Intentionally DON'T ccw.


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jackdanson
October 16, 2008, 03:20 PM
Okay, I'm putting my flame suit on now. Does anyone else here intentionally NOT carry a firearm with them because of their temper? I know this sounds like a bait/troll question, but I'm serious.

I used to carry quite a bit the time until recently. I was driving to work and accidently cut two guys in an explorer off. They started road raging, which I didn't really attempt to de-escalate at all. I ignored them for about a 1/2 mile then presented them with a one finger salute. They slammed on their brakes and started following me. At this point I didn't think "head to the police station", "call the police", or "how do I get away?". I thought "You dumb, dumb people, go ahead and follow me to work, you'll get what's coming". They eventually turned off, so it all ended well, but I haven't carried since. I'm younger (25) so maybe as I get older I'll cool down a bit, but until then I'm not going to carry anymore. From 14-20 I got in fights fairly often due to my quick temper, but grew out of it, partly because of maturity and partly because I knew I couldn't cheat serious consequences forever. I feel the chance of me spending time in jail over a questionable shooting isn't worth the chance.

But then again, what if they HAD followed me or HAD weapons themselves? Then this could have turned out completly differently, and I may have been thankful I was carrying. ahh, I'm conflicted. Sorry for the rant, anyone have any relevant experience/ideas?

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qajaq59
October 16, 2008, 03:31 PM
I'd say your decision NOT to carry, for now at least, is a darn good one.

I'll be interested to see how this thread goes though.

RONSTAR
October 16, 2008, 03:39 PM
Ummm whos making the popcorn.

Hoplophile
October 16, 2008, 03:45 PM
I think that's a very responsible choice.

Corporal K
October 16, 2008, 03:50 PM
No, but a couple of my friends have stopped carrying for exactly that reason.
When you're carrying, it is your DUTY to de-escalate or at least not escalate or antagonize.
Packing when you can't control your temper will land you in prison, the morgue, or broke (from a lawsuit).

Good call on not carrying, but work on your self-control.

rainbowbob
October 16, 2008, 04:03 PM
The fact that you recognize your tendency to escalate conflict and choose NOT to carry as a response shows remarkable insight and maturity.

Perhaps you should consider finding some form of training (e.g., martial arts?) that would teach you how to de-escalate conflict.

You seem to have enough personal insight to know when you will be ready to resume CCW.

North of 49th
October 16, 2008, 04:12 PM
Good decision. I have to say I congratulate you on being able to make that judgment about yourself.

Dgreno
October 16, 2008, 04:17 PM
As others have said, your decision shows utmost maturity. The fact that you can recognize those traits in your self shows us that you are very wise. I agree with Rainbowbob in trying martial arts as a means of learning to control your self as well as deescalate hard situations. You, sir, are a man among men.

bdickens
October 16, 2008, 04:37 PM
Try meditation. Meditation works wonders on one's temperament.

BBQLS1
October 16, 2008, 04:46 PM
IMO, you did the right thing. People have to decide if CCW is right for them. Hopefully, it'll click in your heart that getting upset isn't really what you want to do.

MT GUNNY
October 16, 2008, 04:48 PM
Key word you said ACCIDENTALLY, (Crap Happens ) People cut me off all the time and I honk and through up my arms and thats it. If someone other than your self Escalates the situation to the point your life is in danger then dont hesitate to show your stuff! We all make mistakes and that dont mean you cant defend your self.

The Bushmaster
October 16, 2008, 05:11 PM
Consider packing again. You are aware of the temper you have and that you need to keep it in check. If they had continued to esculate the situation and you were not armed. Where would you be now? Remember this at all times while packin'...You have the gun...You don't have to prove anything and you can afford to be a kinder gentler person because you do have the ability to destroy, but wish not to.

I have a real bad temper and have learned to control it. Good luck with yours...

markk
October 16, 2008, 05:14 PM
If you don't trust yourself to carry, then don't.

DoubleTapDrew
October 16, 2008, 05:37 PM
I'd work on the temper so you can carry regularly. If you end up needing it you'll REALLY need it. If your temper controls your actions you'll be doing time or be killed yourself. In the situation above you escalated things (flipping them off) which could really hurt a claim of self defense.

jnyork
October 16, 2008, 05:41 PM
Most common sense decision I have read about here. A manly thing to do. Hope you can resolve your problems.

