"Tactical" schmactical


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Sir Galahad
July 17, 2003, 12:30 AM
Old McTactical had a marketing gimmick, A-R-A-R-O...and with this gimmick he sold some crap, A-R-A-R-O...here a tactical, there a tactical, tactical, tactical, everywhere a tactical...Old McTactical had a marketing gimmick...A-R-A-R-O...and with this gimmick he sold lots of black clothing, even more than the bondage shops on Hollywood Blvd...A-R-A-R-O...here a black nylon chest mag harness, there a thigh holster, here an overpriced Kydex holster...A-R-A-R-O....Old McTactical had a store, he called it SpecOpsTacticalSEALSOGSF Outlet...and in this store, he sold tons of crap, to guys who'll assault old soda cans...they'll run for 50 feet, they'll drop on nicely-raked sand, they'll look really cool, and it'll only cost something like 5 grand...A-R-A-R-O... C'mon, everyone sing along!

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Preacherman
July 17, 2003, 12:33 AM
SpecOpsTacticalSEALSOGSF Outlet
BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

:D :D :D

Don't tell Skunkabilly... he'll buy up their entire inventory, particularly the carbon-fiber stuff!

blades67
July 17, 2003, 12:43 AM
You can't be a SEEL if you don't have black pajamas sold as a Ninja suit.:neener:

MMcCall
July 17, 2003, 12:43 AM
That's the funniest thing I've read all day.. thanks!

Fly Navy
July 17, 2003, 01:04 AM
Uh oh, I smell a skunk........;)

10-Ring
July 17, 2003, 01:18 AM
Blasphemer! :neener: Don't let Skunk hear you! :D

That was pretty funny tho ;)

Cameron Lamont
July 17, 2003, 01:40 AM
That was fantastic!

Bravo.

Cameron

BamBam-31
July 17, 2003, 01:47 AM
Sir Galahad,

Sometimes, I think you have nothing better to do than to scheme up new ways to make me blow Coke outta my nose. Painful. :D

"With a tac-tac here, and a tac-tac there, here a tac, there a tac, everywhere a tac-tac, Ol' McTactical had a store, A-R-A-R-O!!" :neener:

Schuey2002
July 17, 2003, 02:10 AM
LMAO !! :D :neener: :D

venom600
July 17, 2003, 03:09 AM
Thanks, I was catching up on posts before heading home from a long day at work.......that made my evening. :D

--Ben

sm
July 17, 2003, 04:16 AM
...meanwhile some old feller shows up to see what all the commotion was about. Just an old retired LEO checking the back forty. "Hey old timer wanna join in" a pajama clad guy asked with a smirky grin".

Yep.

Old timer has a well worn old Sam Browne belt and holster, the blueing was once probably pretty nice on that Old model 19. At 50 yds he nails all 6 steels dowrange. [jaws drop 50 yds!!] He then moves up and proceeds to fire 12 shots in less than 10 seconds on target with reload...the pajama clad guy checks the timer, checks the target... from 7 yds...shots fit inside the diameter of his high dollar plastic tac watch.

Old feller gets back in his truck "thanks fellas, I guess I could still meet the quals WE HAD to make when I was...well I guess it's different now...his old truck puffed a bit of smoke as he shifted going'round the bend...

seeker_two
July 17, 2003, 06:22 AM
I wonder if Hanes & FOTL know how much money they could make if they put the word "tactical" on their dark-colored underwear...

http://www.hanes.com/mens/images/products/m_forwardfashion_detail.jpg

http://www.hanes.com/womens/images/fea_womens_bras.jpg

Just a thought...:evil:

bedlamite
July 17, 2003, 09:12 AM
Camelot (er, Flagstaff, AZ)

It's a silly place.

MicroBalrog
July 17, 2003, 10:05 AM
I wonder if Hanes & FOTL know how much money they could make if they put the word "tactical" on their dark-colored underwear...

Hanes' briefs - tactical insertion.:neener:

fatboyclone
July 17, 2003, 10:21 AM
thanks i needed a good laugh this morning!!!!! :D

critter
July 17, 2003, 10:21 AM
Sir G:
Fine song! However, you know that only us old codgers can relate to something patterned after Old McDonald Had a Farm. These young kids now days probably never heard that at all.

So-you are just gonna have to redo your little ballad in the form of a RAP so these youngsters understand!! HA! TACTICAL RAP! OR is is RAPTICAL? HAHAhahaha.

hillbilly
July 17, 2003, 11:15 AM
Beeware, meester song writer......

You weel feel the wrath of the MALL NINJAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hiiiiiiiii-YAH!

hillbilly

Cosmoline
July 17, 2003, 12:15 PM
I hope and pray the "tactical" nonsense runs its course soon. It seems to be played out as a marketing tool, like the ninja nonsense of the early '80's.

Time to get back to old school, with leather boots and big revolvers. Canteens, not weird water packs. Waxed jackets, not some REI nonsense. Cornmeal biscuit, not some "power bar."

brownie0486
July 17, 2003, 12:30 PM
And in this store he had black tactikewl stuff, ei ei oh

With a quack quack here and a quack quack there, here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack quack, old McMcTactical had a store, ei ei oh.

With a tanto here, and a poncho there, here a tanto, there a poncho, everywhere a tactikewl, oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, -------------old mctactikewl had a store, ei ei oh.

Sir Galahad : A sense of parody that happens to be true is always refreshing. Thanks


Brownie

Skunkabilly
July 17, 2003, 12:47 PM
A-R-A-R-O

That's M1A-M1A-O until I move out of Untacticalifornia :banghead:

George Hill
July 17, 2003, 02:15 PM
"...if you don't have a Beretta 92G with carbon fiber grips, sell your Royal Robbins 5.11 Tactical Pants and buy one."

Those must be some very expensive pants.

Henry Bowman
July 17, 2003, 02:19 PM
Don't expect Hanes (owned by Sara Lee Corp. which is very anti-gun rights) to promote tacticality!

4v50 Gary
July 17, 2003, 02:35 PM
Is that why the VC wore black pajamas?

BTW, this reminds me of George's old rant at TFL about "I'm sick of tactical."

Nippy
July 17, 2003, 02:45 PM
You can't fade Buddy Lee

mete
July 17, 2003, 03:53 PM
Does anyone remember the british 'commando' hatchets that were sold ? They were actually WWII RAF hatchets used to cut open aircraft to rescue airmen.

taoshooter
July 17, 2003, 04:08 PM
That was great !!! Glad someone else is tired of tactical. Maybe Hanes will do tactical models with built in holsters and knife holders (in black of course).
Anyway, any chance THR could get a Humor Forum ala BrianEnos.com - gun humor only of course.

prisoner6
July 17, 2003, 04:27 PM
It's a silly place.


It's ok, it's only a model.

Skunkabilly
July 17, 2003, 04:46 PM
What about the British commando sweaters?

Sunray
July 17, 2003, 04:50 PM
If I thought this was a democracy, I'd be voting for that as Posting of the Year.

sm
July 17, 2003, 04:55 PM
Skunk,
Those old sweaters used to be inexpensive. $3-5 from a military surplus under my old Wax cotton jacket kept me warm in the duck blinds and deer stands.

Best investment was a pair of HEAVY wool pants with suspenders. I have no idea what military. but for $4-7 , I'd get a pair to wear OVER my reg pants...Duck blinds and waders, never a chill, with an old wool army blanket under my butt and on my feet I never became cold in a deer stand Wet Wool is still WARM WOOL !

I don't even own any Gortex, still a wax cotton, wool, silk, guy. Burlap for camo, leather for holsters, prefer blue and wood on guns.

Call me a relic,call me what you will
Say I'm old fashioned, say I'm over the hill
Today's music ain't got the same soul
I like that old time rock 'n' roll ---Bob Seger

dleong
July 17, 2003, 06:53 PM
Don't expect Hanes (owned by Sara Lee Corp. which is very anti-gun rights) to promote tacticality!
Ooooohhhh.... fudge brownie-flavored underwear.... Very untactical, but very tasty.

