Frustration: Guns, Age, Parents, etc.


September 24, 2003, 09:24 PM

I'm quite frustrated. A week ago, I was excited. My scheming mind was wheeling past the speed limit, because I found a great little pistol at a great little price.

I'm sure by now it's no secret that I'm 19, and cannot buy my own pistol due to unconstitutional Federal Law. So, when I found this pistol, I [once again] crawled to my parents and begged for understanding. Now, my Dad is generally quite moody (whose Dad isn't?), so I asked my Mom. When she pretty much said "Okay," I told the gent that I would take it. Well, my Mom told my Dad, who seems to love being a control freak by telling me what to do with my money. "Absolutely not," said he.

My Mom says he'll soften up, but so far I've seen nothing promising. Also, my Mom, whose attitude seems to sway according to whom she is speaking :fire: , has started asking things like, "Why do you need another pistol?" and, "If you get this, are you going to be happy, or is this going to be a continuing thing?" [ :evil: ]

Well, at present, my Mother seems to be more on my side. She is trying to get my Dad to consent to this pistol purchase, but she has given me the ultimatum: "If you get this, it's going to be the LAST ONE."

WTH? I'm going to get this pistol, even if I have to do it around my parents' backs.

So is it just me, or are my parent's being a little too possessive? A little too controlling? Am I being unreasonable to want to spend my money the way I want to, but need help from someone older? How is this any different than having my parents come with me to a car dealership?

I anxiously await your responses.


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September 24, 2003, 09:32 PM
You state that if they do not let you get it, you will get it "behind their backs." You realize that to do so is a federal felony? And then you get no guns at all. Unless, of course, you wait until you're 21 to go "behind their backs."

edit: Yes, I feel that it is a stupid law too, but it unfortunately is the law.

September 24, 2003, 09:37 PM
If this is the one you really want, than go ahead. You can then enjoy the ones you have for the next couple of years until you can buy them yourself.

If you're not sure, and think there may be another one you want more, then wait. It stinks, but try to make the best of the situation. Remember, thatsome people can't have ANY guns

September 24, 2003, 09:45 PM
You state that if they do not let you get it, you will get it "behind their backs." You realize that to do so is a federal felony? And then you get no guns at all.

Not true, it is not illegal for an 18 year old and up to own or possess a handgun, only to buy it from an FFL dealer. If his 21 year old friend buys it and sells it to him that is totally legal assuming his friend is not an FFL as well. This is federal law, state law may be different. Now, if you go behind their backs and get this and they find out, you'll not be getting another until you're 21 and moved out, I can almost promise you that. My parents wouldn't get me pistol before my 21st birthday, I didn't get rifles until I was over 18. My parents are weary of things there are laws against (namely since I can't buy one I shouldn't have one). Otherwise, now they are very accepting of my gun ownership. Anyways, don't lose your parents trust or your father may take all your guns...

September 24, 2003, 09:48 PM
19's a PITA, but it won't last for ever. If this gun is cool enough to be the only one for the next TWO WHOLE YEARS, the go for it. Sneaking around behind your parents back could prove to be far more trouble than it's worth, both legally and at home. If you can get the gun on the up and up then do so. If not hold out. It gives you time to save for a better gun. when your 21 you can by whatever the heck you can afford.

September 24, 2003, 09:56 PM
You left out a few things Wes. Do you have a job? Do you pay for your car including gas and insurance? Do you go to college and pay for tuition and books or help pay for it? Do you have a cell phone and do you pay the bill?

Guns to shoot for fun are something you buy with disposable income. Maybe your Dad is trying to get you to understand that you need to save some money for that rainy day or an emergency. I know it seems far off, but someday, I'm willing to bet you'll have a different perspective.


September 24, 2003, 10:06 PM
When my parents got divorced when I was 16 my dad and I figured guns would be a good father son activity for the weekends and such.

My mother was a frothing anti actually she was anti everything and an overall angry person.

So the guns stayed at my dads apartment. Even the one I bought with my own money.

Finally when I was 17 he let me take them home but I had to hide them.

I had a few close calls with mommy dearest once when she caught me reloading and one time she was alerted to the smell of hoppes when I was cleaning my MKII.

Move out time did not come soon enough....

Be patient Fumegator your time will come, and then you will be an old gun nut with 2 gun safes full like the rest of us.

September 24, 2003, 10:07 PM be 19 again...

Old Fuff
September 24, 2003, 10:11 PM

I know where you’re coming from …….

I was once in your position, but that was well over a half-century ago. During a half-century you can buy an awful lot of guns. But that’s only part of the story. There is something more important then guns, and that is understanding them.

Many people own guns, and sometimes they own a bunch of them. But when push comes to shove they really don’t know a lot about them, nor how too get the most out of what they have.

There is no age limit on knowledge. From some of your previous posts I know you have a Browning Hi-Power (or at least I think you do). How much do you really know about it? It’s history, how it works and how to shoot it in the most accurate way possible? I knew a man, a Brit. SAS officer, who could hit a silhouette target at 200 yards with his Browning. Can you?