Picard
October 16, 2008, 05:43 PM
I also think that it's very mature of you to make the choice not to carry if you feel like you may hurt someone. Carrying a firearm is a big responsibility.

csmkersh
October 16, 2008, 07:21 PM
Okay, I'm putting my flame suit on now. Does anyone else here intentionally NOT carry a firearm with them because of their temper? I know this sounds like a bait/troll question, but I'm serious.

No, not for my temper. I've found that I'm far less likely to be confrontational when I'm carrying.

I do deliberately NOT CARRY when I know I'm going to be drinking alcohol. Not because alcohol causes you do do stupid things; it lowers your inhibitions and allows you to do something you wish to do but wouldn't if you were at zero percent BAC.

Also, it's against Texas law (http://tlo2.tlc.state.tx.us/statutes/docs/PE/content/htm/pe.010.00.000046.00.htm#46.035.00):

46.035 Unlawful Carrying of a handgun by licensee

(d) A license holder commits an offense if, while
intoxicated, the license holder carries a handgun under the
authority of Subchapter H, Chapter 411, Government Code, regardless
of whether the handgun is concealed.

2nd 41
October 16, 2008, 07:39 PM
Intentionally DON'T ccw.
I'm with you. I concealed at my place of business for 25 years. (due to being held up). But refuse to carry in my car. And nothing leaves the house. I'm cool and in control of myself. But I'm also human. I hate frkn aggressive, reckless drivers. I always say to my wife when we're driving somewhere....Glad I'm not carrying.
BTW....good thread

damien
October 16, 2008, 07:46 PM
I was kinda like that when I was 25 also. You will mellow out.

crotalus01
October 16, 2008, 08:04 PM
I am 38, and up until about 7 years ago chose not to carry for the same reasons as you. Your temper will definitely cool as you age and realise most things arent worth the stress of getting mad over.

orionengnr
October 16, 2008, 08:11 PM
Just remember, just because you choose not to carry does not mean that the people you antagonize have made the same choice.

Keep flipping people off and escalating the situation, and you may find yourself perforated.

230RN
October 16, 2008, 08:32 PM
If I can offer a suggestion?

Practice in your mind various situations, driving or otherwise, where something could happen, and then imagine yourself either ignoring it or deescalating it.

I don't have much of a temper, but after all, things do happen on the road, and sometimes you're the idjit and sometimes the other guy. If the situation is right, if the other guy can see you, mouthing "Sorry" lets him figure he's won, and that he's taught you a lesson.

A kind of apologetic wave of your hand back and forth also works, a kind of "Sorry, you're right" wave along with an apologetic head shaking. Can't describe that one in words too well, but I think you can figure it out. Just a "body language" kind of thing.

Tailgaters? Slowly drop back behind the car in front of you, not to teach the guy behind you a lesson, but simply to allow a little more warning to him if something happens in front of you. That "1 car length per 10mph" rule becomes a few extra car lengths in front of you to make up for his only 1/4 car length per 10 mph of the guy behind you.

Cut off? Not much you can do to lessen the danger but again, slowly allow the distance to open.

If my arithmetic is right, at 50 MPH, dropping back 50 feet means 0.68 seconds of time lost.

BFD. If you get cut off five times on a trip and you drop back that five car lengths each time, you've lost a whooooole biiiiig 3.4 seconds. BFD.

After I got my carry license, I thought about it and found that "rehearsing" or "self-training" myself with a couple of situations that can and have happened in driving, in bringing something back to a store, and other potential conflict situations, helped a lot. Even though I really didn't have that much of a temper in the first place.

Remember. Just like in firearms practice. You will revert to your training in times of stress. Just practice not getting ticked off in various rehearsal situations.

You will revert to that training.

Ghost Walker
October 16, 2008, 08:39 PM
:) Jack, I rather admire you for posting that experience and your reaction.

