Okay, but it


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Meesh
September 4, 2009, 07:00 PM
But it's gonna cost me...
Posted last week (Mixed Marriage) that my husband wasn't totally on board with me getting a gun. Well, just ordered the wall safe, and it's pretty much a done deal that when I decide on which gun I want I'm going to get it. BUT he wants me to track how much I spend on my new hobby so that he can go and spend an equal amount on his own interests. Well, fair enough! We're doing okay so we can both afford to indulge ourselves a bit.

Meesh

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DFW1911
September 4, 2009, 07:09 PM
:) If your new hobby takes off like many of ours have, he's going to be able to buy planes, trains, and automobiles!

Welcome to the hobby...have fun!

ruger700
September 4, 2009, 09:17 PM
Remind him that you will be protecting your family, not just you. Therefore, it really is a family expense. The rounds expended are practice so you will be properly prepared in case of an emergency. The additional items you add can be the fastest reload, as in a another gun.

If he does not agree. then inform him that you will not use it to protect him (ha ha). Maybe he will ease up a little.

Quoheleth
September 4, 2009, 09:22 PM
Congrats.

In all seriousness, keep talking about firearms - the how, what and why - in a conversational, gentle way every now & then.

Do not tell him about the hunks you met at the range.
Do not make innuendos about their guns and firepower.
Do not make too many male buddies and spend too much time "talking shop."

I say these because hubby sounds a bit defensive. You do not want to give any reasons for additional defensiveness.

I am a pastor and a good deal of my time trying to undo marital damage that a little bit of thinking and a whole lot of care could have prevented. All I'm saying is to enjoy your new hobby and sport, but don't forget what you committed to first - your husband.

Q

eatont9999
September 4, 2009, 09:43 PM
I am happy for you! Your first gun purchase will feel so great. If I were you, I would try to get my partner to join me at the range. He may be difficult, but if he interested in you, he should be interested in the tings you do. Marriage is supposed to be a two way street. He seems willing to be open about letting you get the gun. Maybe he just wants the money for a new fishing pole and tackle, I don't know. See if you can get him to shoot with you. I think the both of you will have fun.

CombatArmsUSAF
September 4, 2009, 11:02 PM
That's awesome, I hope he comes around and starts to go shooting with you eventually.

Meesh
September 5, 2009, 07:40 PM
We're planning on hitting the range tomorrow, after hanging out with the Sunday paper and some coffee.

I know better than to talk about guys from the range, etc, Quoheleth. This is the 2nd time around for both of us and we each appreciate the other very much (probably why he came around so fast, he knows when I decide I want to do something I pretty much go after it with a laser-like intensity).

I know it's probably going to be mostly my hobby, but the range is very close and it'll be easy enough for him to come along now and again just to humor me, if nothing else.

Meesh

Beelzy
September 5, 2009, 07:48 PM
Tell him no problem with the equal spend method, as long as it is Security/Safety
related like your Hobby.

Enjoy the extra dough. :-)

pmeisel
September 5, 2009, 07:49 PM
Let us know how your addiction, I mean hobby, progresses.

9MMare
September 5, 2009, 07:56 PM
But it's gonna cost me...
Posted last week (Mixed Marriage) that my husband wasn't totally on board with me getting a gun. Well, just ordered the wall safe, and it's pretty much a done deal that when I decide on which gun I want I'm going to get it. BUT he wants me to track how much I spend on my new hobby so that he can go and spend an equal amount on his own interests. Well, fair enough! We're doing okay so we can both afford to indulge ourselves a bit.

Meesh

So it sounds like his objections are more financial than ethical? He's not against guns, just the $$ (or possibly the time you'll spend shooting apart from him)?

But anyway, have fun! Did I miss where you've decided on a firearm yet? Or are you still deciding?

9MMare
September 5, 2009, 07:59 PM
Congrats.

All I'm saying is to enjoy your new hobby and sport, but don't forget what you committed to first - your husband.

