Gun Poetry?


Abominable No-Man
September 24, 2003, 12:19 AM
Hello, THR,

This is a new one for me, don't know if anyone else has seen it. Found it browsing Jeff Cooper's Commentaries. I'm not a huge Jeff Cooper disciple, although I think he has a lot of very good points. I thought this was quite good, maybe a little hammy, but good.

(An Ode to the Rifle)

You hold in your hands the bow of Diana,
the spear of Achilles, the hammer of Thor.
Now you command both precision and distance.
To dominant power you've opened the door.

Your rifle embodies the gift of Hephaistos,
the grant of Olympus to hapless mankind.
Your rifle's a thing of both power and beauty.
It's proper employment ennobles the mind.

Bare-handed you live at the mercy of numbers,
but numbers can never match riflemen's skill.
Your rifle essentially makes you the master;
it creates and maintains humanities' will.

Vulcan has given you means to establish
divine domination o'er man, beast, and foe.
Your rifle's the sorcerous sceptre of power.
Direct it with wisdom and judgement bestow.

What do you all think? And has anyone run across any gun-oriented poetry before?


P.S. Anyone know who "Hephasistos" was supposed to be?:scrutiny:

If you enjoyed reading about "Gun Poetry?" here in archive, you'll LOVE our community. Come join today for the full version!
September 24, 2003, 12:22 AM


But Hera without union with Zeus--for she was very angry and quarreled with her mate--bare famous Hephaestus, who is skilled in crafts more than all the sons of Heaven.
But Hera was very angry and quarreled with her mate. And because of this strife she bore without union with Zeus who holds the aegis a glorious son, Hephaestus, who excelled all the sons of Heaven in crafts.

Hesiod, Theogony

Hera gave birth to Hephaestus without intercourse with the other sex, but according to Homer he was one of her children by Zeus. Him Zeus cast out of heaven, because he came to the rescue of Hera in her bonds. For when Hercules had taken Troy and was at sea, Hera sent a storm after him; so Zeus hung her from Olympus. Hephaestus fell on Lemnos and was lamed of his legs, but Thetis saved him.

Apollodorus, Library and Epitome

Sing, clear-voiced Muse, of Hephaestus famed for inventions. With bright-eyed Athena he taught men glorious crafts throughout the world, --men who before used to dwell in caves in the mountains like wild beasts. But now that they have learned crafts through Hephaestus the famed worker, easily they live a peaceful life in their own houses the whole year round.

September 24, 2003, 12:47 AM
Siegfried Sassoon, The Kiss ( He's a guy who's BTDT, it gives me chills...

September 24, 2003, 12:23 PM
Hmm, let me give it a try - what kind of gun rhymes with Nantucket?


September 24, 2003, 01:47 PM
Edited by moderator. Feedthehogs, please check your e-mail.

El Tejon
September 24, 2003, 01:58 PM
Didn't we have a TFL poetry corner? I can't stand clove cigarettes but I still look sharp in a jaunty beret and have been known, on the occassion, to drink coffee.:D

September 24, 2003, 02:22 PM
Its no fun
to run
from a nun
with a gun

4v50 Gary
September 24, 2003, 02:47 PM
Labinnac - are you running with gun in hand from a nun or are you running from a nun who is armed with a gun (and whatcha do to make her go for a gun instead of the ruler?). ;)

September 24, 2003, 03:02 PM
Some things just freak me out, nuns and clowns are two of them.

Clown doesn't rhyme with gun.

It's poetry so it can be interpreted as you wish.

September 24, 2003, 03:06 PM
Its no fun
to run
from a nun
with a gun

Okay, its my turn:

i met a man one day
at the local shooting range not far away
he told me he was into RKBA
he stood up and started blasting away
his target had very good grouping
i was curious as to what he was shooting
he had a smile on his lips
didn't know what to think
when i glanced at his grips
i realized, they were colored pink!


September 24, 2003, 03:46 PM
Glocks are black
Gubmints are blue
But either one
Can make a hole through you!

I think I'll go take a jasmine bubble bath now...


September 24, 2003, 05:41 PM
Here's mine:

Thirteen in the mag and one in the pipe
is my sure prescription to sleep well at night.

Place the holster under my pillow,
close my eyes and dreams will flow.

When I wake in the morning I fondle my gun.
Who thought that waking could be so much fun?

Shower, get dressed; lookin' sharp as a whistle,
I lace up my belt and strap on my pistol.


Okay, that's going nowhere. :rolleyes: :uhoh:
Anyway, this is a fun thread! :D


September 24, 2003, 06:04 PM
"BOOM! Boom! - Boomelay BOOM!"
My 1911 is the Finger Of DOOM:cool: !

*Gotta look that puppy up again, the rest of the stanzas were a hoot, but I'm Brainfarted for now.:rolleyes: *

Elmer Snerd
September 24, 2003, 06:36 PM
Gun Haiku (
More gun haiku (

guns are just objects
it is the user's intent
that is good or bad

September 24, 2003, 07:31 PM
I was about to start a haiku thread but might as well do it here...

Clear to make ready
Understand the course of fire?
Ready and standby....

September 24, 2003, 07:34 PM
Rudyard Kipling comes to mind.

"When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old b----.
She's a 'uman as you are,
Treat 'er as sich,
And she'll fight for the young British soldier."


"When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up the remains,
Roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
And go to your God like a soldier."

The poem may be called "Advice For The Young British Soldier," or something similar.

Brian Dale
September 24, 2003, 08:30 PM
Model Eleven
knows the bright morning cornfield...
pheasants call to me.