Let me say this: If you're mature and responsible enough to resist carrying a weapon then (Ready?) you're, also, grownup enough to carry that same weapon, too. I'm much older than you. Here's what I did the last time someone began screaming at me in public for my lousy driving. I just kept repeating to myself; 'I'm the one with the big gun.' 'I have to be more self-disciplined than the other guy.' 'I'm a Life NRA member; and, I don't want to do anything to feed the news whores on TV.' 'The other guy can get mad, and throw a fit in public; I can't!' That's how I got through the experience.

The second time something like this happened to me; the guy began to tail me. He stayed with me for quite awhile. He must have been a local resident because the moment I turned onto the road to our police station, he quickly sped off in an opposite direction. Too late, though, because I already had his license plate; and, I gave it to the police who told me that I had done everything exactly correct. (That message was delivered while a lieutenant eyed the bulge of my G-21 under my shirt!)

The police told me that these incidents are VERY COMMON. Our small town receives more than 50 road rage complaints each month. If you're going to carry, you need to develop an appropriate psychological response for incidents of this type. The state granted you the right to carry that pistol because you've already demonstrated that you're not as big a jerk as the next guy is likely to be. So, be a good NRA member; and, the next time some idiot does something outrageous in order to test your mettle, show him that you're made of, 'better stuff' than he is.

Try smiling, yielding, or just giving way. Don't do what you'd really like to do and give anyone the finger - It'll only make things worse. Besides, you're already better than the other guy anyway. In my old age, whenever they start to tailgate me, I pull over at the first opportunity and let 'um race on by. If someone wants a parking space, heck, I'll give them that too.

(Works like a charm!) ;)

jakemccoy
October 16, 2008, 08:51 PM
jackdanson,

You sound like a rational, reasonable, responsible, mature person. I'm glad you're a gun owner. Whether you carry or not is entirely your decision and your decision alone.

-Jake

Treo
October 16, 2008, 08:56 PM
I'm a human being as such, I am not a slave to, or the victim of, my passions. Part of carrying a weapon is the decision to deliberately exercise self control.

My hand can niether flip the bird nor draw a gun against my will.

This strikes me as a perfect opportunity to flex those self control muscles.

Fat Boy
October 16, 2008, 09:10 PM
I would add my voice to those already posting; you are way ahead of the game to recognize the issue and try to deal with it in a mature, responsible way, and until you get a greater comfort level with things, I think not carrying makes great sense.

I think Rainbow Bob nailed it:

The fact that you recognize your tendency to escalate conflict and choose NOT to carry as a response shows remarkable insight and maturity.

Perhaps you should consider finding some form of training (e.g., martial arts?) that would teach you how to de-escalate conflict.

You seem to have enough personal insight to know when you will be ready to resume CCW

gregthehand
October 16, 2008, 09:18 PM
Lexapro....

CSA 357
October 16, 2008, 09:22 PM
:d thats a good one!

MachIVshooter
October 16, 2008, 09:35 PM
While your decision not to carry in recognizing that you may use an unwarranted (deadly) level of force is a mature, I don't believe your attitude is a dangerous one. If you had been thinking about drawing on them while driving down the road, you would be a danger. But to think to yourself "these guys are gonna regret following me all the way to my destination and starting a conflict there" is similar to my own mind set. While I can't remember the last time I gave someone the bird in traffic, I have had to deal with road rage like anyone else, and am definitely glad I carry in case the other guy is a hot head with a weapon who just can't let it go.

It's been awhile though, since I quit driving my Intrepid. Sometimes the right vehicle is all it takes for potential ragers to think "maybe I should leave this guy alone".

http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n117/Hunter2506/Aspenfront.jpg

wally
October 16, 2008, 09:43 PM
I refuse to give up my First Amendment Right to express my opinion when exercising my Second Amendment Rights.

Sounds to me like more reason to carry as they started following you, and you need to be ready should they continue to escalate.

So guess I am the minority view, but unless you were thinking of pulling your piece to "scare 'em" or some other stupidity where you would clearly be in the wrong, I'm damn glad I am carrying in these situations.

I drive on the freeway way too much and too often am involved in these things where only my driving skill prevents a wreck and the pinhead gets PO'd at me for hitting the horn as I hit the brakes and starts rage'ng at me. Having the CCW gives me great comfort in these situations which put me at high alert the rest of the day.

