Am I being paranoid?


Alan Fud
October 1, 2003, 12:16 AM
We just recently moved to the hills of PA. The house is in the middle of nowhere where our nearest neighbor is more than a football field away and we are the final house on the street which just sort of runs into the forest for a few hundred feet and ends there. So there really isn't any reason for cars to come down this way unless they are coming to see us.

About an hour and a half ago as we were getting the little one ready for bed, our doorbell rang. I found this rather strange especially since there are no street lights outside and we didn't have our outdoor lights on either. So, somebody was standing out there in the pitch darkness.

I had a S&W640 J-frame .357mag snubbie in from from pocket loaded with .38special +P ammo, so I turned on the porch lights to see a guy standing there. I went ahead to open the door and asked him what he wanted. He said that he had lost his way to the highway and wanted to know if he could come in.

I didn't see a reason to invite him in and just gave him directs on how to get back on the main road. As I locked the door and shut off the outside lights, I mentioned to my wife that it was sort of odd for him to be lost in our neighborhood since we are pretty far off the beaten path.

About 15-20 minutes later, the doorbell rang again. I once again turned on the lights to now find TWO individuals standing out there. The original guy and now a second individual. I opened the door and they asked if they could come in to use the phone because the steering wheel in their car wasn't working (as they pointed to their car parked in front of our house) and they wanted to call for help.

I told them that I would make the call for them and asked them what the number was. They began looking through their pockets looking for the number and saying that they weren't sure. At which point, I told them that if they weren't sure what the number was, then there was definitely no reason for them to come in. I offered to call triple-A for them but they declined and walked away.

At this point I started to get a bit paranoid and a little bit worried because things just didn't feel right so I grabbed my Para-Ordnance P13.45LDA and strapped it on my waist and placed a spare pre-ban 13-round mag in my pocket.

About half an hour later, the doorbell rings for a third time and this time there are three of them out there. I once again open the door and they once again ask to use the phone because the steering wheel on their car isn't working. As they are speaking, I notice that the car is now parked on the other side of the street facing the other way.

If the steering wheel wasn't working, how did they turn the car around and WHY did they turn the car around. Again, things are not adding up for me in my head.

This time they rattle off a telephone number. I call to my wife to grab the cordless phone and dial the number. The Mrs dials the number but the person who picks up the phone has no clue to what we're talking about.

"Juan's car broke down and he needs you to come pick him up" "I don't know anyone named Juan."

"Jose's car broke down and he needs you to come pick him up" "I don't know anyone named Jose."

"Hector's car broke down and he needs you to come pick him up" "I don't know anyone named Hector."

I again offer to call triple-A for them but they say "no" and walk away. Maybe I'm being paranoid but things just didn't feel right. The wife didn't think so either and grabbed her Browning BDA380 filled with 14 rounds of .380ACP (she's recoil sensative but the BDA380 kicks like a .22 because it's a fairly large gun for the caliber and she can hit the X-ring with it at 25-yards ... I would rather have her hit her target with a .380ACP than miss it with a more powerful caliber).

It's now been close to an hour with no activity but the car still appears to be parked outside but I can't be certain if anyone is inside.

Am I being paranoid? How would you handle a situation like this?

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October 1, 2003, 12:18 AM
You are not being paranoid. Call LEOs and explain the situation and tell them that your wife and child are frightened and you would like it an awful lot if they could send an officer over.

son of a gun
October 1, 2003, 12:25 AM
I would have called the Cops after the second trip to the door, the cops are supose to respond motorist's in trouble.

October 1, 2003, 12:32 AM
Yup. I'd have called the cops after knock number two. Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. :p

October 1, 2003, 12:32 AM
Given the circumstances, I would have to go out on a limb and say.... not paranoid. Those individuals are not acting in a normal manner.

If you have any sort of imagination, about sleeping tonight.

Stay safe, and don't open the door to them again.


Mike Irwin
October 1, 2003, 12:37 AM
You mind telling us why you haven't bothered to call the police as just a checksafe?

If there are now two, and then three, where did 2 and 3 come from? Did 1 drive off to pick them up, drive back, and then decide that the steering wheel isn't working?

