Which one are you? (funny)


John Harrison
January 23, 2003, 03:14 PM
Found this on the Neal Boortz (http://www.boortz.com/nealznuz.htm) website:


My thanks to a listener who sent me this great illustration on how conservatives and liberals might react differently when faced with a threat of deadly violence:

Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:


Texan's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."


Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!

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January 23, 2003, 03:27 PM
so the texan is carrying a .45 that holds 8+1. he fires nine shots in the first string. when he reloads, does he chamer a round and then top it off? :D

January 23, 2003, 03:47 PM
ROTFLMAO:) :p :)

January 23, 2003, 04:55 PM

Jesse H
January 23, 2003, 05:07 PM

magazine. magazine. magazine.

...other than that, good one. :-)

January 23, 2003, 05:23 PM
I can't find any place to put a "clip" in my Glock .40 :neener:

Larry Ashcraft
January 23, 2003, 05:30 PM
Maybe the Texan was shooting an M1 Garand and the last bang was supposed to be a "PING". :D :confused:

January 23, 2003, 05:56 PM
The liberal in this story is really an imposter, or at least a very wishy-washy, luke-warm liberal. He never once considered giving that poor, underprivileged victim of capitalism - who had only a knife - his expensive gun.

Politically Incorrect
January 23, 2003, 06:08 PM
I've never owned a Glock, so bear with me. Did the Glock's slide stop fail to keep the slide back? Because the "click" would suggest that it went into battery and fell on an empty chamber or that there was a light primer hit (which is possibly why the Texan switched mags).

Or perhaps the "click" was the sound of the slide stop engaging the slide, but I've never paid attention to the sound of the slide stop. :neener:

Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!

Almost makes me wanna have kids.

Almost :D

January 23, 2003, 06:19 PM
its nice to hear "nice grouping uncle" for us single-and-never-going-to-breed types. :D or should i be embarrased by that? :uhoh: aww heck, least i have more cash for vices than if i was tied down with a ball-and-chain. :neener: :evil:

January 23, 2003, 06:26 PM

Emailed it to all in creation.


January 23, 2003, 06:27 PM
so THATS why i just suffered through some horrible lagging! YOU are the one responsible for internet down times! and all along i thought it was the millions of people looking at naughty pictures online. you should be ashamed of yourself, wasting bandwidth like that. shamed, i tell you. :evil:

January 23, 2003, 07:23 PM
The Texan's answer is wrong. It should be:


Texan's Wife: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Texan's Son: Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!

Texan's Daughter: Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! Ping! ping! ping! ping. ping. pffft. pft.

Daughter: "Daddy, I want a .22 like Jimmy-Bob's. My CO2 cartridges always wimp out on our walks in this part of town!"

Son: "Can I get a 9mm like Mom's?"

Wife: "I'm about ready to move up, myself, so when Daddy gets that new pistol he wants, we'll just pass everything down."

January 23, 2003, 08:38 PM
Daughter says "daddy, can I have the next mag"!:D

January 23, 2003, 08:57 PM

January 23, 2003, 10:24 PM
The moral is don't mess with Texas or anyone in Texas or from Texas.:D

January 24, 2003, 03:59 PM
...and now we know why I wear my Lone Star belt buckle with everything while I'm up here in OKC. NOBODY messes with me :)

January 24, 2003, 04:11 PM
The moral is don't mess with Texas or anyone in Texas or from Texas.

No, the moral is Texan's can't shoot well enough to get the job done with the first shot.

Had to reload? There was only one guy! What would a Texan do when faced with two?:rolleyes:

:neener: :evil:

January 24, 2003, 05:56 PM
The Dallas Morning News this morning had a very interesting picture of one of two individuals involved in a failed home invasion in North Dallas.
results of the gunfight = two BGs dead, home owner wounded in the arm/shoulder and ok, as is his family that were also home at the time, one possibly 12 y.o. BG on the run. Happened not so far from my casa.

Intersting in the photo (and something that caused an uproar with area libs on radio talk shows locally) was one of the defunct BGs in the front yard......face down.....very dead .....and UNCOVERED. One picture that was truely worth a 1000 words.

If I had a digital camera I would put a copy on the Net. I hope other would-be home invaders get the message! No indication charges will be filed against the home owner as none should be.

God Bless Texas!


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