Amazingly stupid Anti-OC article


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Zedicus
August 9, 2008, 01:33 PM
http://www.boiseweekly.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A316353

AUGUST 6, 2008
Openly Scary
Just how stupid do I think you am?

BY BILL COPE

"Badge? You ever noticed how the more time goes by, the more our society is dominated by the stupidest people in it?"

Bob slowly, deliberately, lowered the ear of corn on which he'd been gnawing to his plate and leaned back in his chair. "Is this why you asked me to dinner, Cope? So's you could test drive your latest brain belch on me?"

Darn. He had me figured out. That's exactly why I'd invited him to dinner. I can't get him to hang around long enough for a decent conversation any other way. I don't think he likes me much, but he's a pushover for free food.

"Yeah. Well. Sorta. It's just that these 'open carry' clowns got me to thinking about it. You heard about them ... those simpletons who put on that big show by going to the zoo with their rods hanging out? So I've been counting up the ways the morons among us are defining how we live anymore. Don't you think that's worth doing?"

"You're not thinking of writing another column on those dumb turd gun crackers, are you? Cope, you might as well try to convince a tree stump to dance a tango as try to change what their little reptilian gray cells are telling them."

"Well first of all, Bob, it's not the dumb turd gun crackers I'm trying to convince. It's the rest of the people who sit around on their fat apathy and let the dumb turd gun crackers get away with their dumb turdery. And secondly, it's not just them I'm talking about."

"Is this going to take a long time? 'Cause if it is, I believe I'll have another ear of corn while you're blabbing."

"Like, you know why we can't have a frosty beer while we're floating down the river? It's all because of the dimwits who were using it as another excuse to get even stupider than they are when they're sober. The whole population has to be treated like Nazarene teenagers because the morons always have to take things too far. I'm right about that, aren't I? Morons won't control themselves, so we all end up getting controlled along with them."

"You'd better not say 'Nazarene teenagers' when you write it out, Cope. I have it on good authority that over in Nampa, they already think you're a degenerate scuzz."

"Yeah, well, I know I'm right. We all end up having to abide by rules that wouldn't be necessary if not for the below-par crowd. Just like all of us end up paying for the warnings on things like ladders and lawn mowers, just because a handful of people are so stupid they can't figure out for themselves what not to do with ladders and lawn mowers. And it goes on and on. Gays have to live with the idiocy of the loudest mouth feebs in the religious community, and we're all paying through the nose for gas because the SUV-driving dopes didn't have the sense to see where they were taking us, and the whole world has to wait for the cretins to catch up on the global warming thing, and ...

"'Scuse me for interrupting, but pass me another stuffed pepper there, would ya'? And then explain how this has anything to do with those dumb turd 'open carry' gun crackers. Who, by the way, would make pretty much the same argument you're making ... that they shouldn't have to abide by the rules set up to control the behavior of people even stupider than they are. And that's something else to consider, Cope ... that no matter how stupid you think someone is, there's always somebody stupider."

"I thought about that, too, Bob, but here's the deal. They insist the law shouldn't tell them they can't flash their pieces anywhere and everywhere they want, all because they're so worried about that teeny-tiny, eensy-weensy fraction of people who are dumber than they are. Just like those sloppy drunks who won't behave themselves floating the river, they have to push everything to the ridiculous. They're not happy enough that they can own a gun. Now they want to have it hanging off their butts wherever they go. National parks ... college campuses ... Boise's zoo. So what's next? Do you and I and all the smart people have to start carrying guns just to stay one step ahead of whichever gun-toting retard decides he's smart enough to decide when someone needs to be shot or not? Get what I mean? It's like our whole society is running downhill like water and settling in the lowest possible IQ level. What d'ya' think?"

Bob looked positively contemplative as he ripped through another run of plump kernels. "Needs more salt, that's what I think. Would you throw that shaker on over here, Cope. And the pepper, too."

"C'mon, Badge. Am I right or not?"

