[telewinz]

In five minutes you will receive a VALID phone call from a US General asking you to render your "special" skill(s) in a life or death mission that may last up to a month. You will be compensated with a million dollar life insurance policy, all medical and disability benefits, a good government job waiting for you, and $20,000 at the end of the mission. An Army sedan is parked outside your home waiting to take you to the helo-pad. You have 10 seconds to make your decision, if you don't accept they will have to take a less qualified volunteer putting the chances of mission success at great risk. No more information is available, your decision is.....

[Spackler]

I don't have any "special skills", unless they're looking for a disc jockey for AFRTS.

[Stevie-Ray]

Me neither unless they're looking for a lounge chair jockey that FARTS.

[Moparmike]

I would go, as long as my affairs got taken care of now. I have to make a car payment tomorrow, and my boss would need to know why I am not showing up for work.

Beyond that, I would. I dont know what skills I might have, unless they need me to do something computer related or drive really fast (in an orange '69 Charger with a horn that plays Dixie looking for a bush so that I can leap the nearest creek...:rolleyes: )

[Bruce H]

What possible use could they have for an over fifty, out of shape, neanderthal like myself? Must not be very important.

[Ala Dan]

Greeting's All-

Since my current position of security consultant is
going to play out on 31 AUG 03; if duty calls, I'm your
man!

However, if I'm not selected I think I will stay home
and sit on the front poarch with a tall glass of ice tea!:uhoh:

Wait a minute, my other half say's "NO WAY JOSE"; I
don't want to have too look at your sorry --- all day,
every day!:D Guess I will have to find another job
after all?:rolleyes:

Best Wishes,
Ala Dan, N.R.A. Life Member

[seeker_two]

If the US government needs MY special talents, then we're all probably doomed anyway... :scrutiny:

Of course--if the price is right--I could be persuaded... :evil:

[David Park]

a good government job waiting for you oxymoron

:rolleyes: :p

[Schuey2002]

That General of yours would have to be making that phone call from within this county, otherwise he wouldn't get through at my place.. :rolleyes: :banghead: :banghead: :cuss:

[Standing Wolf]

A secret government mission for a semi-professional curmudgeon? Oh, boy!

[AZTOY]

I'm leaving for Basic training in Sept, so want the hell:D



Sign me up!!:D

[hansolo]

I watched that classic cold-war comedy for the umpteenth time last weekend...it had been about ten years and I'd forgotten what absolute genious's created this.:evil:

[C.R.Sam]

No more information is available

And therein has lain a rub in the past, on occaision.

Lack of details in the invitation has, sometimes, kept some really qualified folks from coming back in.

Tis a connundrum. Details too early a security breach. Not enough details and you don't get what you want.

Sometimes, tho overage and out of shape, a person's special skills and past experience make them valuable assetts, even if only for training the young bucks that are goin to do whatever is planned.

Sam

[Chris Rhines]

Uhhh.... No.

- Chris

[Wanderer]

If the gov. needs my 'special' skills, they are saying it in the fashion of "Look at Special Ed, he rides the short bus!". But really, I already am the less qualified guy already. I'd do it, because if they are phoning me, it's not that serious a threat.

[esheato]

Duty HAS called and I am already signed up for a lot less....You can bet I'm going to accept.

esheato...

[Alan Smithiee]

I've lived in this country for 10 years now, I certanly owe that much. out the door I go (with a note to the wife)

[Gewehr98]

He's gonna have to take it up with another general, and get my current deployment orders changed. ;)

[Mike Irwin]

It depends.

Is it against the enemies of the United States?

Or is it an action directed against citizens of the United States?

[sm]

CRSam speaks wisdom as usual.
Mike raises a good question.

I'm not special, there again if something I know is of use-- if not against US citizens, Constitution, BOR...I'll go in a heartbeat. Don't need a million dollar policy, just take care of mom, and a couple of close people. Everybody else that shares my name ain't family...they made that decison. I have nobody but me, so best I go and let those that do have family ties, take care of 'em.

[S_O_Laban]

I'm in. Of course I'm already a federal employee who on occasion semi-risks his life to keep the lights water heat and AC on :D in this facility. As far as special skills... I can sleep in a chair pretty good...:D

[Ian]

No. I have better things to do than help the United States government. Especially when they threaten me with a government job if I help them out. ;)

[Duncan Idaho]

I'll go. Age and treachery always overcomes youth and skill. If it is against enemies of this country, it will be my pleasure to do whatever I can to send them to whomever they pray to. If it turns out to be against citizens of the U.S., I would try to do what ever I could to sabotage whatever the "mission" was.

[4v50 Gary]

Course I'll go. My special skills? I can burn down the rainforest in a heartbeat. Why, I churn out so much paper they're razing hundreds of acres everyday to keep up with me and paper mills are named in my honor.
Container ships to Japan are loaded exclusively with paper I've gone through.

[Skunkabilly]

What does the Army need banjo pickers for?

