[jc]

please foregive me its been a while since i been on this forum i dont know if im in the right area? anyway my mother was diagnoised march,10 of multibile myoloma with complications of double pnunomia in her lungs she died june,7 of this year:( she was my best friend and i feel torn apart about this. i hope i am able to hold up because i been binging heavy on the alcohol too much. i had to make the decision to take my mother off the machine and i havent been the same since. please say a prayer for me that i get over this john thank you.

[Yo Mama]

Prayer sent. Gather strength for your family, be who they lean on.
I'm very sorry for your loss.

[jc]

thank you i drank 40 to 50 beers over the weekend and im getting bad pains in my back towards the right side. the drinking has been increasing for a while its just too much to take. i sure can use your guys support have any of you been in this situation?

[mdugan]

God bless you.

[jimmyraythomason]

My mother died in October of last year and it still hurts. I relied on my faith and the help of my church family to get through. GOD bless you in your time of loss.

[Schofield3]

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints" Psalm 116:15

Prayers be with you, Please ease up with the drinking though. You've got more going for you than to sink completely in sorrow..

[GodGuns&Guitars]

Lost my Mom several years ago after she came down with alziemers. It was tougher seeing her suffer from that than it was to let her go. She had lost most everything she'd been when I was growing up. We asked the Lord to return her dignity to her and that is what He did. The alchohol will not replace nor bring her back. Have the knowledge that she is in a better place now and suffers no more. She looks down on you every day, but she is with you in your thoughts and in your heart. Remember that as you pour the beer down the drain. Now pick yourself up, and go on about life. My prayers are with you.

I was diagnosed with kidney cancer back in January of this year. I was given as a guess that I have 18 months. I am not going to give up, lay down, or let this get me without a fight. I have met others with the same thing, and they have outlived what the doctors handed them, and I don't plan on giving up on the 18th month. God bless you .........

[conwict]

jchampagne,

Hi, I don't know you and I can't even imagine the pain your in. Your heart must really be hurting right now. If you want, message me and we can talk. I, and lots of other people on THR, are here for you. It's ok to feel the way you do. You don't have to cover up the pain, and it won't go away on its own for a while anyway. If you can, remember your mother with others who loved her and share in the feelings of grief you are all going through. If you can't bring yourself to do that, or if they can't, you can email me through my username to get anything you want off your chest. I've been in the position of trying to numb pain before.

[2RCO]

jchampagne--A prayer sent for you and your mom.

Now for some other stuff: It sounds like you've got a drinking problem and need to kick it bad before you end up in a worse way. Drinking has never solved a problem. Until you are emotionally stable kick Mr. Budweiser to the curb and you'll feel less pain.

Also I obviously didn't know your Mom but I seriously doubt she'd want you to drink yourself stupid because of her. Honor her memory by being sober. If you had to make the call on pulling the plug that sucks but in all honesty doing so ended your Mother's sufferring and sent her to a better place. Often times the cruellest thing to do is to leave someone on Life Support and artificially prolong their sufferring. I know God forbid I'm ever the one on Life Support I hope my family has the fortitude to let me go. It's hard to lose a loved one but you should in NO WAY feel responsible.

NOW DROP THE BOOZE--sober up and go out find a shooting buddy and bust some clays or plink some targets. Get addicted to something that is actually fun and won't land you dead or in jail.

GG&G --I have a Great Uncle that had a similar situation to yours the Docs gave him a year or so....That was around 1997 and I ate Breakfast with him this morning. He's been through several rounds of treatments including relapse and remission cycles but all in all he gets around better than most guys his age. FWIW he also fought in WWII and got shot up a bit so he's a pretty tough old dude. Keep a positive attitude and keep fighting!

[jbrown50]

My prayers are with you.

My mother died of a stroke back on December 2, 1978. I was heartbroken for the longest time. I was in the military, was coming home soon and she had a party planned for me. When I left little did I know that it was my last time seeing her alive.

You'll never get over her but time will sooth your loss. I still miss her dearly. My consolation is that she didn't suffer and is happily with God.

Your mother's no longer suffering and is also now with God. She's happy and is smiling down at you. She doesn't want you to be sad, she wants you to rejoice and celebrate her home going.

[btg3]

A friend's mother had a stroke that made her unable to swallow. Her wishes were known to the doctor and the family, but it was still a difficult decision not to insert a feeding/drinking tube. Several days later she passed. Tough situation, but everyone felt the right thing was done.

You can and should feel that you did the right thing also. It wasn't easy for you, but it was right. Grieving your loss is normal and healthy, but doing the wrong thing now, is not the solution -- it is the path to more grief. Get whatever help you need to celebrate the relationship you had with with your mother. There is now room in your life for other relationships, but "enablers" are not your friends. If you could choose the outcome 30 days from now, what would it be, and is there any reason not to strive for what you wish? We all want to see you work through this successfully, but we can not make the minute-to-minute and day-to-day decisions that you need to make for yourself. Prayer will do what you can't do for yourself, but you must take an active role in navigating your course. I too am praying for you.

