[Oleg Volk]

A friend has to write a limerick (http://www.sfu.ca/~finley/discussion.html) based on the story A good man is hard to find (http://xroads.virginia.edu/~DRBR/goodman.html). My quick try is here:
Three lawful adults versus three psychopaths
A classic example which begs for sidearms
They were injured already but they weren't ambushed
Yet they went to the slaughter like 1940s' Jews (http://www.a-human-right.com/jewsfight.html)
But at the point of death, did Grandma wish for a gun?

I think others here can come up with better lines.

[Hutch]

Can't chase those links, Oleg, but yours is no limerick. Limerick is:

a (9 or so syllables)
a (9 or so syllables)
b (6 or so)
b (6 or so)
a (10-12)

"There was a young man from Nantucket".....

etc.

Usually tasteless, and almost never repeatable in polite company.

[Andrew Rothman]

Oleg, you know that limericks rhyme, right?

The problem is that limericks are supposed to be humorous. Nothing too funny about this story.

Still, here are a couple of tries:

A family took quite a spill
But they would be here with us still
Had they followed the rule
Learned in some hard-knocks school
Shoot fast and shoot straight: shoot to kill

When traveling with son and with daughter
If you don't bring a gun then you oughter
For when things get quite tense
You can make your defense
Otherwise you'll just be cannon fodder

[Balog]

Shouldn't a limerick rhyme at some point? That looks more like poorly formatted haiku to me :p

[Oleg Volk]

That's why I asked for better entries than mine ;)

[Keith]

There once were some Jews in Warsaw
who hid away rifles when they foresaw
the cattle trains lining up at the station
and grimly discerned the final destination
And weighing the situation clearly
made their enemies pay very dearly

But the Jews in Krakow, in Minsk and in Prague,
filed silently away, ahead of the man with the prod.
They paid for their own death with possessions and hair
with the gold from their teeth; then rose into the air
borne away on the smoke over a world that didn’t care
If life has great value, then don’t sell it cheaply.
Keep your gun by your side, don’t get on the train meekly

[TallPine]

Keep your gun by your side, don’t get on the train meekly
Can we carve that on a stone somewhere?

[Keith]

I realize the Limerick has nothing to do with what Oleg needs... But, I started thinking of Oleg's line about his Grandma and I couldn't help but contrast that with who had resisted, in Warsaw.
One the one hand, they all died (resisters and non-resisters alike)... Yet, those who resisted must have died with some satisfaction...? Or maybe it doesn't matter once you're dead. I don't know.

I do know that those few resisters in Warsaw held up an entire army for some weeks. If they had all resisted, how many might have survived? How much sooner would the war have ended if more armies were tied up in Kracow, Budapest and Sophia, instead of at the gates of Leningrad and Stalingrad?

Keith

[Steve Smith]

Hutch is 100% correct, limerick is 5 lines, in the syllable amounts he described.

Here's an example...somewhat fitting considering Oleg's poor limerick:

There once was a man with a yearning,
So he came to me looking for learning,
But I set his head right,
Said, "Write only at night,"
For you'll need your day job to keep earning."

[Andrew Rothman]

Please, people! A limerick goes like this:

duh-DA-duh-duh-DA-duh-duh-DAY
duh-DA-duh-duh-DA-duh-duh-DAY
duh DA-duh-duh-DOO
duh DA-duh-duh-DOO
duh-DA-duh-duh-DA-duh-duh-DAY

Get it? Lines 1, 2, and 5 rhyme (Keith - look up "rhyme"), as do 3 and 4.

Like a sonnet or a Haiku, a limerick has a very closely prescribed form.

Oleg (though he ignored it :) ) even posted a link: http://www.sfu.ca/~finley/discussion.html

[ed dixon]

Hmm. That's one of my favorite short stories, but asking for a limerick from it seems pretty odd. Now I do have some awesome knock-knock jokes inspired by "Death in Venice" and a comic opera in the works of "Heart of Darkness."

