[sm]

Here’s to the girl with little red shoes
She likes her Classics and likes her Bowies
She lost her toothpick, but that’s no sin
Victorinox is sending her another one in





Here’s to the gal from Nantucket
That had no range bag for her shells, just a bucket
She went to shoot Skeet
Could not be beat
And the folks watching her shoot said “how neat”.

[Technosavant]

This man once loved his Glock
1911 fans called it a crock.
The whole thing was moot
Since when they went out to shoot
A revolver guy quite cleaned their clock.

The anti does not like rifles evil or black
And about other guns he talks much smack
He keeps fighting for bans
to keep guns from your hands
But he'll be food when the zombies attack.

[1KPerDay]

sm, neither is a Limerick, but nice try. :)

[sm]

1KPerDay,
Yes I know, still I figured I'd just jump on out there and make a fool of myself so the smart folks would post good ones.
*strategy-n-tactics*

[Tribal]

While cleaning my old .22
I scraped off some of the blue
The problem I think
I've had too much to drink
So to stop I guess it's my cue

[Tribal]

Spent bucks on a hard-chrome P7
Thought I'd died and done gone to heaven
The grip was too weird
And my shots were quite queered
So I swapped for a 1911

(true story)

[Rokyudai]

A dad named tim and a son named ben
Ventured out into the woods, I don't know when
He said, 'son don't take for granted for what is said
one day it could save you and yours and keep you fed.

A bullet can never be called back...
and there's no such thing as oops
Take only what you need and carry out what didn't become poops :neener:

Find time to walk trails
Make time to spin tales
Take only what you need and carry out.... ;)

[zxcvbob]

Change the title to "Gun poetry" and you'll be good to go.

Your second one was close, maybe change the second line to something like "who kept shotgun shells in a bucket"

(I'm trying to think of a gun haiku, but I'm awful at that stuff :))

[Red Tornado]

Since I can't tote a Kalashnikov
though .45 users may scoff,
you may not be keen
on my 9x18
but I'm keeping my Makarov.

RT

[Red Tornado]

sm,
I believe the second one is quite the limerick, just cleaned up for Art's grammaw. ;)
RT

[1KPerDay]

"Which is better? AR or AK?"
Is a question that noobs often say,
But it's not quite as fun
As the "What's the best gun?"
Of which twelve threads will pop up today.

But the truly best threads, 'fore they're locked,
Are the "1911 or Glock?"
So much insight, such passion,
Such intarweb clashin',
From noobies with heads made of rocks.

:D

[3KillerBs]

(I'm trying to think of a gun haiku, but I'm awful at that stuff )

Mark III perfection
Making small holes in small X
Don't disassemble.

I'm not much on limericks but I'll come back if I think of one.

[sm]

See? On a family friendly forum
One can use "Nantucket"
In a firearm related poem
And not get shot by Musket
By a Grammaw insistent on decorum.





The price of gas does totally suck
Downright expensive to put gas in my truck
This makes going shootin'
Expensive you're darn tootin'!
But I have pests out back in my yard
And with a slingshot I can make 'em retard.

[1KPerDay]

Mark III perfection
Making small holes in small X
Don't disassemble.
LOL :D

[3KillerBs]

Got one.

An arthritic, old lady named Kay,
Bought a tip-up Beretta one day.
A mugger named Max,
Got stopped in his tracks,
Because Kay didn’t make easy prey.

[1KPerDay]

Good one.

[zxcvbob]

Two keepers! I think we've found our Poet Laureate.

(That "Don't disassemble" cracks me up)

[3KillerBs]

Thank you.

[LWGN]

zxcvbob,

I'm trying to think of a gun haiku, but I'm awful at that stuff

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

This is absolutely classic!!!!

[PTK]

Sung to Don't You Just Know It by Huey Smith

Stopped at the store just off my track
Can't I just buy it?
I can't believe it's just on the rack
Can't I just buy it?

That pretty rifle just begs to be bought
Can't I just buy it?
Blue steel and walnut, it's even in thirty-ought
Can't I just buy it?

Man oh man it's the right size and all
Can't I just buy it?
But I have no money, and boy did I just bawl
Can't I just buy it?

Down in the dumps, walking away
Can't I just buy it?
I remebered that magic called lay-a-way!
Can't I just buy it?



Maybe not a poem, but still... I'm not good at this, but it's fun anyway. :D

[gunshow]

My fav http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/4344/roflwithfeetcv2.gifThis man once loved his Glock
1911 fans called it a crock.
The whole thing was moot
Since when they went out to shoot
A revolver guy quite cleaned their clock.

The anti does not like rifles evil or black
And about other guns he talks much smack
He keeps fighting for bans
to keep guns from your hands
But he'll be food when the zombies attack."Which is better? AR or AK?"
Is a question that noobs often say,
But it's not quite as fun
As the "What's the best gun?"
Of which twelve threads will pop up today.

But the truly best threads, 'fore they're locked,
Are the "1911 or Glock?"
So much insight, such passion,
Such intarweb clashin',
From noobies with heads made of rocks.

[LWGN]

Gun limericks? What a blast!