DL

Orbital-Burn
July 17, 2003, 07:25 PM
you guys who "hunt" from deer stands, do you have to have Hunting or Fishing licenses to do your fishing for deer?

willyjixx
July 17, 2003, 07:27 PM
i like my camelback!

i threw away the last nylon holster i had. i have leather boots an holsters.
i wear gortex. an i still use my army ruck.

semi-tactical?




nope..........use what i know works

Sir Galahad
July 17, 2003, 08:57 PM
Other tactical songs: There's this little ditty from a well-known musical--"Tacticalifragilisticexpeealleedocious" no? How about this one (in my best George Jones voice) "Heeee stawped being tacteecuul tewday...they came and took awaaaay his thigh holster mag powch caawmbo..." How about this Toby Keith tune---"I bet you never heard ol' Marshall Dillon say, Miss Kitty did you ever think of runnin' away, joinin' L.A SWAT and wearin' cool black uniforms if I asked ya twice and in tacticallyese....she'da said yes in a perfectly-timed minute, but he never did, he had a tactical limit, he just rode away and ever hung his thigh holster at Kitty's place...I shoulda been more tactical, I shoulda learned to rappel down buildings in body armor...wearin' my Beretta, ridin' a camo ATV on a special op...I shoulda been more tactical...just like a couple guys whose names are classified, singin' those running cadences, whoa, I shulda been more tactical..." no? You like Martina McBride? "This one's for the mall ninjas from 1 to 95, you'll use your special ops training to stay alive..." no?

BryanP
July 17, 2003, 10:42 PM
I have a horrible compulsion to write something truly awful to the tune of "My Favorite Things." I think I'll go lie down until it goes away.

sm
July 17, 2003, 11:07 PM
The meaning of words have changed-some way out of context.
Before paintball...anybody play FLAG? Teams pitted against each other to steal the opposing teams flag? Or Get ones' Flag to a spot on oppositions side? Water balloons, chalk board erasers...or just tackle the sucker! :D

Picture a farm pond, Two teams of 4 guys. You could not go after the 'enemy' if they were in the pond. ( the other teams rules) . So my 3 fellow team members get "tagged". We tagged one of them. Great me against 3. I can see their flag. Its a hot summer day--ah hell. I break cover from the burlap I'm using for cover, haul butt, dive in, swim across, haul butt, up the hill...WE WIN :D

Just made sense to me that going around that pond was nuts...the opposition would lie in wait...humm....straight up the middle (including the pond) -nobody is that crazy are they? :scrutiny:...< raised hand here> :D

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome.

"I've always been crazy...keeps me from going insane"

seeker_two
July 18, 2003, 12:32 AM
http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/archives/~edneckForces.jpg

This is about as tactical as we get out in BFE... (http://excaliburfilms.com/redneck_special_Forces.htm)

Moparmike
July 18, 2003, 02:06 AM
[strong southern accent]

Seein' as how I'm from a Redneck-producin' state and like barbeque, beer, pickup trucks and huntin', and was a big fan of Dale Sr., I would have to say I would like ta' join them loyal patriotic fellers in their quest to erradicate this scurge of our planet. How dare they attack our great nation!?

[/hick accent]

Seriously, no matter how many times I see that pic, I cant help but laugh and agree.
It seems someone forgot to mention the hound dogs that would sniff out 60 year old 6'6" Arab men with dialysis machines hiding in caves. They would be of great help.

:D

Sven
July 18, 2003, 02:20 AM
Tactical ain't about gear - it's about how that gear is deployed.

4 eyed six shooter
July 18, 2003, 02:28 AM
Hey Skunk, I hear they are going to outlaw Tac gear in California. Better move soon before you become a criminal with the stroke of Brown-out Davis's pen. On second thought I think I heard it is only Tac gear larger than size 10 so you may be OK. You cannot wear Black BDU's with Black boots unless you have white sox on and you need a supressor in the seat of the pants to satisify the California air quality board. It must be permanetly affixed to your pants. At least 3 pieces of your gear must be made in the USA or you are charged with being an illegal ninja.
My best to all, John K

Dionysusigma
July 18, 2003, 05:37 AM
I hope and pray the "tactical" nonsense runs its course soon. It seems to be played out as a marketing tool, like the ninja nonsense of the early '80's.
Some of the hype this "'tactical' nonsense" is also from evolution of technology. Don't quote me though--IMO we haven't really made too many advancements since WW2 that lasted, including stuff like caseless ammo.
Time to get back to old school, with leather boots and big revolvers. Canteens, not weird water packs. Waxed jackets, not some REI nonsense. Cornmeal biscuit, not some "power bar."
Big revolvers: Agree to a point...good for reliability and caliber, not so great for capacity

Nippy
July 19, 2003, 03:17 AM
|3ORN 2 |3E TACTICAL


AR locked and loaded
Head out to The HighRoad
Lookin for the some ninjas
And whatever comes our way

