Help me come up with a good phrase for this photo.


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metalhd9034
August 11, 2008, 11:48 PM
Hello All,
I just got a Ruger .357 Super Blackhawk refinished and back from the repair shop and it looks absolutely fabulous. My 86 year old Grandma wanted to see if she could even hold it/lift it, and I was able to snag this gem of a photo! :D Knowing that she is 4'10" and only about 90 lbs after a big meal makes this picture even more funny to look at. My request is could you guys help me come up with some pro-2A or just funny phrases to go along with the photo? The best submission just might win you a batch of her famous cookies. :D Thanks, metalhd9034

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Geno
August 11, 2008, 11:52 PM
How about:

"I said clean up your plate, and I meant it!"

or how about:

"Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."

:)

Doc2005

bnkrazy
August 11, 2008, 11:56 PM
....
I'm gonna shoot him in his toodles!

SapperMapper
August 12, 2008, 12:00 AM
Go ahead, sweetie, make my day!

You may substitute the following euphemism,
based on your geographic location:

Hon
Honey
Darlin'
Sugar
Son
Sonny
Kiddo
Pardner
Boy (okay maybe not that one)
Mister
You
Wiseguy
You, you,...you bad man!
Creep (my grandma's favorite)
or after my grandma has had a few too many - A%%h*le!

KC0QGL
August 12, 2008, 12:00 AM
Granny will shoot you and then yell at you for bleeding on the carpet.

SapperMapper
August 12, 2008, 12:01 AM
Granny will shoot you and then yell at you for bleeding on the carpet.

HA!

+1

oneslowgun
August 12, 2008, 12:05 AM
Doc2005

for the win..

"Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."

SuperNaut
August 12, 2008, 12:11 AM
"This works much better than a Clapper."

btg3
August 12, 2008, 12:38 AM
"Okay, I'll keep my trigger finger off the trigger, but I'm going to shoot it anyway!"

Pigspitter
August 12, 2008, 12:43 AM
Dagnabbit, I told you to pass me the Coo' Whip!

neviander
August 12, 2008, 12:47 AM
Broken wrist in waiting.

Nate C.
August 12, 2008, 12:48 AM
I'm a big fan of the one about chatting about Jesus while waiting for the police, but here are my submissions:

Now honey, Gramma said NO COOKIES before dinner!

Dammit I said to quiet down while I am watching Wheel of Fortune!

halfbreed808
August 12, 2008, 01:51 AM
"Get away from the cookies dear. Not before supper.:)" or
"Oh dear, of course I feel safe by myself.":neener:

rainbowbob
August 12, 2008, 01:55 AM
Give the cookies to doc2005

My suggestions:

"Say hello to my little friend."

"Don't even think about changing that channel."

MTMilitiaman
August 12, 2008, 02:08 AM
"You gotta ask yourself one question...

Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

physics
August 12, 2008, 02:20 AM
"I told you not to spray your sister with the hose."

Ragnar Danneskjold
August 12, 2008, 02:43 AM
Doc2005

for the win..

"Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."

Second.

Roccobro
August 12, 2008, 02:45 AM
"I call it the 'mistress grip.' The master grip was what 'Pa did and it just caught on when the neighbors heard it the first time."

Justin

jakemccoy
August 12, 2008, 02:54 AM
"Yes, I won the lottery. You did too in a way. Smile."

"Hurry up and try to rob me so that I can shoot you and get back to my tea."

"I'm smiling because you probably think I don't know what I'm doing."

"I showed you where the money is. Now, I have to kill you. Say cheese."

"I've seen it all. Home invaders just make me smile."

General Geoff
August 12, 2008, 02:55 AM
Honestly, with a gun that massive, if you load it up with .38spl, the recoil's probably light enough for her to shoot it without a problem. :)

Sylvan-Forge
August 12, 2008, 03:08 AM
" ... and last but not least .. the Ruger Super Blackhawk chambered in the venerable three-fifty-seven magnum cartridge (oohs and ahhs) .. Well, that's it for today ladies .. don't forget we have Bingo next tuesday!"