"Yes, Billy. You're right. And anyone with the sense God gave a cucumber knows it. But you know how it'll play out as well as I do. The dumb turd gun crackers will claim that having pistols everywhere you turn cuts down on crime. They maintain two million crimes are prevented a year 'cause so many ambulatory dildos like them had gats in their pants. And pass those cucumbers over, if you would."

"I know what they say. But it's just made-up malarkey they pass around to each other and hope nobody challenges it. It's like saying George Bush can control volcanoes, since not even one volcano has erupted in the United States as long as he's been in the White House. That's the kind of logic only the most illogical would dare spout, and if you ask me, it only goes to show how stupid they really are ... thinking everybody else is stupid enough to believe them. And besides, I could just as easily make the claim that all the crimes that were committed with a gun wouldn't have been committed if nimrods like them weren't always making it sound like you're some kind of stud when you know your way around a damn gun. It's all about the prevailing atmosphere, Bob. When the stupid people control the atmosphere, everybody ends up stupid."

He wiped a coating or two of vegetable residue off his cheeks and settled back. My guess is he was done eating. "Cope, I gotta tell ya' ... I can't help but think that for you to butt your head against those idiots over and over, knowing you're not getting anywhere ... well, that kind of makes you look stupid."

"May be, Badge. You're probably right. But the way I see it, if I can cause even one gun nut ... even one ... to pop a gasket like a pissed-off party balloon, then it was worth the sacrifice."

http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/7903/pukegs7.gif

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Standing Wolf
August 9, 2008, 01:53 PM
...if I can cause even one gun nut ... even one ... to pop a gasket like a pissed-off party balloon, then it was worth the sacrifice.

When did high school kids start writing newspaper columns?

Treo
August 9, 2008, 01:55 PM
Sounded satirical to me

Soybomb
August 9, 2008, 01:56 PM
In general I've found that the more one boasts about how smart they are and how dumb others are, the weaker their skills of categorization. In this particular case the write briefly mentions and dismisses statistics without saying why they can be dismissed but doesn't run short on "turd, retard, moron, or dumb". Pick your battles, sometimes your enemy makes himself look too bad to bother with.

TCB in TN
August 9, 2008, 02:02 PM
Me thinks the adult beverage doth flow freeing in that house!

It was one of the most poorly written pcs, I can recall reading!

Realbigo
August 9, 2008, 02:11 PM
I didn't see one cogent fact. It seemed to me like someone who was very impressed with himself that he could manage to write an article in a stereotypical blue-collar idiom. I for one, am unimpressed in all ways imaginable.

See, other peoples can rite all smarty like if'n they wants too. :p

Bobarino
August 9, 2008, 02:27 PM
not much one can say about this person, or article that is all that "High Road". i guess we could start with just how elitist and uninformed the person is. even the volcano comment is inaccurate. Mt. St. Helens had a series of small eruptions from Sept 2004 to just recently. Kasatochi in Alaska just erupted. Okmok, also in AK has been erupting since July 12th and Cleveland in AK erupted July 21. i really can't comment on his remarks about open carry or his opinion of those who do without going low road.



Bobby

CrawdaddyJim
August 9, 2008, 02:41 PM
I can understand why he has to pay for his company at dinner. And why Bob doesn't stick around when Cope starts "brain belching".

The editor that let this pass should get a 10 minute swirley in a bus station toilet.

Jim

quatin
August 9, 2008, 02:44 PM
Also, I want to add.

the nose for gas because the SUV-driving dopes didn't have the sense to see where they were taking us

My SUV has better MPG than some 4 door sedans. I've had a Chevy Malibu that had the same MPG as my SUV. What about luxury/sport type sedans? Their MPG is horrid compared to what you can get out of a compact and more on par on what you get with a mid-size SUV. Another generalization....another mistake.

jrfoxx
August 9, 2008, 02:52 PM
I really hope that was satire, because if not, it's one of the most offensive things I have ever seen from the anti-OC crowd.Is this guy supposed to be a professional journalist? as in, someone pays this guy to write crap like this? Geeze, guess they'll hire ANYONE as a writer anymore.Used to be you had to have a degree, or at least some copetant writing, research, and communication skills.

