Keep the United States Safe from Assault Weapon Violence!


March 16, 2010, 06:23 AM
In my random stumbling around the internet, I came across this site. Its primary goal is to prove that "Assault Weapons" cause crime. Its a sarcastic site, but I've decided to send a link to all my "Anti" friends.

The Coalition to Prevent Assault Weapon Violence
The coalition was organized in the wake of the expiration of the 1994 Assault Weapon Ban that expired on September 13, 2004. It started when one of our founding members read a release by the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence that AK47s and Uzis were coming to our neighborhood this summer.

We investigated and determined that all scientific research to date shows that these weapons are rarely used in crimes. We trust that John Kerry, the Brady Campaign, and independent experts like Tim Robbins would never mislead us, so we set out to prove what the experts cannot - that assault weapons do cause crime.

To that end, we obtained the above "Colt AR-15" assault rifle from a local death merchant and configured a web-cam and lighting to monitor it 24 hours a day.

Much to our embarassment, some astute volunteers pointed out that we needed to "load" the rifle with assault ammunition. A few days later, thanks to some generous paypal donations from our volunteers, we have the rifle loaded with a "magazine" and we again wait for spontaneous acts of violence.

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March 16, 2010, 06:28 AM
Very old news, but still funny....

March 16, 2010, 06:39 AM
Very old news, but still funny...

Why have I not heard about this until now...? I feel so - uninformed...

(like an anti....BA-ZING)

March 16, 2010, 08:30 AM
Wait a minuet, the gun didn't go out on it's own and shoot up a mall? Does this mean that violence is caused by people, not objects? The reality is a lot of people are scared, and if an object (firearms) can be blamed, then said object can be regulated. It's more comforting to hear that the government is going to ban item xyz, than to hear that the government is going to fund the enrichment of our poor neighborhoods so that people aren't drawn in to the gangs and drugs that fuel so much violence today. I grew up in a VERY liberal small town. The people there don't understand the idea of concealed carry. They think that it means that criminals can carry legally! My dad told me to never underestimate the stupidity of the American public, and still I am surprised everyday.

Tim the student
March 16, 2010, 08:57 AM
First time I've seen it. Dang funny.

March 16, 2010, 09:37 AM
Darn! I've been conducting a similar test for the past 35 years using a 1911 and didn't even know it.

March 16, 2010, 09:46 AM
Wow. I didn't know that site was still up. And the evil gun still hasn't jumped out of the room and mowed down kindergartners. Perhaps if they attach some rails and a deadly laser sight to it....

March 16, 2010, 09:58 AM
There is quite a bit of old pro and anti gun news I do not know about.

Of course the only TV I watch is anything but news programs. Same thing with the internet surfing.

March 16, 2010, 11:32 AM
Haha, that's great. Thanks for posting it (even thought it's five years old).

March 16, 2010, 11:49 AM
Hmmm. I don't recall my CCW ever trying to squirm its way out of my pocket or belt holster. But since I can't monitor my other firearms 24/7, I guess to play it safe, I'll have to keep them locked in the safe.

There! That should do it!

March 16, 2010, 12:24 PM
It would cause more crime if they attached one of those "shoulder things that goes up"

March 16, 2010, 12:47 PM
Well maybe my Glock I keep loaded in my underwear drawer hasn't committed a crime because its a girl Glock and it likes being next to men's underwear! :what::evil:

fireman 9731
March 16, 2010, 11:45 PM
I thought that when you put the bayonet on it, that it went out and killed innocent babies!

Silent Rifleman
March 16, 2010, 11:49 PM

If there ever was a test case for banning guns, there it is. Law abiding citizens murdered and robbed after surrendering their arms to the local government, because they were the only people who did. The bad guys kept theirs and it was a slaughterhouse.

How can anyone ever un-**** that level of stupidity? For that reason, I have completely given up on anti-'s

March 16, 2010, 11:58 PM
id like to know who donates

March 17, 2010, 12:36 AM
website of awesomeness.

If you enjoyed reading about "Keep the United States Safe from Assault Weapon Violence!" here in archive, you'll LOVE our community. Come join today for the full version!