For Persnickety and the Ladies of THR


December 10, 2003, 10:02 AM
In the thread about feminine protection, Persnickety wrote:

Anyway - I'm a female who bought a gun for political reasons as much as anything (figured I'd better buy one while I could 'just in case'!), & have much to learn & no 'natural' interest whatsoever.

I would LOVE to hear carry techniques from any female. I have a snubby .38, and it seems no matter where I put it, it either gouges me or shows.

I'm not really interested in purse carry, as I seldom carry a purse and anyway, that seems the most likely thing a thug would grab.

Are there any straight-forward 'beginner's guides to ammunition' out there?

Also - just hows does one develop a 'warrior spirit'? I am not naturally brave.

Any bright ideas out there?

I thought these were very good questions and I was afraid that since the thread that they were posted in was getting rather long that they might go unnoticed. So...I did the typical 'mama' thing and wanted to help out.

I'm going to need a little time to compose my thoughts on this, so feel free to jump in and get the ball rolling without me...

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December 10, 2003, 11:24 AM
Also - just hows does one develop a 'warrior spirit'? I am not naturally brave.
I've took a pistol class this summer, and my fellow students included several women. One thing they commented on was the usefulness of demanding verbal compliance while drawing. That is, telling the Bad Guy, in commanding and forceful language, exactly what he'd better do if he doesn't want to get shot in the next couple seconds. Several people commented that it's really hard to be timid while hollering "Get the **** back!" or something along those lines.

Are there any straight-forward 'beginner's guides to ammunition' out there?
The online magazine Doing Freedom! has just such an article: The Wide World of Ammunition (

I would LOVE to hear carry techniques from any female.
The same magazine also has these two pieces, written by a woman: A Woman's Primer on Defensive Firearm Use ( and Fundamentals of Self-Defense (

December 10, 2003, 11:24 AM
I'll try a couple of these:
Are there any straight-forward 'beginner's guides to ammunition' out there?Not that I'm aware of, sorry. But just to put it in a nutshell, for defensive use you want Jacketed Hollow Point (JHP) bullets. Get .38 Special caliber JHP ammo from one of the top manufacturers:Remington, Federal and Winchester top the list.
Also - just hows does one develop a 'warrior spirit'? I am not naturally brave. You probably are more courageous than you realize. Seek self-defense training to bring out the warrior in you.

Oleg Volk
December 10, 2003, 11:39 AM
Warrior spirit is knowing that defense of self or someone else is your responsibility. Mother cat vs. bear type of thing. The rest is just claw-sharpening.

Kentucky Rifle
December 10, 2003, 01:18 PM
I've gone to my favorite gunshop for YEARS. I must have stopped in there hundreds of times. It's a "family owned"
shop and thus, has a friendly/"homey" atmosphere. The owner, his wife, and his sister do everything. Last saturday when I went in to pick up my PM9, and after the owner's wife had called NICS and gotten my OK...we had a little talk regarding "feminine protection". Dumbly, I said something like: "You know, you probably should carry a pistol because someone with nefarious intentions might come in". She looked at me and smiled. She also said, "Will, I've been armed every single time you've come through the door". Vaguely embarrassed for some reason, I managed an, "Oh". Attempting a recovery, I said, "Like in an ankle holster maybe"? She replied, "Nope"--and then pointed "down". The "Smart-Carry" and the other holsters of it's "type" seems to fit women quite well because she's been wearing one for years. She had a S&W model 642, .38 Special hidden "right there". Red-faced, I just nodded and pretended to look at a Kimber in the showcase. I think I could have gotten out of it without embarrassment if she hadn't laughed. :uhoh: Trying to relieve me a little, she told me that she sometimes carries her NAA Guardian, Beretta Tomcat, Colt Mustang Pocketlite, and a few others I can't remember right now the same way.
I DO REMEMBER my experience with a holster like that. It felt kinda tight while standing, but when I sat down--WOW!!!!! It was like someone had kicked me right "down there". (Every man on the board just crossed his legs. :D )

Re: The "Warrior Spirit". Well, it just comes. Training and practice makes it come more easily. You just do what you gotta do. Right now I can think of several times when guys said the same thing to me. With tears in their eyes they would say, "I don't think I have what it takes". ~Right now I'm thinking of one particular guy who told me, "I don't think I'm a warrior and I'm scared that I'm gonna let you all down". He then covered his face with his hands so I couldn't see his sobbing. The very next day, I saw this same "kid" throw down his M16, jump into a muddy gorge, and carry out a wounded man who couldn't walk on his own. (He got a Bronze Star out of that one. :) ) A few nights later I asked him if he felt like a "warrior" yet? Sheepishly, he said, I was scared to death--but I HAD to get that guy out of the mud before he was shot again...I just HAD to"!
"I am not naturally brave" was the way you put it, right? Well, you just don't know. When the "metal meets the meat", I think you'll do fine. You've been brave enough to take the first step, haven't you? You'll be just fine.


December 10, 2003, 01:54 PM
Okay...I'm back. :)

I have a list of links on this thread ( that you may find useful.

Also, an excellent book to get you started would be "Armed & Female" by Paxton Quigley. I can't say enough about this lady...she's a fine writer and a straight shooter!