[351 WINCHESTER]

Sorry for your loss. We lost Dad 5 years ago and Mom passed away about 2 years ago. Both Mom and Dad are in Heaven and are no longer suffering. Dad had cancer and it was real tough seing him suffer so much. Mom had a stroke and a bad back and it was tough to see her suffer too. A second stroke took her life and she died in her sleep. I take comfort in knowing they are in a better place where there is no more pain or suffering.

Drinking is NOT the solution to your problem. It's a temporary "fix". You need to grieve for your loss and realize that your Mom is no longer suffering. That's what got us thru our losses.

I just prayed that you would quit drinking and that the Good Lord would see you thru your loss. I hope the pain on your right side goes away, but if it doesn't please seek professional help. Stay in touch if you wish as I've been there too. I quit drinking in 1979. No it wasn't easy, but it was worth it in a huge way.

Good luck and God Bless.

[Dimis]

im sorry for you loss
i lost my father a week before thanksgiving 2007
when the pain hits you its strongest show streanth and endure
its not easy to lose someone you love and its even worse when its someone that is as close as a parent but you can and will find the courage and power to continue on have faith that all things happen for a reason
i screamed at the heavins when i lost my father but i look back and think how much worse he could have suffered with lung cancer and chemo treatments i watched my 250LBS strong as a bull father wither away and im glad he didnt suffer long because he didnt deserve it
you will find it inside you to carry on

good will and God bless you and yours

[TOTC]

jchampagne,

I feel for you. I lost my mother on July 12th. The last month of her life she was incoherent and on a ventilator. She eventually was weaned off the ventilator, but an infection is what took her in the end. I find comfort in considering it a blessing that she no longer suffers. My mother was for her physical impairments, an active intelligent woman. it's been said before, but the alcohol only masks the pain. I've had boughts of my grieving manifesting itself physically. Your mother is no longer suffering. I'll pray for you.

[Geno]

First, I am sorry to read of your loss. The day I lost my son to a doctor's malpractice I had to dig real deep inside to find the strength I needed. You won't find strength at the bottom of even the prettiest bottle. You have the strength inside. Place it in God's hands and leave it there. Stop taking it back on yourself.

PM me anytime.

Geno

[herohog]

God bless you, I know where you are right now. I just started going to a Grief Support Group. It has helped. We are 3 weeks into an 8 week "course." When you are ready, if you want to, see if there is one in your area.

I hope and pray for you and wish you peace.

[MDW GUNS]

First, I am sorry to hear about your loss.
You need to quit on the alcohol and sort out your future life.
It is hard to deal with a death of a parent.
However this is what nature has in for us.
Settle your mothers estate and say good by.
You have to move on with your life and that is what your mother did when her parents pasted on and it's what she wants you to do.

[frankiestoys]

Jchampagne,
Sorry for your loss, i lost my mother ten years ago, i wont lie it doesn't get easier but if any of us know we just learn to live with our losses and except the things that we can't change.
Keep your head up and trust in GOD even when we don't understand.
frankiestoys

[tasco 74]

sorry to hear about your mom dieing...... keep her memory close to your heart but live your life.................... JJB

[chevyforlife21]

sorry for your loss that must be hard

[Deltaboy]

Prayers for you and your family.

[WingRider]

Sorry to hear of your loss:( I lost my Mom the day after Thanksgiving '07 and just lost my sister July 17 to a MERSA infection she tried to treat herself.:confused:+1 for grief counseling. My Dad went twice, found it helpful and went back to help with what he'd learned. May God touch your heart and bring you some peace.

[jbkebert]

I am very sorry for your loss. My prayers will be with you.

[Expertowgunner]

God Bless you and im sorry for your loss. Im sure your mom would not want you to drink and that she wants you to move on and enjoy your life. Losing ones parents is always a hard thing to endure but know this that your mom is in a better place and she wants YOU to be happy.

[datruth]

sorry for your loss, may god give you strength

[lonewolf1981]

My prayers are with you. Sorry to hear about your loss and please ease up on the alcohal.hope you fell better and keep us updated.

[bikerdoc]

Jchampagne,
Sorry for your loss.

Now for a little tough love, by virtue of you being a mrmber of the THR, you are my brother and I will Tell you as I would tell my own brother, Mom is in a better place. She is with you in spirit. Rejoice in that. Yes you miss her but booze is not the answer.
Grief has many stages, see your pastor, or a support group. Honor her memory by good deeds and behavior.
Please get some help.
Doc

[mcdonl]

It is said that a boy becomes a man when his mom dies. I have no doubt you were a man before, but you have entered a new phase in your life.

I hope that this time has brought your family together and that you will celebrate her life.

My condolences.

[Sav .250]

Sorry for your loss.

[Papaster]

If you need someone to talk to, please call (800) 488-HOPE. (that's 800-488-4673) Someone there would love to talk to you about what you're going through, and perhaps provide some materials or help you get in touch with a counselor in your local area. I will pray for you. You will need some time to grieve. Please do take it easy on the drinking. Drowning your problems will only make this last longer.