You have two years too go. Yes, I know it is a stupid law, but it is the law. If your parents will let you buy some more handguns, fine. But if they don’t you will survive. Most of the rest of us have, and you are old enough to understand that for some things you have to wait. But don’t worry your day will come.

My future is mostly behind me, but yours is just about to begin. In the years to come you will own many guns, and some of them you will treasure for a lifetime.

In the meantime if you can’t acquire more guns spend some time acquiring more knowledge. Learn anything and everything for the day when you will be able to buy your own guns. You still have the Browning, and frankly that’s not shabby. I could easily spend two years and longer just trying to master it. You still have a lot too learn, so get at it.

September 24, 2003, 10:30 PM
Well, I guess I was a little mad when I said I'd go around their backs... that just wouldn't be smart. But I sure will be mad if this doesn't end up working.

I guess I should have been a little more clear -- it's not really 2 years, it's 14 months. I'm almost 20.

You left out a few things Wes. Do you have a job?


Do you pay for your car including gas and insurance?

Yes all around.

Do you go to college and pay for tuition and books or help pay for it?

Yep, pay for it all.

Do you have a cell phone and do you pay the bill?

No, don't have a cellphone. Don't need one, don't really want one.

Old Fuff, I can really see what you're saying. I really do want to learn a lot about the BHP, and, well... That's why this one is another Hi Power. :D

This one is a FEG clone, and to say the price is right would be the understatement of understatements. I want it so that I won't be as afraid to learn to detail strip and do some customizing. Learning to do that on a 600 dollar gun, while still a reasonable idea, just makes my butt pucker... but with one that is 1/3 that price, I can deal with that a little better.

I know that the post sounded like things were looking bad, which is mostly true, it has been looking quite a bit up... my BIG beef is that it is what I want to do with my money, and it isn't hurting a darn thing to just have my parents help me out in obtaining it. That's all they have to do. I can do all the rest by myself, even get the ammo.

I suppose I've calmed a bit since my original post, but I just don't understand the need for them to be stubborn.


Edit: I guess I'm the one of those 3 kinds of people that can't add... I've got 15 months until I'm 21, not 14. Three months until I'm twenty.

Futo Inu
September 25, 2003, 04:41 PM
When I was a teenager, I paid for everything myself except food, including my clothing, car, gas, insurance, spending money, and after age 18, apartment, tuition, and books, too - everything (I mean, me and student loans - no parental help) - so of course my parents wouldn't dream telling me how I could spend my money, whether I lived with them or not. I can't imagine why they think they would be able to tell you - just because you eat the food at their home, and get free room, I suppose is somewhat of a reason. Buying it legally - whole nuther matter.

Old Fuff
September 25, 2003, 04:53 PM
There are two kinds of parents …..

Those who are “stubborn” because they care …. and those who are not, because they don’t. Consider yourself lucky. But of course you don’t see it that way now, but wait until you have kids …..

Hk Paul
September 25, 2003, 06:02 PM
...LAST ONE." AHHHH I never want to hear that.

Im 18. I have had have my dad "buy" all my guns except one, because I was 18 at the time.
What worked for me is that you cant go up to them and say i want it i want it i want it.
You have to do it over a little bit of a time, so its not an impulse buy.
They dont want you spending money on impulse stuff.

P.S. What gun?

P.P.S. Your mom actually said OKAY?!?!:what:

September 25, 2003, 07:03 PM
Well, your parents should have a pretty good idea how responsible you are with firearms, based on how you act with the HP you already have. If you're a safe and responsible shooter, then I'd say they are being overly controlling. Of course, if you've demonstrated that you aren't mature enough to own guns, then they have a good reason for acting as they are (I don't mean to imply that you are unsafe - I have no idea - but if you are it would justify your parents).

You might ask your parents why exactly they don't want you buying a second pistol. Once you know that, you can work on disproving their reasoning. I know my parents (I recently turned 20) were concerned with me making impulsive decisions - the first couple times they bought guns for me, they wanted me to be sure the item was something I could justify - for competition, practice, etc (usually competition). As I started showing them that I was making good choices, they became increasingly willing to buy things for me (all my money, just them doing the actual purchase). In the case of the final gun I bought through them, I described it to my Dad in the morning (hey Dad - I found this totallyawesomecool little pistol at the shop!...) and we went and bought it the same day over lunch.

September 25, 2003, 08:02 PM
Slow down've got your whole life ahead of you, and hopefully many firearms to come.

September 25, 2003, 08:03 PM

Relax. A year or two goes by way to fast. Pretty soon you'll have far bigger things to worry about.

And about the suggestion that someone else buy the gun and then sell it to you.

That is called a STRAW purchase. Illegal.

Standing Wolf
September 25, 2003, 09:10 PM
I predict you'll do fine. Better too much passion than too little, and better too many guns than too few.

Old Fuff
September 25, 2003, 09:12 PM

Now that this has been kicked around I want you to spend a few (very few) bucks on two books. Actually they are catalogs.

