[fantacmet]

The reason I ask in my subject line, I was at work tonight, deliering pizza, and ws robbed and hijacked at gunpoint. Two young black males about 17-21 years of age, pulled what appeared to be a blued S&W .357 revolver(skinny barrel about 4 inches long, very nicely polished blue in good shape, it's funny how that is the thing I got the best description of). I had this gun held against the bag of my head with a finger on the trigger almost the entire 30 miles I was forced to drive them. If my cellphone had gone off I have no doubt they would have shot me, scariest part is, my wife had been calling me half the night, but nobody called, not even my boss during this long time out. I got extremely lucky. The biggest problem is, one of them was sitting on my gun so I couldn't get to it. When they got out, they took my wallet which had no cash in it, they went through my wallet before exiting the truck. They have my drivers license with my current address, and even made the comment they might be paying me a visit. They got my CHL which I carry right behind my drivers license for obvious reasons, so that is confirmation of firearm ownership. I don't know if that will scare them, or entice them. Hopefully it will make them realize they were lucky as all hell not have a new ventilation system installed, and make them get rid of the wallet ASAP. Although considering some of the other absolutely stupid and retarded things they did, I wouldn't count on it. These guys were rediculously stupid.

Anyway, how can one shake this kind of crap? I don't need to dwell on it, all the time everyday like I will end up doing.

[mpc12]

I can't tell you how to shake it, but I can say to count your blessings, hug your wife, and thank whatever God you pray to you are still alive. If you haven't, contact the authorities to let them know about the threats and all of the above. Glad to hear you made it out okay, and I wish you the best and will be praying for you and your family.

[kungfuhippie]

Thank God you are alright!
First off. If you don't have a loud dog, get one. Second keep a loaded gun with you and make sure your wife is careful (and has a loaded gun too). I don't know how you can "get over it" You will always remember the experience. The best thing you can do is learn from it and make changes that will hopefully make you safer.
If you are having trouble with this I suggest you see a councilor. I know that it can be hard to do, but getting help when you need it is always a good thing.
I wish I could offer better advice, but I can't. So all I can say is to stay alert and prepared at home and if you are having troubles with it see a professional.
May God be with you.

[Jorg]

Assuming you filed a police report, you may want ask them what victim services they have available. Since you deliver pizza, I doubt you have very good mental health coverage, but this is the kind of thing you would hit up an EAP for help with. If your employer offers such a thing, you might want to look into it.

Alternatively, if you happen to deliver pizza because are a student, it's very likely you can get free or low cost counseling through school.

You may want to peek at this page as well: http://www.co.multnomah.or.us/dcj/victimservices.shtml

[kungfuhippie]

Also, if you go to church many offer counseling for free. They often send you to a like minded person, so if you are atheist it might rub you the wrong way rather than help you to seek help. Also many larger communities have support groups that can help. Your wife will hopefully be your best supporter.

[RockyMtnTactical]

I've been robbed at gunpoint, it was about 9 years ago, before I was even old enough to CCW. It was scary and all... but I don't really think about it much now. I know God was looking out for me that night.

Now I CCW everywhere I can. It really is a powerless feeling to know that someone else has total control of the situation because he has the deadly weapon (and that person was most likely a crack addict on top of it, maybe high at the time for all I know)... I never want to feel that way again...

[Harvster]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I would get some professional counseling. But my best advice as an anonymous stranger over the internet is that you weren't killed. And it is very likely that they had no intention of killing you. People get robbed all the time. Few are killed. You will no doubt replay the events many times. Maybe thinking about how you could have gotten your gun. I don't think many folks ever have a positive reaction to having to take another's life. Maybe it ended up OK. Though, I seriously hope they are caught and punished. It seems they will likely end up in prison or dying a violent death. A final thought, who knows how close we all come to dying every day? Maybe a drunk driver just missed you yesterday? You're still here and that is what really matters.

