So you want to buy your girlfriend/wife a gun


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1858remington
January 4, 2011, 07:27 AM
Having worked in a couple of local gunshops through the years, I have encountered many a man with this desire. If you are thinking along these lines, there are some things you need to consider.

01. Has your lady ever shot a gun? If not, do her a big favor and have her go through a safety course before you think of buying.

02. What experience does she have with firearms? Take her to the range and have her shoot guns of varying size, type, and caliber. you wouldn't buy a car without test driving one first. Sure the .380 has fancy grips and a gold trigger, but maybe she's more comfortable with the Glock 19. Neither of you will know unless you shoot both.

03. Listen to her not your buddies. This could save a marriage or relationship. If she says she wants a 9mm, dont buy a .380. Unless of course you want to hear about it every time you both go to the range. with enough trial of firearms she will know what she wants.

04. When you go to buy, take her with you. Men, women like to look things over before they buy. My ex-wife took over an hour to inspect coach bags before she bought the right one. The same goes for when she is buying her gun.

05. Dont just think, small wife = small gun. Small guns can be uncomfortable to shoot. If she's made uncomfortable, she wont shoot it. If she wont shoot it, Then its you with the girly gun on the range with your buddies. Dont forget women tend to be great shots. I've seen many small woman handling large caliber guns with no problem.

06. Dont go cheap. Your girl likes good things much like you do. You go cheap and you will hear about it over and over and over. If you truly love her, show her.

07. In case I didn't mention it, Listen to your woman!! Buy what she wants, in the caliber of her choosing.

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Shadow 7D
January 4, 2011, 07:32 AM
Well, like I have been saying lately in the converse (or is it inverse) thread "what gun do I get my wife"

Go ahead and buy that gun for her...
I am sure you will look great in those diamond ear rings, and the Prada Bag that she buys you.

Ask her, take her, let her buy her gun. After all, how would you feel if she bought you "your" gun.


Great post Remington, and something that many men don't bother to think about, how can the interwebz tell you better than the person who is supposed to shoot it, what they will like.

DEAHEAT
January 4, 2011, 07:53 AM
That being said shes not legally old enough to carry yet so i have to keep her safe. Shes has no problems defending her self and i would actually be scared of her in a fight. I was going to get her a kimber guardian angel because i hear such great things!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZhIdzWoqoI&feature=related

Nushif
January 4, 2011, 02:51 PM
This needs expanded and stickied....

goon
January 4, 2011, 04:59 PM
I agree.
It's like guys don't consider their wives/girlfriends to be actual people with their own tastes and preferences or something.
It's a basic respect thing. Just let them choose their own guns - or maybe even no gun at all if they're totally against it.

sniper5
January 4, 2011, 06:28 PM
Agree completely. My wife's first reaction on her first trip to the range when I showed her how a revolver operates was "Oh, they built one for ME!" (she is not mechanically inclined and all the buttons on my autos confused and intimidated her). She spent a year shooting S&W's, Colts, Taurus's, and finally settled on a Ruger GP161 with small grips and light springs.

Her next purchase was a Ruger 10/22 with a Jacaranda stock (it's pretty), and a red dot (this is neat). She HATES pink and when I showed her a S&W M&P 15-22 she said "It's nice and this is probably silly, but I like wood."

Now we're looking at entry level shotguns in bantam and youth sizes. The main contender so far is a Mossberg Silver Reserve O/U Bantam because, yup, you guessed it "It's pretty".

Oh, I should also mention, she shoots some of my milsurps with reduced loads. Her favorite is my M96 Swedish Mauser with a 6.5 x 55 load of 17 grains of SR4759 under a 140 grain A-Max because, yup, "They're pretty. They remind me of painted fingernails." The load she asks me for at the range? "Did you bring any 'Lady Fingers'?"

Upshot? She has gone from gun-hating liberal to a total range rat. "I know we need to reload a bunch of ammo, but do we have enough for ANOTHER trip today?" Now she found another teacher at work who is a gun-nut. They're already talking trapshooting together. This is going to become expensive.:D

Shadow 7D
January 4, 2011, 07:13 PM
Really, no matter how much you spend on Ammo, getting out to the range with your wife, and her being happy about it,
=
Priceless

Magoo
January 5, 2011, 01:12 AM
One problem with letting your lady pick out her own firearm is you might well find out her tastes are as expensive as your own. My S.O. has decided she wants a .357 revolver (has rented/shot a few) and when she came upon a S&W performance center 327 TRR8 fell in love. I won't disparage her tastes, but :banghead:.

I got lucky luring her into firearms. She loved my Buckmark and she now loves her gifted and tweaked "just for her" all the more. She just bought her first self-purchase, firearm and I'll be tuning up that 10/22 for an Appleseed date for the two of us in the spring. Golly I love this gal :).

buckhorn_cortez
January 5, 2011, 05:10 PM
I'd say whatever works, there aren't any rules. My wife said she wanted a pistol 30 years ago, so I got her a stainless, .38 S&W Chief's Special. Last summer she said that she wanted another pistol and I got her a Dan Wesson VBOB. She likes and shoots both of them.

Had her out shooting when I got my FN SLP shotgun this spring and she really got into blowing things up with it. Just purchased a 26-inch barrel for it and took her out trap shooting for the first time this past weekend. Now she wants trap shooting lessons ....


You have to go with the flow and just be attuned to the entire relationship.

DeepSouth
January 5, 2011, 05:19 PM
with enough trial of firearms she will know what she wants.

I think that about summed it up.

Someone here recently gave three steeps to helping a woman buy a gun, he said.

Step 1: Go to the gun store and give her the credit card
Step 2: Back away from the counter
Step 3: Shut up

I would also add to be ready to buy another gun in a few months, she will most likely either love the gun and want another or she'll hate it and want another.

figment
January 5, 2011, 05:31 PM
my wife picked up every gun she thought she might like in the 1000+ table gun show. She ended up with a kahr 9mm. :)

1858remington
January 6, 2011, 02:22 AM
Deep South, those three steps hit the nail on the head.

LHRGunslinger
January 6, 2011, 06:07 AM
Yo someone should make this a sticky.

O C
January 6, 2011, 01:01 PM
On the other hand, go out and buy one of each, revolvers, semi autos,single action, 1911's, compact, polymer, stainless, nickle,blued, .22 to S&W .500. Blindfold her and put each one in her hand and let her choose. You get the leftovers.I've done this for 4 wives, and now own 83 hanguns.