MIL-DOT
August 9, 2008, 03:10 PM
I couldn't make it though the whole thing. I must be a dumb turd gun cracker. In fact.......I'm sure of it !!:D

texas bulldog
August 9, 2008, 03:22 PM
the thread title nails it...amazingly stupid.

yeti
August 9, 2008, 03:23 PM
Another dumb turd, gun nut, cracker, checking in to agree, this guy is full of beans.

Nolo
August 9, 2008, 03:29 PM
Ummm...
Wow.
You can't fix stupid.
Hopefully he'll "stupid" his way out of the gene pool.

Leanwolf
August 9, 2008, 06:28 PM
JRFOXX - "I really hope that was satire, because if not, it's one of the most offensive things I have ever seen from the anti-OC crowd.Is this guy supposed to be a professional journalist? as in, someone pays this guy to write crap like this?"

Nope, it was definitely not satire. I've been living in Boise, Idaho, for more than ten years. I used to read the BOISE WEEKLY "newspaper" off and on when I first moved here. The "B.W." is one of those extremely left wing "alternative" weekly rags that is actually a small town wannabee LOS ANGELES WEEKLY or N.Y'S. THE VILLAGE VOICE, etc.

Cope has long been the BOISE WEEKLY'S Number One left wing columnist. I've read a fair number of Bill Cope's diatribes castigating virtually everything that is not in line with his far left political ideology. As one can see from the above article, his main style is still locked into the style of the late 1960's college students who wrote anti-establishment screeds for college alternative left wing newspapers, or radical pamphlets.

His writing methods are, as one can see, rudeness, scatalogical insults, supreme arrogance, and contempt for anyone who disagrees with his left wing ideology. Cope thinks that he is so superior to "the unwashed" and so supremely intelligent, that only the elite leftists can truly appreciate his snide but powerful insight.

As for making a living writing a column once a week for the BOISE WEEKLY, well, I don't know what they pay their favortie columinst but Bill Cope's day job is mowing lawns for a living.

FWIW.

L.W.

Tyris
August 9, 2008, 06:42 PM
"Yeah. Well. Sorta. It's just that these 'open carry' clowns got me to thinking about it. You heard about them ... those simpletons who put on that big show by going to the zoo with their rods hanging out? So I've been counting up the ways the morons among us are defining how we live anymore. Don't you think that's worth doing?"

Seemed to have worked for the gay community. Now we have open and blatant homosexuality being pushed through all the media channels, judicial system and schools.

Hopefully a little of liberal's own medicine with open carry will broaden some minds, or force them all onto the open air prison-island known as New York City.

-T

Crunker1337
August 9, 2008, 06:46 PM
When did high school kids start writing newspaper columns?

Why, got anything against high-school students? Are we, due to our occupations, unqualified to write newspaper columns? Is every newspaper columnist more qualified to write than one of select few high school students?

Tyris
August 9, 2008, 06:51 PM
As one can see from the above article, his main style is still locked into the style of the late 1960's college students who wrote anti-establishment screeds for college alternative left wing newspapers, or radical pamphlets.

Heh. What could be more anti-establishment than open carry?

-T

3KillerBs
August 9, 2008, 07:03 PM
I couldn't get past the 3rd paragraph.

If he ever graduated from any form of class in composition and/or writing his teachers/professors have failed in their professional duty to issue F's to people who write with that level of "skill".

Judicator
August 9, 2008, 08:44 PM
The part I liked best was the projectile vomiting smiley at the end.:barf:

gp911
August 9, 2008, 10:08 PM
Dang Cope, you like yerself so much yew dun created yer own friend that talks the way yew thank blue collar non-college-edjumacated folks done talk. I mean shucks Cope, *swigs a Pabst*, y'all act like anybody needs a gun besides them badge-totin' folks on the TV box! *burps* While I'm jawin' Cope, y'all ever seen Faust? Bang-up play, even gots the debbil hisself innit. Gotta go back to chewin' cud and eyeballin' the Hooters girls now, maybe I'll gets some schoolin' someway somehow Cope, then I'll be as learn-ed as you all.