[fantacmet]

Appreciate the replies. I did file a report, but the officrs, didn't do a whole lot, and afterwards, just drove accross te street, parked, and started conversing. I deliver pizza because it pays the few bills I have, gives me a little extra, and gives me money every night with tips. On one delivery awhile back, it was to a real estate company, which is something I have been looking into. I happened to mention it, that I was interested in buying foreclosures and selling them. They asked what I knew I told them, and they gave me a business card and told me to call them whenever I wanted, as they have classes there, and they'd be happy to get me on board. So I'm REALLY tempted to make that phone call tomorrow. It's more money, and definately safer then driving around in the middle of the night to strange houses and bad drug infested apartment complexes. I've seen and smelled some nasty dirty disgusting garbage. The insides of their dwellings were even worse.

[fantacmet]

Aye harvester true. My insurance doesn't cover seeing a counselor of any kind. I already know there is no way I could have gotten to my gun. By the time I woulda had it up, they woulda been gone. Also around here, most pizza guys that get robbed, do get killed. I think I am done with this place though. I was in a similr situation about a month ago, but I had clear openings, and before they could get to the truck I floored it, and took off around the corner and down the street. The bills that are 100% my responsability are completely caught up for almost 2 months.

[Grandpa Shooter]

The extent to which you were traumatized by this occurence depends on a lot of factors we most likely can't delve into in this venue. I am a disabled combat vet. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is real. It is insidious and can invade every aspect of your life. Anything from developing tics and tremors, to anger and anxiety, isolation and loss of intimacy. Do not take this lightly, or too seriously. Talk to your wife, and go together to seek professional help. It is just as real to your family and those around you as it is to you.

Please don't brush it aside or "stuff" it away. Don't spend 38 years with it like I have. Get rid of it now while you still can.

[Tyris]

Sorry to hear about the car jacking.

How did they get the drop on you?

Whenever Im in the car, my hand gun is under my right leg, or resting between the center console and my seat. It does little good out of reach.

Where in portland was this?

-T

[Gustav]

My deepest condolences on you having to go through this whole ordeal.

All things considered you are a lucky man it could have been much worse thank the powers that be that you came through unharmed physically.

Emotionally and mentally it can take allot to get over having ones life threatened as it makes it harder to trust people.
It usually leads to a whole range of emotions, allow yourself the time and space to get through whatever comes and please do not let fear or hatred take over.

Surround yourself with good people who care and as soon as possible get a safer job.;)

No amount of money is worth your life.

I would talk with those people who are close to you in your life going into whatever level of detail you are comfortable with telling them.

Also I would ask any neighbors or coworkers to be more aware and keep their collective eyes and ears peeled as dumb crooks often do repeat or retribution crimes, CYA and stay alert.

Around your home I would invest in a few cameras and recorders.

If you have a CCW you may want to look at one or two hammerless or shrouded hammer revovlers tucked in a jacket or windbreakers pockets you can fire all the rounds reliably without pulling the pistol out of the pocket.

Allot of the old time cops I knew would carry either a shrouded hammer S&W or Colt .38 keeping their hand on their belt mounted pistol and their weak hand on the hidden pocket pistol while approaching potentially hostile situations or doing vehicle stops especially in bad neighborhoods or at night,

A good level II vest would also be a good thing to look into.

As a side note or point of interest the inventor of Second Chance bullet proof vests went through exactly what you did he used to deliver pizzas and was robbed by IIRC 3 perpetrators his only defense was a cheap .22 revolver.
He succeeded in fighting off his attackers in the ensuing gun battle wounding two IIRC.

His incident helped inspire him to develop what was to become one of the best lifesavers for those going in harms way the Kevlar vest so common today.

Sorry for the long post, I wish you the very best please take care and stay safe!

[fantacmet]

They walked out in front of my truck, then got in. I had it in my center console, and one of them was sitting on it. NE Portland.

[Zoogster]

That is life, it will make you paranoid or cautious however you want to look at it.

Good reminder to keep your weapon a little more handy. No solution is perfect though, so becoming a bit more paranoid or "situationaly aware" is going to be the best thing to come from it.

It is scary, but think of it this way. How many times have you almost been killed while driving down the road by another driver? Probably more than you know. Life can be short, and you never know how long it is going to be for you. So let it make you appreciate the days a little more.

Don't dwell on it too much.
The guys were probably full of it and not going to pay you a visit. In case they were not be prepared, but you should be anyways. It is also a good lesson in how quick you would have had to react if you had your weapon available. Rethink all the moments and when you might have been able to act had you had your weapon. The earlier in the situation the better because you are less likely to be disarmed at that point.
I think you will come to the conclusion that the best way would have been by being a bit more aware of them and thier actions prior to seeing the gun pointed at you.