Here's mine... (and yes, I have a lovely little Bersa.)

I find that the Bersa .380
is a very nice gun for a lady.
You won’t make a blunder
if you buy a Thunder
to protect you from folks who are shady.

[Doggy Daddy]

As I stuck my new Glock in my belt
I recoiled from the pain that I felt.
The trigger had snagged
On my jeans, worn all sagged.
That'll leave me one Hell of a welt!

[Brian Dale]

I missed it until LWGN clued me in:
.
I'm trying to think
Of a gun haiku, but I'm
Awful at that stuffExcellent! :D

Here's an old THR gun haiku:

Model Eleven
Knows the bright morning cornfields.
Pheasants call to me.

[LWGN]

PTK,

It has rhyme, it has meter, it has a structured form...who says it's not a poem? Many, many song lyrics are also poems. And as long as you are having fun writing and we're having fun reading, I don't think we need to worry about what anyone else thinks. I know I am having a great time reading this thread and seeing the creativity, humor, and talent that is here on THR.

[zxcvbob]

I wish I was that clever, but it was just an accident that it had 17 syllables. :) (Maybe I did it subconsciously but I doubt it)

[Brian Dale]

I think that the term for this one is, "doggerel:"

A man who was new on The High Road
posted, "What should I use to shoot HornedToad?"
We replied, "It don't matter;
The 'toad' you will splatter
with anything; Hey--do you reload?"

[LWGN]

Brian,

I personally think your poem lives up to the literary standards expected of the Limerick perfectly.

:D

[Grey54956]

I prefer haiku -

"From my cold, dead hands...'"
Not a chance Brady Campaign.
Have to find me first.

[Mr White]

I love my Garand.
Eight rounds then you hear the ping.
Load another clip.

[LWGN]

Targets are circles -
timeless, eternal. Bullets
pierce this illusion.

[3KillerBs]

This is fun now that I'm started:

A swaggering fellow named Duff
Thought gangsters were admirably tough
Then he tried to rape Clara
Who said “NO!” with a Para
Now Duff’s had enough of that stuff.



Mighty .44 mag,
“Feel lucky?” gone with disco.
Behold, Desert Eagle.



A student at William and Mary
Said “Guns on the campus are scary!”
Cho opened her eyes
To the anti-gun lies
Now she lobbies for her right to carry.

[Huddog]

a 1911 I always did want
and a few I did find
but since I alway mind
my wife who said don't
It was a Father's Day gift that was fine.

OK its a bad poem but it was a great Father's day.

[gunshow]

How do you haiku?
Doesn't have to rhyme does it?
Vote from the rooftops.

[LWGN]

Mr. White,

That's a wonderful haiku!!!!

[briansp82593]

take your wheelgun
aim to hit
oops, your taurus is a P.O.S. :D
really, a m85 i shot at 7 had trouble staying within 12 inches, and it wasnt me

[PTK]

Late last year we had a thread on gun related Christmas songs... I dug this one up.

God rest ye merry Armalites, in two two three or not
Remember mags and ammo, for getting barrels hot
While punching holes in targets, small groups are often got

O piles of cases and fun, cases and fun,
O piles of cases and fun.

[Sir Aardvark]

there's no need to aim
my 9 holds seventeen rounds
I'll just spray and pray

A 9 might expand
but a 45 won't shrink
I just need 8 rounds

shot placement is key
no caliber war for me
.22 is fine


although Glocks have no soul
they still have a role
in "Hate" threads on THR
the kaBOOM! may scar
after it's done healing
leaving you feeling
a bit of fright and scare
that you just shot exploding Tupperware!

[LWGN]

3KillerBs, PTK, Sir Aardvark, and everyone else who has posted their poetry,

Thank you!

You have no idea how much I have been enjoying reading these. Every time I see a new poem posted, I feel like a kid getting ready to open a birthday present - and so far, there hasn't been a single itchy wool sweater in the box!

[Quoheleth]

"Safety"
Shooting is fun;
Guns are great.
Use the 4 rules
And avoid heaven's gate.


"What Do I Buy?"
A frequent post that is written
Is "By shooting, I have been smitten;
So what should I buy -
And please tell me why -
That is what I should be gettin'?"

"Economic Stimulus"
My IRS check came in the mail
So off I went to find a sale.
A new-in-box Springer
Was a three-ninty-five winner
Now I have a new gun-buying tale.

"Choices"
Whether a gun made by Ruger or Colt,
Whether operates by lever or bolt,
Load jacket or cast,
Shoot slow or shoot fast,
Just be safe and don't be a dolt.

Q

[xring44]

while shooting groups from the bench
my 5th shot strayed from a flinch

I cursed under my breath
I'll flinch to my death

My nerves already frayed
for the best equipment I'd payed

only one shot from a screamer
so I packed it all away, and bought a 1911 that day
I found the fun I'd lost along the way

I believe I'll go shoot my .45 today

[Joe Cool]

I go with my wife to the range,
Though neighbors think it quite strange.
She puts lots of holes in the X ring
And makes that 1911 really do sing
Now to best her I really much change!