:)

Hardware
August 12, 2008, 04:52 AM
"I said I want to watch Matlock!"

redraidermgr
August 12, 2008, 05:30 AM
"Dang kids with their loud rap music and earth shaking speakers... I'll show them to move into my neighborhood and be trippin'."

"Why Grandma, what big teeth you have!"

Clerihew
August 12, 2008, 05:46 AM
I thought I was going to state the obvious with a small change to the comment but Thank you MTMilitiaman...


"This is a .357 magnum one of the most powerful handguns in the world. It could blow your head clean off. So tell me punk was that 5 shots or 6 I fired...do you feel lucky punk...well do ya!"

Its been a while since I have seen that movie though so I dont think thats the exact quote besides changing 44 to 357.


Clerihew

chrissmallwood
August 12, 2008, 06:34 AM
1. I always wondered what happened to grandpa.

2. Who stole my teeth?

cambeul41
August 12, 2008, 06:41 AM
"Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."

Doc2005 gets my vote, but I am not sure which would be more frightening: the chat or the police.

metalhd9034
August 12, 2008, 07:11 AM
So far the top 3 submissions are:
1. "Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."
2. "This works much better than a Clapper." - Cause she actually does own a clapper.
3. "Say Hello to my Little Friend."

Thanks guys, this has been great. She'll get a kick out of it I'm sure. Please feel free to keep 'em coming.

Mr White
August 12, 2008, 08:15 AM
Just let them try to cut my Medicare!

He's fallen and he can't get up!

Huddog
August 12, 2008, 08:32 AM
"Make my life" but Doc and Jesus is a clear winner.

Owens
August 12, 2008, 08:33 AM
"For the last time...lick that knife clean before sticking it back in the butter"

Jdude
August 12, 2008, 09:19 AM
Oh man. Doc and Jesus win today.

herohog
August 12, 2008, 09:20 AM
+1 "Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."

CHEVELLE427
August 12, 2008, 09:31 AM
Granny gone wild

Drgong
August 12, 2008, 09:43 AM
"Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."

+1

My idea was "The only reasion why your not dead is that is Aunt Lula's tablecloth. Sit down and have some tea while the cops come"

but Jesus is SOO much better.

gpr
August 12, 2008, 09:57 AM
"you want to do WHAT, with my social security check?"

foghornl
August 12, 2008, 09:59 AM
"Metal, you got 5 minutes to put all your toys away. I done told ya not to leave 'em strewn all over the parlor like that."

"No, you WILL go cut your own hickory switch offa that tree, then I'm gonna use it on ya. And ya better get a BIG one."

"Gramps left his dirty socks on the living room floor AGAIN."

1911 guy
August 12, 2008, 10:32 AM
I'm not even going to try. I'm just voting for Doc and his little chat until the cops get there.

ilcylic
August 12, 2008, 10:36 AM
"Oh dear, of course I feel safe by myself.

I'm rather fond of this one.

ErikS
August 12, 2008, 10:38 AM
Doc gets my vote too. :D

Not only is it a hilarious line, it's a great pro-2nd amendment caption too, in a very understated, yet obvious way. :)

Water-Man
August 12, 2008, 10:46 AM
"I'm hot for recoil"

max popenker
August 12, 2008, 11:01 AM
Sorry, but I'm too old to call that nine-something number, man

ZeSpectre
August 12, 2008, 11:26 AM
Under the listing of names in the family photo album
"Dirty Harriet"

BAT1
August 12, 2008, 11:31 AM
Gun, that ain't no gun, now this is a gun. Now, where's your wallet?

XDKingslayer
August 12, 2008, 11:34 AM
Get Off My Lawn!

Harley Man
August 12, 2008, 11:39 AM
Come on Paw let me see if I can shoot that cigar out of your mouth, You seemed pretty brave last night!

rondog
August 12, 2008, 11:40 AM
"You boys get outta my watermelon patch!"