Brownells is a gunsmith supply house. They also carry a lot of handgun accessories and that includes Browning’s. Also, no matter what you might want too do they have the tools. Last but not least, technical advise is free, and they know their business.

Numrich/Gunparts Corporation it would seem has parts and accessories for just about every gun that was ever made. The over 1100-page catalog is filled with exploded-view drawings that will enable you to see what the various parts are, and to a degree how each gun works.

Both will contribute mightily to your education.

September 26, 2003, 09:58 AM
Thanks to all for the many responses. ;)

Well, I have asked my Mom why my Dad is being so obstinate, and she says that mainly, he doesn't understand why I want one of the same pistols. :D :rolleyes:

I am a responsible owner/shooter, and I can't really see a reason that they would be hesitant to let me have another. I know that they think I'm fanatical, since I spend a lot of time online reading about guns (like I'm sure we all do).

But, I just got the "okay" from my Mom this morning, so I guess it's cool.

And really, I guess this will just give me a reason to start buying rifles -- I can buy them myself, after all. ;)

So, while I don't want to have to wait 15 months to buy another pistol, since they are my main interest, I can live on rifles. :)

Thanks for the advice and help, Old Fuff. ;)


September 26, 2003, 10:37 AM
Sonny all you need to do is grow up and suck it up!

El Tejon
September 26, 2003, 11:22 AM
fume, focus on software now. "Mom, don't you want me to be safe? How about Gunsite?":D

September 26, 2003, 11:28 AM
Your parents are letting you buy a gun and have let you buy a gun in the past.

There are many, many, many parents who would not do that for their children.

You are looking at many more pro's then con's.

Stay safe, show em' your responsible and give and take a little......kinda like how real life works even after you are 21.

Take care.

September 26, 2003, 11:34 AM
There's always the MILITARY!

September 26, 2003, 11:42 AM
All I can say is that it takes what seems like an eternity to reach 21, and then the years start going by in blur.

Missouri Mule
September 26, 2003, 11:49 AM
I too was a frustrated as a "Teenager" a lot of the time.

Fortunately I survived and now I can honestly say I wasn't grown up enough to handle the responsibility of a lot of things.

Give it a little time, in a couple of years you will legally be an adult.
Then you can do what you want in your domescile.

Unconstitutional Law? Sounds to me like you have already bypassed that.

Just you live in your parents house?
for free...

Not intended to offend just chill out dude.

Go shoot one of your other guns until you can legally buy your own.

Good shooting!!

September 26, 2003, 11:50 AM
If his 21 year old friend buys it and sells it to him that is totally legal assuming his friend is not an FFL as well.

Can you say STRAW MAN? The ATF can.

Steve Smith
September 26, 2003, 11:50 AM
El Tejon actually has a damned good idea, AND it would not require you to have your parent's consent. Go to a defensive handgun class like Gunsite with a gun you currently own.

September 26, 2003, 12:04 PM
I musta been born lucky...

My dad is a gunny... and when I wanted one I couldn't get for myself, his motto was "it's your money, so SURE I'll help you get it!

kinda pissed mom off a bit at times, BUT, it IS and WAS my money... Dad understood!

El Tejon
September 26, 2003, 12:10 PM
fume, when I was your age, I wanted one of everything and it all. It was not until I began my serious study of gun fu in my mid-20s that I understood that my software should control my hardware choices.

You may realize that you no longer need or like a particular weapon, however, funds spent on pursuing education are never a waste and will continue to pay dividends for the rest of your life. If your parents are giving resistance to buying you "yet another" pistol, redirect your attack to a class.

"If the bridge is blocked, roll around your obstacle and find an opening." Chinese boxing axiom [gong sounds].

/s/ sibo Tejon

Steve Smith
September 26, 2003, 12:19 PM
Harping on the same subject. Once you get some real education and experience with guns, you'll find that you don't much care what you have in your hands as long as it's reliable and reasonably accurate. The gun doesn't make the weapon. The man is the weapon and the gun is the tool.

I personally am weak with pistol, and I'm going to take a class to correct that. Pretty darn deadly with a rifle though...any rifle.

September 26, 2003, 12:32 PM
Ah yes, the generation gap. Like everything else, there're two sides to the issue. I'm old now, but not so old I don't remember seeing things from your point of view. Then I became a parent and my POV changed. Now, as an Oldfart, I can sit back and look at both sides and laugh my butt off 'cause I know that you get to go through it too. Have an interesting life. One that you can remember with both pride and a bit of embarrassment. I did.

September 26, 2003, 10:01 PM
fume (if you don't mind that),
I hear you buddy. But you remind me how lucky I am. I'm only 19 also (P-990 actually!) and therefore can't buy handguns. Naturally, this is no big deal; I have access to my dad's collection, which is fun. Plus, I have access to a NM AR-15, which I am scheming to use to get a classification in the spring when high-power resumes here in the Northeast.

Might I recommend taking up rifle shooting? You're of legal age to buy your own gear, and it is a ton of fun! :)

Take care,

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