--wally.

jonmerritt
October 16, 2008, 10:20 PM
I do have a temper, but I have never, and never will, draw a weapon in anger.

jackdanson
October 16, 2008, 10:33 PM
Thanks for the responses guys!

I'm a human being as such, I am not a slave to, or the victim of, my passions. Part of carrying a weapon is the decision to deliberately exercise self control.

My hand can niether flip the bird nor draw a gun against my will.

This strikes me as a perfect opportunity to flex those self control muscles.

I agree, and I strive to improve myself.

Lexapro....

Hah, I was on zoloft for a while and it definetly helped some, but there were a lot of side effects.

Sounds to me like more reason to carry as they started following you, and you need to be ready should they continue to escalate.

I agree on a certain level, but most of society wouldn't agree with that... meaning if something did happen I would have to prove it to a jury of my "peers", not a jury of intelligent high-roaders.

It's been awhile though, since I quit driving my Intrepid. Sometimes the right vehicle is all it takes for potential ragers to think "maybe I should leave this guy alone".

Hah, nice car.. yeah I used to have a 94 mustang cobra and I used the "taillight" method of self-defense once before. The grand am stuffed with guys wasn't really a match.

As far as martial arts goes, it's a good idea and I've always wanted to do that, but I work an odd schedule so getting into a class was going to be a hassle.

Kentak
October 16, 2008, 10:37 PM
I think it's a wise person who knows himself objectively enough to make that kind of a decision. Knowing that one's temper might flare up to the point of making a very bad decision to use deadly force inappropriately is one case. Another might be the person who has doubts about his ability to actually use the deadly force when it *is* justified. In that case, his hesitation could lead to the gun being used against himself.

If you know that your anger has caused problems in your personal or work life, or caused a foolish escalation of minor incidents, there are resources for learning how to deal with anger. Anger is a natural emotion we all feel--it's letting the anger make us do things that are, ultimately, unproductive or harmful to us and our relationships with others.

Good luck. You'll know when you've got better control to safely carry.

K

david_the_greek
October 16, 2008, 10:41 PM
I give you props, if you can recognize that, you're really older than your 25yrs. Hopefully you'll feel comfortable in the future carrying again, ya never know when ya might need it.

JT in VA
October 16, 2008, 10:46 PM
Certain emotions such as rage, jealousy, pride (not pride in your self but being too prideful) are wasted emotions that lead to stress and cause problems.

antsi
October 16, 2008, 11:51 PM
I refuse to give up my First Amendment Right to express my opinion when exercising my Second Amendment Rights.

Like any right, it is up to us to exercise them responsibly.

Like, going into a biker bar and making remarks at the patrons calling into question their heterosexuality. I guess I have a first amendment right to express that opinion, but that doesn't mean it's an intelligent thing to do.

Byron Quick
October 17, 2008, 12:32 AM
My temper normally has a very long fuse

I used to run a furniture store-sales, collections, repossessions.

If I could collect the money owed me, I could retire even if I invested in CD's. And could have retired in 1991 at the age of 36.

What got to me was the people who smirked at me and told me they were planning on screwing me over when they bought $2000 worth of merchandise.

Had several incidents where I either escalated the tension or allowed it to unfold as it would. Guy I was repossessing said he was going to go get his gun. I calmly told him to go get and that I would be waiting right here in his living room. He never came back.

I realized that I was basically getting crazy over the situation. That I was going to wind up dead or in prison. So I quit the furniture business and returned to college to change careers. And I quit carrying for over ten years.

In 1998, I began to carry again. No problems, no confrontations. My fuse is back to its normal length. Before, I was to the point that I needed to be in a society that condoned duels.

An honest look into yourself is necessary when making the decision to carry and that look needs to be done on a daily basis. You need to ask yourself whether you are fit to follow your moral code and the law. I wasn't for quite some time. I didn't carry through the majority of that time period. But only sheer luck got me through the worst times without getting into bad trouble.

I refuse to give up my First Amendment Right to express my opinion when exercising my Second Amendment Rights.


If you refuse to control your mouth then you'd best avoid places where discretion is the better part of valor. Otherwise you will definitely someday find yourself in a position which is both tactically and strategically poor.