K0ZZZ
January 6, 2011, 02:47 PM
DeepSouth for the win with his 3 rules. That's how my wife gets her guns, the only thing we discuss before hand is price limit.

FIVETWOSEVEN
January 6, 2011, 11:03 PM
Those 3 rules nail it, BUT you have to be careful about the clerk trying to push something on her that just won't work.

My Dad pushed my mom into buying a Beretta Tomcat which she did not like but is happy with a .38 revolver.

Holo
January 6, 2011, 11:12 PM
My gf has become my range buddy. We go every weekend and she loves my autoloaders but a guy at the range was trying out his new .357 smith and when she saw that muzzle flash she fell in love.

Bottom line, i thought she would want an autoloader but she loves the classic look of revolvers. In terms of what she wants...S&W 686 in stainless steel and some cocobolo grips. I had no idea :uhoh:

she says revolvers are like Harleys and autoloaders are like Kawasakis.

bigfatdave
January 7, 2011, 01:30 AM
This should be a sticky and anyone asking the "hurr durr whut gunz shud i by 4 mi girfren" can be banned.

Brian Williams
January 7, 2011, 10:14 PM
We can sticky this for a while.

vaherder
January 10, 2011, 11:21 AM
I don't tell her what guns to buy. She had range duty with the Old Guard and also supervised quals for the MP battalion she was assigned to.

As my daddy told me before I entered OCS always listen to your competent Chiefs and senior enlisted. They can either help you or f you over real bad.
Girlfriend is USA retired E-7.

I dont tell her what cars, trucks or tractors to buy. Only advice I give is on repairs and reliability.

She is currently on a quest for a nice O/U for sporting clays, another for hunting and a nice 9mm for carry. She chose a SCAR 17 for when it all goes to hell and for zombies.

Now I know all her sizes and know La Perla, Agent Provocatuer, HK, Browning, Beretta, Jimmy Choo, Aston Martin, and Laboutin will get me out or trouble.


Va Herder

sacccw
January 10, 2011, 12:13 PM
HA! :-)

CoRoMo
January 10, 2011, 04:01 PM
Here's the deal...
01. Yes, many different sizes, types, and calibers.

02. A bit. Every since we've been together, she's shot as much as I could encourage her to do so. She's not the type to initiate a range day, but if she's in the mood when I'm going, she'll come too and she enjoys it.

03. She has no idea what she wants. She has tried several rentals and every gun that could be borrowed or lent. She never can come up with any type of decision. She wants a tiny gun that weighs nothing, but not a .22 rimfire, and she doesn't want it to recoil at all, but wants it to be a man-stopper.

04. We go together, but she wants me to run the show. She wants me to pick the handguns that I think she'll like and then she handles them. If we walk into Gander Mtn, I take the kids and tell her that I'm going to look at hiking boots and I tell her to go look at handguns, she refuses. She does not have enough of an interest to 'shop' for herself, and when she's holding a pistol, she doesn't know what to look at, look for, nothing. She wants a small one that will disappear while carrying and she wants me to tell her which one is best.

05. I'd give her a thousand dollars if she would just make a decision. I don't care what she wants, just come to a conclusion. We were watching Edge of Darkness... the daughter kept a Kimber in her nightstand, so my wife thought it looked cool and wanted a Kimber, until she held one.

06. Price is of no concern.

07. I'm listening, but she's not saying anything.

She says that she really wants to carry a handgun. She's been saying that for many years though. She's taken a concealed carry class and a women's NRA Basic Pistol course. She's tried many different guns, but she can't decide what she wants. She only knows that she wants a tiny, weightless man-stopper that doesn't kick. I'm supposed to take that information and find her a gun.

goon
January 12, 2011, 03:19 PM
Her expectations don't sound realistic.
We all want a tiny, weightless manstopper that doesn't kick.
But tiny weightless manstoppers kick like hell.
And tiny weightless guns that don't kick like hell might be OK, but they are not manstoppers.

I've heard the .327 Federal is a relatively respectable cartridge with not much recoil, but haven't tried one personally and probably never will since I already have a gun that does that job. You might try a Kel-Tec P-32 for the tiny and weightless requirement. The recoil on them isn't bad, they're surprisingly accurate in my experience, and they're cheap. Not exactly a manstopper, but I'd carry one.

CoRoMo
January 12, 2011, 03:31 PM
Her expectations don't sound realistic.
That's my point.

My wife wants to carry, but not bad enough to do any real searching or evaluating. I want her to carry, but I'm not going to shove an XD in her purse and tell her that she's good to go. She's just not motivated enough to move forward at a consistent pace. She's also too indecisive to come to a conclusion. So back to the title of the thread...
So you want to buy your girlfriend/wife a gun
Yep, sure do. Unfortunately, none of the advice that I've received is getting us anywhere.

jimmyraythomason
January 12, 2011, 03:53 PM
When you go to buy, take her with you. Yep. My dad ALWAYS picked out my mom's cars. She never liked ANY of them!

goon
January 13, 2011, 12:05 PM
Well... I'd respectfully suggest that your problem isn't the advice you're getting. The problem is that your wife doesn't really want to carry.
If she did, she'd be at the gun store with you right now looking over all her options. She'd be bugging you to go gun shopping this weekend.
When my ex-girlfriend wanted to buy her first gun she drove over three hours to meet me so I could go with her to help her choose one. As it turned out, she only really needed me to help her learn how to use it. She bought what she wanted after asking and largely ignoring my suggestions in favor of what she figured would work well for her.
If your wife isn't at least at that point, there's not any point in buying her a gun. About the only thing you could try is buy a gun you like that you think she might also like, then see if she appropriates it for herself.

skiwi
January 13, 2011, 02:16 PM
That's my point.

My wife wants to carry, but not bad enough to do any real searching or evaluating. I want her to carry, but I'm not going to shove an XD in her purse and tell her that she's good to go. She's just not motivated enough to move forward at a consistent pace. She's also too indecisive to come to a conclusion. So back to the title of the thread...

Yep, sure do. Unfortunately, none of the advice that I've received is getting us anywhere.
CoRoMo, it sounds like you wife needs to shoot a lot more to become less sensitive to recoil. Once she is comfortable handling different calibers and gun types -polymer, steel and alloy framed guns, she may become a little more specific. If she is serious about concealed carry, she should commit to shooting regularly, which only reinforces her comfort with guns and recoil.