[Steve Smith]

Mpayne, you noticed that too? Oleg, that link you posted tells exactly how to write a limerick!

[hillbilly]

There once was an old lady who read
about the Misfit who dealt in lead.
On the Road to Tennesee,
they found the Misfit, oh me,
And now, her whole family is dead.


Or.....

On a dusty back road in the hills,
She recognized the bad man who kills.
Bang went Bailey,
and then John Wesley,
And the Misfit? He just did it for thrills.

hillbilly

[Andrew Rothman]

You all make my eyes bleed.

You can count a fifteen-round magazine, but not nine syllables or five lines?

:uhoh:

[Skunkabilly]

How about this:

There once lived a guy named Twoblink.
He looks like Skunky but don't stink.
His calculations were mysical
Of subjects cowboy logistical
But they don't make sense like he think.

:neener:

[hillbilly]

There once was a man called The Misfit
Who met with a talky old nitwit.
She blubbered and cried,
when he shot her, she died,
And he's with Bobby Lee and Hiram, the half-wits.

hillbilly

[Andrew Rothman]

That's the closest yet!

[Keith]

(Keith - look up "rhyme"),

Mpayne, look up "bite me".

Keith

[hillbilly]

Maybe not a "true" limerick in every nitpicky sense of the word, but I do like the way this one sounds....


Ahem.............



A good man is so hard to find.
Harder still, for the tactically blind.
Lady carries no gun,
So the Misfit has fun.
And leaves only bodies behind.

hillbilly

[LynnKCircle]

I don't know if this helps, but a friend of mine wrote it years ago (before the S&W bruhaha with Clinton):

Some say they put their faith in God,
Such is their profession
But for me, I'm more worldly
I trust my Smith and Wesson.

[twoblink]

There once was a Skunk named Jeff
Who was thin and needed to gain heff
He's anything but practical
He's fragile but tactical
He's always wearing black or CF.

:neener:

[280PLUS]

we have here a group that has read,
of the misfit who shot grandma dead,
the battle is thick,
for a good lim'rick trick,
but they should read "wise blood" instead...

:rolleyes:

studied flannery a bit, very interesting author...

you DON'T want to be the controlling, manipulative character in her stories

they never fare well,,,

:D

(chuckle,,,still editing)

[45King]

There once was a family unarmed,
Because they were never alarmed.
'Til one day, sadly,
Some goons behaved badly.
Now the family's compost at a farm.

OR

There once was a family that packed.
One day, some goblins attacked.
Said Brother to Sis,
"You're too quick and don't miss!
Leave me the last one in the back!"


And just for grins...

There once was a young man named Peter
Who attempted to read a gas meter.
Because it was night,
A match he did light,
And it completely, utterly, and irrevocably destroyed forever the meter.
:evil:

[280PLUS]

now we're gettin' somewhere,,,

:D

[hillbilly]

Okay, 280 Plus, here are the first two lines for you....


There once was a preacher whose crime,
Was faking his blinding with lime.......

[280PLUS]

wrapped in barbed wire,,,

he tread through the mire,,,

last one is yours?

:D

[280PLUS]

there once was a preacher who's crime,
was to cause his own blinding with lime,
wrapped in barbed wire,
he trod through the mire,
with rocks in his shoes for all time,,,

the more i think about it the more i remember what a profound writer she was

just fyi

she is the misfit and the grandma is HER grandma

she wasn't all that fond of grandma,,,

ok,,,now back to our regularly scheduled thread,,,

:evil:

[hillbilly]

Bravo, 280Plus, Bravo........

[280PLUS]

i was thinking, in order to finish the story i need one more line,,,

"then he died"

:(

:D

oh, gotta go to work now,,,:eek:

oo,,oo,,gotta correct myself first,,,

IIRC it was her MOTHER that was represented by the grandmother in the misfit story,,,

actually, i'm not sure which it was anymore, it was one or the other,

i'd have to go find it

bye,,,

sniff sniff,,,nobody wants to play anymore,,,:(

:D

[Andrew Rothman]

Mpayne, look up "bite me".