[MisterMike]

John--

First let me offer my condolences and my assurance that the heartache will diminish. I've been down that road, and while it's hard to believe it's possible, the passage of time will make things better. Know that you did the right thing by letting her pass into a better place.

Now, as for the drinking, ask yourself what your mother would want for you. The answer is clear: she would want you to remember her with love, and to live the rest of your life in happiness. Alcohol will not only prolong and accentuate your grief, it will screw up your life.

You--and only you--can do this. Before you let another minute pass, call a pastor, a counselor, AA, or someone who can guide you through this. Don't put it on your "to do" list; do it now. It's not an easy path, but it's what your mother would want.

[hso]

All my family has passed, Mom, my sister and my dad. I understand the pain and loss, but as others here have told you that your mother wouldn't want you to numb yourself with alcohol. You do her no honor with such behavior.

If she were your best friend what do you think she'd tell you? If it was, "drown in grief and drink yourself to death", she was no true friend. If it would be to stop and honor her memory, then she was.

[bablack]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, My mom recently passed away as well.
My God give you peace.

[conwict]

It's good to know we're a real community here. bablack and others who posted, sorry for your losses.

[Geno]

jchampagne:
Still keeping you in my prayers. Hang in there, and be as strong as you can be.

hso:
Sir, that is among the most decent posts I ever have read in my 49 years. Yet again, I am re-impressed with your sense of humanity.

Geno

[UniversalFrost]

man, sorry to hear about the loss. It is tough to handle. I personally had a buddy of mine die in my arms on my first tour and it was really tough and really messed me up for several years and still have flare ups.

the drinking helps you know, but will become a crutch later. best way is to cut down on the drinking (notice I didn't say quit) and then go talk to a priest, pastor, or anyone that will listen. Me, I had a great priest help me out otherwise I would have really lost it and probably would not be around right now.

all i can say is talk to someone. don't get too depressed and don't do anything stupid. I am sure your mom is in a better place. we all pass away, so don't rush your way to the end. try to carry on your mothers legacy and let others know of her and how she impacted your life.

hang in there!

[george29]

Get out, start walking, get off the booze. From a former boozer who lost his dad.

[BullfrogKen]

I don't speak about this much. I don't even speak about this much with my wife. The fact that she doesn't check this forum at all makes this all that much easier for me to type and expose myself on a BIG public forum. In fact, outside of my Crohn's disease support forum - with defined confidentiality rules and codes of conduct - I think this is the only time I've discussed this in a public place.


Nearly 5 years ago I became very ill; tragedically and perilously ill. I vomitted daily, and had diarrhea the likes of which one only hears about from symptoms associated with Amoebic Dysentery. I also lost a great deal of weight - very rapidly. At my lightest I weighed about 145 lbs on a 6' 1" frame. At the time nobody, no-one could conclusively tell us what my actual problem was. One GI doctor I went to went so far as to suggest my problems were all pyschological.



I knew he was wrong. All I had were my faith in my myself and my feelings.


But for many, many months I was all alone in my self-diagnosis.



All I knew was I was rapidly wasting away. And test after invasive, embarrassing, ignoble, test we still had no definitive answer. I sunk into depths that man should never sink. I am convinced we were mere weeks from my death before I went to another doctor and discovered the diagnosis.


Through much tribulation we found that answer. I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease. My life has never been the same since.



Maybe it's odd that we're talking about this in Rallying Point . . . . but it seems fitting that Rallying Point is the place we're having this discussion . . . . Perhaps pallying point can mean other things than rallying some for shooting activities. And perhaps by sharing my story publicly, without shame or reservation, this may rally you.


And if my story can rally you then its worth the telling.


In addition to the weight loss I struggled with a lot of pain. A lot of pain. Back before anyone believed me I was on my own. And at times I treated my pain through alcohol. It was personally embarrassing to admit that I needed it. But I needed it for pain relief. And sometimes I needed it simply to find some sleep. Even if only for a few hours.


Eventually I found a doctor who believed me. And then we began to treat my disease with steriods, proper medication and pain perscriptions. I also began to discover other people with pain. Not just my unique pain. But pain in any form. And for a while support groups helped me manage both my physical and my psychological pain.


To this day I still have struggles. I struggle to find a proper nights sleep. And I still have flares and with it pain. I guess I'll never fully be rid of it. But that's life. It's not what I want. But life isn't about what I want, or what's fair. I had a really good life before my pain and my sickness . . . . but like I said life's not fair.




All I can say to you is this . . .


Don't live in shame. We let everyone down at some point, especially our mothers. And there are many people before you who have had to do things to get by. They may have done things they aren't proud of to get through their pain. But for most of us pain is temporary. For me pain, real pain, will be something I'll live with until I die and meet my Maker. And then He and I are going to have quite the long discussion . . . .


This pain you feel today, and are treating with alcohol . . . this will pass. But an addiction to alcohol will live with you forever. Only you know if this behavior you're forming is a temporary passing or something that will become a lifelong problem for you.


