[Joshua M. Smith]

Hello,

I've wondered about this.

Since people in Indiana can carry when they turn 18, how would you feel if your, say, 17 year old daughter were to go on a date with a senior who turned 18 and got his handgun permit, and planned to carry on said date?

Or how about if she were living at home while going to college, and dating someone licensed to carry (and who made a habit of carrying)?

I'm 30 so it'll be a while (if ever) that I have to be concerned about this, but I think this is an interesting question.

Josh <><

[kingpin008]

In my opinion, maturity comes at all ages. I've met some awful wise and worldly fifteen and sixteen year-olds, but I've come across some pretty juvenile older adults as well.

I would say it really depends on the person.

[Mr. 16 gauge]

I don't like anyone who dates my daughter (who just turned 17), so the point is MOOT!:evil:

[M203Sniper]

He had better address me as Sir, not attempt to pick her up at ANY time without a handshake or hello Mrs. ____ to my wife & offer to buy the ammo at least once on a range trip weather it be his idea mine or my daughters.

I'm also only 31 but my oldest daughter is 9, thanks for the scare. :eek:

[JT in VA]

Either he is OK to see your child or he isn't. Regardless of CCW.

[SureThing]

If say, he was a kid I knew from church and his family, I prbably would actually like it.

Some kid I don't know...makes me a bit uneasy. That is too young IMO, simply because of lack of maturity. I was not mature enough at that age IMO.

[no_problem]

<<Mr. 16 gauge
Member

I don't like anyone who dates my daughter (who just turned 17), so the point is MOOT!>>>


:D:D:D

Well said!!

[gidaeon]

If I can't trust him with a firearm, then I definitely can't\couldn't\wouldn't trust him with my daughter!

I would want to know the fellow is a gun enthusiast and carries, and then I could get to know him by shooting together? Mine is only 3yo though.. (the girl demands equal or greater due respect than the responsibility of a weapon on ones person). Interesting question.

but +1k on what SureThing said!!!

[psyopspec]

Since people in Indiana can carry when they turn 18, how would you feel if your, say, 17 year old daughter were to go on a date with a senior who turned 18 and got his handgun permit, and planned to carry on said date?

Having been that kid, I can pretty much tell you that most 18 year olds who are mature enough to go through and maintain the standards for a CCW are also going to be mature enough not to disclose something like that in the first few dates.

I've carried now for about 6 years, and in that time I've only ever gotten positive feedback from the parents who found out. I won't address CCW on the first date, but in order to feel out what the girl's sentiments toward guns are, I will offer to take them to the range for the next date.

Having said that, if I face this situation as a father I won't automatically think much either way. I'll be judging the young man on his character, not the number and types of various pieces of plastic in his wallet. Hopefully, if I've done a good job in raising my own (hypothetical) children, it won't be an issue to lose sleep over. When it gets to the point that daughters are dating in their mid-late teens, the role of the parents is largely over. Lay the groundwork beforehand, so you won't have to worry about it.

Note: I am not a parent (that I know of). :uhoh:

ETA: I've been carrying w/ CCW since the age of 19.

[Curiousity]

I would take him out to the range and see how he handles firearms, see how safely he handles it. Then i would approve based on that...

[Treo]

If the 18 Y/O truly is mature enough to CCW I would assume he's mature enough not to mention the fact that he is

[Joshua M. Smith]

Around here, we tend to be somewhat open about that fact, and some carry openly. (I used to some of the time, though not any longer except on my own property). It's not a macho thing; it's just a matter of what's convenient and what's accepted.

This is a rural community in a red state with the longest running license to carry openly or concealed in the nation (IIRC) and having a gun on your hip is just about as common as carrying a cell phone. Not quite, but almost.

Josh <><

[mgregg85]

I'm only 23 and without kids so I can't speak from experience.

But, if I didn't trust the guy with a loaded weapon, I sure as hell wouldn't let him take my daughter anywhere.

[Gunsby_Blazen]

I am a youngen, myself, well mid twenties...
i don't trust punk kids anyway, no matter how they handle themselves. i am young enough to relate to punks and old enough to know that most of them are not that mature. maybe I am in an older state of mind at my age than i should be. but I dont like punk kids. That being said, i dont know what I would do in that situation. I would really have to go over the fella, not in his face, but really evaluate him to know if he is trust worthy. Try to relate to him and see how he behaves once he "thinks" your his buddy. When a person loosens up to you, they show you their true self. Thats about all I can give ya.