Q

I like this ^^^

Meesh
September 5, 2009, 08:54 PM
9MMare, have not decided yet. Tomorrow I am going to try out snubbies, S&W 642 and Ruger LCP if they've got them avail for rent, else whatever they have that's close.

I am undecided about registering for my CCP, which is apparently very easy to do in VA. If I am going for a home defense gun size won't matter so much. Regardless, I won't feel comfortable carrying concealed until I am VERY proficient at the range, so my first gun will probably be something large enough to not kick too much.

I'll be renting for the time being while I figure it out.

Meesh

content
September 5, 2009, 09:37 PM
Hello friends and neighbors/// Tell him firearm cost but leave out ammo cost ;- ) //// Like paying monthly for security system but not including cost of electricity to run it.

You may want to try S&W 638 air weight 38 special: 5 shot 38 special ,light weight frame but stainless cylinder and barrel. (best of both worlds) .

I hope you enjoy firearm ownership and only have to use them for recreation.

Phydeaux642
September 5, 2009, 10:03 PM
The 642 is a great choice if the recoil doesn't bother you. They are a bit snappy, but not unmanageable.

If you decide that shooting is something that you really enjoy, I would caution you not to go on a buying rampage and pick up everyhting that mildly interests you. I did this and have ended up with a few things that I just don't care much about (AR-15, a couple of Kel-tec pistols, Saigas in 7.62x39, etc.) and I have had to pass up some things that I would have liked to have had (many revolvers, Marlin 1894c NIB for $375:banghead:). I know a lot of folks would disagree with me, and that's okay, but for me I wish I would have stayed with the things that really floated my boat and left the other things on the shelf. YMMV.

9MMare
September 6, 2009, 01:19 AM
9MMare, have not decided yet. Tomorrow I am going to try out snubbies, S&W 642 and Ruger LCP if they've got them avail for rent, else whatever they have that's close.

I am undecided about registering for my CCP, which is apparently very easy to do in VA. If I am going for a home defense gun size won't matter so much. Regardless, I won't feel comfortable carrying concealed until I am VERY proficient at the range, so my first gun will probably be something large enough to not kick too much.

I'll be renting for the time being while I figure it out.

Meesh

I'm going about it about the same way. I bought my 9mm last week, after trying many guns. I got my CPL, but will not be carrying until I am much more comfortable with my gun and much more proficient with it.

When the time comes, I may get a smaller carry gun, but right now my fullsize (4.25" barrel) is good for home or purse carry.

I read several threads here in the Strategies & Tactics section that really gave me food for thought about the decisions to be made when carrying (scenarios).....and the ethical and legal considerations (lawsuits) I hadnt thought of....really helpful.

9MMare
September 6, 2009, 01:25 AM
The 642 is a great choice if
If you decide that shooting is something that you really enjoy, I would caution you not to go on a buying rampage and pick up everyhting that mildly interests you. .

LOL I wonder if this is different for women? Because you guys sure do like to collect them. I have little interest in getting more guns, altho it is fun shooting different ones.

I plan to invest in training instead. When I get better with my gun, I want to start taking defensive shooting and tactics classes. I think they'll be challenging and fun...and practical, of course.

Sorry, off-topic. Your warning to Meesh just made me smile.

peyton
September 6, 2009, 03:41 AM
I think communication is important in a marriage, and finding things to do together helps a lot too. I have been around people who grew up in gun owning families, yet I was the first one to own a rifle in my family(Got it for my 16th birthday and still have it). Take hubby along and fire a couple of revolvers. I would start with a .22 4 inch or 6 inch, put the target close and see the smile when the target comes back with HOLES in it. Handle a bunch and shoot them. A 2 inch snubbie is fine to carry but real hard to train with.

armoredman
September 6, 2009, 03:50 AM
Best of luck to you! My wife had zero interest in guns when we started dating, now she helps me run czforum.com, and owns half the guns in the house.

DHJenkins
September 6, 2009, 12:33 PM
Awesome!