Piraticalbob
August 12, 2008, 11:41 AM
You want to ban WHAT, Senator Obama?

Zip7
August 12, 2008, 11:50 AM
"You see, sonny, there are two kinds of people in this world: those with loaded guns, and those who eat their vegetables. Eat your vegetables. "

LJ-MosinFreak-Buck
August 12, 2008, 12:13 PM
+1 on Doc2005's Jesus statement.

gregormeister
August 12, 2008, 12:14 PM
"Give me the false teeth and noone will be hurt!!"

Blackbeard
August 12, 2008, 01:04 PM
You're about to fall, and you won't get up.

hdrk1955
August 12, 2008, 01:22 PM
This is gonna hurt me more.........

hdrk1955
August 12, 2008, 01:25 PM
WHO's not going to bingo??????????????

Drgong
August 12, 2008, 01:41 PM
Backbeards is the 2nd best, only to the great "Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."

hdrk1955
August 12, 2008, 01:48 PM
Grandma's gonna kill Ralphie!

XD_fan
August 12, 2008, 01:54 PM
Doc FTW!!

Perfect caption for the picture. Granny has good trigger discipline too!

streakr
August 12, 2008, 01:55 PM
I cain't hear ya. Shout into the open end!!

s

ColinthePilot
August 12, 2008, 02:01 PM
Doc had me rollin, but here's my attempt.

Its a nice piece, metal, but .357 is a little light for my taste.

springmom
August 12, 2008, 02:01 PM
Doc for the win, Blackbeard gets second. I'm laughing too hard to think of an entry.

Springmom

rainbowbob
August 12, 2008, 02:26 PM
Doc for the win, Blackbeard gets second.

I don't know...that may have to be decided by a coin flip.

"You're about to fall, and you won't get up." is very funny.

Perhaps closer to the original would be:

"Oh dear, you've fallen - and you can't get up."

ravenwolf71
August 12, 2008, 04:05 PM
Give me back my teeth.

rc109a
August 12, 2008, 04:11 PM
Are you sure this thing is loaded?
or
don't worry sweety,this thing is not loaded...
or
What do you think will happen when I pull the little dohicky?

pistolero6869
August 12, 2008, 04:14 PM
You say you didnt know my name was Mrs Oakley!!!

3KillerBs
August 12, 2008, 04:21 PM
+1 on the chat with Jesus, but feeling safe comes close.

TCB in TN
August 12, 2008, 05:13 PM
#1
"Hurry up and try to rob me so that I can shoot you and get back to my tea."

#2
"Oh dear, you've fallen - and you can't get up."

#3
"Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."

To funny, you guys crack me up!

The Tourist
August 12, 2008, 05:18 PM
"I don't give a crap about the Olympics, you put "The Guiding Light" back on right now..."

RNB65
August 12, 2008, 05:22 PM
"Go ahead, make my day."

Claymore1500
August 12, 2008, 05:56 PM
Jamie's got a gun!


And just for the record, if you look close you can see her middle finger IS on the trigger, so much for the end of her index finger when she touches that thing off.

blackcash88
August 12, 2008, 06:06 PM
What the machine gun granny said... 'I'm gonna shoot him in the toodles."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYXJYQZ3FX0

Sistema1927
August 12, 2008, 06:20 PM
"Size does matter."

jonmerritt
August 12, 2008, 06:28 PM
How dare you, picking on a defensless, little ol lady!!

moss590
August 12, 2008, 06:28 PM
I Said Get Off My Porch!

.cheese.
August 12, 2008, 06:40 PM
Say cheese

?? you rang?

ASM826
August 12, 2008, 06:43 PM
How about, "Now, if you'll just stand there while I try to cock this thing, I'd be ever so grateful."

Pat-inCO
August 12, 2008, 06:46 PM
"And then he said "I'M GOING! I'M GOING!! ........."

LegalAlien
August 12, 2008, 07:01 PM
Doc said it best!!!