[TehK1w1]

gidaeon said it well-if I can't trust with a gun, I sure wouldn't trust him with any offspring of mine! It's a purely academic question for me however, as I am still in college and don't plan on kids any time soon.

[savetheclaypigeons]

Like a few others not far from the hypothetical age....if the father of the lucky lady ;) would hear word of a ccdw boyfriend IMO it would be pretty black and white whether he was a responsible gentleman or a troublemaker. I'm the responsible gentleman by the way :D

[rojocorsa]

I once read that a proper Southern Gentleman does not clean his weapons in front of a lady.

[ArchAngelCD]

Like said above, it depends on the maturity of the kid. If he's a responsible young man I would feel better that my daughter was out with someone who has the means to protect her life.

[Sunray]

Having a CCW is irrelevant. 18 year old guys are bags of hormones that are trying to get out. So are 17 year old girls. How they conduct themselves depends entirely on how they were raised. They're either jumping on each other or they aren't. It's about the values they were taught and their personal values.
Lots of 18 year olds are currently in the Queen's and U.S. military service.
In any case, despite the rhetoric, you won't get to decide who a daughter goes out with.
23, mid twenties, or 30, there are all kinds of youth groups that are looking for adult volunteers to provide leadership. That's what teenage kids crave. Somebody to lead 'em. They're great fun to work with too. Did 6 years with a Canadian Army Cadet Corps. 13 to 18 year olds. Best time I've ever had doing anything. Treat tenagers like adults, respect 'em, give 'em responsibilities, expect a standard and they'll act and react like adults. Oh and real respect is earned. It doesn't come with the job/position.

[Quoheleth]

I once read that a proper Southern Gentleman does not clean his weapons in front of a lady.

For that matter, he better keep his weapon concealed in front of a lady as well. :uhoh:

A real quick turn-off would be if said 18-year old shows up at my door and in the course of our "Get-to-know-you/come-to-Jesus" conversation he pops off with something like, "...and don't worry, Mr. Q., 'cuz I got my gun right here [pull up shirttail to show me] and I can take care of bizness if I need to..." he will be taking care of scraping my bootprint off of his bizness while mumbling to himself in the driveway - alone.

Other ways to meet the pavement: if I ask, "Do you carry?" and he gets THAT smirk that says, [in Joey Tribbione-esque] "Oh, yeah..." he's outta here.

If I'm sitting on the porch, doing my best impersonation of "Deliverance" while cleaning my guns, waiting for his sorry rear to show up to escort my princess somewhere, and when he arrives he quick grabs my GP100 or 1911 and does a Hollywood movie scene recreation, he'll be missing two fingers when I jerk it out of his hand.

However, if he stands a respectful 4-6' away, addresses me as "Sir," "Reverend," or "Colonel" (gotta love a Southern boy who calls you Colonel), wisely - but not TOO wisely - comments on my firearms (and casually the conversation comes around to "Do you have a CCL"), my car, and my BBQ pit, he will have a chance to enter the house where he may wait quietly and patiently until approximately 8:30 for their 7:00 date. In the meantime, I'll be searching his car to see what kind of ammo he prefers...

My daughter is 11 and beginning to notice boys and vice versa.
The threat is real.
I know.
I was a teenager once.
Daughters are God's way of saying, "You shoulda listened to Momma, boy."

Q

[3KillerBs]

If I can't trust him with a firearm, then I definitely can't\couldn't\wouldn't trust him with my daughter!

As the mother of a 15yo girl, that's how I feel as well.

If you want to associate with my daughter you'd better impress DH and I with your manners, respect, and responsibility first. THEN you need to impress her older brother too. You might be able to fool us, but you won't be fooling him.

[Birdhunter1]

I like Mr. 16's answer, "I don't like anyone who dates my daughter!"

No daughter yet but I hated every boy my 2 younger cousins (grew up like sisters to me) and one ex boyfriend still won't come near me 8 years later.

[dbriannelson]

My daughter is a far better judge of character than I am. She's living in Hollywood now, working in the movie industry, dating guys I like - guys I've seen in movies and TV.

Because it has always been her life, not mine, I simply provided parental services necessary to tide her over until she could handle life by herself. She's doing fine now.

Bottom line is I have no problem with anyone she has chosen since she was young. If she had picked someone who packed, that itself would not have been important one way or the other.