CoRoMo
January 13, 2011, 05:44 PM
Both goon and skiwi are correct.

She says she wants to move forward, but she's not doing that. Every time a violent news story catches her ear, she kicks herself and says that she needs to stop piddling around and get a handgun to carry. She's had close friends that have become victims of violent crime, and it cause her to take one more step toward carrying, but just the one step.

She's not really that motivated at all. That's the problem.

Maybe I'll start a thread about helping usher things along, but this thread is about me wanting to buy her a gun. If she was fully committed to this, she'd have burned up a case of ammo through her daily carry gun years ago. Like goon posted, what I plan to do is just buy guns that I'm interested in and let her shoot all of them. If she likes one, she can have it. That's really the only advice that could possibly work.

I didn't mean to hijack the thread, I just wanted to add an additional view that I never see posted in these types of threads. I'll call it the 'spirit is willing but the flesh is weak' syndrome.

wrs840
January 13, 2011, 07:00 PM
I bought my wife of 26 years a .38 K frame snub 20 years ago, which was a mistake because she carried it for a few years (because I bought it for "her") but she didn't really like to practice with it, though she did enjoy shooting shotguns. Shooting my BHP changed her mind about handguns being "fun". She loved it. That quickly progressed to her "liking" to shoot my S&W 5904, and soon after she declared that the 5904 was "her's". Now she carries and really likes a S&W 3913. It's a process that I prolonged unnecessarily by thinking that "I" knew what would be best for "her".

Les

skiwi
January 13, 2011, 07:58 PM
Les, it sound like a rather cunning way to buy more guns! The more she claims, the more you need to "replace":rolleyes:

wrs840
January 13, 2011, 08:06 PM
^^^^^
Good point. She never complains about my acquisitions, which is the makings of a fine woman. :D

Les

skiwi
January 14, 2011, 02:37 PM
CoRoMo, do you reload? If so, perhaps try loading up some rounds with minimum powder charges to reduce felt recoil, thus making it more fun for her to shoot more often, then start increasing the loads over time until they are similar to the SD ammo she would carry.

In a similar way, after shooting a 44 magnum then shooting 9mm, it feels like a 22 etc.

CoRoMo
January 14, 2011, 02:58 PM
Yes I do.

My father tried what you are describing, to help my mom like her 642. It didn't work. She should have just done some work and found a proper handgun that she liked, rather than buying the smallest and lightest one without shooting it. My mom loves the way the 642 looks, how little it is, and how light weight it is. But she hates shooting it, so she never shoots it. Over Christmas, she asked me to find a .22lr pistol for her instead. So I showed her a Beretta M21. Sometimes, people just aren't willing to go about things the best way.

I don't want to go that same route with the wife. My wife just needs to decide what she really wants/needs and to go shooting with me more.

I'll take her shooting any time she wants. I've paid for the carry permit and I'll pay for any additional pistol classes she is willing to take. I'll pay for the gun, no matter what it might end up costing. I'll pay for any subsequent guns that she might decide to have instead. I'll pay for all the ammo she could possibly need for practice and some quality ammo to carry. I'll pay for rentals, range sessions, and all accessories she could wish for; Crimson Trace grips, holsters, extra magazines, speed loaders, carry purse, steel targets, you name it. I'll take her out to eat at the place of her choice, to celebrate her decision on a handgun, and I'll take her out every year for the rest of her life, on that anniversary date.

But I'm not going to manufacture the motivation she needs to take the next step.

SSN Vet
January 16, 2011, 05:06 PM
Small guns can be uncomfortable to shoot.

My wifes favorite piece to shoot is my steel framed Colt Commander in .45 acp. The piece isn't too heavy or long (like my full size revolvers), yet it has enough heft to tame normal pressure .45 acp loads.

She especially doesn't like poly framed carry pieces in 9mm, as they tend to have a snappier recoil with more muzzle flip.

Then again, it could be that she has exceptional taste.

btz
January 16, 2011, 11:54 PM
Whatever you can do to get women (half the population) interested in firearms is a good thing. Do what suites your relationship or woman best and it'll work out.

GURU1911
January 21, 2011, 10:38 AM
Gave my new bride a 4" blued colt python for a wedding present. After 30 years, she still has the revolver & me !!!! She even loads all her .357 ammo. About a year later, gave her my 1974 rem model 700 in .243 winchester. Holy smokes she shoots them both very well.

Moral of the story: Cajun women from lafayette, louisiana, like diamonds & colt pythons. Ah-eeeee !

Hedgemeister
January 21, 2011, 10:55 AM
I guess I am lucky. My wife has a Kimber ultra and a Glock 27 that she shoot better than my 6'5" 250lb brother. I bought her a LCP and she hates it saying it does not feel substantial enough in her hand. She is not a big girl, just a country girl from Arkansas.

dogngun
January 21, 2011, 11:41 AM
pick what feels best to her hand.

My wife LOVES her old 4" S&W Combat Masterpiece...but only after she actually shot it at the range. She thought is would be too big, but has had it for years and really enjoys shooting it.

Guys, you would not like it if someone bouight a gun for you without your input...give the ladies that consideration and respect, and I guarantee you they will really take to shooting enthusiastically...and if that gun is ever needed, she will know how it works and how to use it.

mark

oldfool
January 23, 2011, 11:37 AM
"I am sure you will look great in those diamond ear rings, and the Prada Bag that she buys you."

Step 1: Go to the gun store and give her the credit card
Step 2: Back away from the counter
Step 3: Shut up


yep
yep

listen up fellas, there are only two things you can buy for your lady all by yourself that will make her smile every time -
"sparklies" (diamonds, the real kind)
long stemmed roses (the real kind, any color will do)
parfum - risky business, best know her one special favorite, or just forget it
Victoria's Secret - let her buy her own, unless you plan on wearin' it yourself
(count yourself lucky if she wears it at all, see again "sparklies and roses")
call that 37 years worth of opinion, learned the hard way, guys

don't wait for a special reason, "just do it", and spend as much as you can stretch your budget for, and no matter the price, large or small, Walmart or Cartier, you cannot go real wrong
(not even if she has a few problems with being around "plant" stuff too much for too long... something or other to do with the thought that counts thing)

guns, let her shop, any "bad" choice is still a good choice, get over it

PS
what goon said, yes
you can help her pull the wagon, but don't ever push her into one
being kicked in the head by a mule is less hazardous, and more fun

Harleybabe
January 24, 2011, 10:06 PM
Are there ANY woman on her (besides me, a NEWBIE) to help you guys out?