Yeah CarbonFiber gonna make it happen
Kydex is the way to goooo
Tactically Fire all yo guns at once
And.. REpell into spaaAAACE

I like Trijicon and Benelli
Quick draw from the thigh holstA
Three gunning with night vision
And putting steel plates 6 feet under

Yeah CarbonFiber gonna make it happen
Kydex is the way to goooo
Tactically Fire all yo guns at once
And.. REppel into spaaAAACE

Like a true ninja ma-an
We were born born to be tactical
We can spend so much...
or at least we can tryyyyy

Boooorn to be taAActicaaal
Boooorn to be taAActicaaal

::::2TAC4U:::: <---- should be your licence plate:D

PATH
July 19, 2003, 03:26 AM
Nippy,

I think that song is brilliant. I am the most untactical fella going. Old Maine hunting boots and my beat up clothes. I guess the question for most is "IS tactical practical"? For most of us I htink the answer would be......:confused: :neener:

Skunkabilly
July 19, 2003, 04:01 AM
Nippy when we go to Indiana we're gonna record that with Frory...

:D

Nippy
July 19, 2003, 04:17 AM
:).. I actually had to look at Sir Galahads song to figure out what was considered "tactical". So I wouldn't know what is practical and what is tactical. IMO I think training with what you got leads to pratical. LA SWAT has the "tatical" stuff, and are they pratical? Yeah you bet!! But because they train with it. I have a kydex holster and I train with it, if I put on a more "practical lookingl" holster it would not make me more practical :D

and if you're wondering. I DO NOT think if I put on all what LA SWAT puts on I will be like LA SWAT. I will be Nippy with less mobility but more CDI hahaha :D

Cosmoline
July 19, 2003, 02:44 PM
Some of the hype this "'tactical' nonsense" is also from evolution of technology. Don't quote me though--IMO we haven't really made too many advancements since WW2 that lasted, including stuff like caseless ammo."

Yeah, IMHO, 90% of it is pure marketing rather than actual innovation. If it's expensive enough and looks "mil-spec", someone will buy it. But I'd put one of my beat-up Opinel knives against your average Ramo knive any day of the week.

BlkHawk73
July 19, 2003, 06:52 PM
That was awsome!:D :D At least I know I'm not the only person tired ofeverything "needing" to be tactical. Hey, is dark beer considered tactical too? :neener:



:p Anyone wanna come over and help me move my "bug-out-bags" and ghillie suits into the bomb shelter, err...I mean underground tactical command center? :neener:

Browns Fan
July 19, 2003, 08:25 PM
That does it! I' m scheduling all of you guys for remedial sensitivity training! :neener:

Skunkabilly
July 19, 2003, 10:20 PM
At least I know I'm not the only person tired ofeverything "needing" to be tactical. Hey, is dark beer considered tactical too?

Only if the cans are non-reflective and either black or OD. The cans must be either steel or polymer, as aluminum cans have problems with longevity.

Sven
July 20, 2003, 03:33 PM
tac·ti·cal
Pronunciation Key (tkt-kl)
adj.

1. Of, relating to, or using tactics.
2.
1. Of, relating to, used in, or involving military or naval operations that are smaller, closer to base, and of less long-term significance than strategic operations.
2. Carried out in support of military or naval operations: tactical bombing.
3. Characterized by adroitness, ingenuity, or skill.

tacti·cal·ly adv.

Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.



Tactics:



tac·tics
Pronunciation Key (tktks)
n.

1.
1. (used with a sing. verb) The military science that deals with securing objectives set by strategy, especially the technique of deploying and directing troops, ships, and aircraft in effective maneuvers against an enemy: Tactics is a required course at all military academies.
2. (used with a pl. verb) Maneuvers used against an enemy: Guerrilla tactics were employed during most of the war.
2. (used with a sing. or pl. verb) A procedure or set of maneuvers engaged in to achieve an end, an aim, or a goal.
Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.



Read it carefully.

dsgrntldPW
July 20, 2003, 05:45 PM
Would one be considered as too tactical if they have Houge rubber overmolded toilet seats in each outhouse? If so does anyone know where I can get a couple leather wrapped seats? The pebble finish on the Hogues chaps my "hide" a bit too much.

Gawd, it's tough being totally tactical.

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