[geekWithA.45]

Americans Demand Increased Government Protection From Themselves (http://www.theonion.com/3943/news2.html)

The really interesting thing is that everything except guns are mentioned, because, of course, they believe that people actually DO need protection from them, and therefore it wouldn't be ironic.

[jfh]

You know, if we do it right this kind of satire could be entirely rewritten to set it up for the Brady Bunch et.al. demanding no firearms laws.

As in

" Alarmed by the unhealthy choices they make for themselves, the Board and Executive Officers of the Violence Policy Center are calling on the government to enact legislation that will protect them from their own behavior.

"The government is finally starting to take some responsibility for the effect my behavior has on others," said Sara Jane Brady. "But we have a long way to go. I can still refuse to defend myself and Jim in public and in the privacy of our own home.

"I mean, legislators acknowledge that my lies and ignorance about predatory behavior can get people hurt, but don't they care about me, too?

"In light of that problem, I have asked Our Lawyers and Lobbiests to help Congress write a law demanding that I pass CCW requirements and carry at least two assault weapons--one for Jim to drool on and one for me to point at my forehead." (This paragraph needs work; it's too over-the-top too early...but it's a start.)

If we work on this, we can make an excellent satire, c/w photos, et.al. Maybe someone (hint) could offer up some server space, and Oleg could have some revenge. The link provides the structure...try rewriting some of the paragraphs and expanding the character list to include Fineswine and SCUBA Ted, etc., etc.

Done well, it would be untouchable--they're public figures.

If others will contribute some here, I'll try to make a complete text of it; then we just need a graphics source for the appropriate pictures, etc.