Your mother will forgive you if your grieving over her includes a short period of drunkeness. I've grieved over other dear friends in the same way. But if your drinking is a problem . . . . and you know deep down inside your soul if it is . . . . then you should seek some help.


But that's entirely for you to diagnosis and decide.

Some of the strongest, greatest men I know are former drunks. There is no shame in admitting you have a problem. But there is shame in using an addictive behavior to treat a problem that can be solved with other, more appropriate methods.

[kyo]

Glorified and sanctified be God's great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us
and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

[ugaarguy]

Back in December I lost my grandmother to terminal illness. My father and grandfather, with advise from legal counsel and healthcare professionals, had to make the decision to remove a form form of artificial life support. These decisions are never easy. You're obviously a man of God asking for prayer. Find strength in the Lord. You will be in my prayers.

[charliewood]

my heart goes out to you ,as well as prayers.

[grampster]

The loss of your mom is tough. Mine passed a year ago July 28. My dad's been gone since Oct. 28, 1999. I've lost other members of my family and have lost friends to suicide and four were murdered.

Drinking yourself into oblivion daily or frequently is no answer. Getting a bit soused and reliving happy memories of loved ones is fine. But to turn it into a lifestyle does not solve anything. Sounds like you're finding that to be true.

A little conversation in the AM with the Almighty is a good way to start the day. A little reflection with Him for short moments throughout the day and finally giving thanks for his grace and help through the day is a good way to end the day.

You have the support from a fine group of folks here at THR. Lean on 'em and listen to 'em.

[jfh]

It's no comfort to say "don't drink to kill the pain"--but I know all too well it does not work.

My mother, at the age of 95, had the final "incident"--that started a six-month decline that lead to her death. I am an only child--so the burden fell on me to help her through this end to her life.

Along the way came some hard choices; I supported her in her decision to not do any more surgery. She ended up with an open sore on her (artificial) knee that would not heal--and, eventually, I had to make the decision to stop medical treatment--no more antibiotics--and provide only pain relief and hospice support. She died twelve days later.

Even though I felt well-prepared for having to make those kinds of decisions, there still was terrible conflict about doing it. I assuaged my guilt and anxiety with the knowledge that alternatives were worse. And, in the end, I grieved her death.

Eventually, I was able to move on--in fact, I had to, simply because I suddenly had to deal with my own serious illnesses (two cancers in 10 months; one of them is stage IV).

You can move on, too. Seek personal friends and contacts for comfort, and post here as needed.

Jim H.

[Tim the student]

I am very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what it will be like when my parents die.

But I do know that they would not want me to kill myself slowly with a bottle. You have shown a lot of courage with your public admission of your drinking. You know this is an unhealthy thing for you. Call someone, get involved in AA, call a pastor, call your buddies, talk to some of your family, talk to us. Hell, talk to me if you want. PM me and I'll give you my number and you can talk to me.

It may seem impossible, but you can stop drinking. I have seen plenty of references to AA and sobriety here. If you search for it, I'm sure you could PM the people that made those references. I have a hard time they would not be willing to give some advice to you.

[springmom]

I am so sorry to read of this. May her memory be eternal. Prayers going up for you.

Jan

[SimpleIsGood229]

Prayers are sent for you, your family, and your mom, jchampagne. May she rest in peace. Be strong, man; I know you can do it. Just give it all to God.

I must also say that Geno and hso offer most excellent advice.

[Phydeaux642]

I'm sorry for your loss. I also feel your pain. My dad died about 3 1/2 years ago and it's still really painful. Sometimes I think I am trying to eat myself to death to deal with the loss, so, I kind of understand where you are coming from. Neither way of dealing with grief is good. I know it and I believe you know it, also. Here's hoping we both get through it with the pain receding and fond memories that stay with us forever.

[jdub3]

Hi J,
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my grandfather on January 2nd of this year and he was like a best friend to me; their isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and miss him.

You really do need to slow down on the drinking. I am sure its not how your mother raised you or would want you to live. If there is anything I can do, or you just need to talk, feel free to shoot me a message.

You and your family will be in my prayers,
Jack

[kd7nqb]

Loss is always hard, but its important to realize that you made the only choice you had. As to the drinking you know thats not the right think to do, and your admitting your problem so you have made the tough admition already. NOW STOP IT. There are lots of great support groups for both pain and Booze, I recommend that you find yourself one, or a good friend either one.

[Rodentman]

I, too, am sorry for your loss.

I lost a leg in 1991 and suffer daily with back and leg pain. I haven't given up and don't plan to. You will make it, but booze will not be any help at all. It will only make matters worse. I hope all the support and msgs here will give you solace and guidance.

[JCisHe]

You have my deepest condolences! May the Lord be with you.

[Supertac45]

God bless. My Dad passed away a few months before I shipped out to Vietnam the first time. Came home and 4 months later went back. Came back after another year and my brother was killed. Was set to go back again and my Mom passed away. My date was firm due to my occupation at the time, so never made it the third time. Then I was divorced. The God that created us never gives us more than we can handle. It just seems that way. Your in my prayers.