The downside is being extremely aware all the time is very exhausting, and will make every call and walk to and from your vehicle, standing at doors etc a lot more work than you have come to expect and feel comfortable with. Perhaps a new line of work is in order if you do not like that change.
Scan 360 often, have a bubble of personal space you are keenly aware if anyone enters, which grows larger or smaller depending on locational risk. Stand in spots that give you more reaction time when confronted with something unexpected, like to the side of doors while you wait, not in front of them. Be aware of windows while doing so. Keep vehicles or other things between you and others in relatively empty parking lots while walking back to your vehicle in apartment complexes etc. There is many things you can do that will give you more reaction time, and make others a lot more obvious if they are trying to close that distance to reach you. Be aware when thresholds like doorways. Anytime someone goes from having an obstacle between them and you to being in open line of sight its a threshold, your reaction time to them just diminished, so be aware of them.
Like I said it will be mentaly trying, and if it is too much then you need to find a new line of work. That is unless you can be comfortable going back to a more carefree but vulnerable demeanor.
The smart living front line soldiers in Iraq become just that way while being ever vigilant watching for potential suicide bombers and other threats. Of course they can have trouble turning it off when they come home. In civilian life that becomes PTSD, but in the field it is good survival skills.
After awhile though it can become second nature and you can turn it off and on. It is an invaluable skill in bad areas.

[M249MachineGun]

As a man in the same line of work, in the same city, I am now terrified.

[skipjack_1st]

Learn from it! Any life experience that we can learn from and rethink how we might do things better/differently will better prepare you.

Scary and an eye opener for sure but I'll bet after the newness of it softens a bit, you will be better for it. (Better prepared, aware, or whatever). Glad you made it through unscathed.

[30 cal slob]

i'm sorry you had to go through that.

hopefully, the memories won't be so traumatic and the perps are caught ASAP.

hopefully, a learning experience. your post was such for me.

[Ala Dan]

I don't think one ever gets over a traumatic event such as you describe. For
example, my wife was car-jacked back in Oct. of '94 and a handgun was placed
to her head; with the threat of violence, if she did not hand over her car keys.
Even though the perp failed to execute his threat's, he made off with the entire
car and all of its contents. To this very day, my wife relives the horrors of that
day; when the Good Lord spared her.

[owen]

First, you're not a victim, you're a survivor.

Second, if you work for a large chain, there may be counseling avaialable outside of your health insurance. Pizza guys get held up constantly, because its easy to get all y'all to come to the perp, and you generally carry cash.

I hope you've mentioned this to your supervisor.

[romma]

Been there! It is awful!

[USMC - Retired]

Back to the primary question, "how does one get over almost being killed".


Almost get killed a few more times. After a while it stops bothering you...

[jwxspoon]

A few years ago in a military 'peacekeeping' situation I was part of a team searching homes. I was on security outside the home being currently searched and was not as alert as I should have been. An armed man bolted out of the front door of the home being searched and ran RIGHT PAST ME, within 3 feet or so, without shooting me as I fumbled to get my act together.

I don't know if he was scared or what; in the subsequent yelling and shooting he went down and I didn't.

I have thought of this incident almost daily and certainly weekly since it happened. It's one of the most vivid memories of my life, as if it had happened yesterday. I have dreamed about it and even daydreamed.

You won't ever forget the robbery, but you can't let it dictate the way you live your life.

Best,

jw

[Bubbles]

How does one get over almost being killed?

1) Time.
2) Counseling, if you find yourself having problems coping.

I haven't come close to getting killed AFAIK. I have been hurt badly (think concussions, broken bones, and hospitalizations) and come close to being crippled (broken back) in falls off of horses. You've heard the old axiom "if you fall off a horse you have to get right back on". In theory that's to teach the horse that tossing the rider won't get him out of work; in practice it's to teach the rider that while yes, you fell off, you can get past it and move on. It's when you can't get back on because you're in the back of an ambulance on the way to the ER that your brain starts playing some nasty tricks on you.