Were they trying your neighbors?

You've got more than every reason to be suspicious to the point where you should call in the local constabulary.

October 1, 2003, 12:42 AM
No, you're not paranoid, you're using your brain. Paranoia is a completely unfounded fear of something. Having someone lie to you to get into your house is definitely not paranoia. I think on the second attempt I would've displayed my firearm and told them that you weren't having any of it. Legal or not, I don't know; but you've just drawn a line in the sand. Anyone dumb enough to cross that line needs to be perforated. Then call the cops.

Hope you're okay.


October 1, 2003, 12:43 AM
I sont want to frighten you but I am really genuinely concerned because "Can I come in to use your phone" is a really commonly used ploy. Call the cops before they sever the phone lines as the Dartmouth murderers did (

son of a gun
October 1, 2003, 12:44 AM
I have never heard of a steering wheel not working:neener: unless it's a stolen hot wired car with steering wheel lock problems.

October 1, 2003, 12:44 AM
There is something to be said for being independant and doing something yourself. There is also something to be said for letting the system work.

I urge you strongly to call the police, and barricade yourself in.

son of a gun
October 1, 2003, 12:47 AM
I hope they haven't cut the phoneline by now!

October 1, 2003, 12:49 AM
1. Have your wife call the cops while you try and read the license plate if all possible... give that number to your wife to tell the cops, it could be a hot car...

2. Hope everything is nice and locked. Also I hope that they aren't trying your neighbor’s right about now. With the same ploy they tried with you.

Maybe look around trying to figure out where the shady people are... but for SURE call the cops...
(from the saftey of your house.. while checking to make sure the rest of the place is ok, this is after the call to the cops)

October 1, 2003, 12:50 AM
I say you are half and half using your brain.

The GOOD half is that you are thinking this is a bad scenario.

The BAD half is:

1) You haven't called the Police yet. I would have called immediately after knock #2.
2) You actually OPENED the door.

Remember my friend, a gun is an equalizer, but cannot ALWAYS save you. That extra steel does not make you invincible, you must think safely. Don't open the door, exposing yourself to a rush attack.

If it were me, and I opened the door the second time, it would have been with my Bushmaster M4 slung on my shoulder, round chambered, safety on, thumb on safety switch, finger outside triggergaurd. I would explain to them that given the circumstances, I was just be cautious. Let them think I'm a weirdo.

I'm sorry, but your story does not sound good at all. You REALLY should call the Police immediately before something happens. If they want to try something, they are "feeling" you out, and getting an idea of what their opposition is.

October 1, 2003, 12:51 AM
ACK! :what:

Dude! Call the cops!


October 1, 2003, 12:52 AM
Wow, I don't have any advice that hasn't already been given, except that you may want to go ahead and get their plate number and call the cops if the car is still parked outside. Sounds like you live in a house just perfect for a robbery. I'd have an officer sent out, these guys may not be so kind as to knock next time, or instead may go for one of your neighbors instead.
Hope everything comes out ok, good luck

October 1, 2003, 12:54 AM
Call cops.
Cover back door too with wife.
Spray lawn in morning....
You seem to be breeding aliens.


October 1, 2003, 12:55 AM
Another "you are not being paranoid and should have called the cops after the second approach" response.

October 1, 2003, 12:55 AM

Do NOT grab your rifle/shotgun/.50 DE/whatever and try to "seal your perimeter."

Do you have an alarm system in the house? Arm the perimeter sensors immediately!

October 1, 2003, 12:55 AM
Where's that bear when you need him? :confused:

;) :D

4v50 Gary
October 1, 2003, 12:57 AM
Steering wheels do fail when there's a steering wheel lock and you don't have the key. Home invaders who couldn't get in by guile and couldn't use force of number to intimidate. You did well. Call the cops next time and have a shotgun at hand. Never mind this "handgun" stuff. Remember, in a gunfight, bring always bigger gun.