Even though I view his attitude as a tad bit childish since the money you're spending is going towards protecting your family, while the money he's going to spend is (probably) going to be on a personal, somewhat selfish pursuit, at least it seems you've found a common ground.

Out of curiosity, what kind of interests does he have that he'd be spending money on?


Oh, and as an aside, after 7 years, my wife and I still don't have joint bank accounts. My money is mine, and hers is hers. IMO, this arrangement removes one of the biggest arguments from a marriage - money.

Shadow 7D
September 6, 2009, 04:10 PM
One of the ways to finance a marriage that I have learned is that you both have your "mad" money. In my marriage I can buy guns, but my wife like to spend her money on toys for the kids and clothes. As long as our other financial obligations are met then there is no reason to complain.

The question of home security is what you want to do to upgrade it, that would come out of the home budget (shared) and not gun cash, I would argue that the safe could qualify in that category, same as door locks and a security system.

Next your going to start shooting competitively and get a C&R license

KarenTOC
September 6, 2009, 07:08 PM
LOL I wonder if this is different for women? Because you guys sure do like to collect them. I have little interest in getting more guns, altho it is fun shooting different ones.

:::sigh::: Accumulating guns isn't just a guy thing.

Meesh
September 6, 2009, 07:08 PM
I like the way we handle our money -- he gives me all his money and I pay the bills, handle the investments, etc.

His current passion is ham radio (he's a broadcast engineer, he likes his job and it's also a hobby, not a bad thing). So, in the big scheme of things, should disaster strike we'd be covered by both our hobbies -- he can help us communicate with the outside world while I protect us from it ;-)

We went to the range this morning, he is a GREAT shot, BTW, just not that into it. He did agree to come out at least every few months to fire whatever I do end up getting so he'll be familiar with it.

We ordered a safe the other night and we should have it in time to install it next weekend.

Meesh

CB900F
September 6, 2009, 11:04 PM
Meesh & 9mmare;

Both of you might wish to go to Pax's site: www.corneredcat.com & read the article "Securing Firearms In The Home". And by all means contact her there also, she'll help all she can.

900F

FROGO207
September 7, 2009, 11:54 AM
Meesh
Pleased things worked out OK . I also have a broadcast license with radar endorsement. Happy "shootin" :D

Ky Larry
September 7, 2009, 12:50 PM
Meesh, keep us informed about how things work out. I am always interested in differing veiw points.

Walkalong
September 7, 2009, 01:10 PM
If I am going for a home defense gun size won't matter so much. I won't feel comfortable carrying concealed until I am VERY proficient at the range, so my first gun will probably be something large enough to not kick too much.Yep, if you are looking for a home defense gun, get something like a midsized .38 or .357 to soak up some recoil and be a bit more manageable. Unless of course you are looking at auto's, but it sounded like you are looking at revolvers.

Hard to beat a model 10, 64, 19, 66, 586, 686, Security Six, GP-100, Trooper Mk III....... Remember, you can shoot .38's in .357's, and you will always have a power choice. I download .357 brass to shoot my .357's all the time. Just shoot a little bit of full power .357.

Auto?.....Try an standard XD in 9MM. Very simple to operate (like a revolver), which is a good thing in a crisis, accurate, & easy to shoot well.

When you get proficient with a medium sized gun, then you can get a smaller, lighter, heavier recoiling one to work on, and ultimately carry. That said, plenty of people carry medium and full sized pistols.

kendradad
September 7, 2009, 04:14 PM
Do you have any sisters? ;)


Might want to consider a CZ 75b, great shooting little gun and doesn't kick much, may be a little heavy, but worth a try.

.

danbrew
September 8, 2009, 07:25 AM
Best of luck to you! My wife had zero interest in guns when we started dating, now she helps me run czforum.com, and owns half the guns in the house.

So do the rest of our wives... although that's probably not what you meant...:D

9MMare
September 8, 2009, 01:26 PM
:::sigh::: Accumulating guns isn't just a guy thing.

LOL

OK. I have one female acquaintance that seems to collect them too.

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