It takes all kinds I guess.

gp911

Standing Wolf
August 9, 2008, 10:36 PM
Why, got anything against high-school students? Are we, due to our occupations, unqualified to write newspaper columns? Is every newspaper columnist more qualified to write than one of select few high school students?

Hm. I believe I'm going to have to concede your point and step sideways.

I was thinking of my own writerly skills as a high school student, which weren't remarkably well developed, to say nothing of my logical skills. Realistically speaking, I have to suppose there are high school students today who both think and write far better than I did at that same age.

That said™, the "article" reminded me quite a bit of the "writing" an acquaintance did in our junior year of high school: long on energy, short on thought, and ultimately trite.

That said again™, she might remember my stuff about the same way.

Monkeybear
August 9, 2008, 11:16 PM
I can understand why he has to pay for his company at dinner.

Could not have said it better myself.

Wish I could post something about the article but it seems to be mostly name calling and back patting at how much smarter people who agree with him are. No facts to refute.

Snapping Twig
August 10, 2008, 02:04 AM
People hate in others what they most hate in themselves.

He's projecting - and I'm being kind here.

RaspberrySurprise
August 10, 2008, 04:36 AM
Sigh.
If that man had used any other racial pejorative as often as he used the word cracker he'd never need to get a colon screening because he could ask the lawyers he'd be picking out of his backside for the rest of his life. But slamming whitey is ok, oh well it's not the least of his articles failings just the one that stuck out the most to me.

So I've been counting up the ways the morons among us are defining how we live anymore.
Sadly there is more than a grain of truth to this statement.

FieroCDSP
August 10, 2008, 06:29 AM
His writing methods are, as one can see, rudeness, scatalogical insults, supreme arrogance, and contempt for anyone who disagrees with his left wing ideology. Cope thinks that he is so superior to "the unwashed" and so supremely intelligent, that only the elite leftists can truly appreciate his snide but powerful insight.


Sounds like he could lose a battle of wits with a stuffed Iguana. Someone needs to learn that a guy like this should not be heard, if only for the reason that no one's listening after the first sentence.

halfbreed808
August 10, 2008, 06:55 AM
"Stupid is as stupid does." Forrest Gump
What a MORON!!!!:barf:

Owens
August 10, 2008, 07:02 AM
Can't fix stupid.

'nuff said.

Navy_Guns
August 11, 2008, 12:21 PM
Um, was that the dramatic dialog prefacing one of the uncomfortable love scenes in a recent movie?

nplant
August 11, 2008, 01:07 PM
Best thing we could do is to write in, and congratulate him on his very funny article. Seeing as how I'm not FROM Boise, I wouldn't necessarily KNOW that he's not writing tongue in cheek....

RobNDenver
August 11, 2008, 01:15 PM
I have to agree that this is lousy satire, or really poor prose. Most of Colorado permits open carry, but I just don't get why anyone would want to openly carry in an urban or exurban setting.

I have the right to wear a T-Shirt that says "F(&& You" or worse, but I know that it would be upsetting or frightening to people I come in contact with. If I am in the field hunting, or hiking in forests (not national parks) I am less concerned about the possibility that I am going to unnerve another outdoors type, but in the supermarket, or at a gas station that is a distinct possibility.

I guess I just don't want the stares or hassle so I keep my hardware concealed.

Happiness Is A Warm Gun
August 11, 2008, 01:36 PM
Most of Colorado permits open carry, but I just don't get why anyone would want to openly carry in an urban or exurban setting.

I don't really see the point in large caliber handguns.
I don't really see the point in hunting.
I don't really see the point in rap music.
I don't really see the point in concealing (hiding) a weapon like it is something to be ashamed of.