[DELTAJOHN]

Hey man, sorry for your loss. I lost my Mama about 4 years ago, you never get used to the loss. I lost my Dad just 5 days after your Mom, this past June. I've been back to CT at least 5 times, caring for Dad in his last days, and helping my siblings clean out his place, all I can say is "IT SUCKS"! I share your pain, hang in there, and remember the "sauce" only postpones having to deal fully with the reality of the loss, hang in there, it gets better with time.

John

[the lone gunman]

So sorry for your loss, My prayers are with you.

[ole farmerbuck]

Trust me, alcohol is not the way out! Been there done that. I used to live on alcohol when my sister died and when i got divorced. I have nine years of of alcohol free life now which i'm proud of. I feel for you very much but alcohol is only a coverup. Now i have a sister slowly passing with a glioma brain tumor. It isnt easy but i'm not going to drink over it. She wouldnt want me to and neither would your Mother want you to. You can pm me your # if you want. I'm pretty well educated in the alcohol thing.

[bikerdoc]

Respect and admiration to you ole farmerbuck. Prayers for you and your sister sent

O P add me to list of those ready to talk by PM or phone. been clean and sober since 3/17/77.

[jc]

today was a bad day for me! im spiraling out of control because today makes 2 months shes been gone tears coming out of my eyes non stop!:( i cant get over the loss of her she was my best friend. the dr wants to put me on paxil or zoloft for anxiety attacks i cant do that. why doesnt she come around me so that i know shes ok? where do people go when they die? do they go to heaven right away & get judged?

[CoRoMo]

PM sent.

[The Deer Hunter]

I'm sorry for your loss man. I know how much my Mum means to me, I can't begin to imagine the pain you must be going through.

Keep your head up and keep on keepin on.

Do you have any friends or family you can spend some time with?

[jc]

no i have a disfunctional family:(:( i live with my brother but we dont talk that much hello & goodbye sort of speak. im really:confused: why am i still here? why doesnt god take me now?

[bikerdoc]

Knock it off an PM one of us Now!

[Larry Ashcraft]

jchampagne,

You need to talk to someone. Probably not me, but someone.

Your talking about a non-reversible (and wrong) solution to a solvable problem.

Ask someone to call you, either by PM or in this thread. There are lots of caring people here who are willing to help.

[megatronrules]

I'm so sorry to read about your mom. I lost mother in May of '07,she was diaognosed with breast cancer in september of '04. Those few years were very painful for both my mother and our family. She was in remission for almost 16 months,but when her cancer returned the doctors gave us grim news.

Mom's cancer had spread to her bones and lungs. The Doctors gave my mother 3 months to live,she was a very religious woman and said her faith in god would carry her through. It did my mom lived for 6 months longer than the doctors predicted. And she did this without the chemo she had stopped the chemo because it made her very sick and it did nothing to slow the cancer anymore.

The strange thing is that for almost 4 months mom's cancer hadn't progressed,this was without chemo. The doctors were shocked as in their words they had no medical explanation for this. I believe as mom did that her faith in god kept her alive as long as it did. Keep the faith and think of all the good times you and your mom had. Trust me it never goes away completly but it does get better,hang in there.

[Geno]

JC:

I just PMd you my cellular. All calls confidential.

Geno

[bikerdoc]

Thanks for the Pm call Geno or me

[Walkalong]

You need to talk to someone. Probably not me, but someone.

Your talking about a non-reversible (and wrong) solution to a solvable problem.

Ask someone to call you, either by PM or in this thread. There are lots of caring people here who are willing to help.
Yep. Many folks out there who care and will help. Trained professionals as well as friends.

[jc]

you know my mom was so stunnig when she was younger! please just anyone check out aldersonfuneralhome.com her picture is there elsie e champagne. i have to go im really crying hevy talk to you later.:(

[Steven Youngblood]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom.
My prayers are with you.

[Polar Express]

I never thought I'd be writing a 'dear John' letter, but here goes:

Dear John,

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. I don't know you, or your family, but I am very close to my mother, and I can only imagine what pain you may be going through.

I can only hope that you can take comfort that her pain was short-lived, and after reading the details of her service published on the funeral home site, it appears she was a lady of faith, and by my beliefs, she is now in a better place.

I'm also sorry that your sibling situation is not giving you the support that you want. That's not an easy situation to be in. We can't choose our family, and I've had to face that as well in my life, so I know what that can be like.

This next part may be a bit harder to read, but I promise it is intended with kindness, compassion, and support.

There are many on this forum that have offered to help you. That is a remarkable and wonderful thing! I think overall, the members on this forum are showing a wonderful character level by offering to help you. Post after post (I'm sure you've read them all) offering prayers, and willingness to listen to you if you need an ear. I suspect there are those that would even meet you to talk over a cup of coffee or a milkshake.

It seems that you realize the drinking will not solve the problems, or overcome challenges in life. Hopefully, you’ll decide to do something about that, and I pray that is sooner rather than later. If you continue this pattern, it will kill you, and can take others with you. I don't believe that's how God wants us to live, or die.