I read through the whole thread - there are some really good ones, but I think the 'come-to-Jesus talk' is the winner here.

OP can then make a nice poster out of it, and send a copy to our dear presumptious(sic) Democratic presidential nominee

tpaw
August 12, 2008, 07:03 PM
" You picked the wrong house sonny, now say nite nite to grandma, it's time for your dirt nap "

Kentak
August 12, 2008, 07:25 PM
I'm a nonbeliever and I still like the one about chatting about Jesus.

K

Jdude
August 12, 2008, 07:33 PM
The more I think about it, the more I think this is billboard material. "Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."
With the classic 'burglar' with the stupid cartoon eye mask sitting on the far side of the table (out of the range of grabbing.)
And below it "gun control only hurts gramma."

win71
August 12, 2008, 07:39 PM
“From my cold, wrinkled, gnarly, arthritic, hands !……….”

sm
August 12, 2008, 07:48 PM
Dearie, Grandma does not dial 911

Eyesac
August 12, 2008, 07:51 PM
"it's ok 'mam, I'm from 1926"

CSA 357
August 12, 2008, 08:15 PM
I Brought You In This World! And I Can Sure Take You Out!

CSA 357
August 12, 2008, 08:16 PM
Come On Boys I Think Them Dogs Is Treed!

az_imuth
August 12, 2008, 08:28 PM
Hey, Padre...remember the Alamo???:evil:

Pigspitter
August 12, 2008, 08:34 PM
Put "Touched by an Angle" back on or else this here trigger is gonna get touched.

swingpress
August 12, 2008, 09:00 PM
Doc gets the obvious win.

Runner up for me was "My, what big teeth you have, Grandma!"

Dustinthewind
August 12, 2008, 09:05 PM
Where's the beef?

hksw
August 12, 2008, 09:10 PM
I'm ready for your brownshirts Nagin.

tinygnat219
August 12, 2008, 09:17 PM
Yeah, the .38 SPL is an ok round, I guess. However, I always MUCH preferred the .357 long barrels.

Tax my Social Security Benefits? I don't think so!

YOU drink the Prune Juice sonny.

LibShooter
August 12, 2008, 09:52 PM
"I said we're going to the Cracker Barrell at 4:15... and DON'T be late!"

sm
August 13, 2008, 12:15 AM
How could we have forgotten the classic lines?


If momma ain't happy - ain't nobody happy!

Grandma's Kitchen - Grandma's Rules.

Get me a switch, and don't make have to go out and get a bigger one!

So if I check, behind your ears are really clean?

Which one of you used Grandma's Good Guest Towel in the bathroom to wipe them dirty hands?

Dearie, Grandma said you were not going to school dressed like that!

Sweetie, if Grannie checks that hemline with her "two finger rule", that hemline had better be just above the knee.


I'll make the 'tater salad for the potluck, but I best get a good write up in the local paper in the Society Section you understand!

rainbowbob
August 13, 2008, 01:16 AM
Grandma's Kitchen - Grandma's Rules.

Yes.

Claude Clay
August 13, 2008, 01:57 AM
i aint a violent person but ua should know that yous'a standing where i'm a gonna be shootin.

maestro pistolero
August 13, 2008, 04:16 AM
Your steak is too what?

230RN
August 13, 2008, 07:45 AM
Somehow, tinygnat219's sig line seemed to work with that picture:



"It's a mall ninja thing, you wouldn't understand."


It just tickled me.

Me go now. <skulks away in shame>

Superpsy
August 13, 2008, 07:55 AM
great picture! My vote is for Doc's chat about Jesus.

pbearperry
August 13, 2008, 07:57 AM
How bout"Yes Sonny,size does matter"?

redraidermgr
August 13, 2008, 08:11 AM
Somehow, tinygnat219's sig line seemed to work with that picture:
Quote:
"It's a mall ninja thing, you wouldn't understand."

it seems to me that most of tinygnats sigs would work with that picture especially the minute of bad guy one or the cop being too heavy:

"It's a mall ninja thing, you wouldn't understand."