I have an OLD browning 22 that was my dad's. LOVE THE OLD MAN, the gun, not my dad. Would never carry it as it's over 10 inches long and the front site sticks up over half an inch. I also have a GORGEOUS little sleek browning 380 from around 1968. "she' is only 5 inches long and sweet and smooth as can be to carry. BUT it HURTS to shoot and tends to jam and have eject issues... not fun or reliable...nice to look at.
Bought a walther pk380, ok Hubs paid for it, and I am in LOVE with him and it.

He followed the three rules. :-)

Prosser
January 25, 2011, 09:43 AM
Harleybabe:

Thanks for posting. Your post points out that gun preference, and experience are personal, and time experienced.

What works for a woman's hands doesn't for my rather large, XL sized hands. Same problem with the new cell phones. Tiny buttons work great for the 5' woman working on one in Tmobiles display, but don't work at all for me.

Walther PPK/S was the first gun I bought, and, the first one I sold. Grips too small, terrible trigger for me. No accuracy. For you, it's PERFECT. Each to their own.

The best suggestion I can make is take the friend to the range. Put a bunch of different guns out, and let them shoot them. Friend did that with me. Turns out for me, 451 Detonics was my pick. His was his beautiful Python, in .357. I didn't like the noise of the .357, and the light bullet weight. Instead, I went for 200 grains, at 1200 fps, out of a Mark VI, and went to it like a duck to water.

Grip choices, and sizes, are also super important. Match the grips to the hands.

I love women, and, wish they ALL loved handguns and shooting.:D

Sheepdog1968
January 25, 2011, 09:47 AM
I think that about summed it up.

Someone here recently gave three steeps to helping a woman buy a gun, he said.

Step 1: Go to the gun store and give her the credit card
Step 2: Back away from the counter
Step 3: Shut up

I would also add to be ready to buy another gun in a few months, she will most likely either love the gun and want another or she'll hate it and want another.
Not too far from what I did. I bought her a gift certificate at the store so she was under no pressure from me.

s7evnth_WrenkiN
January 27, 2011, 12:11 AM
...

Schuarta
January 28, 2011, 01:02 PM
I let my wife do the picking. :uhoh:

She picked out a cute little 5-shot .38 spec. :banghead:

Tiny grip, lightest weight, smallest size. :eek:

Even with the lightest .38 spec loads I can buy... "It kicks too much!" :cuss:

clance
January 29, 2011, 10:03 PM
The other day I was gone at night and my wife was at home alone. When I got home she stated that she thought she heard someone outside while I was gone, so like a dutiful husband I went outside and check, finding no signs in the snow.

But this got me thinking about a gun for her while I'm gone, so I stated that I was thinking about getting a gun for the house? My wife responded she thought maybe a pistol, but I don't feel conformable with her trying to use a pistol. She doesn't want to go through a safety course and a pistol to my way of thinking is just to easy to accidentally shoot one self without training. As such I opted for a Remington 11-87 Youth in 20ga.

If my wife was willing to go through a firearm training course I would seriously look at a J-frame 38 for her as they are problem the most reliable action and the most forgiving.

hiker44
January 31, 2011, 06:19 PM
First, take her to your lawyer and change your will to exclude her if she uses any of these firearms on you!

OldCavSoldier
February 1, 2011, 07:21 PM
vaherder: Browning Citori Lightnings are excellent first shotguns. My son picked his out at age 10 and still has it...he's 25...and he still shoots it regularly...at game in season and sporting clays in spring/summer.

OldCavSoldier
February 1, 2011, 07:25 PM
Clance: My advice: If you get her a J-frame .38, try to find an S&W model 60 with the 3-inch barrel...or one with the 5 inch barrel. It takes considerable practice to hit a target with a 2-inch snubbie in the dark when one is scared. And do not load .357s in it for her. Stay with 148 grain wadcutters until she says she wants some loads with more ooompf. (Advice is free, and one often gets what he pays for.)

OldCavSoldier
February 1, 2011, 07:34 PM
I am truly blessed. My petite wife of 28 years loves to go to the range with me and loves to shoot my Browning BuckMark for grins. She does not like the larger stuff. My equally petite 23 year old daughter also loves going to the range with me, but, on the other hand, prefers the Series 70 .45ACP Colt Combat Commander (go figure). Both my gals are absolutely deadly accurate. If what they are shooting at is out to 25 feet, their bullets are going in a two inch group exactly where they want them....scared or not......(another loooooong story for another time)

fmcdave
February 2, 2011, 09:52 PM
I have to add my experience. I've been married for 35 years and my wife has shot with me from time to time and has shot most of my pistols. When she decided she wanted to carry, I let her pick out the pistol and she picked a KelTec P32. She liked it because it was small and light. She has a purse with a center gun pouch that she got at the gun show.

She was never able to shoot it very well. That said, I couldn't shoot it very well either. The KelTec P32 is really a belly gun.

The range we shoot at offered a Women's Handgun course (taught by a woman) and she took this class. IMO, it was a great class. It covered theory, handling, legalities, and gave her the opportunity to shoot her KelTec and several other guns. She decided that the KelTec was not for her. She shot well with the instructors Glock 19. She had shot my Glock 23C before. She wanted something a little smaller so we decided on a Glock 26. I put a Pearce extender on the magazines (not extra rounds...just a pinky rest).

I took her to the range and she shot VERY well. She outshot her brother. She now understands that she needed to sacrifice weight for shootability. This is now her bedside gun and carry gun.

BTW, she also started to shoot my Olympic Arms K3B (5.56mm) and LOVES it. She considers it to be her backup home defense gun. She is talking about shooting my defense shotgun now.

So, bottom line: The handgun course she took was a godsend. In case folks are interested, it is offered through Insight. Click here for the course description (http://www.insightstraining.com/view_course.asp?courseID=236).

LiquidTension
February 6, 2011, 08:34 AM
Yeah, you never know what they're gonna like. After having my girlfriend shoot numerous different handguns, the G19 was her second favorite. Her first choice? Witness Elite Match - in 10mm :scrutiny:

When I have extra cash I'm supposed to buy her a Match in 9mm.

clance
February 6, 2011, 12:43 PM
Clance: My advice: If you get her a J-frame .38, try to find an S&W model 60 with the 3-inch barrel...or one with the 5 inch barrel. It takes considerable practice to hit a target with a 2-inch snubbie in the dark when one is scared. And do not load .357s in it for her. Stay with 148 grain wadcutters until she says she wants some loads with more ooompf. (Advice is free, and one often gets what he pays for.)
For the distance that she'll be shooting (12" feet or less) I don't think the barrel length is going to matter.