Since this incident just happened expect to feel shaky about it for a while - that's normal. Also, don't let anyone tell you to "just get over it", or make you think that you're some sort of wimp if you can't put it past you without professional help.

FWIW I'd be looking for a new job. Some horses aren't worth re-mounting...

[Tully M. Pick]

Don't dwell on what could have happened to you. Think about what did happen, if that makes sense. Then think about how you can stop it from happening again.

Sounds easy, but it took me damn near 15 years to figure that one out.

[strat81]

Kiss your wife, call your mom, dad, brothers, & sisters and tell them you love them.

Contact every pizzeria within 10-15 miles of the delivery address. Go down in person, and speak to the owner or manager. Tell them what happened, how it happened, etc and ask them to remind their drivers to be a bit more vigilant.

If it's in the budget, look into a Kel-Tec P3AT or maybe a 642 if you have big enough pockets.

[zxcvbob]

Sorry to hear about this, but at least you are still alive.

Your insurance may suck, but what about your employer's insurance? This happened on the job, so I think Workman's Comp ought to apply for at least a little bit of counseling, Xanax, etc.

Best regards,
Bob

[BridgeWalker]

Ask if your employer has an EAP aka employee assistance program. They are getting quite common and generally provide co-pay-less short-term counseling. Next, make sure your wife hops online and reads a bit about traumatic encounters and their aftermath. It will likely affect your behavior. I've had two close brushes with death--one a violent encounter involving knives and the other a medical problem. Both led to an aftermath of several stages but if you keep yourself aware of yourself and what is going on and why, it just helps you learn more. Counseling helps. Family helps. Sel-awareness helps.

In this case, moving up to being very well-protected at all times will help too.

[cyclist]

The following is my opinion, nothing more, ignore it if you want to.

First, you don't get over this sort of thing, you do move past it and make adjustments in your life as a result of it. I won't critique the situation since I wasn't there and didn't see where you gave a play by play of how the situation played out except to say that what little I read shows a bit of room for personal security adjustments. I'm currently reading a book my Marc MacYoung that covers some aspects of situational awareness, there are other books and web sites such as this one that go into detail of how to be aware and protect yourself. When they found your permit be very thankfull they didn't escalate the situation looking for your weapon. Make adjustments and move beyond the incident.

Second, I hate to tell you this, but being a real estate agent opens you up to similar stuff and situations as does being a pizza delivery person. I'm a licensed real estate agent, and although I've not gone through what you went through, others have. Get educated, be aware, be prepared, and keep your options open. The National Realtors Association offers safety awareness programs, probably worth checking into.

You survived, good, keep surviving.

[SASS#23149]

Was the door they came in thur unlocked?? I":m beting it was.The extra second or two would have maybe given you time to get away.I hit my power door locks before I'm even in my car or truck seat.

I"m VERY VERY happy that you were not hurt!!

[Fletchette]

Don't dwell on what could have happened to you. Think about what did happen, if that makes sense. Then think about how you can stop it from happening again.

Sounds easy, but it took me damn near 15 years to figure that one out.

Ditto. Don't kick yourself about what youy did or did not do. No one gets anything right the first time (especially when surprised). Learn from it and prepare for the future.

And cherish every day you got.

[tkkr]

everything happens for a reason

[Bazooka Joe71]

I don't have any good advice to add...Just wanted to say I'm glad you are OK.

Keep that gun in reach!

[rdhood]

Almost being killed is like pain... the longer the time passes, the less intense the experience becomes.

What you experienced is a lot like being told you have cancer. There is nothing quite like realizing... for the first time... that you really are mortal. It makes an indelible print on you. You won't get over it, but the memory will dull.

It will make you more aware of the sh** going on around you, and how truly dangerous or life threatening things can get in a hurry.

We are all hanging by a thread. The vast majority of us don't realize it.

[sm]

fantacmet,

You survived, that is a win.

I have personal experiences in this area. What works for someone, may not be the same thing that works for another.

For me:
Accepting the fact I went through something first off.
Denial only delays and impedes moving forward.

It takes me a little bit to get over the situation, and then I have my adrenalin dump. Depending on situation, dictates how I dump.
I vent, or perhaps better to say I get with a trusted person(s) that have been through experiences as well. I want someone that has been through something as well, as they can relate, and understand.