Are there any straight-forward 'beginner's guides to ammunition' out there?

Not that I am aware of...but someone else here may know of one. Now, when it comes to 'ammo of choice', you will find that there are as many different opinions as to the best ammo for different situations as there are different opinions as to the best flavor of ice cream. It can be difficult for someone who is just starting out to understand , but there is a website, AmmoGuide ( that explains the nuts and bolts, so to speak of small-arms cartridges.

Also - just hows does one develop a 'warrior spirit'? I am not naturally brave.

I'm the kind of person that won't step on a bug...literally...I pick them up and put them outside if they get in the house. I don’t have a loud speaking voice and I’m not normally aggressive. I have a very high respect for life…this is why I am willing to do everything in my power to preserve it (meaning self defense and the defense of others).

You don’t have to consider yourself naturally ‘brave’ to protect yourself and others if the need arises…you just have to want to live. You also don’t have to be an aggressive person. Besides, as MuzzleBlast pointed out, you are probably already more courageous than you realize.

A self defense course...or getting some one on one time with someone who is knowledgable in these matters...would be a great start to developing the mindset needed to stay alive in an unfortunate situation.

It's good to see you here...I'm a relative newbie to this forum, but I can tell already that if you stick'll learn a lot from these folks.

December 10, 2003, 02:13 PM
Also - just hows does one develop a 'warrior spirit'? I am not naturally brave.

Take a martial arts class. Ask for some guidance picking a school, but if you get into a good one, it's just the remedy for too much timidity.

I swear, it took me a frickin' year of my sensei saying something like "you know dear, it really is okay to try to hit him.. he kind of expects it when you're sparring" to break through that "don't hurt other people for any reason" mental block. After that, as Oleg says, it's all claw sharpening. :)


December 10, 2003, 05:24 PM

I can really relate to your experience about not hitting hard...

I'm 41 y/o and I can honestly say I've never hit anyone in anger. I didn't even like 'play fighting' with my little sister as a child. (Little sis was a scrapper in the worst way.) I would just pin her down until she promised to stop hitting.

My husband and I were learning a technique of defense called the SCARS method. He often told me to 'go at it harder'. I had a real fear of hurting someone.

Now, I can throw my husband if I have to, which I doubt I would...and he's a 6'1" manly man and I'm barely 5'6" and not that big...(and trying to get smaller, lol!!!).

December 10, 2003, 05:31 PM
I don't have any theoretical objections to using force to stop someone from hurting me. I worry about the deer-in-the-headlights panic freeze. But maybe martial arts would get me accustomed to being attacked.

I actually took Aikido many many years ago - tried to pick it up again a few years back but my knees wouldn't hold up.

Maybe I should be like the Pink Panther and hire someone to jump out at me. ;)

Mama06, those holster/clothing links were interesting - but expen$ive! $43 for underwear?? Has anybody tried those mesh carry undershirts?

I'm half thinking a Victorian-era whale-bone corset with a holster sewn on just below the bosom might do the trick. Well, maybe I'm getting a little tired just now. :rolleyes:

December 10, 2003, 06:42 PM
The "Warrior Spirit" is that which enables you to protect you and yours against overwhelming odds. It is that spirit that arises from within you and will not allow you to give up.

I don't want to start a bruhaha or anything, but I believe the gentleman in this thread ( had the Warrior Spirit. Hopefully he has since learned a few things about tactics, but it was his determination that saved him and his in this case.

December 10, 2003, 07:03 PM

Actually that "deer in the headlights panic freeze" is easily cured by training. Taking a defensive handgun class is a good first step. In a crisis situation, the training takes over.

December 10, 2003, 08:44 PM
<B><I>Three</I></B> rounds from a .357 and the BG doesn't still stop?!?


So what did you think about the suggestion to do pushups and then get your gun and dryfire to simulate real-world stress? If I do that enough, along with regular range practice, should a BG appear on my horizon hopefully my body will know what to do even if my brain freaks out?

Muscle memory, right? Please let it be muscle memory, Blues Bear's "spirit that rises from within" sounds so - I dunno, grand. You're not a romantic, are you, Blue (may I call you Blue?)

December 10, 2003, 09:59 PM
You most certainly may. :)

December 11, 2003, 09:40 AM
Maybe I should be like the Pink Panther and hire someone to jump out at me.:D "Cato....? Cato.....?"

December 11, 2003, 03:25 PM
Years ago, before I became a SAHM, I worked as a Respiratory Therapist, spending most of my time in trauma and ICUs. My family couldn't believe it because I was probably the most tender hearted kid ever born into our family and I couldn't stand to see people in pain.

So, how did someone who would tear easily at the very thought of human suffering become someone who made her living out of shoving breathing tubes into broken and bloody people? Tons of education and simulated practices.

The same principle can be applied to your own 'life saving' skills as you develop them. My husband and I practice possible scenarios and also discuss possibilities. I have read many books about the proper utilization of life saving tools, AKA firearms. Also, gathering information from forums such as this one is very helpful.

If you can, take some form of defensive training class. I am hoping to one day make it to Thunder Ranch with my husband. ..but that is not in the budget this week. ;)

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