I made a comment under my breath one day admiring the beauty of a waitress in a Mexican restaurant. My buddy, who is fluent in Spanish, heard my comment. His reply was,"Byron, I don't know how many Mexicans it would take to whip your butt but I know how many they'd use." So I made the choice to exercise my First Amendment right in the privacy of my own mind in certain settings.

qajaq59
October 17, 2008, 07:01 AM
Here is a little trick we use to handle idiots on the roads. And we tour the USA in our motor home 4 or 5 months of the year.

Always let people pass you. In fact, pull over and stop if you have to, just to get them in front of you. They can't hit you if they're in front. Plus, they'll soon see another car and speed up so they can pass him too. And the more cars they pass the safer you get.

And relax. People as a rule really don't drive very well. It's a given.

Don't get mad or frustrated when someone does something stupid. You know that 85% of drivers are going to cut you off or some other such stupid thing, so don't be so surprised when they do what you already knew they're going to do. Just let it go and enjoy the ride.

Oh, and be careful going over the next hill as that same driver may be upside down in the road. Think I'm kidding huh? We had that happen going thru Memphis 2 years ago. He flew by us in a heavy rain and 5 miles up the road, there he was.

moooose102
October 17, 2008, 07:19 AM
i think, for now, you are doing the right thing. but you also need to get help in the form of anger management classes / counseling. i too WAS that way, until my mid FOURTIES. get the help you need now, and you will be able to carry again much sooner. plus, you wont have to deal with your rage on a daily basis. which will make you a much better person. my first born arrived when i was 43 years old. that has mellowed me out more than anything. but every once in a while (once a year or so) that rage surfaces again. also, one of the ways i dealt with my rage (until i screwed my back all up) was to take an axe and chop down an 8-12 " tree. it works! it is amazing how much tension you can relieve by killing something inanimate with your bare hands. good luck, you are going to need it!

rainbowbob
October 17, 2008, 02:06 PM
I was on zoloft for a while and it definitely helped some, but there were a lot of side effects.

This statement is also an indication of remarkable insight. You must have sought professional help at some point in order to get the zoloft. It helped but you did not like the side-effects (understandably).

Have you considered asking your doctor for something else with less side-effects? My daughter has a problem with depression and anxiety and hated zoloft. But Wellbutrin works great for her with little or no side-effects.

Vern Humphrey
October 17, 2008, 02:24 PM
I have found that carrying has a very good impact on self-control, and so many other people have spontaneously reported the same thing that I am inclined to say that carrying tends to make one more calm and gentlemanly.

lloydkristmas
October 17, 2008, 02:48 PM
I can have a temper problem as well, but I've found that when Im carrying a gun, the thought of using it in anger never crosses my mind. I've found that I may be mad enough to punch a hole through the wall or something, but would never consider grabbing my gun.

2nd 41
October 17, 2008, 05:18 PM
A little off subject
Here is a little trick we use to handle idiots on the roads. And we tour the USA in our motor home 4 or 5 months of the year.

Always let people pass you. In fact, pull over and stop if you have to, just to get them in front of you. They can't hit you if they're in front. Plus, they'll soon see another car and speed up so they can pass him too. And the more cars they pass the safer you get.

And relax. People as a rule really don't drive very well. It's a given.

Don't get mad or frustrated when someone does something stupid. You know that 85% of drivers are going to cut you off or some other such stupid thing, so don't be so surprised when they do what you already knew they're going to do. Just let it go and enjoy the ride.

Oh, and be careful going over the next hill as that same driver may be upside down in the road. Think I'm kidding huh? We had that happen going thru Memphis 2 years ago. He flew by us in a heavy rain and 5 miles up the road, there he was.
_
A little Off Subject? A driver cannot go wrong following your Rules Of the Road. Very well stated.

Stevie-Ray
October 18, 2008, 01:18 AM
No, not for my temper. I've found that I'm far less likely to be confrontational when I'm carrying. Same here. I seem to have a very short fuse. But I also have found that carrying seems to have a calming effect on me. And retirement hasn't hurt either. :)
Or maybe it's just the Amitriptyline.:D

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