[telewinz]

It would be rough but I could be the male version of Mata Hari (females only please), I've been in training for decades:D I almost never cry afterwards anymore...oh well I least most of the time I don't.

[New_comer]

telewinz,


You've just seen "Armageddon", haven't you? :neener:


C'mon... hmmm??? :scrutiny: :evil:

[Tamara]

I don't sign contracts without reading them.

Not with anyone.

[Majic]

My response would be ...
"As long as I get to sit right beside you".

I still believe that generals should lead the way into battle, so after you sir. Cause if you aint going then you must know something that I should.

[KRAUTGUNNER]

Everybody has to die sooner or later.

Why not have some fun, before it's curtains for me?!? :evil:

[Sean Smith]

Up to a couple months ago, technically they wouldn't have had to ask me, they could have just told me... and paid me at the crappy O-3 rate I was getting before. But now that even my Inactive Reserve commitment is expired, I'd hit them up for more cash.

:evil:

[TheEgg]

If I got this call I would certainly go and use my "special skills". But they would have to tell me ahead of time how many people would be at the BBQ so I could smoke enough ribs and brisket for the whole crew!:D

[Stetson_CO]

Oh yeah, there must be a UNIX server which isnt processing the print jobs sent to it. Im there for it.

Well, really, Id go.


c):{

[bogie]

My "special skills" involved shooting people.

Didn't worry if they were on my own side or not.

I'd be happy to do it again...

Former Speedy Four Bogie
U.S. Harmy Public Affairs Photojournalist and DINFOS Trained Killer
"That's the fact, Jack!"

[Smoke]

What does the Army need banjo pickers for?

They don't. They need ASIAN banjo pickers, for stealth. No one would suspect an asian to be packing. (packing a banjo, anyway):)


I'm in. I'm middle aged, middle management, over weight. Its time for a mid life crisis, so an interesting covert challenge might be welcome. I could use the $20k, they can keep the job. And if it is in the best interest of the USA I'm there.

Could I have the foreign made convertible and the 20 something blonde to complete the "secret squirrel" persona?

[Duncan Idaho]

"secret squirrel"Semper Solidatus! Semper Sciurus!*






*Always Secret! Always Squirrel! :D

[Ol' Badger]

Hell, I'll do it for free. I want a Mini-Gun like in T-2 thou!

And my contact deep inside occupied territory is a Hot Swed about 6 feet tall!

And a Zippo that doubles as a Flame Thrower! Yup! That'll do.

[TearsOfRage]

Me? Work FOR the US government? :confused:

[RocketMan]

If'n you ain't tellin' me more, I ain't agoin'.

Sorry, but I need a little more information. Who we going up against, and why?


Ol' Badger, be careful:

"And my contact deep inside occupied territory is a Hot Swed about 6 feet tall!"

And his name is Sven, and he's hot because he just finished a six mile run.
Another case where one needs more information. :D

[Ol' Badger]

SVEN :barf: :barf: :barf:



More like Heidi or Ogal:D

[Correia]

They must need a very special Accountant. Drop me behind enemy lines, let me go over their accounts, maybe build some spreadsheets. I'm your man...



Sven! LMAO! :D

[goon]

I am 22 and in college pulling around a 3.9.
Getting to school is my only real responsibility. If I had to drop that today, I could still pick up later and do just as well.
I have no real bills. My car insurance is good until November, and I bought both of my vehicles with money I saved.
No payments.
As much as I hate the system that runs the military, I would go.
Even if it was some plan that ran against what I hold dear, I would still be there to influence the outcome.
Unfortunately, I would probably be the less experienced second choice rather than the first name on the list.

I would also stipulate that I would be able to purchase and own any full automatic weapon, hand held rocket launcher and explosive I could afford.
No BS and no paperwork.
If it is that important, they can grant me that one courtesy.

[bountyhunter]

I suspect I would be accused of hijacking the thread if I pointed out that the definition of a "true patriot" is not necessarily a person who blindly follows the commands of the government when it barks an order. I think that has been highlighted recently after villifying of those who said they did not believe Bush was telling the truth about Iraq's nukes and thought he was lying to stampede us into war. Turns out they were right. I would fight in an instant if my country or family was threatened. I would not fight over oil or to buttress up a politicians ratings when he is surrounded by an economy which is in a death spiral and having his nose tweaked by a camel-riding Saudi who disappeared despite our Military's total efforts to find him. I would happily empty a full magazine into Bin Laden, but I'm not buying Bush's strategy that beating up any Arab Bad Guy is the same as beating up the one that is killing out citizens.

[Dilettante]

Bountyhunter -- we can't go after the Saudis until Iraq's oilfields are producing up to capacity. Keep your fingers crossed...

[4570Rick]

My government needs a 52-year-old male, proficient in the art of smoking spareribs and briskets low and slow? I’ll do it, but only if they let me keep my dry rub recipes and BBQ sauce recipes secret.:D



How do I redact on this computer. :uhoh: