Gun Lies...


4v50 Gary
January 19, 2003, 11:05 PM
OK. Time for fun. Let's so who can be the biggest braggart around here. Me first.

I'd shoot my gun into the air, and then hit the falling bullet with my next round. I'd keep it up until I'd have as many as eight bullets in the air (4 coming down, 4 going up to bounce 'em). For my finale, I'll fire one bullet at a higher trajectory and then split it in half with the next shot.

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January 19, 2003, 11:07 PM
I hope you're not expecting anyone to top that.:what: :what:

Dave Williams
January 19, 2003, 11:09 PM
My semiautos never malfunction.


January 19, 2003, 11:13 PM
4v50 Gary

So- what- you only use one hand? And no blindfold? Pretty lame if you ask me.:neener:

January 19, 2003, 11:38 PM
I have never hit any target other than in the 10-ring....weak handed...with my eyes shut....and with a nasty hangover, severe hemeroids, some kinda VD and a rabid capucine monkey chewing on my trigger-finger knuckle while a black mamba slithered up my bluejeans.:cuss:

January 20, 2003, 12:18 AM
I've never sold a gun that I didn't make money on... :what:

Top THAT one...

2nd Amendment
January 20, 2003, 12:29 AM
Guns? I don't own any guns.

January 20, 2003, 12:44 AM
"I can quit any time I want to." :uhoh:

January 20, 2003, 12:51 AM
"no honey, it's the same gun..." :D

January 20, 2003, 12:58 AM
"I donated my Glock to the local art museum and they accepted it"


January 20, 2003, 01:13 AM
I did the same thing with my Hi-Point!:p

January 20, 2003, 01:24 AM
"Yeah, we all got our limits, but we dropped them off at a local food shelter on the way back."

This is sometimes used in conjunction with "Nah, we didn't go to any bars. We were hunting pretty hard." Or "Sure we stopped at the casino on the way back, and I actually won $20."

None of these have ever worked, and they never will, but my wife would be suspicious if I didn't try.

January 20, 2003, 01:28 AM
I like to shoot flies with my Raven .25 :neener:

January 20, 2003, 01:55 AM
Love to join you, Gary, but all of my gun, fishing, golf, war, flying, and romance stories are true, so they would be off topic.... :D

Joe America
January 20, 2003, 02:15 AM
The woman I married taught our children how to mold and handload their own bullets before they could walk. She can shoot the eye out of a fly while riding horseback through a tornado. She once carried a M1a through the roughest part of LA without once being bothered by a gang banger. I've seen her shoot a silver dollar at 200yrds with her small frame 38 special. She can out cook, and out love any other woman, and out earn any man walking. Except me. :D

January 20, 2003, 02:30 AM
Gee, you people are good!

Hmm, My 1911 can run 24 rds on just one mag-aka-Hollyweird

I always get the best price/trade/deal .

I have never short -shucked a pump shotgun.

I never miss the wabbit in sporting clays.

Low 5 has never caused me a problem at skeet.

Best heard by a politician actually on broadcast here:

Klinton taking greenheads at

80 yds with his duck rifle :uhoh:

January 20, 2003, 02:43 AM
I got a Mil-spec 1911 that didn't need any work. :what:

January 20, 2003, 02:48 AM
No honey, Ive had that gun for years.

January 20, 2003, 02:49 AM
...back when I was on the teams....

Kahr carrier
January 20, 2003, 04:07 AM
What Guns.:neener:

January 20, 2003, 04:27 AM
I can put a entire mag out of a Glock into a 55 gal drum at handed too...:D

Matt G
January 20, 2003, 06:48 AM
"I was sitting there with my family and my Kimber the other day, and suddenly, everything that Sarah Brady says made sense to me. Well, let me tell you, I took that and all my other guns to the nearest gun buyback, and donated the proceeds to HCI."

Top THAT, if you can. :p

January 20, 2003, 07:10 AM
I've never sold a gun that I didn't make money on...

No honey, Ive had that gun for years.

I think we have a tie!

January 20, 2003, 09:11 AM
I got a gun for my wife. I won out on the deal.

January 20, 2003, 09:16 AM
I've got all the guns I need; I'm not going to buy any more.

Marko Kloos
January 20, 2003, 10:07 AM
I'll never trade this one away.

January 20, 2003, 10:14 AM
I agree with everything the BATF has ever done or said about firearms!

That should be up there.

January 20, 2003, 11:23 AM
I can circumcise a fly 25 yards away, using weak hand shooting backwards with a 2" mirror to aim at it ... :evil:

January 20, 2003, 11:46 AM
Stop it, you guys. It is already over the tops of my waders, and my boat has floated away ! ! ! ! ! !


OK, story..

Free-hand weak side 1-shot stop on a rogue rhino with my .22-Shorts only RG revolver, at 500 Yards, while sinking in a pool of quicksand....

January 20, 2003, 12:35 PM
I'm going to stop buying and start training more.

January 20, 2003, 12:36 PM
I can produce handloaded ammo with graduated charges such that when I fire my high capacity gun and start at a high elevation, fire all rounds (from the lowest charged to the highest charged round) in declining angles, I can have all of the bullets land on the same target all at the same time. Much like the Crusader.