Abominable No-Man
September 24, 2003, 08:35 PM
Huh. Didn't think there's be this many responses.

All right, this isn't exactly poetry (oh, and sorry Keith, it doesn't rhyme with "Nantucket":neener: , either:D ), but it's been around for a while and a bunch of you current and former military guys may remember something similar:

"Running through the jungle with my M-16,
I'm the mean mother:cuss: wearing army green.
Black pajamas in the elephant grass
SAWs and sixties just ejecting brass.
Sight alignment, sight picture right between his eyes,
drop the hammer and another commie dies...."


Brian Dale
September 24, 2003, 08:40 PM
Didn't think there'd be this many responses.
With this crowd? I'm guessing that we ain't seen nothin' yet.

Brian Dale
September 24, 2003, 08:55 PM
"Ready on the Right!"
(Lake City M2 ball rocks!)
"Ready on the Left!" ...

(Sight picture, breathing)
"Ready on the Firing Line!"
(I watch my front sight ... )

September 24, 2003, 10:12 PM
The mind is the safety
Model twenty nine
All is right
Ding Hao


September 24, 2003, 10:30 PM
Raise and aim.
Hammer drops.
Justice comes full circle.

September 25, 2003, 12:17 AM
Abominable. I mean the poetry :)
You want gun poetry, I recommend reading pretty much anything by Kipling.

September 25, 2003, 12:21 AM
Yup, it's "The Young British Soldier". :)

"When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East,
'E acts like a babe and he drinks like a beast,
And 'e wonders because 'e's frequently deceased
'Ere he's fit to serve as a soldier." :cool:

September 25, 2003, 03:02 AM
I KNEW that would flush Tam out.:)


September 25, 2003, 10:56 AM
Alone far in the wilds and mountains I hunt,
wandering amazed at my own lightness and glee,
In the late afternoon choosing a safe spot to pass the night,
kindling a fire and broiling the fresh killed game,
Falling asleep on the gathered leaves with my dog and gun by my side.

~Walt Whitman~

September 25, 2003, 11:03 AM
More here ( :D

September 25, 2003, 12:26 PM
Gun Fu El Tejon
He trolls Indy seeking out
The young and nubile

Dan Flory bling bling
He rolls around his G-ride
Money ain't a thang

Elmer Snerd
September 25, 2003, 12:39 PM
handgun, 2 rifles
"gun nut's assault arsenal"
to the media

Rosie O'Donnell
can afford armed bodyguards
you serfs are just hosed

Senator Feinstein
has a Cal CC permit
such hypocrisy

it is time to ban
America's real problem
those assault lawyers

those darned evil guns
running aroung killing folks
by themselves you know

bank has "no guns" sign
robbers see it and give up
yeah, that will happen

are we on a list
monitored by government
just for posting here?

S has HTF
all who said "Whacko Gun Nut"
now want to be friends

guns don't stop crime, I
carry a "no guns allowed"
sign to keep me safe

Smokey Joe
September 25, 2003, 07:26 PM
Brother Lead and Sister Steel,
Let me know my target's real.
Sister Steel and Brother Lead,
Let me know my target's dead.

September 25, 2003, 08:14 PM
A little more Kipling: an excerpt from "THE 'EATHEN"

The young recruit is silly -- 'e thinks o' suicide;
'E's lost 'is gutter-devil; 'e 'asn't got 'is pride;
But day by day they kicks 'im, which 'elps 'im on a bit,
Till 'e finds 'isself one mornin' with a full an' proper kit.

Gettin' clear o' dirtiness, gettin' done with mess,
Gettin' shut o' doin' things rather-more-or-less;
Not so fond of abby-nay, kul, nor hazar-ho,
Learns to keep 'is rifle an' 'isself jus' so!

September 25, 2003, 08:57 PM
Mall Ninja haiku (, including a few by yours truly.

Brian Dale
September 25, 2003, 10:43 PM
Thanks, vertigo7; that was fun!

September 25, 2003, 11:32 PM
'it's Tommy this and Tommy that
and chuck him out, the brute....
But he's savior of his country
when the guns begin to shoot. Kipling

There still is a man from Nantucket;
got a gun that loads when you shuck it.
Either buckshot or slugs,
Wipe the smirks off the mugs
of perps who should fail to duck it.

September 26, 2003, 08:21 AM
I just knew if I waited long enough somebody would come up with a rhyme for "nantucket"...

El Tejon
September 26, 2003, 09:11 AM
Skunky of Left Coast
With banjo, rice, M9 walks Earf
seeking true gun fu.

September 26, 2003, 10:15 PM
Tactical speed draw
Doubletaps, kiai "REEEHAW!!!!"
Flawless victory.

Brian Dale
September 26, 2003, 10:48 PM
We of The High Road
know BadGuys cannot achieve
Skunkability *

(* definition: extreme tacticality, used by the forces of Good)

September 27, 2003, 01:08 AM
[to Brad Paisley's Celebrity]

'Cause when you've got Skunkability
It's infinite tacticality
No matter what they say
You'll carry your HK and carbon fiber that goes with
Having Skunkability

[banjo break]

Roadkill Coyote
September 27, 2003, 02:36 AM
The lawful ones
get snagged on a statute-
goblins wear no coats

September 27, 2003, 10:14 AM
Tejon, that second line has 8 syllables, is that a Haiku +P? :D

El Tejon
September 27, 2003, 12:49 PM
Skunk, say M9 the militree way or just say "9", home skillet.:p

If you enjoyed reading about "Gun Poetry?" here in archive, you'll LOVE our community. Come join today for the full version!