Gun Jokes


July 4, 2009, 11:59 PM
ok every culture has jokes about themselves and there hobbies

had a bad day at work (missed the fireworks)

gimme a gun joke or two make me laugh

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July 5, 2009, 12:31 AM
Q: What do you get when you cross a Mommy bullet with a Daddy bullet?

A: A little BB.

(From the pages of Boy's Life magazine a few years ago)

July 5, 2009, 12:38 AM
A Marine Sniper was asked what he felt when he shot an enemy combatant.

The Marine sniper thought a second and replied "Recoil". :D

one more:

Hillary Clinton, a Presidential Democratic Party candidate is for
banning all guns in America . She is considered by those who have
dealt with her as a little more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent rural elementary school meeting in north Florida she
asked the kids audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, she
started to slowly clap her hands, once every few seconds. Holding
the audience in total silence, she said into the microphone, "Every
time I clap my hands, a child in America dies from gun violence."

A young voice with a proud southern accent (probably Little Johnny)
from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet. "Well, stop clappin,
ya stupid b@#$%!"

July 5, 2009, 03:44 AM
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic crazy with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Colt Model 1911 45 cal. automatic pistol, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:


Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist

July 5, 2009, 10:26 AM
nice i needed that thanks guys keep em coming

B yond
July 6, 2009, 12:24 AM
How do you say 'bad shot' in redneck?


July 6, 2009, 01:47 AM
Two neighbors are arguing.

The young punk comes up into the old guys yard yelling "I'm a black belt in karata, kung-fu & jujitsu! I'll put you in the hospital old man."

Old guy "I don't think so, I,m a black belt in ka-cunk"

Punk, "What's ka-cunk?"

Guy pulls out his pump shotgun.....Ka-cunk!

July 6, 2009, 08:23 AM
Sadly, too many political stereotypes and such to let this thread live.

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