If I thought she could handle the recoil I would get one of the Taurus Judges and load it with Winchester PDX1 410 Defensive Shotgun Ammo. But with hands as small as her's I don't think she could grip well enough to shoot it comfortably or safely, that is why the J-Frame Smith. Otherwise I would just hand her my Kimber Eclipse Pro or Browning High Power.

The one that I think would fit her would be the S&W 640, the extra weight over the AirLite (S&W 642) would help her control what little recoil there is. Personally I don't like the idea of a hammer gun for a novice cause it either can get snagged on something or if cocked provides a hair trigger under stressful situation where someone could accidental get shot. I prefer it not to be one of our kids who on the spur of the moment decides to drop by or me coming in late at night! :what:

1858remington
February 8, 2011, 03:10 AM
For self defence barrel length can play a part. If the attacker grabs for the gun, the longer barrel will give him leverage to pry it from your hand. A 2 inch gun, if grabbed, can be fired, costing the attacker finger loss and burns.

memphisjim
February 8, 2011, 03:11 AM
dont be fools men if she isnt a gun fanatic dont do it for valentines day

Finn1916
February 9, 2011, 11:29 AM
This is exactly why i'm taking my wife to the gun show in april. As long as she is comfortable holding the gun then we can move on to caliber. I'm personally buying a ruger gp100 in .357 if i can find one there, and since you can load .38 rounds in it as well, she can decide if the .38 is too weak, or if the .357 is too strong and work our way around from there. My hats off to you OP, more people should think like that.

phildoggie
February 11, 2011, 01:44 PM
Two good options,

Sig - 238 (.380) great purse gun.
Sig P-239 (9mm/.40)

Reliable, no stovepiping (see Kimber compacts), easy to conceal.


Gents, as to price: girls say no when they mean yes. Spend the extra money.
she's worth it.

architectom
February 16, 2011, 11:51 AM
"06. Dont go cheap. Your girl likes good things much like you do. You go cheap and you will hear about it over and over and over. If you truly love her, show her."

I must disagree here-
I think this depends entirely on use, value, etc.
When purchasing a firearm for my wife, which was more a priority for me than her-
she preferred I spend less- I am young but I know that loving a woman is about knowing her priorities- my wife's is being financially responsible, so while I could have purchased a engraved colt or a lady s&w, she is content with an "ugly" Beretta for concealed carry- remember, women(most) don't covet their guns like men do- they care more about what the gun is in than what the gun is- and in some ways they are more pragmatic-

Also, in this line of psychology, we have come to a sad state of things that loving a woman means spending, and often more than you can afford to-
My grandfather was a WV coal miner (he carried a Colt 1908 .38)- he never had much to spend on my grandmother, but you've never seen a man love a woman like he did- and I'm confident she wouldn't have felt any more loved if he could have lavished her with fancy things. I've been blessed with great prosperity but I'll never forget what's important and where my roots are- and I'd encourage ya'll to do the same.

Remember what gun ownership is about- freedom. and freedom is as easily gained by a hi-point as a python- The men you gave us this freedom did so holding whatever they could put their hands on.

And don't forget- "the love of money is the root of all evil"

jon_in_wv
February 16, 2011, 07:19 PM
Wise words. Welcome to THR. Sadly there are more than a few gun snobs here who think no weapon can shoot straight unless its $1000 dollars.

omu
February 20, 2011, 07:46 PM
Two good options,

Sig - 238 (.380) great purse gun.
Sig P-239 (9mm/.40)

Gents, as to price: girls say no when they mean yes. Spend the extra money.
she's worth it.

;) Phil's got it right.

My husband (then bf) took me to a friend's house. I got to shoot a .380, .40, 9mm, and .45. I liked the 9mm the best, (less recoil, easy to deal with) and that's what I bought for my first gun. Happened to be a Sig 239 in 9mm. I took my carry course with it. (Then promptly bought a Sig .40 for Christmas so we'd have a larger one in the house.)

I bought an LCP after that for a carry gun. It was small - and beat up my hand when I actually fired it. After about a year, I traded in the LCP for a Sig 238. I have been soooo happy that Sig got on the small gun wagon! My only problem with the new Sig 238 is that I got it so early that I had a hard time finding a good pancake holster for it. I love that gun!!!

Today we went to the range and I put over 100 rounds through my Sig 238, and over 100 round through my Sig P-239. No misfires, no stovepipes, no issues whatsoever! I looooove those guns. :D

The Wiry Irishman
March 2, 2011, 10:25 AM
I've been in the Purdue Rifle and Pistol Club for the better part of forever, because I've been here at Purdue for the better part of forever, and I can't count the number of times I've gotten the "what handgun should I get" question from new shooters.

Male or female, my response is always the same. I ask them how much they're willing to spend, then give them a list of every possible gun I can think of under that price with notes about who in the club has one. I tell them to try as many of them as possible and pick the one that feels and shoots best for them, then offer to take them to the range.

AlexanderA
March 4, 2011, 02:15 PM
My wife has zero interest in guns (either pro or con). I'd like to keep it that way. First, this tends to keep her nose out of my gun collecting activities. Second, I wouldn't trust her with a gun, any more than I would trust her with our finances. Other than that, our relationship is just fine. (Married 33 years, btw.)

jbr
March 4, 2011, 03:08 PM
My wife has zero interest in guns (either pro or con). I'd like to keep it that way. First, this tends to keep her nose out of my gun collecting activities. Second, I wouldn't trust her with a gun, any more than I would trust her with our finances. Other than that, our relationship is just fine. (Married 33 years, btw.)
you better hope she doesn't learn to shoot especially if she reads this forum!

Billyj571
March 5, 2011, 09:45 AM
XDM 9mm wife's dead on with it.

PcolaDawg
March 7, 2011, 11:50 AM
I wanted my wife to carry for her protection, but she was/is very scared of guns.

HOWever, she understands the wisdom of it, and since my sister started carrying a gun and they are best friends, she agreed to take the class and try and find a gun she was comfortable with.

She demanded I attend the class with her (at a Florida gun show), though, as she didn't want to go by herself. I felt that was a small price to pay, plus I could attend for free. PLUS, it's never a bad idea to go through the basics again. I'm glad I did.

