Ultimate Scarin' Sheeple...


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bogie
January 23, 2003, 11:40 AM
Hey, I think this one takes the cake...

It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey (points to the person who can explain the origin of the phrase - and it _is_ gun related), so I've brought out my "tactical cold weather gear."

Which includes a pair of army surplus mittens.

With separate trigger fingers.

One of the folks I work with saw 'em, and asked what they were for, so I explained that they were army surplus, and the extra fingers on the mitts were for the soldiers' trigger fingers... Talk about someone turnin' pale, eyes gettin' big, etc... You'd have thought I'd whipped out a Garand...

You know - had a thought... If it's cold, a mitten would be a GREAT place to CCW a derringer...

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Spackler
January 23, 2003, 11:48 AM
I think you're on to something. You could probably make big money by buying up all of those surplus mittens and marketing them as "Tactical Combat Mittens". You'll easily double your money.

one-shot-one
January 23, 2003, 12:00 PM
:D story i heard was that: a brassmonkey was a rack used to stack canon balls, due to the different expansion-contraction rates of brass vs. iron (canon balls) when it got real cold the cannon balls would push themselves off the rack.:confused:

bogie
January 23, 2003, 12:21 PM
That's the right one...

fmjcafe
January 23, 2003, 01:02 PM
Sheesh, what kind of person get shaken up by a pair of mittens? :scrutiny:

Airwolf
January 23, 2003, 01:10 PM
I'd say your sheeple has some SERIOUS issues.

gloves? Gloves? GLOVES?!?!?

Darwin has been so short-circuted in the world today. Someone like that probably wouldn't have survived long enough to become a breeding canidate in the recent past.

The gene pool is in serious need of major cleaning.

OF
January 23, 2003, 01:27 PM
That's a serious sheeple sighting. I'm thinking we ought to start taking photos of these people like trophies. Keep a little disposable camera on you and post photos along with the encounter description to get official credit for the sighting. We could have a database and everything! Maybe a rating system...I'm thinking that Barbara Boxer or maybe 'Tweak' on South Park would be a 10...

I'd love to hear about a TFL'er taking a 'sheeple in the wild' picture.

"Oh my GOD! Is that...is that...a KNIFE? Are you INSANE? Those things KILL CHILDREN!"

"Well, you see this is my pocket knife. Hold still there for a sec. <click>. Bye now."

:)

- Gabe

bogie
January 23, 2003, 02:03 PM
Heh - it is just SO interesting when folks around here need to cut string, shipping bands, whatever...

"Hey, Chuck....."

Joe Demko
January 23, 2003, 02:15 PM
In one of the "Spenser" novels, his pal (Hawk?) hides a small pistola inside a mitten and uses it to dispatch a foe.

Calamity Jane
January 23, 2003, 02:17 PM
One of the folks I work with saw 'em, and asked what they were for, so I explained that they were army surplus, and the extra fingers on the mitts were for the soldiers' trigger fingers... Talk about someone turnin' pale, eyes gettin' big, etc... You'd have thought I'd whipped out a Garand...

AAAIIIIGGGHHH!!!

Are we sure this person can even be properly classified as a vertebrate creature?

:scrutiny:

Fear of mittens, indeed. That enlarges the concept of hoplophobia to dizzying new proportions, eh?

fmjcafe
January 23, 2003, 02:19 PM
I really like that pistol in a mitten idea.....

NINEX19
January 23, 2003, 02:25 PM
Hate to burst the bubble, but.....
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/brassmonkeys.htm

FWIW, I have always thought it to be true also.

Average Guy
January 23, 2003, 02:34 PM
There's a story in Mark Baker's book Cops in which a LEO grabs a couple of guys wearing one glove each. After quite some time, someone wonders about the gloves and as it turns out, each "subject" has a small pistol in the gloved hand, finger on the trigger.

Of course, the ultimate prize would have to go to Giant Robot's finger missiles...
http://www.bucketheadland.com/museum/giantrobot/power.gif

IdahoFarmer
January 23, 2003, 03:26 PM
Finger missles are the best.

RobW
January 23, 2003, 03:31 PM
MITTENOPHOBIA! There's a lot of money to earn with this new disease: books, videos, medication, psychologists, clinics, talk-shows, movies... you get the picture.

Politically Incorrect
January 23, 2003, 06:24 PM
The news report would be "of a man with assault mittens. The mittens have a trigger finger feature that make them deadly when used with a firearm during cold weather."

spacemanspiff
January 23, 2003, 06:26 PM
i bet those mittens dont even have serial numbers sewn in. millions of kids would be saved each year if those evil mittens were banned, or at the very least registered so they could be tracked to their owner.

Kestryll
January 23, 2003, 06:33 PM
Dude! Giant Robot Kicks Butt!!!!!!

I used to watch those all the time, I wanted that stupid watch that controlled the robot so bad!!!
:D :D

sanchezero
January 23, 2003, 08:13 PM
I read that Spenser novel. I was actually Spenser who carried a little gun while jogging and popped some mafia guy.

I thought it was a good idea, so when I was really into running, I often carried a little .380 under a mitten. I dunno, I'm not as gung ho about running anymore :) . I get so t i r e d .

BerettaNut92
January 23, 2003, 08:34 PM
People look at my cell phone and think it's a gun :rolleyes:

Sisco
January 23, 2003, 10:06 PM
Tails or other extremities, if it's cold enough to freeze 'em off it's too cold for me.
One of my favorite lines from M*A*S*H was when Henry came into a crowed tent one cold night and exclaimed "Keep the brass monkeys inside tonight boys!"
GRD you might have something there - I can see a thread now "Show us your Sheeple trophy photo" :D

Steve Smith
January 23, 2003, 10:32 PM
Dang, I hate it when I'm gone too long and can't get the answer in soon enough. I knew the "brass monkey" story too. Of course there's another kind...has to do with "gentlemen's clubs." That's all I'm gonna say about that.

ed dixon
January 23, 2003, 11:02 PM
If this person really was frightened by the mittens, I'd guess he or she is probably irrationally fearful of or dismayed by lots of things. Maybe needs some real help. But how does the overused "sheeple" apply? Everyone who disagrees and now everyone taken aback gets this label? The benighted lemmings versus what... the bold mustangs who parrot worn catchwords? Nervous types who cringe at small dogs and mittens are put in the crosshairs and the larger debate is reduced to schoolyard taunts. Productive. (Flame away, but sheeple, dittohead, and comrade do not trip off my tongue. Never needed to belong to anything that badly.)

BamBam
January 24, 2003, 01:36 AM
Kali headlines:

A five year old girl was expelled from kindergarten for wearing "assault Mittens" yesterday.
"We may have just prevented another Columbine!", says Sarah Brady.

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