"It doesn't need to be Minute of Angle, just Minute of Barn, or Minute of Bad Guy"

"Responsible for the 'Fun' in Fundamentalism"

"I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy"

Gairwyn
August 13, 2008, 08:29 AM
I thought that this might work....:)
The fact that you have Replica written down the side of your gun....
and the fact that I have point 357 written on mine should precipitate your presence shrinking. Now... Bleep off!

jhco
August 13, 2008, 08:35 AM
its already been said but i love hearing it so here you go

"I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .357 Magnum,one of the most powerful handguns in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

Savage Shooter
August 13, 2008, 09:58 AM
This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you...ohh who am i kidding it's defenitly going to hurt you more.:D

If that doesn't do it for ya +1 on doc I think mines good though

FCFC
August 13, 2008, 10:05 AM
Grandma Magnum

tawcat
August 13, 2008, 11:41 AM
"Not sure, but I bet I can shoot off your sausage!"

realmswalker
August 13, 2008, 11:46 AM
"The grandkids sure give me the weirdest utensils to eat with"

blackcash88
August 13, 2008, 12:39 PM
Matlock!!!

230RN
August 13, 2008, 12:53 PM
This has been lurking in the top of my little pointy head:

"Why yes, I am Gecko45's Grandmother."

myrockfight
August 13, 2008, 01:25 PM
"It may take two hands to hold this gun up, but it only takes one finger to put you on the floor."

stevereno1
August 13, 2008, 03:23 PM
I will not be a victim!

stevereno1
August 13, 2008, 03:26 PM
Go away, big, bad wolf!

Emfuser
August 13, 2008, 03:28 PM
"She may end up with a dislocated shoulder and a broken wrist, but that'll be the last time some punk kid parks in a handicapped space at the grocery store."

highfive
August 13, 2008, 03:41 PM
Like springmom said...you guys crack me up... I can't think about one....I can't stop laughing

Farnorthdan
August 13, 2008, 05:02 PM
OH MY....its so large

MT GUNNY
August 13, 2008, 05:24 PM
Thats not a gun , This is a gun!!

asuming bad guy has little gun.

Creature
August 13, 2008, 05:27 PM
"Looky here, sonny."

pappy
August 13, 2008, 08:31 PM
+1 for chat about Jesus!

230RN
August 13, 2008, 09:06 PM
"Chat about Jesus..."

Conversion by the sword? ... errrr, Super Blackhawk?

Freedomv
August 13, 2008, 10:40 PM
To quote Samual colt advertisement, I believe.............

"Fear no man of any size. Depend on me, I'll equalize."

or

When I get a little older I'm goning to get me one of these.

Vern

Lookn4Brass
August 13, 2008, 10:50 PM
"That ol' fart on the history channel said somethin' about speakin' softly and carryin' a big stick... I like this better!

Kim
August 13, 2008, 11:08 PM
Yeah, You can see the bullets in this one!!!!

Rxxdoc
August 13, 2008, 11:15 PM
I Said "have You Seen My Cat Fluffy!"

Rxxdoc
August 13, 2008, 11:16 PM
Who you callin' old!

hellophoneman
August 13, 2008, 11:25 PM
I think your in the wrong house.

Poor East Texan
August 13, 2008, 11:33 PM
Are you SURE you want this wheelchair?

(sorta like my imagined "are you sure you want my truck?" as I pull the S&W 469 from it's place of concealment and point it at the window)

redraidermgr
August 14, 2008, 01:40 AM
"yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no evil because I am the baddest mother in the valley and I have nothing to fear at all."

Rxxdoc
August 14, 2008, 12:09 PM
Grim Reaper! Bring it on!

Restorer
August 14, 2008, 11:35 PM
"Oh, my gracious. It looks like you had an AD in your trousers!"