Now, the other way around. I'm a photographer. I deal with young women all the time. I have outraged some folks in that community/clustergaggle by suggesting that any model who can legally carry a weapon is perfectly free (and encouraged) to do so when working with me, and should consider doing so when working with anyone. Not so much because photographers are a threat, but because women are perhaps more vulnerable than men in general and should take whatever steps are necessary to not be victims.

I have no problem with anyone with a clean record and a sane mind being armed anywhere, anytime. When I go to Israel and the streets are covered with young men and women on liberty carrying their loaded M-16s, it makes me feel good. When I visit Ankara and drop by gunshops and see the old folks pulling out engraved revolvers and showing them off to each other, I feel like they've saved something that we've lost over here.

The only folks that should be wary of armed citizens are the bad guys and the government.

-Don

[ronwill]

If he can pass my interview (interrogation) the fact that he carries legally would be of little concern.

[Soke]

How they conduct themselves depends entirely on how they were raised. They're either jumping on each other or they aren't. It's about the values they were taught and their personal values.

I strongly disagree, but that's another topic.

[WVMountainBoy]

I don't have children so my opinion is worthless, but I'll throw it in anyhow. If the chap had gone through the trouble of getting a legal permit and had worked to buy a firearm then it would give him a few points in my eyes. I would expect to meet and talk with any gent who expected to take my daughter anyplace, I'd hope that at that point he gave me a good impression and showed he was mature enough to have said weapon. If he showed otherwise, he'd find a new date.

[ultramag44]

IF, I SAY IF Barback OBama is elected, the point will be moot. The government will dictate whom she dates, and whom she marries.

It will be part of the "redistrobution of wealth" project. Mandatorilly requiring intelligent families to be paired w/ marginal families.

As Joe Bidden says: "It's about fairness".

[Polish_Pounder]

Like others have said, the point is nearly moot to me. No daughters, but an older sister (3 years). About 5 years ago, I was visiting her and a young marine (27 years old) came by to pick her up for a date. I told him that he was responsible for her safety and well-being this evening, and that if he wasn't up to the task he should go see that movie alone. He said "yes sir" (even though I was younger). I handed my sister her cell phone and said call me if there's any trouble, I'll be up, waiting. My sister later told me that he was surprised by me, but certainly thought that I would deck him if he so much as spilled his drink on the date. At 6'1" 170 lbs I am not a big guy ( and he was bigger than me), but it is usually pretty clear when anyone is dead-serious about something.

I would certainly be wary of an 18 year old packing a pistol, but if he was licensed I wouldn't have a problem with it provided he didn't have a macho attitude. I hope I never have a daughter.

-Polish

[3pairs12]

I think that it depends entirely on the indivdual. That decision can't be made on a hypthitical basis. I also agree with 16 ga I don't like anybody dating my daughter. She is only 10 now so its still a little ways off but the first thing I will do her first serious boyfriend is take him hog doggin and let the rodent see how I handle my knife.

[cerberus65]

If he carries concealed, how will you know?

[Loosedhorse]

I will always own enough shotguns that one will be in sore need of cleaning when the fine young lad comes to pick her up. He'll get the Hoppes No. 9 handshake, along with my assurances that the gun is just about clean, so it'll be all put back together, and loaded, by the time "you two get back."

If he looks at me quizzically, I simply whisper, "It's her shotgun--didn't she tell you?"

:)

[JohnnyOrygun]

Mr. 16 Gauge

Well Said!
My six year old asked my wife about her dating experience! :what:

My wife about flipped! Then we both told her she is not allowed to date until she is 30 and even then I will meet the boy with my 12 gauge! :D

But as to the OP's question, it would depend on the kid... as others have said, some 16 year old boys are mature beyond their age and I know 24 year old boys, who are almost as mature as my 6 year old daughter. So I guess, as others have said, it depends on the boy/man. IMHO

Little John

[Limeyfellow]

When I started dating my wife I was met at the door by my future father in law with a shotgun and given a demonstration of what would happen if I ever did something wrong. Suffice to say I didn't and am still alive. That was 10 years ago.

There is no way I will let any daughters date till they are in their 80s.

[Birdhunter1]

Interesting that most everyone on here has the upmost respect for our military men most of which joined the service at the age of 18. A bunch of 18 year old with guns, what were they thinking?

