Horror Movies, what a joke


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Revolver
September 5, 2003, 11:25 PM
After seeing the new Jeepers Creepers movie while driving home I thought
how come in Horror movies a group of teenagers goes on a road trip or camping out in the wilderness which loads of people have died in before unarmed, then to make things worse they taunt the big psycho guy with the hockey mask and machette with a party in his woods, yeah these are the honor students alright. I wonder if while they're runnig away they realize "Crap my S&W 629 in my other pants, D'OH"

Revolver

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Combat-wombat
September 5, 2003, 11:33 PM
Yeah, I remember in this one horror movie this girl's friends are being killed and she knows she's next. WHY THE HELL DOESN'T SHE GET A GUN???

And BTW, welcome to THR!

4v50 Gary
September 5, 2003, 11:42 PM
Of if the heroine does get a gun, she has trouble assembling the over/under and then fumbles with the shells.

C.R.Sam
September 6, 2003, 12:48 AM
If I want realism, I don't watch a movie.

Sam

Telperion
September 6, 2003, 12:57 AM
Think of how boring "Signs" would have been if anybody, anybody, had a good rifle handy. ;)

Combat-wombat
September 6, 2003, 01:10 AM
You're right! Signs was on a freakin farm, why didn't they at least have a rifle?

S_O_Laban
September 6, 2003, 01:15 AM
Guns kill plots:D

NewShooter78
September 6, 2003, 08:09 AM
Well you know Hollyweird's standards: only bad guys and LEO/military can have guns.

Mark Tyson
September 6, 2003, 08:54 AM
The only way you can have a good monster movie is without guns, or with monsters that aren't suceptible to gunfire(which is why civilians need destructive devices, of course ...) Yes, any camping or hunting party ought to have some kind of firearm, and in the old days they would have. One other thing I don't like about these movies: the bratty, sexy outsider kids are always the heroes of the story; the local hicks are just ignorant, unlikable fodder.

seeker_two
September 6, 2003, 12:27 PM
If any of the 3 hikers in the "Blair Witch Project" had had a Buckmark .22, it would have been a sitcom...


Guns don't kill people, good guys with guns kill bad guys with guns & make movies a lot shorter & less suspensful...

tyme
September 6, 2003, 02:25 PM
Newshooter, except when it's a spielberg movie. Then you have to replace cops' guns with radios so kids don't get scared. (reference is of the ET dvd)

Blueduck
September 6, 2003, 04:15 PM
Gotta have victims (i.e. dumb liberals) to make good horror movies.

Republicans make lousy fodder for slasher films. Little casual sex, no drugs (that alone will get you out alive of 99% of Friday the 13th films) and prepared for something to go wrong.

Can you imagine a horror film at C.R. Sams place?--- "Hey Sam there's an axe murderer on the loose!" {BOOM!!!} "Got him"- Roll credits ;)

dfariswheel
September 6, 2003, 08:05 PM
One of the funniest sight gags of all time was on some obscure TV show in the 60's.

A black Limo pulls up and a black shape slips out and into the bushes.

A man walks down the sidewalk, and into a darkened park. The shape flits after the man, and we realize that Count Dracula is stalking another victim.

The man passes by some large bushes and the Count pounces.

Two gigantic men jump on the Count with brass knuckles and blackjacks, beating him to a bloody pulp.

The take his cape and wallet, and leave him with a black eye and a broken off fang.

The camera pans up, and he's laying under a sign that says:

Welcome to Central Park, New York City.

Revolver
September 6, 2003, 08:35 PM
Imagine how boring Jurassic Park would have been if the dude had hired some Marine security guards.
Instead of eventually running from the T-Rex when the power cuts out, one of the guards pulls out a bolt action rifle in some elephant gun caliber pops two rounds in the big dino and then uses a 870 or an M-16 to take care of the Raptors and all the other dinos that pose a threat. Then reclones them when the stroms over. Or in the first place take preventitive measures and they put collars with some explosives on it then flip a switch and take care of thier pest problem.

Skunkabilly
September 6, 2003, 09:05 PM
Republicans make lousy fodder for slasher films. Little casual sex, no drugs (that alone will get you out alive of 99% of Friday the 13th films) and prepared for something to go wrong.

