This little piggy died by machine gun fire


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2dogs
July 14, 2003, 07:06 AM
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=3&art_id=iol1057937769937P252&set_id=1

This little piggy died by machine gun fire

July 11 2003 at 05:36PM



Tallin, Estonia - An Estonian court fined a farmer for shooting his pigs with a machine gun instead of having his livestock slaughtered the traditional manner, BNS news agency reported on Thursday.

The court in the small town of Polva heard that the 34-year-old had kept pigs for private consumption only. He had pleaded guilty and was sentenced for illegal possession of arms.

The farmer, who was fined €396 (about R3 000), already had a criminal record for theft and rowdyism. - Sapa-DPA

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cool45auto
July 14, 2003, 07:12 AM
already had a criminal record for theft and rowdyism.

Hmmm, someone must have squealed on him.:scrutiny:

seeker_two
July 14, 2003, 11:19 AM
cool9mm: Are you giving the Estonians a rib-bing...

...or are you just hamming it up for our sakes?

:D :D :D

Intune
July 14, 2003, 11:40 AM
"I'll huff & puff & mow you down!"

What a porker!:D

Ex-Doc
July 14, 2003, 11:57 AM
rowdyism?

JDSlack
July 14, 2003, 12:12 PM
Ex-Doc...

I like "rowdyism" to. If it's what I think it is, it's a good thing they don't have that charge here. I'd never have gotten out of college. I also like the fact that the fine was less than 400 Euros for using a machine gun.

DJJ
July 14, 2003, 01:32 PM
Alright, now don't go hog wild with the puns.

If he had used a Thompson, would that have made it a "pork chopper"?

:D

Kestryll
July 14, 2003, 01:32 PM
shooting his pigs with a machine gun instead of having his livestock slaughtered the traditional manner

Anyone else wonder if the Judge has stock in the saughter house???

DamnedDirtyApe
July 14, 2003, 01:34 PM
Politically Correct Three Little Pigs
>
>
Once there were 3 little pigs who lived together in mutual respect and in
harmony with their environment. Using materials that were indigenous to
the area they each built a beautiful house. One pig built a house of straw,
one a house of sticks, and one a house of dung, clay and creeper vines shaped into bricks and baked in a small kiln. When they were finished, the pigs were satisfied with their work and settled back to live in peace and
self-determination.

But their idyll was soon shattered. One day, along came a big, bad wolf with expansionist ideas. He saw the pigs and grew very hungry in both a physical and ideological sense. When the pigs saw the wolf, they ran into the house of straw. The wolf ran up to the house and banged on the door, shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

The pigs shouted back, "Your gunboat tactics hold no fear for pigs
defending their homes and culture." But the wolf wasn't to be denied what he thought was his manifest destiny. So he huffed and puffed and blew down the house of straw. The frightened pigs ran to the house of sticks, with the wolf in hot pursuit. Where the house had stood, other wolves bought up the land and started a banana plantation.

At the house of sticks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted,
"Little, pigs, little pigs, let me in!" The pigs shouted back, "Go to
hell, you carnivorous, imperialistic oppressor!" At this the wolf huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks. The pigs ran to the house of bricks, with the wolf close at their heels. Where the house of sticks had stood, other wolves built a time-share condo resort complex for vacationing wolves, with each unit a fibreglass reconstruction
of the house of sticks, as well as native curio shops, snorkeling and
dolphin shows.

At the house of bricks, the wolf again banged on the door and shouted,
"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!" This time in response, the pigs sang songs of solidarity and wrote letters of protest to the United Nations.

By now the wolf was getting angry at the pigs' refusal to see the
situation from the carnivore's point of view. So he huffed and puffed, and huffed and puffed, then grabbed his chest and fell over dead from a massive heart attack brought on from eating too many fatty foods.

The three little pigs rejoiced that justice had triumphed and did a little
dance around the corpse of the wolf. Their next step was to liberate their
homeland. They gathered together a band of other pigs who had been forced off their lands. This new brigade of porcinistas attacked the resort
complex with machine-guns and rocket launchers and slaughtered the cruel wolf oppressors, sending a clear signal to the rest of the hemisphere not to meddle in their internal affairs. Then the pigs set up a model
socialist democracy with free education, universal health care and affordable housing for everyone. {My note: well it is a fairy tale after all.}

*Please note: The wolf in this story was a metaphorical construct. No
actual wolves were harmed in the writing of the story.