According to the obituary, you have children and/or nieces & nephews. This is a position of responsibility. As adults, it's our job to display a pattern of behavior that is worth emulating. This means we need to behave in a responsible manner. It's OK to cry, it's OK to miss someone dearly. And it's OK to stumble and make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. We as men (and women) should not be evaluated by our successes, but rather by how we deal with our mistakes. Showing Christopher, Jason, Sky, Jason, Kobe and Cameron that you can accept help when you need it is one way to do just that. We're not meant to walk through life on our own. That's why that 'footprints' story is so wonderful. There are many on this forum (and perhaps others that are not on here) that have offered their hand in support, but in order for that to work, you must choose to accept it. Send us your phone number; we'll even make the call (I know how calling a stranger can be very scary sometimes).

It's OK to stumble and fall; (you haven't failed yet, you only fail if you don't get back up and keep going) it's OK to need help getting up! Most of us have been there, and I believe God doesn't give us anything we can't handle.

Please, accept help, and be that example to others of how to accept help when you need it. If you make the right choices, this world can be a better place for the example you set.

I hope you make that choice, and soon.

PE

[preachnhunt]

PM sent

[jim in Anchorage]

jchampagne,I lost my mom in 2003 and as you said with yours,she was my best friend. I went through a period where my mindset was why bother doing anything if I can't call ma and tell her about it? But I can tell you time will soften it. Not make it go away entirely[never] but I no longer think about it first thing in the morning.
I am living my life as best I can, I am certain thats what my mom wanted, and I have zero doubt your mom wished the same for you.

By the way, I am extremely proud of the support you THR members have offered. It is a special group.

[Gadzooks Mike]

My condolences, jchampagne. Not a day goes by when I don't remember my own parents. I was fortunate - never mistreated physically or emotionally, and I like to think they raised me well. I've never faced anything like you just did, but something that gets me past the rough spots is this - simply reverse the roles. Would you want your son or daughter feeling bad for making a tough decision?

My prayers are with you. Stay well.

[Maverick223]

jchampagne I am sorry for your loss, I recently lost my very close grandmother (more like a second mother really) and am still trying to figure everything out. It has been hard, and I will never forget that lady...she was the greatest person that I have known and am likely to ever know...but things do settle after some time. It gives me peace knowing that she has gone on to be with the Lord. It gives me solace knowing how she enriched other people's lives in all that she did...she really lives on through all of the people she touched. Keep in mind that your mother, like my grandmother, lives through you...as difficult as it is to live without someone, we must honor them by trying to live as they did, and taught us to. In honor of your mother, I would like to encourage you to please leave the alcohol alone. I have not dealt with alcoholism myself, and therefore will not pretend to understand it, but I have a very good friend that is currently dealing with it and have learned a great deal from his poor decisions. I understand that it is very difficult, but please try to take control and understand that neither your problem not the loss of your mother is from any fault that you have committed. Become involved with other activities to take the place of the alcohol. I would also like to urge you to contact one of the many people (such as a pastor, AA, or a trusted friend that has dealt with the issues that you face) that are better equipped to help you with your disease. Friend, you are in my prayers.

[eatont9999]

John,

Several years ago I held my grandfather in my arms as he took his last breath. He was the closest thing to a father I ever had. I understand your pain. Time heals all wounds. It took me years to get things completely back in order. I was too young to drink, but I am sure I would have. Don't become an alcoholic; I am sure your mother would not like that. I understand drinking helps numb the pain, but you will have to face reality some time. The sooner you can accept it, the sooner you can get back on track. I think the best way you can get over your pain is to talk about it. Call some friends and get it off your chest.

[ArizonaTRex]

JC I know what you are feeling, My Mom passed away May 1st, and I just had to take my wonderful wife off of life support two weeks ago. I've lost my Mother and my soulmate.

I know the pain is unbearable!

Please don't drink it will only make you feel worse!

Get help, talk to someone now. If you do not have family to help you thru this then listen to the people here that are offering to help you. Go to Church, any church can help you even if you ar not a memeber , even the funeral home has the ability to steer you toward people to help you through this.

[lobo9er]

i dunno if i can offer much i wasnt blessed with words just want to let you know i'm praying for you too. try to get out of the house get some fresh air
you can make it through this

[conwict]

http://aldersonfuneralhomes.frontrunnerpro.com/runtime/26896/runtime.php?SiteId=26896&NavigatorId=144294&viewOpt=dpaneOnly&ItemId=308954&op=tributeMemorialCandles}

Your mom was very pretty. What a strong face. Hope you're doing OK.

[TexasRedneck]

My friend, please don't take this wrong....but it's time for you to "man up". Your Momma didn't raise a whiney boy - she raised a man, and now it's time for you to show the world the man she raised.

My Mom was diagnosed w/cancer in mid-February, and she chose to check herself out of the hospital a few days later. We lost her in March - lost my Dad 5 years ago, so all that's left is us kids....thing is, we were a "blended family" faced with settling an estate.

Guess what? We're all hanging in there, because that's the way THEY RAISED US. It's been hard at times - especially going through the personal effects - but through it all we know Mom & Dad are in a better place.