You've never heard of PJ O'Rourke before have you? :D :D :D

Blueduck
September 6, 2003, 09:15 PM
Oh yeah, self absorbed lousy writer. Jason would nail his RINO butt before the opening theme music even started ;)

Revolver
September 7, 2003, 09:50 AM
I dont think Jason would be very scary to me given I had an AR or a MP-5, just aim for the head and stay at least 30 feet away that would fix him quick.
There was one cool part in all of those movies, a woman goes in to her cabin at Camp Blood and Jason attacks her, she runs for a little while to a meadow where the Army is waiting for Jason. When Jason shows up the Army dudes shoot him with M-16s. Then somebody breaks out the rocket launchers and blows him into chunks, problem solved.:evil:

Skunkabilly
September 7, 2003, 10:52 AM
What's the deal with Jason and Freddie...and what's the deal with Jason not dying, is he a zombie? If he is, then I dont think a CNS shot would work, you'd probably have to actually blow his limbs off to impede his movement.

I'd have to vote 12ga. Blow his hips off then shoot every limb off...one at a time....shoot one...load one.... :D

gryphon
September 7, 2003, 11:26 AM
Zombies by the classical definition dies when their brain is damaged ala blunt trauma or gunshot to the brain.

Jason Vorhees and Michael Myers are something a little different. They are mindless like zombies, but more indestructible.

Blueduck
September 7, 2003, 11:55 AM
When Jason shows up the Army dudes shoot him with M-16s. Then somebody breaks out the rocket launchers and blows him into chunks, problem solved.

Actually not, that was the start of movie #9 ;)

All Jason had to do was telekinectally force the mortician to eat the left over pieces of his black black heart, thus reviving himself in a new body. Worked so well it's officially listed as backup plan #742 if things should ever go bad for Blueduck:evil: ....

seeker_two
September 7, 2003, 12:36 PM
What's the deal with Jason and Freddie...and what's the deal with Jason not dying, is he a zombie? If he is, then I dont think a CNS shot would work, you'd probably have to actually blow his limbs off to impede his movement.

In every culture's legends of undead creatures, there is only ONE surefire way to destroy vampires, zombies, wraiths, & other "children of the night"...

Decapitation.

Aim for the neck & shoot until the head falls off. If necessary, use a sword, machete, or axe.


(...used to study this kind of stuff in my not-so-innocent youth...:evil: )

FPrice
September 7, 2003, 01:01 PM
"Guns kill plots."

Guns don't kill plots. Only people kill plots!

:p

(I can't believe no one else jumped on this one!)

Kaylee
September 7, 2003, 02:11 PM
seeker...decapitation???

so...are you suggesting we all get carved ivory gripped katanas from 700 BC? :D

NIGHTWATCH
September 7, 2003, 04:04 PM
The movie "SIGNS" was painfull to watch as a gunowner. :( Especially the basement scenes.
The final battle scene, I like to think what if Gibson had looked to a shotgun on the wall instead of a bat and said....."Shoot away Meryll. Shoot away. :cool:

seeker_two
September 8, 2003, 05:58 AM
so...are you suggesting we all get carved ivory gripped katanas from 700 BC?

If you can find one, get it--for collector's value, of course. I wouldn't waste it on a zombie...

As long as the head is separated from the body, it doesn't matter what is used. I'd prefer a 12ga. w/ slugs. Multiple shots in the head should do the work---messily, of course. :evil:

I'd rather not get close enough to an undead creature to use a bladed weapon... :uhoh:




BTW, if there can be only ONE, I'm going to make sure I'm the ONE! :cool:

Blueduck
September 8, 2003, 08:19 AM
I actually thought "Signs" was ok, but didn't come in expecting much.

*******Spoiler********























The real hole in the story to me was not a lack of guns, but rather aliens who had somehow mastered interstellar travel but failed to develop the concept of a rain coat or umbrella:confused:

Cosmoline
September 8, 2003, 01:21 PM
Sam Rami's "Evil Dead" triology featured firearms. Granted, in the first one it was just a Topper 88, but by "Army of Darkness" it's a full-fledged DB boomstick. "Good, bad. I'm the one with the gun." Ash.

Also the "xxxx of the Dead" series featured a lot of gunplay, from national guard troops shooting it out in an underground lab in "Dawn(?) of the Dead" to the Savage 99 sniper at the mall in "Day of the Dead."

Country Boy
September 8, 2003, 01:55 PM
Check out this link at www.thefiringline.com if you've ever been fed up with the way the characters react in horror movies.
Lines I'd Like to Hear in a Horror Movie Someday... (http://www.thefiringline.com/forums/printthread.php?threadid=87258)

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