Then we went out to the backyard and tried a bunch of different handguns. I was hoping she would go for the nice S&W 642 J Frame. I was even prepared to buy her the one with the pink handle. :o But, she hated the trigger pull, and the recoil was a little much for her.

After shooting a bunch of different guns, she decided on the smallest option we had for her to shoot that day - a Kel Tec P32. She actually ended up enjoying shooting that gun, and was very accurate with it, which also gave her a lot of confidence.

So I got her a Kel Tec P32 (in green, which is her favorite color :o) which she carries with her.

UNFORTUNATELY, she simply refuses to trust a gun without a safety, so she refuses to keep a shell in the chamber. :banghead:

So, basically, I'm still looking. I just bought myself a Bodyguard 380, and she likes the fact that it has a safety and an integrated laser. So she's going to give it a try soon. Unfortunately, I don't think she'll like the recoil at all.

So I'm kind of still looking, but I am pleased she has her CCW license and does carry a handgun. Even if she doesn't keep a bullet in the chamber. :uhoh:

Baby steps are better than no steps at all. :cool:

Nushif
March 7, 2011, 05:27 PM
Second, I wouldn't trust her with a gun, any more than I would trust her with our finances.

I'd be on the couch until the divorce if I wrote that. >.<
Nope. My wife picks all her own guns and does all her own cleaning, shooting and work on her own collection.

Gorgeous Gun Nut
March 14, 2011, 10:57 PM
My husband took me to the gun show this weekend so that I could find my next gun, the one I've been dreaming of, my first 1911! and a Beretta 92FS! I know what I like, and I think if your wives shoot at all, they will know what they want too! I've got pics and info on my guns on my blog.
Nushif, it sounds like your wife and I would get along!
GNG

K0ZZZ
March 16, 2011, 06:33 PM
I like this opinion: http://gunsgunsguns.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/girl-on-guns-what-a-girl-wants/

chargercharlie
March 22, 2011, 07:35 PM
My better half likes the XDM 45 that she bought for my valentines day present..maybe she really got it for herself..........:scrutiny:

LowerLeft
March 29, 2011, 03:24 PM
Hey all, I haven't read all the way through the whole thread - gotta get a move on.
My wife however, from her first marriage has an SP101 - but she doesn't shoot or practice or anything. She's always affraid that the children might get a hold of it and that whole story. No matter the precautions, the locks everything. Anyway, our son together, he's 6 now, has shown a great interest in guns.... But of course, right!
Anyway, I've used the 'I'll get you an airsoft or bb gun upon these conditions' - yes I've had to resort to that. But since then, my wife is coming around and starting to feel much more confortable about the guns. It's two or three times a week I'm showing my son the do's and don'ts of the weapons, teaching, teaching, teaching - and now my wife is starting to lean more towards going to the range with me and firing off her weapon. But what's caught her eye is the Taurus Judge - .45/.410 - she's always talking about a shotgun but when she saw the Judge, I saw the sparkle in her eye, if you will.

Also CoRoMo - if you haven't found a weapon yet, show her the Sub-Compact Beretta PX4 storm in the 9 - that's a bad A$$ item there. I'm going to get the 40 and 45 versions soon, but maybe that's an option.

Man From Boot Hill
March 30, 2011, 04:47 AM
I live with a great gal, But when I needed to buy a beretta 92FS(my carry arm was the M9)for practice when I was working for DOD Police as a member of the Base closure force from 1995-2000 in San Francisco Bay Area. She was not hot on the idea, at first: I took here to the range to keep me company while I did my shooting. She had watched for a time, then She asked if she might try it! Now, mind you she did not like guns and only allowed it in the house because of my training needs. Well, I showed her how to handle the pistol. How to load,unload and other stuff. She has small hands and the 92FS looked like a cannon in her hands. After I showed her the basics, she shot the 10 round mag. She turned to me with a BIG smile on her face and said "Cool, Can I Do It Again! " She was hooked!!!!! She has since that time bought the folowing Guns: a Beretta Cougar 8000 (no longer made by Beretta) a Baby Dragoon pocket pistol (kit gun) And I gave her a Ruger Vaquero in 357. She wants a double action revolver now! We are both SASS members and we belong to a Bay Area reneactor group. I need to show her how shoot a shotgun and a lever action rifle next. She went from not liking guns to loving them! No arm twisting was needed. All women should be so willing. Good luck to the OP, Don't force her But show her how fun it is and stress the stress relief one gets by shooting at a target and pretending it is the jackalope that took the parking space you wanted! That is what my lady does, saves on meds that way.

JustACowgirl
April 9, 2011, 10:04 PM
I'm glad this is stickied. My gun is close to the best gift I've ever received. I was given a price limit and packed off to Sportsman's Warehouse. And promptly fell in love. With a gun outside of the price limit. Oh well :)
I think it's great that guys want to buy their gals guns. May more ladies learn to appreciate that kind of gift. Don't stop with your wives though. Get your daughters guns and teach them to love them, too!

XD9GUY
April 15, 2011, 07:15 PM
Of course your should let your wife/gf choose their own gun. I too had to learn this the hard way.
When my daughter was planning her wedding with my wife, I was complaining to a lady co-worker about the price of a wedding cake. she gave me some wise advice which I took to heart. she said I needed to apply the "3-S" position when it came to wedding planning.
1. Sit down
2. Shut up
3. Shell out.
Had I taken that advice when I bought "Her" a gun, I would have been several hundred dollars better off.

CHEVELLE427
April 19, 2011, 10:06 PM
Even though she was in the NAVY she had had almost no time with a gun when i meet her.

after many thousands of 22lr from my browning nomad, HS sk100, ruger mkIII22/45. (made a dent in my 22 stash)

she picked up a SW-CS9 nice little gun . now she is working on my 9mm stash:eek:.

guess next ill get her into reloading.

ps: she has shot my xdsc40 and xd45 she did good with the 40

Usmc-1
April 20, 2011, 10:26 AM
I'd say no , why risk the hurt you could put upon yourself , dishes and pots and pans are just bruises!!!

droptoptrk
April 21, 2011, 07:19 PM
The reoccurring theme to this thread is to "let your wife/girlfriend pick out her own gun." And although I couldn't agree more, the reasoning goes beyond mere taste. I had let my wife shoot my .40 and she was not a fan. I thought this had put her against guns all together until one day she asked out of the blue if a .22 would stop a man. Generally I think the answer is "no," however I explained that any gun that she was comfortable with, confident with, and accurate with is better than either no gun at all, or a gun that you can't shoot accurately. By approaching it this way, she is now in the shopping phase of gun ownership. Had I said "no, you need at least a 9mm" she may have never picked up another gun. So I will let her pick out what she wants and maybe someday she will be more comfortable with a larger caliber.