October 1, 2003, 12:59 AM
ahh heck Son of a Gun beat me to the hot car idea

October 1, 2003, 01:02 AM
You have been cased and evaluated. Lock and load, get the cell phone handy, and call the law. Do you know the nearest neighbor...well enough to call and advise? NEVER open that door again, never turn on a light, this tells them where you are located.

Talk through doors, make an excuse ( not dressed, contagious pink eye, sick...whatever). In another life I learned people check through public records, word of mouth whom lives in remote areas...etc. I have seen people watch me as I left, to see whom I was, my hours, my routine. I even had voice recordings to give impressions someone else or multiple persons around...not TV or radio. Automatic timers at different times to throw people off. Motion detectors for outside lighting is good--may help with critters you have posted on before.

Paranoid No.
Orange getting red yes.

I came home once , unlocked my door to be greeted by an armed BG. I had taken the best precautions I safes precautions only slow down an honest guy, if they want it bad enough... I have CCW for a long time, I did before my incident, even before CCW were issued ( needed). I was that day, have continued since. Much truth in action is quicker than reaction...I'm still around.


Hope this gets settled peacefully for you and yours.

October 1, 2003, 01:21 AM
"once ***again*** open the door"

You're not paranoid, you have a guardian angel watching over you.

Borther, I'm on your side, I'm sure you're a nice person, one that would help me if I was in trouble. God bless you.



Borther, they were doing everyting but holding up a sign reading "We're about to whack your @$$!"

Glad you came through okay...but being too parnoid is the last thing you need to worry about.

October 1, 2003, 01:39 AM
After you call the cops and baracade yourself in for the night, call your neighbors ... they should know these guys are out there too.

cracked butt
October 1, 2003, 01:49 AM
If the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you get a twinge in your gut, listen to these signs, they are usually right.

October 1, 2003, 01:54 AM
Hope he is allright seems not to have responded to our posts.. maybe he is just dealing with the cops.

October 1, 2003, 02:56 AM
Maybe our moderators should look up his registration info and see if they can figure out how to send the cops to him.

This thread was the last he has posted tonight. Did a search on all forums for his handle. Looks like he usually hangs out in handguns forum.

Sent him a PM.

October 1, 2003, 03:14 AM
Went to the site he has on his sig line and he placed the exact same message, word for word, on that forum as well. The message he placed here was at September 30th, 2003 09:16 PM.

The message he placed at was placed there at 10-01-2003 05:06 AM That is also the last post he posted there.

Someone's server clock is WAAAAY off as it is 10-01-2003 1:10AM here in Mountain time as I write this.

He has a webpage at: where he states I have posted numerous "What IF?" type questions on various Gun Boards and over time, these "What IF's" have come to be known as "The FUD Files!" I have pulled together the more interesting ones and they can be found in this Historical Thread section.I think we are being involved in one of his so-called "Fud files"

The last post at the thread is: "Another weird thing is the posting of a probable problem on the internet, before calling anybody - authorities, friends with guns, otherwise - Hmmm"

Methinks someone else smells a rat.

son of a gun
October 1, 2003, 03:19 AM
Every so often you get HCI moles on forums like these.

October 1, 2003, 03:20 AM
Go read his webpage. I think we're being had.

October 1, 2003, 03:24 AM
Yep. We're being had. Read the "what ifs" he has posted at his webpage at:

What a Jerk!

son of a gun
October 1, 2003, 03:30 AM
I don't know what to make of it he has a nice handgun gallery and links to the "firing line" but he preaches being prepared so it seems like someone prepared doesn't need our advice.
It's kinda like he's researching what firearm enthusiasts will do in certain scenarios.

October 1, 2003, 03:43 AM
Wrote him a nasty-gram PM and told him what an a-- he is in just those terms. I also reported the thread to the mods.

How dare he take a bunch of people who care about the safety and welfare of their fellow posters on this kind of idiotic trip? I did a bit of research on him and found that he had posted the same crap on another gun board. Then I saw his webpage and the ol'

went off big time. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw his previous efforts which he was so kind to document for us.

Again, what a Jerk.

October 1, 2003, 03:47 AM
Ok, tell me what I am not seeing. I am not quite getting what yall are saying. Are you saying he is an elaborately-prepared mole with lots of "faked" gun-enthusiasm?