Dave P
July 14, 2003, 01:35 PM
Porkers Plugged in Polva!

mete
July 14, 2003, 02:03 PM
I'm shocked , certainly the socialist gov't of Estonia should provide Kevlar jackets to protect their porcine ethnic group.

45R
July 14, 2003, 02:08 PM
Maybe he just wasn't big on swine............:scrutiny:

Pebcac
July 14, 2003, 03:50 PM
"Porcinistas"

Bwahahahaha!!!

seeker_two
July 14, 2003, 03:52 PM
If he had used a Thompson, would that have made it a "pork chopper"?

That was SOW bad....:rolleyes:

KC
July 14, 2003, 05:37 PM
These puns are the wurst.

Ex-Doc
July 14, 2003, 05:43 PM
Ebonics Politically Correct Three Little Pigs
>
>
Once dere wuz 3 little pigs who lived together in mutual respect an' in
harmony wiff they environment. Using materials dat wuz indigenous ta
da area dey each built uh fine crib. One pig built uh crib o' straw,
one uh crib o' sticks, an' one uh crib o' dung, clay an' creeper vines shaped into bricks an' baked in uh small kiln. When dey wuz finished, da pigs wuz satisfied wiff they werk an' settled back ta live in peace an'
self-determination.

But they idyll wuz soon shattered. One day, along came uh big, bad wolf wiff expansionist ideas. He seen da pigs an' grew very hungry in both uh physical an' ideological sense. When da pigs seen da wolf, dey ran into da crib o' straw. The wolf ran up ta da crib an' banged on da do', shouting, "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"

The pigs shouted back, "Your gunboat tactics hold nahh fear fo' pigs
defending they homes an' culture." But da wolf wasn't ta be denied what he thought wuz his manifest destiny. So he huffed an' puffed an' blew down da crib o' straw. The frightened pigs ran ta da crib o' sticks, wiff da wolf in hot pursuit. Where da crib had stood, other wolves ganked up da land an' started uh banana plantation.

At da crib o' sticks, da wolf ag'in banged on da do' an' shouted,
"Little, pigs, little pigs, let me in!" The pigs shouted back, "Go ta
hell, ya carnivorous, imperialistic oppressor!" At dis here da wolf huffed an' puffed an' blew down da crib o' sticks. The pigs ran ta da crib o' bricks, wiff da wolf close at they heels. Where da crib o' sticks had stood, other wolves built uh time-share condo resort complex fo' vacationing wolves, wiff each unit uh fibreglass reconstruction
o' da crib o' sticks, as well as native curio shops, snorkeling an'
dolphin shows.

At da crib o' bricks, da wolf ag'in banged on da do' an' shouted,
"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!" This tyme in response, da pigs sang songs o' solidarity an' wrote letters o' protest ta da United Nations.

By now da wolf wuz getting angry at da pigs' refusal ta see da
???? from da carnivore'spoint o' view. So he huffed an' puffed, an' huffed an' puffed, then grabbed his chest an' fell over dead from uh massive heart attack brought on from grubbin on too many fatty foods.

The three little pigs rejoiced dat justice had triumphed an' did uh little
get jiggy wit it around da corpse o' da wolf. Their next step wuz ta liberate they
homeland. They gathered together uh gang o' other pigs who had been forced off they lands. This new brigade o' porcinistas attacked da resort
complex wiff machine-guns an' rocket launchers an' slaughtered da cruel wolf oppressors, sending uh clear signal ta da rest o' da hemisphere not ta meddle in they internal affairs. Then da pigs set up uh model
socialist democracy wiff free education, universal health care an' affordable housing fo' brothas. {My note: well it iz uh fairy tale afta all.}

*Please note: The wolf in dis here story wuz uh metaphorical construct. No
actual wolves wuz harmed in da writing o' da story.

sho 'nuff!

seeker_two
July 14, 2003, 05:45 PM
Ex-Doc: BRAT was terrible!!! :p

DJJ
July 14, 2003, 05:57 PM
Maybe he got confused between "fine swine" and "Feinstein". :evil:

Intune
July 14, 2003, 07:45 PM
His neighbor, Sty Sounder stated: “It was like shooting pork in a barrel, your Honor. I hated to do it, felt like a boar really, but I squealed on him.”

:D

seeker_two
July 14, 2003, 08:48 PM
We're scrapin' the bottom of the trough, now...:p

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