ZeSpectre
August 11, 2008, 01:40 PM
Well... I saw this as satire on the "typical anti gun" person who sits around as the pot calling the kettle black.
But even so, it's pretty poor satire that has to resort to potty humor.

bobbarker
August 11, 2008, 02:15 PM
That, is the funniest, most disgusting thing I have read in a long time. And I really wish someone hadn't gotten to the Volcano's before I did. When I was reading it, that was one of the things that jumped at me the most. "Is this guy serious? They've been going off all over the place since 04." ahh, but I digress. If this guy can do it though, I should definately be a writer...anyone know if the money's good, cuz that's gotta be the easiest job, EVER

fiVe
August 11, 2008, 02:56 PM
...your latest brain belch...

An apt and self-fulfilling description.

In the meantime, let's hope Mr. Cope can gain some wisdom about personal defense. (He should probably start by avoiding all those dormant ;) volcanoes.)

springmom
August 11, 2008, 03:07 PM
I'm still shaking my head in wonder that the thing ever, EVER saw the light of day in a newspaper. That was so bad it was painful.

Springmom

One of Many
August 11, 2008, 03:54 PM
Bill Cope has the wrong name. It should be Unable To Cope, or I Can't Cope.

SwampFox
August 11, 2008, 07:05 PM
That, is the funniest, most disgusting thing I have read in a long time. And I really wish someone hadn't gotten to the Volcano's before I did. When I was reading it, that was one of the things that jumped at me the most. "Is this guy serious? They've been going off all over the place since 04." ahh, but I digress. If this guy can do it though, I should definately be a writer...anyone know if the money's good, cuz that's gotta be the easiest job, EVER

I found it funny only because I know the last laugh will be on the writer.

The kind of far left rag that prints this type of screed are all loosing revenue or closing their doors.

stevemis
August 11, 2008, 07:45 PM
I was only able to make it about 3/4 through that incoherent rant "article".

jwalk
August 11, 2008, 08:44 PM
As leanwolf said, this is not satire. The Boise Weekly is rabid left-wing rag. Articles like this, incoherent, offensive, and written purely on emotion and devoid of any fact is the norm. It's not worth getting too worked up over. They're beyond sending any logical responses to and they don't care two cents about what you and I think if we don't follow thier line of reasoning.

highlander 5
August 11, 2008, 08:59 PM
Maybe we should register word processors to protect us from the likes of Mr. Cope. I just skimmed the article and this guy makes your stereo typical redneck look like blooming geniuses

jahwarrior
August 11, 2008, 10:22 PM
here's the comment i posted earlier today: http://www.boiseweekly.com/gyrobase/ReadComments?oid=oid%3A316353

jahwarrior72, NEPA 8/11/2008 - 4:20pm

i will admit, i had some difficulties understanding this article upon my first reading of it. much of the language is foreign to me, at best, and completely unintelligible at its worst. after my third attempt, i finally began to glean the author's meaning. once i had mastered the language, i found myself wondering: is this man serious, or is what i just read a gem of satirical genius? surely, it must be. sadly, after mulling it over, and sharing this article with friends who are proponents of openly carried firearms, we have come to a collective decision, that you, sir, are a c*ck socket.

Psywarrior13
August 11, 2008, 10:25 PM
jahwarrior, well said, now I have to clean up my desk from the Dr. Pepper that went through my nose......:)

springmom
August 11, 2008, 10:25 PM
Ah, but that is far too erudite a response to be understood by the person who penned the original.

Even if the last line IS right. :D

Springmom

LKB3rd
August 12, 2008, 07:28 AM
Anyone who doesn't agree with his (illogical) opinion is a "dimwit". If only everyone was as smart as him, we'd all live in peace and harmony.
One thing.. I am now confused about how I, as a "dimwit" can score 140+ on IQ tests. I guess I am not smart enough to figure that one out :P

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