October 1, 2003, 03:54 AM
No. He comes up with fake scenarios and posts them on boards to see what the posters will come up with. Go to and read some of the scenarios he has come up with like Stranger at your door late at night -- do you grab your gun? ( or ALMOST Armed Encounter at the Gas Station (

He just makes stuff up. I have no doubt he's a gun guy. He just also happens to be a gun guy who's also a Jerk.

son of a gun
October 1, 2003, 04:00 AM
Ok, tell me what I am not seeing. I am not quite getting what yall are saying. Are you saying he is an elaborately-prepared mole with lots of "faked" gun-enthusiasm?

No just that he had no reason to second guess his paranoia because this didn't just happen as he implied, and it was disingenuous of him to deceive us when we are all concerned about his families well being.

October 1, 2003, 04:02 AM

Betrayed by our own. How nice.:mad:

October 1, 2003, 04:10 AM
Went to his "Interactive 'What If'" forum at and it is simply a load of bulls--- stories. The forum header states What IF
A forum for the discussion of actual and hypothetically (sic) self defense situations that you have found yourself in, or realistically might find yourself in. Tell us what you did, or what you think you would do in those circumstances. Members are encouraged to offer comments & suggestions in the form of constructive criticism. Of the 22 topics, 19 were started by Fud.

Perhaps this is the real Fudd Wav File (

Brian Dale
October 1, 2003, 04:39 AM
At the link that jimpeel provided, further info reads,
For those of you who are familiar with FUD and his various misfortunes, this forum needs no formal introduction. However, here is a brief introduction for the rest of you. I would not consider FUD your average American gun owner. Less fortunate gun owner, perhaps. FUD's motto is Share what you know, learn what you don't. There is not a more perfect motto to describe FUD. Through many experiences (to say the least), FUD has learned many valuable lessons and has been kind enough to share them with us. Please use this forum in accordance to FUD's motto so that we all might share what we know and learn what we don't. -- KaMaKaZe. Well, now we know what the game is.

Once more, with feeling: " FUD's motto is Share what you know..." no matter by what means?

"Through many experiences (to say the least)"... to say the least and to withhold the essential? I expect that a great deal more will be said.

"and learn what we don't" ... yes; in my case it's that I've been reading THR in Condition White.

Thank you, jimpeel.

And I was annoyed by telemarketers stealing my time and attention. :fire:

October 1, 2003, 06:59 AM
well, at least its nice to know he aint a complete raving idiot, just an ***hole.

October 1, 2003, 07:07 AM
I hate what ifs...

What if grasshoppers had machine guns, then birds wouldn't mess with them.

What if my Aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.

I actually got concerned for this when I read it on TAC....

Zach S
October 1, 2003, 07:45 AM
Motion-detector lights are handy. If you do open the door a second time, keep your foot right against it and most of your wieght on that foot, if they try to force themselves in theyll be thrown off if the door doesnt swing right open, expect it, so you can have it work to your advantage while they're thinking "***?" If you have a hardwood floor, this may not work. Dont turn any inside lights on if theyre off, turning the porch light on makes it easier for you to see them and harder for them to see you (especially if your porch light has a flood bulb). Call the police after turning them away, or have the Mrs. call while theyre at the door, especially if the "broken car" is parked differently. Third time I hear a knock, theyll hear me rack the action of something and answer with a very rude "what!?"

PPL call me paraniod, I say I'm prepared.

If the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and you get a twinge in your gut, listen to these signs, they are usually right.Very true. However, I didnt really pay attn to my instincts until meeting a then-GF's ex-BF and five of his buddies.

October 1, 2003, 08:25 AM
His nick kind of gives it away. Alan Fud? A combo play on words for the name Alan Funt (of "You're on Candid Camera!" jokester fame) and Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt.

October 1, 2003, 09:00 AM
I dont like being tricked, especially not that late at night :o

October 1, 2003, 09:34 AM
Y'know, you gotta wonder how many people have read rule #4. Especially the part about "personal attacks"...

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