[ziggy222]

as long as he's a democrat i'm fine with it

[Dksimon]

Character of the kid would be my main question.
Theres a big difference between a gangbanger showing up thinkin hes cool toting a piece, and a level headed individual who carries because he wants to protect himself and his date.

That would be one of the best signals to look for

[ny32182]

If she can't make good decisions by 17, she can't make good decisions... battle is won or lost long before you "show up at the door with a shotgun" or whatever.;)

I'd expect the crew here to be happy their daughter was dating someone of like mind.:)

[ZeSpectre]

If I can't trust him with a firearm, then I definitely can't\couldn't\wouldn't trust him with my daughter!

Yup, that pretty much sums it up for me.

[rojocorsa]

(From my point of view)
Because I am a young guy, and I would be one of those boys you guys are talking about, I would be thrilled and would look forward to spending range time with the father in question. It is a good way to get to know each other, don't you think?

[NG VI]

I don't like anyone who dates my daughter (who just turned 17), so the point is MOOT!


Got a daughter on the way, have a feeling I'll be taking the same policy.

[red headed stranger]

A young man carrying a concealed weapon would not be a dealbreaker for me. If he and my daughter deem him trustworthy enough for them to go out together, then he passes the test for carrying a weapon.

Neither my wife or I make maturity determinations based on age. We were both exceedingly responsible when we were in our preteens and had lots of responsibility in our families at what would be considered "too young" by many. She has "adult" brothers we would never trust with a gun. They are also not trusted with our children.

A sore point for my wife and I when we were growing up was the way that some people treated us based merely on age. Most adults did trust us, so the distrust was particularly glaring when it happened. I will not do the same to others.

[ProShooter]

I wouldnt let any 18 year old man date my daughter without a handgun to defend her, as I would. Shoulder that rifle son, and drive the enemy back!

[Geno]

I see it as a positive, not a negative. Too, I would be meeting face-to-face the young man who might inherit my firearms. Doubtful he'd sell them to buy beer.

My 14-year-old daughter has repeatedly said that any man she marries will have to be just like her dad: sport a beard and like firearms.

Great thread topic...thanks.

Doc2005

[rhweb32]

It depends on the person. I've been carrying a CCW since I was 18, but on the other hand, I've been a police officer since 18.

Case by Case basis, I guess.

[flor1]

My daughters are adults and I still don't like anyone that want's to date them.:mad:

[Sistema1927]

Having gone through that strange stage of life some years ago, I have one significant question:

How can the ugliest, stupidest young man ever to walk the face of the earth be the father of the handsomest, smartest grandchildren ever born?

(In other words, NOBODY is ever good enough for your little girl.)

[Sistema1927]

Double Tap. Bang, bang!

[krs]

Mine's 23 and safely married now, but the thought that I might have had ANYTHING to say about who or what she dated when she was 17 makes for a nice pipe dream.

[Ala Dan]

No problem, so long as he assumed all liability for his actions~! ;)

FWIW, heck my daughter has had a valid Alabama pistol license
since she was 18; issued my the late former sheriff Melvin Bailey,
one of the toughest in the business~! In this case, I guess its
a case if the shoe fits; then wear it. :D

[Chuhhuniban]

This is an interesting thread. It brings up a topic I never thought about before. From the time I was 16, I carried a S&W .38 Special in my car (that was about 1955, as a point of reference) all the time (including in the high school parking lot). I was not alone, I knew of six or eight other guys who had weapons in their cars all the time too.

I dated a number of girls over my years in high school and college. Some of them "found" the gun, some didn't. I didn't carry it concealed on my person, the only holster I had was a giant leather thing with outside straps and buckles and was about as concealable as a small suitcase. Of the ones who found it, two or three asked me to teach them to shoot it (which I did — at a range, with what were I am sure, tiresome safety lectures). Two Dads of girls I dated learned of the gun from their daughters, but neither one expressed any particular problem with me carrying it. One of them got his almost-identical S&W out and we compared them.

I was taught to handle firearms by a retired Cavalry Major and an ex-Infantry Sergeant in the years right after WW II. Neither of them was particularly hesitant to damage my tender psyche by criticizing bad handling practices (in colorful language even). I think they figured harming my self-esteem was preferable to having me put holes in them or the car or something else important.

Interesting. Like I said, I never really thought about it before.

Oh yeah, before somebody asks, it was Arizona and Texas in high school and Georgia in college. And I turned away from revolvers to Colt Governments.