FM12
August 15, 2008, 12:38 AM
"Well, I guess it WAS cocked!"

bogie
August 15, 2008, 02:27 AM
"Granny wants her special medicine. It's in the bottle that says VSOP."

230RN
August 15, 2008, 03:00 AM
Restorer offered:

"Oh, my gracious. It looks like you had an AD in your trousers!"

LOL. Reminded me of that used car salesman character in "True Lies."

metalhd9034
August 15, 2008, 07:10 AM
Thanks fellas for all the great submissions! Though I personally enjoyed most if not all of the submissions, I think we can all agree that Doc2005 was probably the stand out favorite. If Doc wants to PM me his address I'll be happy to send along some type of "Thank You" either from my Grandma, or if she's too tired to bake, something from me. Thanks again to you all, have a great weekend!

crankshop1000
August 15, 2008, 09:00 AM
Yo, Homie, is that my briefcase?

blackcash88
August 15, 2008, 01:26 PM
Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Ed Wagner
August 15, 2008, 03:23 PM
Not in my house, and not to my family dirtball.
You brought the gang, I brougt the banger.

swingpress
August 15, 2008, 05:02 PM
"Freeze, Varmint!"

GingerGuy
August 15, 2008, 05:30 PM
Grandpa, you take that Viagra, right now!

New User
August 15, 2008, 05:50 PM
Whatever caption you go with, cross your fingers and hope that you can use it as the front page to her 90th birthday party invitation.

Great photo.

un_lucky
August 15, 2008, 09:50 PM
Oh dear I thought I just put new batteries in this remote.

shouldifail
August 15, 2008, 11:37 PM
"listen here sonny, thats home-made apple pie. you're gonna sit right there until you've eaten every last bite. i didn't spend all day slavin' over a hot stove so you could sass me!"

Indifferent
August 15, 2008, 11:46 PM
The one about Jesus and the Police.
Done
Thats the one
*** are we still doing here?

Snapping Twig
August 16, 2008, 02:22 AM
"Now I'm sure you're fine young man, so set down the silverware and head on down the road and we'll just call this even."

lookn4varmints
August 16, 2008, 03:44 AM
This right here says I ain’t goin’ to no nursin’ home.

Now, ya know why I call her “Prune Juice.”

You sure you ain’t a Hatfield?

A/C Guy
August 16, 2008, 09:01 PM
How about printing some posters for sale with these captions?

"You see, sonny, there are two kinds of people in this world: those with loaded guns, and those who eat their vegetables. Eat your vegetables. "


"Let's you and I chat about Jesus while we wait for the police to arrive."

I aint a violent person but ua should know that yous'a standing where i'm a gonna be ashootin.

Its a nice piece, but .357 is a little light for my taste.

Gun? That ain't no gun, this is a gun. Now, where's your wallet?

Geno
August 17, 2008, 02:06 PM
metalhd9034:

No need to send a formal thanks, just enjoy the pic and caption. That is a great photo of your Grandmother. I hope she gets a kick out of the caption as well. Give her my best, and a big THR hug from all us "youngins" here at THR. This sure was a fun thread!

Doc2005

Bobo
August 17, 2008, 10:29 PM
"Remember, Grandma's always right! - Right?"

azhunter122
August 17, 2008, 10:30 PM
I also like the Jesus one! :)

Nugilum
August 17, 2008, 10:46 PM
http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii114/nugilum/Grandma_knows_best.jpg

Rxxdoc
August 23, 2008, 02:18 PM
Gimme back my teeth!

Good Shot Group
August 23, 2008, 02:47 PM
"I said, have some apple pie!!"

DRYHUMOR
August 23, 2008, 03:48 PM
Oh, you're going to get off my porch... and your going to clean that puddle up before you go.

Don357
August 23, 2008, 08:11 PM
" I said 'Knit one, pearl two', not 'knit two, pearl one'!"

Stevie-Ray
August 23, 2008, 08:31 PM
You call this peashooter a gun? CLEM, FETCH ME MY BFR!

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