Like Kind do better together in sharing experiences, strength, and hope.

Be it a car-jacking, going through same surgeries, kids of same ages going through life stuff, or whatever in life.
i. e. Men can relate to Men going through open heart surgeries with questions and concerns and Ladies can relate better to ladies going through open heart surgeries .
While the same surgery, and can cross genders on a lot of sharing, the fact is, some "personal" concerns arise for men, and women and same gender can better relate, and share.

Being blunt, some Clergy, and Counselors are full of crap. They have not BTDT and have no friggin' clue of what one feels or is going through.

Clergy and Counselors that have BTDT - in my experience - do not bring up the same sharing [religion, and psycho-babble] - instead, share, and assist on the same level, and from the perspectives of having BTDT.

I have visited with members on THR, I have met, that have BTDT and I trust.
I yelled at a person more local to me once, after an incident, involved in the psych business for a church, it only took one "no" and they left. My eyes said I'd do what my mind was thinking.
This person has no iota of anything, just textbook and parroting.

I get back in the Saddle, just how raised.
Trusted folks and we replicate what I went through, what they went through.
It hurts, it is scary, but we do it.
Afterwards mistakes, improvements are discussed, even done in the replicating.
Nobody talks down, no "you idiot", nothing. Constructive Critique, done with Understanding and Respect.

I have used Clergy that have been shot, have killed others in Conflicts.
Psych's that have been in conflicts, and they too have been shot, knifed, and had to kill.
Army Rangers, Special Forces, Army Nat'l Guard, Marines, Navy, Air Force...you name it.

Find someone that has BTDT.
Later, find a private spot, use safety, and replicate to learn from it, and put it behind you.
It will still be there, just put it in a box, set upon a shelf, and let be.
The lessons learned, will stay with you, there is no reason to get that box back down and "go there" again. Your choice to do so, still best advice is set that box on the shelf, and let it go.

You do not have to get that box back down, to pass forward when it is your turn, to be there for another.


One day at a time.
Sometimes the best one can do is white knuckle that mother, until the pain , fear, upset and anger for 2 min, 10 min, whatever passes.

Only you have the keys to you, and can allow anything, anyone to have power over you.

Sending best-

Steve

[benEzra]

If you haven't already, you may wish to be on your guard for signs of identity theft (check your credit reports occasionally, cancel any credit cards they got, etc.) if they got your DL and other stuff.

[mindwip]

To answer your question. You never get over events like that. You "simply" learn to live with them. Same thing when a family member dies, you never get over the fact their died. You learn to live with it.

[Shadowangel]

I guess I need more classes. I don't know how to react in that sort of situation. If I have the jump on someone that's brandishing a gun or has a knife or something, i'm confident I could take care of the situation, but in a situation where the guy already has a gun trained on me... well, I don't think I can draw and shoot faster than someone can pull a trigger.

[TallPine]

I imagine that it's easier getting over almost being killed than actually being killed. ;)

About 30 years ago, I was up in the hills working by myself cutting a nice sized (about 36" diameter) Douglas Fir. I duly noted that there was an equally large snag leaning into the live fir. Part way through the back cut, my saw bogged down from all the sawdust, so I shut it off right in the cut, cleaned the air filter, and then restarted the saw still (little pun, there) in the cut. Somehow in all of this distraction I managed to forget about the leaning snag... :uhoh:

So I finish the back cut, pull out the saw, and step back what would normally be a safe distance and direction to watch the fir fall right where I intended. A few seconds later the snag dropped right beside me - so close that it bumped the tip of the saw bar as it passed. A few feet to the left and it would have been like squashing a bug.

I went back to work, a little bit more alert. Wasn't much sense worrying about it after that :)

[p85]

First off, I am glad to see you survived the ordeal. I was robbed at gun point several years ago while working at a convenience store. It isn't something you forget. You count your blessings and go forward. If you haven't been there, you don't know how you will react and you do re-live the experience from time to time playing the "what if" game. I was carrying concealed at the time but I will admit that the perp got the drop on me taking me totally by surprise. I quickly learned the need to increase my situational awareness. It's not pleasant staring down the barrel of a .45 and in retrospect, I am glad that he didn't know that I was carrying. I'm sure he was scared and only wanted the cash in the till. Had he known I was armed, one of two things would have happened. 1. No attempt at robbery or, 2. shoot first then steal the cash. Hang in there.