[moooose102]

i plan on beating off any boy with a baseball bat untill my daughter is 50!
but seriously, i would do a lot of checking up on the boy. if he seemed like a mature individule, it would be ok. but if he was a punk, i would meet him at the door with the baseball bat! and there wouldn't be any date.

[MarcusWendt]

I don't like anyone who dates my daughter (who just turned 17), so the point is MOOT!

Exactly!

That having been said, in the unlikely event that I did like the little bastard I'd take him to the range and see how he does, talk to him about his theories on CCW and personal defense. If he needs more training I'd help him. If he was an idiot he wouldn't be dating my daughter.

[Mad Magyar]

When I was 18, dating meant only one thing: "raging hormones" is the clue. If my daughter was the demure, submissive type in her personality; saying NO to someone "packing heat"; both in this case: she might feel intimidated by rejecting his advances.
I say NO: not with my daughter. Please, don't give me "the old enough to fight" for your country business. I was in the service at 18. I wasn't ready for many things....Sorry....:uhoh:

[NGIB]

I always gave my daughters the benefit of the doubt so I never had to shoot any of their boyfriends (although my wife figured I should on GP). Whether he carries or not is moot to me as long as he's legal to do so if he does.

Raising girls is a character building experience to be sure - one that everyone should experience. BTW, both of mine are married and I actually like my son-in-laws...

[NoirFan]

No, I would not.

Just about every 16-18 year old I have met at a firing range, gun show or gun store has has left a definite "macho ******bag" impression with me. I suppose this is a libel against the responsible 18-year-old gun toters out there, but if it's my children we're talking about I don't really care.

[Heraclid]

To all of you saying you'd want him to carry and protect your daughter, I understand, but make sure your daughter can do that for herself. Then she can take him to the range and evaluate him for herself. If it scares him off for instance, wrong dude. If he isn't responsible with firearms, wrong dude. If he can't handle it that she shoots better than him, wrong dude, etc.

Most people wouldn't think twice about this I'm afraid - it would be a very definite no, I think. Wrong or right, that's where I think most folks are at on this.

Counterpoint is this - if he is the kind of guy who thinks she is really cool for carrying and thinks a gun-toting young lady is just hot as hell, that could perhaps be a problem too. :-)

[Gunnerpalace]

Either he is OK to see your child or he isn't. Regardless of CCW.

I agree with that statement.

[1858rem]

im only 18 my self an cant get a ccw yet. ummm... i'd probably buddy up an ask "jes where the hell didja git that anyhow":evil: lol oh yah... an id have a problem with someone dating my daughter no matter ccw or not.

[earlthegoat2]

hopefully he is really good at keeping the fact that he is packing from you

[ChemicalArts]

The restrictions for the CHL in Texas preclude a fair number of things that I worry about most when it comes to young men:
To be eligible for a Texas Concealed Handgun License, you:

Must be a legal resident of Texas, or apply for a non-resident license
Must be at least 21, unless active duty or honorable discharged from the military, then at least 18
Must not ever have been convicted of a FELONY
Must not be currently charged with a Class A or Class B MISDEMEANOR or FELONY
Must not be chemically dependant, including alcohol
Must be capable of exercising sound judgment
Must not have been convicted of a Class A or Class B misdemeanor, or a disorderly conduct in the past 5 years
Must be fully qualified under federal and state laws to purchase a handgun
Must not be delinquent in any payments to the state of Texas, including child support, taxes, and Texas Guaranteed Student Loans
Must not be restricted by a protective or restraining order involving a person
Must not have been prosecuted for a felony grade juvenile delinquent conduct in the previous 10 years
See: http://www.txdps.state.tx.us/ftp/forms/ls-16.pdf#page=9

Class B misdemeanor's include DWI in Texas (which is my biggest concern when anyone I care about is out on the road.)

I've seen the statistics for crime by CHL holders vs the general population. CHL holders are far less likely to commit crimes than the average man on the street:
http://www.texasshooting.com/TexasCHL_Forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=17975
http://www.txdps.state.tx.us/administration/crime_records/chl/convrates.htm

All that said, the OP was asking about an 18 year-old picking up a 17 year-old daughter...I don't have experience with daughters. I have a 6 year-old son. I wouldn't trust him with a gun yet, but I wouldn't let him pick up your daughter just yet either.