I bawled my eyes out at the cemetery, because it was the last time I'd be that physically close to her again on this earth. But I have 4 sisters watching me, and counting on ME to be the strong one - even at times when I just want to sit in the corner and cry. But Mom & Dad didn't raise us that way - I'm now the "man" of the family, and it's my job to keep things together. I'd love to take the easy way and drop into the bottle - but it would dishonor her name and memory.

Oh.....and Mom? Legally, she's my stepmother - but when someone says "Mom", SHE is who comes to my mind, because she took on the challenge when my biomom decided 3 kids were too much trouble and moved halfway across the country.

If you'd like to PM or call me, just let me know - be happy to talk w/you - but please don't expect me to accept you sliding into that bottle, because it's the absolutely WORST way to mark your Mom's life!!! The drugs won't help, either - this is part of life, and you're going to have to learn to compartmentalize it, and deal with it a bit at a time - but all the chemicals in the world won't help you with it in my experience.

[yongxingfreesty]

sorry for your loss bud, keep your head up. you will be alright.

RIP

[BHPshooter]

I haven't logged in for a while, so I just saw this.

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't deal really well with death, but I can't imagine losing my mother. That would be hard on anyone.

I am not as religious as I probably should be, but nevertheless, there are things I firmly believe and things I immutably know.

I KNOW scientifically that energy is neither created nor destroyed, it just changes forms.

I firmly believe that there is a God, and that he knows us individually and loves us. I believe your mother is in a better place where there is no pain. If you want to dig into this deeper, please PM me.

It's okay to be sad, but you and I both know that she wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life in the bottle -- she would want much better for you. Honor her wishes. Get help if you need it.

Wes

[JImbothefiveth]

Hey,
I think you might need some counseling.

When I was a kid and my grandma died, which wasn't as bad as what you're going through, I got some anxiety problems because of it. Seriously, get help, it should make it much easier. The grief will go away with time, so please, don't apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem! That's not what she would want.

why doesnt she come around me so that i know shes ok? None of us know. Maybe it doesn't work that way? Maybe she can't where do people go when they die? do they go to heaven right away & get judged? I believe so. Don't worry though, that would mean she'd get to Heaven sooner.

And Heaven is an awesome place indeed, here's what the bible says
And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them

and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away."

And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new " And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."

Then He said to me, "It is done I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.

So don't worry about her. :)

Don't turn in to an alchoholic either, that won't make it better.

[Maverick223]

I KNOW scientifically that energy is neither created nor destroyed, it just changes forms.Hate to call you out, and please don't be offended, but you are incorrect, the engineer in me peeks out from time to time...nuclear fission and fusion is the destruction of matter, and the creation of energy...it involves relatively small quantities but the matter vanishes, is gone, no longer exists in any form...it is converted into pure massless energy. :)

[jc]

just keeping you posted i been sober for 2 days know & praying & asking god for his forgiveness. the hurting is still there and by me going on the computer i can talk about it with everyone here. i see one of our members try to post my mothers picture here but didnt work can someone re do it please thank you john. by the grace of god and with friends here i can pull through.

[CoRoMo]

http://aldersonfuneralhomes.frontrunnerpro.com/runtime/26896/include/storage/thumb.php?imgName=26896/DeathRecordStub/308954/Champagne_Elsie_E..jpg&imgWidth=165&imgHeight=225&crop=1&edgeFade=15&cropAnchor=top

I'm glad to see you posting again John, and with good news of your efforts in recovery. Your mother would be proud.

[Geno]

JC:

God never let any of us experience more than we could endure. There are some folks around here who are here only because of God's good grace. I fall into that group. You will need to discuss this more than just here on computer. This is a huge issue, and we al need insights on such big issues.

Onward now. Your Mother was absolutely a beautiful woman. I am sure her personality and kindness matched her appearance. There's something classy and elegant about the old photography, isn't there? My mother's pictures are beautiful.

God bless ya, bud.

Geno

[jc]

yes i found that picture with the rest of my mothers things. that was the last year of high school 1955 in cheshire, ct cheshire high school she lost her mother in 1954 of luekemia i thought this picture was the one she wanted me to pick.:)

[GodGuns&Guitars]

STAY SOBER!!! Like I said before, I have cancer and was given 18 months but that is no reason to go and get drunk. I had a cat scan yesterday along with a blood test and will get the results next Wednesday. I pray all goes well and that soon I can return to Colorado and go on an elk hunt come November. I will pray for you and your needs. I do NOT plan on giving up and not fighting the evil that exists inside of me. With luck, I will live beyond what the doctor's have given me like some other people I have met. Now get out there and enjoy life as there is a whole lot of living ahead of you.

[jc]

i will pray for you too! we need you here and i hope that all goes well john god bless you you are in my prayers.

[Larry Ashcraft]

John, I'm proud of you. And THR, I'm proud of you too! :)

[Maverick223]

My prayers with you GG&G as well as John.

[JImbothefiveth]

Great John! Like many of the other posters, you're free to PM me anytime you want.