[Biker]

It passes. The more it happens, the quicker it passes.

For me, brew and bimbos did the trick.

"...Easy money, faithless women, Red Eye Whiskey, for the pain."

The Eagles - Doolin' Daltin

Biker

[DC3-CVN-72]

I was robbed at gun point when I worked at a gas station in Chicago when I was 17 yrs. old. I was behind the counter, 2 guys walked in, the 1st guy goes in his waistband and produces a revolver and sticks in the center of my forhead and says " hit no sale and don't move" I do what he says and I rember haveing to lean into the gun so he would'ent Knock me over. He took all the money out of the register and the other guy grabbed as many cartons of cigeretts as he could carry. As this is happening I rember hearing a voice say " Relax, he's not going to shoot you, it's not your time" then they were gone. The whole thing lasted maby 2 min. I rember being verry mad and I did'ent start shaking untill I was telling the police what had just happened. I never told my mom & dad because I did'ent want to worry them. The next day I went and got a job at one of thoes quick oil change places. as far as getting over it, I don't have an answer for you because it has never realy bothered me. I'll never forget it, but I've just moved on and I'm more aware of the people around me. I'm glad your O.K. and if you think you need help getting over this you probably do so my advice would be to seek counseling.

[CountGlockula]

It helps to just talk about it and hear comforting responses from THR members.

[buck00]

They have my drivers license with my current address, and even made the comment they might be paying me a visit.

Logically, there is almost no chance of this happening. They wanted to get to your head, scare you, and thus make you hesitate about calling the cops.

However, emotionally, you most likely are going to be paranoid for a long time thinking they actually will come to your house.

* Honestly- only time will heal this. Talk about it, vent, get angry, go work out, see a counselor, go to church, etc.... whatever works, but in the end it will take a long time to shake the psychological trauma.

[RecoilRob]

Hopefully, the theraputic value of your friends here will help with the trauma.

I've tried to think out a 'plan of action' for every situation I have read/heard about happening to someone else or that I could think of myself. In the 'Carjacked and forced to drive' scenerio, I have it in my mind to impale my car on the first very solid thing that comes my way. Bridge abutment would work fine. I always wear my seatbelts...the badguys likely don't. I'll survive a 35-40mph barrier crash....they won't. I'd sacrifice my car to get them. Yep.

[Pilgrim]

In my twenty year naval aviation career, there were three times, perhaps more, where I came close to being killed. The first was a near mid-air collision with another jet. The second was when my ship rammed a oil tanker and there was so much oil in the water that if a fire had started there would have been no way to fight the fire. The ship's fire mains were sucking up crude oil. The third was when I almost flew into a hill top off of a practice bombing mission.

After those experiences, it was a bit of a surprise when my then wife found herself depressed, moody, and unable to sleep. After talking about it, we traced it back to when she rolled her pickup truck and travel trailer. She thought at the moment she was going to die. The delayed depression, moodiness, and insomnia was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

PTSD isn't just something that affects soldiers in combat. Any situation where one faces one's mortality, or faces death or suffering in another person can trigger it.

The passage of time will help. Talking about it to others helps too. Also, accepting that some day you will die and there is nothing you can do about it will also help.

A belief your soul and consciousness will survive physical death as in the Christian faith also helps.

Pilgrim

[Houston Tom]

Glad your ok, You are in my prayers.

learn from it as much as you can, God Bless

[Albatross]

Counseling, xanax, fear of them showing up at your house?

You know what a man is suppose to feel after looking at the bright face of danger?

He should feel that the sky is bluer, jokes funnier, beer colder and life sweeter.

The antidote for fear is righteous anger. If they show up to your home to do you harm return it to them three fold.

/Or how about you just man up and be thankful you've lived on to another day and forget all about it.

[plexreticle]

If you still feel like **** after a couple of months get a counselor thats specializes in PTSD.

[Mr Kablammo]

This response is something different than the others. At first, because it is different, I did not want to post. After some reflection and scotch...

Remembering back to childhood, there have been at least six, probably ten, near-death experiences. Mostly running in front of cars, almost falling out of trees, etc...