KimberUltra
April 22, 2011, 03:21 PM
My girlfriend is being difficult. She loves shooting my 1911, but it would be too big for her to carry. I had her try my lc9 and she hates the double action trigger (alot of it due to her being weak to stabilize the gun with the heavy trigger) She's not so much interested in carrying as much as she just want's to have her own pistol to go shooting with. She loves my Kimber and I'm looking into the 9mm kimbers for her.

Haywireranch
May 2, 2011, 06:31 PM
My wife wanted a pistol for s.d. We went to the local gun store and she got the s&w 637 she liked the fact That it was light and she can pull back the hammer and not have to worry about heavy trigger pull, and she shoots it very well. A perfect match.

George1951
May 8, 2011, 04:39 AM
My wife asked for a Glock for Xmas 2010... so I bought her a G17... much to the deep disappointment of us both.... total piece of crap....been in the shop [ Glock - Atlanta ] longer than we owned it [new} prior to problems.... when I asked that it be repaired under warranty, they refused, and wanted MORE money from me....

RugerNut9
May 13, 2011, 02:20 AM
"My wife asked for a Glock for Xmas 2010... so I bought her a G17... much to the deep disappointment of us both.... total piece of crap....been in the shop [ Glock - Atlanta ] longer than we owned it [new} prior to problems.... when I asked that it be repaired under warranty, they refused, and wanted MORE money from me...."
Really!? This is unheard of.... a Glock with problems?? You sure it wasnt a Sigma series :p

RugerMcMarlin
May 16, 2011, 06:22 PM
Maybe its because I've had more of the wrong kind of experiances with guns and women. But I've found it to be a bad mix. You should be prepared to deal with the irony, that not only is she shooting at you with the gun You got for her, but that you taught her exactly how it works.

bigfatdave
May 16, 2011, 10:20 PM
Sounds like the common factor was YOU, RugerMcMarlin, if that has happened more than once

RugerMcMarlin
May 16, 2011, 11:04 PM
I took a poll of my ex-girl friends and they are in strong agreement with you. Does it help to get along with them if you think like one?

spyderhead
May 21, 2011, 09:46 PM
I made the mistake of buying my wife's first handgun : Lady Smith 38 (talk about a total unshootable POS!) . . . after we got rid of it, we did it the right way. She shot every one of my guns (including the 10mm) and decided the Glock 26 was perfect for her. And it is. She is both very good and quite comfortable with it.

Robbins290
May 22, 2011, 03:20 PM
My wife shoots a ss 1911, carrys a colt mustang plus two and shoots a sks and ruger 1022

PursesRHolsters
May 23, 2011, 08:32 AM
Im a 30 yr. old 5ft 4in 130lb. woman. I have shot for years and find that firearms are very different for each woman. I use a Para .45 auto for home defense and a little .32 auto for carry. Most women who are new to firearms are more comfortable with revolvers, because of the simplicity. Listen to your lady and let her decide for herself what if anything she wants. I would also recommend that she put no less than 100 rounds thru it totally unassisted, before you both feel comfortable in her abilities. Its not a girl thing, its just a smart thing to do for anyone who is new to the sport.

CHEVELLE427
May 23, 2011, 08:45 AM
after letting my GF shoot my target 22's to learn on ,,,,,,,nothing less will do now. BOUGHT HER A WALTER P22 and it shot all over after going from quarter groups to all over the P22 had to go.

now she has her own target gun in the mail (hope it is as good as mine ), she also does well with her SW CS9 AND MY XDSC40 , SO I FIGURED SHE WOULD DO GOOD WITH A XDSC9 wrong, didnt like it WTH.

good thing i have a few for her to try on for size or we would go broke looking for that perfect one for her

ErikO
May 25, 2011, 09:28 AM
I'm (hopefully!) taking my wife to the range on Saturday to see what she wants to get. She and I agree that 22LR pistols are a good way to start learning (or in my case, re-learning) how to shoot properly.

LowerLeft
May 31, 2011, 11:01 AM
Ha! Went to a gun show over the weekend - wife was talking about getting a taser - turns out her flavor is .38 special...lol

Patrice
June 1, 2011, 06:25 AM
Hhmmm....I'm thinking guys might ought to just function in the role of a consultant (i.e., provide their best advice or refer to those who can provide such), and let the spouse/girlfriend choose. Being able to say she bought it for herself is far less embarrassing a tale to tell in a hospital, should the purchase ever be used in a manner not anticipated by the husband/boyfriend.--Patrice :cool:

CathyGo
June 1, 2011, 06:43 AM
What's with the hang up on compact pistols? Just because women have smaller hands doesn't mean they should have a smaller gun. Most of the time the grip diameter is the same anyway. And if you feel it's "less threatening" get over it. Once a new shooter gets over a fear/mistrust of guns anything short of the large bore magnums is about the same size and much more comfortable to shoot than those little compacts.

Every single female MP learns on the Beretta M9. That's a large frame pistol. Let me repeat that. Every single one of us handles and fires a large frame pistol. Get over the small pistol mentality.

RugerMcMarlin
June 2, 2011, 12:40 AM
I had 1 girlfriend that came already proficient with handguns, guns of choice,
Browning High Power, CZ75, iron curtain edition. She was one of the scariest chicks I've ever known, god I miss her.:cool:



Problem "...my girlfriend enjoys shooting my 1911......" so get her one. what problem?

thedrewcifur
July 20, 2011, 10:51 AM
ig i buy my girlfriend a gun its a gift that she wants. she knows what she likes and is good with guns.

bassdogs
July 20, 2011, 11:52 PM
Purchased a Judge Public Defender for my wife. Have it loaded with 2 winchester PD 410 rounds followed with a 45LC HP. #4 is another PD round and #5 another 45 HP. The Public Defender has a snub barrel and a much smaller grip than the full sized judge. Fits a small hand and the rubber grip is easy to grip.

Its a point and shoot gun so you don't have to be a marksman to hit your target.