January 20, 2003, 12:44 PM
i've NEVER had a gun fall out of my waistband and into the street.

i've NEVER walked out of the house at 7am to realize at 9pm that i didnt have my drivers license OR my CHP, as i was attempting to buy another gun. nope, never happened. :uhoh: and since it didnt happen, i didnt have to make it home and back in ten minutes. uh-huh. glad to say that never happened.

January 20, 2003, 01:04 PM
"Mine's bigger than your's":D

January 20, 2003, 01:21 PM
I invited Sarah Brady to the range for an afternoon Steel Shoot, and she decided that shooting ain't quite so bad after all. Now if I can just get her to join the NRA...

January 20, 2003, 02:43 PM
This is the last gun I'm going to buy....

January 20, 2003, 02:57 PM
"Rosie" joined the NRA!:what:

January 20, 2003, 03:35 PM
I use a 30-30 win for shooting skeet.I can hit 19 of 20.

January 20, 2003, 03:47 PM
I taught Billy Dixon, John Wayne, AND Arnold Schwarzenager how to shoot.

Lord Grey Boots
January 20, 2003, 04:04 PM
The net cost to register all the guns in Canada will only be 2 million dollars. Alan Rock

Elmer Snerd
January 20, 2003, 04:06 PM
1. I won the "gun lies" contest thread.
2. It was such a bad season that even the biggest liars didn't hit anything.
3. My gun sprouted tiny arms and legs then loaded, aimed and fired itself. Its teflon-coated high-velocity subsonic armor-piercing cop-killer hollowpoint high-powered sniper bullets blew softball-sized holes through a brick wall 17 miles away(after blasting through 3 trees, a steel mill, and a bulletproof vest factory), missing a baby by 4.7 millimeters. Guns should be banned!
4. I opened 2 shells of #9 shot and marked my initials on one pellet in each. I shot a roach in the left testicle with a cylinder bore from 2 feet, and the in the right one from 2 miles, hitting with the marked pellets and no others each time.

Art Eatman
January 20, 2003, 04:07 PM
I shot a really old buck, one time. Decided to back-trail him to see where he'd been.

Found where he'd been born.

:), Art

January 20, 2003, 04:17 PM
I've got a glock made of metal that doesnt go kaboom!:neener:

January 20, 2003, 04:21 PM
dominate eye or weak hand/side. I shoot equally well with either hand...chris3

January 20, 2003, 04:27 PM
You shoulda seen the beautiful king squid I took with my Glock while diving off the coast of Florida!

January 20, 2003, 04:34 PM
The gubmint decided to give us all who are old enough our choice of one fully auto weapon as retribution for all the crappy gun laws they have passed, after repealing all of those laws of course! :what:

January 20, 2003, 05:17 PM
"Everything I have has a utilitarian purpose, honey. That M44? Its an antique, that's its purpose. Oh, the SAR-1? Well, umm, its fun to shoot at the range and ammo is cheap. And yes, I did in fact need another 4" .357 just in case the first one ever messes up on me...."

January 20, 2003, 05:30 PM
I can put a entire mag out of a Glock into a 55 gal drum at handed too...

Wow - you must have an awfully strong throwing arm!

Was the mag loaded or empty?

Next time try shooting at the barrel instead :D

January 20, 2003, 06:10 PM
I thought this was suppose to be a bragging thread? I do all the stuff you guys/gals have mentioned ALL the time. I have no need to "brag" about every day occurrences! Sheese!!

January 20, 2003, 08:03 PM
I'm really good at snipering, since I play a lot of Counter-Strike. But I'm going to get a license to buy a Deagle before I register my AWP.

January 20, 2003, 08:09 PM

How about back-trailed a really old buck and found out where his daddy was born?

Just kiddin'... I vote for Art's. I usually don't ROTFL, but this time it was close!

January 21, 2003, 07:44 AM
"My handguns make me hunt children and family members whenever I handle them. They only stop when I give them to criminals. The Government NEEDS to take my guns away for the Greater Good."

Art's is very good, however.


January 21, 2003, 09:08 AM
Melting my guns in NJ will save the life of a toddler in Nebraska.

Joe Demko
January 21, 2003, 10:47 AM
My Glock is perfect.
My HK would have been a bargain at twice the price.
I'm such an excellent shot that the military rifle I'm using actually does make a difference.
You can fill my AK with a mixture of accra-glas and carborundum, run over it with a drag line, use the wrong caliber ammo, and it will still fire off a full mag without a hitch.
My mini-14 will do sub-moa with cheap surplus ammo, and the accuracy actually improves as the barrel heats up.
My Ar-15 once jammed because of the angle at which the sun was illuminating it.
Jeff Cooper is the humblest man I know.
A Keltec is something a man can stake his life on.
My .357 will shoot through two engine blocks.

January 21, 2003, 10:54 AM
Guns, Guns...I dont have any guns. :what:

Gary H
January 21, 2003, 10:56 AM
My wife can rack the slide on a semi-auto pistol.

January 21, 2003, 01:15 PM
We are not addicted to THR... We are not addicted to THR...

Elmer Snerd
January 21, 2003, 01:32 PM
Al Gore, Sarah Brady, and Billary have seen the error of their ways and have become pro-gun.

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