Most notable was speeding 55-60 mph in a 35 mph zone and straight thru a yield sign. A car was coming from the left and I yanked the steering wheel to the right. The car, with a friend with me, hit the curb to the right front tire. The left front back tire, IIRC, snagged the curb and was bent totally perpendicular. The front of the car completely lifted up and the car rotated 90 degrees. I still remember thinking, "What a beautiful clear blue sky" as I went from seeing the road to seeing the wild blue yonder. The car went from 60 mph to 0 mph in like 30 feet or less and stopped in front of a very big and solid tree. The car was totalled. The car coming from the left sustained a big scrape on her front right fender. She was well able to drive off after the police finished. I was completely uninjured. My friend had bumped his elbow; he got out his guitar, and played an 'Ode to Life' at the curbside. Really it was a miracle of physics. At the time I told the officer that I had 'two beers'. He did not disagree. God is merciful to drunks, fools, and drunk fools.

At the time, I was OK. Several hours later my legs began to shake so bad that I could hardly stand. Strangely, before that time I could not cross my legs except in the 'square' position. The next day I could do the 'Old Man' or 'European Cross' or 'Effete Cross' where one leg is right over the other.

Sometime later, I had a medical condition that mimicks prostate cancer. Damn, that hurt like Hell. For two years I believed that I had a slowly spreading cancer with no way to pay for consulsation nor treatment. It was like a new life to get a dose of antibiotics and have the pain disappear in weeks. Thank you G-d for science!

Now then, what did these events mean to me; and maybe for you? Consider yourself to already be dead. You now live in the USA, which is the equal to Heaven for 9/10 ths of mankind currently alive and 99/100ths for all humans that ever lived. Where-ever you have the choice between anger and patience, choose patience. Where-ever you have the choice between charity and doubt, choose charity. Where-ever you have the choice between forgiveness and grudge, choose forgiveness.

You are now a figment of the imagination of the people that you know. Your life is not your own, it is the property of those that you love and those that you can help. IMO, taking the Bodhisattva Vow or an equivilent is the right thing to do.

More practically: move, train all family members with firearms, get a new job. As others have said, the trauma will recede. Be sure that the gratitude is eternal. Peace and blessings, Mr. K.

[LarryS.]

fantacmet.....

I'm really not trying to upset you but your first "counseling" regarding a life threatening situation invovling a handgun should have subconsciously started well before you made the decision to get your CHL.......a very little bit of imagination should tell you things could have ended VERY differently in several respects.
Concentrate on learning from the experience and move on.....

[Denko]

First I want to say I am glad you were not hurt.
You will always remember this, but time and talking with friends will help.
Use this as a learning experience, what could you have done differently? But always remember you can do everything right and still die.
Was the vehicle door locked? A gun in the console is not readily available. As someone mentioned a hammerless revolver is very handy. You should join the 642 club on this board.A 642 in an ankle holster and one carried AIWB(appendix inside waste band) would be my choice. A 642 is also good in an outside coat pocket and can be fired from the pocket. I would have a very bright flashlight to scan areas before walking to the house/apartment.Good luck.

[fantacmet]

After looking back on it, even if I'd been able to get to my gun, there is nothing I coulda done, not they way theyw ere watching and had the gun on me the entire time. The only exception woulda been a specially designed holster aimed right at the passenger seat of my truck, wasn't gonna happen. I did look around for something to hit head on, but could find nothing except for other cars on the road and then it's risking their lives as well. All the bridge abutments I passed there were smooth walls running right up to them to prevent a collision. Realy the only thing Ic oulda done different was quickly to grab the gun from the console and shoot them in the back. Not gonna happen unless they are running up to kill someone else. Sure they are scum and don't deserve to live, but I'm not gonna do something like that. Dwelling on this all the time constantly is the part that drives me nuts. I am not sure why I do but I do for some reason. My first thought was ***? Due to their actiosn and their jumpiness, I was quite sure that in spite of their reassurances they had plans for my death. I did however make the absolute decision that if they wanted me to turn down some dark street or alley, they were going through the windshield, and I was boudning my head off the steeering wheel, to hell with someones parked car or building. Anything that looked like it was going to be apparent we were headed for a spot for an easily concealed death, they were going through the window. Better to risk dying for myself and give them absolute death, then to assure their freedom and my death, and my children's fatherless life, and my wife's widowness.