When posting on High Road one might
Write a message that's too full of spite
It's an oldie and yet
It's good not to forget
Armed society's always polite! :)

[Robert Farrar]

...More Political than firearm related.


Too bad Ted got away with it; not to mention the last line proved to be untrue.
Bob
p.s. I recall this from an OLD Hustler Grafilthy cartoon; it was written
on the men's room wall.

Edited out inappropriate content.

[280PLUS]

at high road you know it's not right,
to treat each other with slight
you must remember(e) (poetic license please)
any argument here
could wind you up in a gun fight!

:neener:

ok, 'nuff limericks outta me :barf:

:D

[Psssniper]

there was a young lass from orange county
whose charms were truly a bounty
concealed she carried
but she never married
a good man is hard to find-ty

[Wil Terry]

.

[vertigo7]

I've done a few Mall Ninja Haiku, so it seems appropriate to do a Mall Ninja limerick. :D

The ultimate mall ninja am I
have shoplifters, punks, and thieves to fry
gigawatt taser bolts
and tricked-out HBAR Colts
who wants to be the next goblin to die?

vertigo7, who has way too much free time on his hands

[TaxPhd]

Not firearms, but personal defense . . .

Across the sea in Japan,
There was a Karate Man.
One day in a fight,
He got kicked just right,
And now he's a Judo fan.




Scott

[C.R.Sam]

Let's keep em clean and on topic.

Sam

[bogie]

Oh, now we need a limerick, or some other...
representing Art's dear mother?

[Oleg Volk]

Made another try but getting off the topic of CCW...

A jealous woman named Donna was mad
And so she filled her mother with lead
Disdaining the rifles she chose shotgun
With one trigger pull was the foul deed done
But she feels no better with mother dead


Using unsubtle literary device
To show a common human vice
Author writes confusing story
About wretches most sorry
With even the ending not so nice

[TaxPhd]

Strained rhymes, e.g. "mad/lead" and "story/sorry" usually don't work in limericks.

I used to know the reason why, but forgot it about the same time I forgot the meaning of "iambic pentameter."




Scott

[Oleg Volk]

I guess I am confused as to the proper rhyming. I understand the AABBA order but not the other rules for limericks. I better review the tutorial sites.

[TaxPhd]

A "proper" rhyme would be "mad/dad" or "Volk/folk." A strained rhyme would be the two previously described.

Remembering back to my high school english classes, I was taught that the "better" a poet was, the more free they were to deviate from the established rules. I was never any good, and as such, stuck to the rules religiously.



Scott

[280PLUS]

seems wildterry stumbled into an editor,,,

:what:

guess i'll continue to resist putting up this other one i know, although it could be argued that it was gun related...

:evil:

[durango]

Though Kerry may wear the disguise
Of a hunter with pro-gunner ties
His record is plain
As a liberal pain
Let that be a word to the wise!

[DJJ]

Excellent, durango.

How about:

A net forum called THR
Brought shooters from near and from far
With Oleg as host
And Sam posting most
They argued o'er Glock, SIG and Kahr.

:uhoh:

[durango]

I like it! OK, here's another...

The folks at good old CBS
Had a hatchet-job ready for press
Til the topic got hot
With a threatened boycott
And they ran off like the gutless, left-wing, limousine liberals that they are (I guess).

:evil:

OK, it got a little out of control, but it still rhymed (sort of).

[DJJ]

A High Roader called Skunkabilly
Took "tactical" way beyond silly
With tritium ghost rings
And single-point slings
And a sidesaddle for his Benelli.

:D

[Hal]

There once was a young lad named Volk
Who's images thought could provoke
But his words come out fussin'
Clear the lad's thinking in Russian.
Let Runt write what needs to be wrote.

[Orthonym]

1. There ain't no such thing as a clean limerick.
2. Almost all of the attempts above don't scan.
3. Sorry, Oleg, Isaac Asimov was way ahead of you.