[rodensouth]

John, I am so happy to see your latest posts! I am praying for you and gg&g.

THR members who have reached out in such a big way .....WOW! Bless you.

[Tacbandit]

JC,
Hang in there man. You've taken a big step toward the healing process.
Keep it up!!! Lots of folks are in your corner, and a lot of us are praying for you. Lean on God in this hard time, and always... God Bless ,
Tacbandit & family

[JImbothefiveth]

Good luck with the cancer GGG

[mrhtml16]

jchampagne,

i lost my dad five years ago to a heart attack right in our driveway. watching him go right before my eyes is something i'll never forget. it still hurts to this day remembering all the times i shared with him. and like everyone, i have my regrets too. but i believe God has a reason for everything, even if we don't understand it at the time. i can only hope i'll be half the man my dad was, i believe that's what keeps me going in the right direction. don't let your mom down, kick that nasty drinking habit out the door man! We all got your back! My prayers go out to you and GG&G. My mom faced a bout with breast cancer and won right before dad passed, keep the faith!

[bang_bang]

I didn't really know what to say earlier...but glad you're headed in the right direction. I couldn't imagine loosing my mother....

I'm young, but I've lost several good friends and some family members in the past few years. Yeah, you have to mourn, but you have to celebrate your memories you had with them also. Death isn't all about the end...it's about honoring the ones you loved and cared for.

GGG- cancer is a tough enemy. I lost an aunt around Thanksgiving last year to cancer....her second round of what they thought had gone into remission. Simply, it was her time...she had fought with all she had until the cancer ate away at her strength. She was prepared, God took her under his guidance that day. My uncle and cousin were prepared also....ate Thanksgiving dinner with friends and family the next day.

I'm not saying loosing someone is easy, it never is. It's just that it's all on the way you approach it. It's not the end of the world, and definitely not what they would want. Your mother would want you to celebrate her...

Never give up.

[PSYCHOBILLY]

Sorry to hear. I just lost my Dad on July 2nd of this year. So I know what your going through. Heart attack out of the blue.The booze doesnt help. Trust me I binged for a few days. It helps me to remember the good and funny times. Thoughts and Prayers out from AZ.

[GodGuns&Guitars]

For those who have offered prayers and thoughts, thank you. I'm not going to give up without a HARD fight. I've met several people that have fought the same type of cancer that I have and they were diagnosed with it back in 2000, so I take what the doctors say with a grain of salt. I was just trying to let others know, that no matter how bad you think things are, there is/are those of us that suffer much worse things.

I lost my Father back in the early 90's from prostate cancer. That was particularly hard as he had been my soul hunting and fishing partner most of our lives together. My Mother I lost in the early 2000's to alziemers. That was a particular slow death and it finally just drained her to where she finally just threw in the towel, and gave up. I believe she was tired, and she wanted to go ahead and be with her partener of over 50 years.

I by no means wish to steal this thread as I believe John needs our help more than I do. I have a good faith in God, and pray each and every day.

[bang_bang]

GGG- I think your illness, your story with the same struggles and your experiences is a reminder that there is actually a warm being sitting behind the computer, typing these words. We all are here for the same interests, thus bringing some of us closer over years and years of shared knowledge about our hobbies. We are not here just for fun, but for support to those that need it.

The difference between the right word and the nearly right word is the difference between lightning and lightning bug.- Hunter S. Thompson

Sometimes people are left speechless over situations and feeling helpless on how to handle them. Also remember that bad things happen to good people...but good things only happen to good people.

Take care guys...if anyone needs to talk, there is plenty of people that linger these forums that will take the time to listen.

[Maverick223]

I by no means wish to steal this thread as I believe John needs our help more than I do. I have a good faith in God, and pray each and every day.I believe that both of you are on the right track...and God is with you both helping with your trials, keep strong.

[new gun guy]

i am sorry for your loss i know it hurts really bad and never really stops i still miss my father after 12 years he passed in front of me when i was 15 in my arms and i dont go a day without visiting the moment in my head and wishing he could have met my daughters whom are my world but i just had to adapt and try and make him proud and even if its not true about people watching over you from heaven i have faith its true and just honor his memory. i know your mother is watching over you and she wants to see you happy so just take it day by day and dont kill your self drinking so much. i smoked my share of leftys to help but that was prior to my family and career. but i know people people mean well when they say move on or man up but i know that is the last thing people want to hear when they lose someone they love my advice for you is take it day by day and things will fall into place i promise that is how the process works sometimes quicker than others but being strong is not what id tell anyone that is what good friends are there for is to be strong for you when you cant be strong for yourself. take care and i hope that everything falls into place for you

[jc]

coromo posted a picture of my mother on this post can someone make this as my avatar it would make me very happy thank you john.

[Maverick223]

Sorry JC, there are no avatars here at THR. :)

[MD_Willington]

Sorry to hear that... I just came back from BC Canada, my grand mother & second cousin passed away two weeks back all within 2 days of each other...

Brings things into perspective PDQ on where you're heading in life...