The bond between me and my wife is almost disgustingly powerful. She would literally not be able to survive without me. She'd be screwed. The likewise is also true, but in different ways.

The most ironic part is, we used to live REALLY bad neighborhood. She always insisted she could go to the store alone at 1am and nothing would every happen, it always happens to others. I always told her no thats jinxing yourself, and you are NOT going to the store by yourself in the middle of the night. Then last night after ithappens she fires off with, you never think it's going to happen to you. I was just dumbfounded. Yes my wife is a blonde. Textbook example in some ways, but she's mine, she's wonderful,a nd loyal and I love her.

Regarding moving and finding another job. Impossible to move at this point. Finding another job, just a pain, but not impossible. I will probably be putting in my 2 weeks very shortly. I refuse to deliver to that same area anymore, so closing shifts are going to be out.

[Harley Quinn]

Blue skinny revolver does not sound like a new 357:uhoh: More like a 38 in an old style.

Glad you survived it, you were not wounded, only scared.

Fear is a terrible thing and you need to learn how to control it. Lots of information out and about regarding it. Might be why alcohol and calming drugs like that are so popular. But for every person who takes that step there is a huge group that never recover from it.

The only real answer is courage...Some have it some don't...I'd say you need to look around for it, and hang on to it.

[AndyC]

You survived an encounter with a predator - that's an incredibly valuable experience, so learn from it, savor your good fortune and move on.

[Just Jim]

Sounds like the cops should start delivering pizzas. I don't think that with the current chief in Portland that they will go after the crooks though.

jj

[XavierBreath]

You don't "get over" almost being killed. You integrate it into your life.

Awareness and avoidance is your number one protection. The gun is only a last resort when your other defenses break down.

I am not going to analyze your experience and try to tell you what you did wrong. That would be arrogant of me, and unfair to you. Instead, I urge you in the upcoming months, to personally, rationally and honestly analyze how you came to be in the predicament you found yourself in. Obtain what ever training you can to prevent a re-occurance, and place the lessons learned into practice. Then I challenge you to educate others in a knowledgeable way that only you can provide.

Then, you will have integrated the experience and moved forward. You will not be "over" the experience.......Hopefully you never will be "over" it. Getting "over it" requires the element of denial. Hopefully, you will more fully appreciate the need for self defense, and you will be able to proceed with your life without this experience haunting your every move.

Guns are not magic talismans. Avoidance through threat recognition is. Read more about that in this thread (http://thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=308101).

[Denko]

Have you thought about carrying a decoy/throw away wallet. Put 20 bucks in ones and some of those no name credit cards you get with offers in the mail. The other thing you need to do is freeze your credit.They have enough info to cause you some credit woes. Here is a link with more info.
http://www.yourcreditadvisor.com/blog/2007/03/your_identity_h.html

[TallPine]

Sounds like the cops should start delivering pizzas.

They wouldn't do that without backup, or maybe even a SWAP team
(Special Weapons And Pizzas)

:rolleyes:

[george29]

It passes. The more it happens, the quicker it passes.

For me, brew and bimbos did the trick.


I second that, and might I add, being in the company of like minded individuals that know from being there themselves. Join a therapy group, it's the next best thing to a fireteam that just went through the grinder and came out whole.

[TwitchALot]

:what: Glad you're okay. Others have already given good advice here, and there's really not much you can do but learn from it and move on, albeit with a greater appreciation for life and those you care about. Stay safe.

[Harley Quinn]

They wouldn't do that without backup, or maybe even a SWAP team
(Special Weapons And Pizzas)

:D

Special Weapons Are Pizzas:what:

Those and donuts, similar result in the human frame I have noticed.:rolleyes:

Regarding the OP.

The awareness is very important and that it happens to others is a good one to take to heart. Mixing with those that have gotten through it would be a good thing. Those who were able to handle it and go on, not the others.;)


The folks that think a small miss, is as good as a mile are the ones to listen to.
Since your concerns are for your wife also, she will have some input that you will have to digest.:uhoh:

Good luck.