A Bill To Regulate The Hunting And Harvesting Of Attorneys


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Zorro
January 9, 2003, 10:17 PM
A Bill To Regulate The Hunting And Harvesting Of Attorneys

372.01 -Any person with a valid state rodent or armadillo
hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for
recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.

372.02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is
permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is,
however, prohibited.

372.03 -The willful killing of attorneys with a motor
vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance
being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally
struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be
removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to
the nearest car wash.

372.04 -It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys
from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.

372.05 -It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE",
or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

372.06 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards
of BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche dealerships, except on
Wednesday afternoons.

372.07 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of
courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or
hospitals.

372.08 -If an attorney gains elective office, it is not
necessary to have a licence to hunt, trap or possess the
same.

372.09 -It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a
reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax
accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

372.10 -Bag Limits Per Day:

Yellow-bellied Sidewinders: 2
Two-faced Tort-feasors: 1
Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators: 3
Horn-rimmed Cut-throats: 2
Minutiae-advocating Chickens: 4
Honest Attorneys: 0 (Protected, Endangered

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Gewehr98
January 9, 2003, 10:54 PM
For ambulance chasers or personal injury lawyers, ie. Jacoby & Myers, etc.

Speaking of which, how does one properly prepare a freshly-taken attorney? Smoked, stewed, BBQ?

Preacherman
January 9, 2003, 11:51 PM
Gentlemen, whilst this is indeed very funny, it's a bit too much for The High Road. Much as we may dislike certain members of society, we can't advocate or support calls for killing them. Sorry, but I'm going to have to close this. (Still, ROFL!!! :D )

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