Rorschach256
July 22, 2011, 04:39 PM
My wife has never really been real interested in shooting. She CAN shoot, but it just hasn't been a high priority with her. I've had her and the daughters to the range to familiarize them with the guns I have in the off chance that they find themselves needing to use one of them. They've fired my .380 Taurus PT 58s carry pistol and my S&W Model 65 .357 (using .38 Spl loads), and my Ruger Mk II Gov. target model so they are familiar with the mechanics of shooting (for the most part, i find I have to remind them how to grip it and manipulate the levers and such because they haven't done it in a while). My wife however recently decided she wants to get a CHL. But she is a very frugal sort and blanched at the prices of new shooting irons. (one reason why I don't have a larger collection.). She did not want to carry a revolver because she doesn't like that it has no safety, so the model 65 was a non-starter (besides it is big.). she likes the Taurus, it fits her hands and the recoil is manageable. but I've had problems with it of late and besides that is my carry pistol, if she carries it i'd have to get a replacement. so off to the range we go with a buddy that has a more extensive collection. She really didn't know what she wanted or even what criteria to look at/think about so we talked about the advantages and disadvantages of various types of guns and features. She was not at all a fan of what Glock euphemistically calls a "safety" (neither am I.). She is still kinda skiddish around guns and likes the idea of a positive safety for something that will be stuffed in her purse. She at first thought she might like a mousegun like a Ruger LCP until she shot my buddy's. She hated the long DAO trigger and the thing kept trying to climb out of her hands. So the microgun concept was also a non starter. she shot my buddy's SR9C and liked it a lot. so now I had two examples of what she liked. now it was time to go find something similar enough that she'll carry it and shoot it but was cheap enough that she didn't use it on me when she saw the bill. so for cost reasons buying used was the only thing that made sense. So I started crawling through the online gun auction sites looking for ideas. I ended up settling on a S&W model 915 which is the same size and approximate weight as the Taurus, shoots the 9mm like the SR9C but with a little more mass to eat recoil with, and has a good reputation as a reliable workhorse gun while being relatively inexpensive on the used market. It arrived Wednesday and I've been giving it the once over in cleaning and maintenance to verify it is functional. This weekend we will begin going to the range to acclimate her to it. If she likes it, great. If not she can have my Taurus and I'll carry the S&W. While I did the "choosing", it was based on feedback and discussions with her. Hopefully things will work out. If not, I guess we'll be gun shopping again real soon....

CHEVELLE427
July 22, 2011, 05:22 PM
my GF has gone through more guns then i care to pay for.:eek:;)

when she was in the navy she got to shoot a Beretta M9 but says they didn't get to shoot much at all, that shocked me somewhat i would have though shooting would have been a have too, but i guess an er nurse didn't have to as much ,,, i don't know. she has shot 10x more with me then the 8 years in the navy

she has settled on practice gun it is a HS SK100 & A browning nomad i had so i bought her a nomad just like it , now she says she has two, accurate and affordable quarter groups at 15-20yd standing (NO REST). we have had people say they cant get groups like that with there gun so she lets them shoot her's and after a mag they ask

WERE CAN I GET ONE OF THEM

she can spend all day shooting at 1 shoot - n - see target, think she has gone through 8k of my 22 stash , she will shoot the center out of 1 one inch squire and move to the next.

as for a larger gun it has come down to

a SW cs9 small enough to conceal and heavy enough to help with recoil.

and she has laid claim to MY xdsc9

she has shot my xd45 and xdsc40 but the 9 has it.


she also has very week wrest (medically) so light guns don't work well
(been through a lc9 , keltec 380, pf9, p11 , keltec 32, lcp, bersa 380, she did like a Walter p22 but the one we had sucked for accuracy, MY sw mod 10 38 is ok but she does not like a revolver much)

so you can see i have spent a lot to find a gun that fits her :eek:.
shot placement is key word for finding a gun for the wife/GF,;)


PS: she has laid claim to all my guns even though she cant shoot some.

we go to the rang she has 5-9 on her station and i have 2 :rolleyes:

Picher
August 2, 2011, 04:38 PM
Actually, there is a new CCI? round for .22 WMRs that will give respectable velocities out of short-barreled revolvers. The ideal situation for someone who doesn't want heavy recoil would be a convertible double-action revolver in both .22LR and .22WMR. It could be a 2.5" barrelled cutie with decent grips. I believe that Taurus and perhaps S&W are making such guns. Charter Arms said they were, but I never saw a real one.

Such a gun may get a woman shooting and enjoying it, then have pretty close to .32 stopping power with the Mags. A bullet that hits the right place is much better than a more adequate one that doesn't because a person is afraid to practice with it.

Jath
September 29, 2011, 10:05 PM
this is a very good post. I think all of us should take this advice. If I hadn't gotten my wife what she wanted, she likely would never have shot it. As it stands, she LOVES her Bersa Firestorm. She practically won't shoot anything else except to try it out. And she is deadly accurate with that thing too. Her first shot always hits. I say, who cares that it's a .380, so long as she has a gun that she's willing to shoot at all.

gloucestergarand
October 2, 2011, 04:38 PM
The wifey learned and practiced with a 6-inch Colt Trooper and a 6-inch King Cobra. She's a better shot that I! But when it came time for her to choose, she wanted something she was comfortable and confident with that she could use and not hesitate with....sorry previous poster, but her S&W stainless Ladysmith in .38 is her personal firearm of choice!

Actually, her favorite (on full auto to boot) was a .40cal H&K MP5 with our county SWAT team! That put one heck of a smile on her face!

1858remington
October 4, 2011, 02:15 AM
WOW!!! this thread really took off. Its great to see that it has helped so many.

petitelady
October 14, 2011, 06:16 PM
You guys have it figured out about letting the lady pick it out. I have bought for myself a Colt Python w/6" barrel and another .357, a S&W 640-1 Centenniel J-frame which is my favorite daily carry firearm. My CC instructor favored semi-autos and I didn't mind qualifying with a Glock 9mm. BUT, then I let myself be talked into (by my husband and other well-meaning friends and assorted relatives) buying a Bersa Thunder .380. I haven't been to the range with it yet. So I will go and give it a chance, but I don't think I'm going to like it; I don't feel confident racking the slide. I have had two semi-autos jam on me, one of them being the Glock I qualified with and yes, you really can jam a Glock. I think I have a talent for jamming semi-autos. I don't like "plastic" guns (I'm not saying they are bad; they just aren't right for me.) I think they recommended the .380 for me because I'm small, (5' 2" and 115 lbs.), female and have delicate looking hands and wrists. I still prefer the two .357's I picked out and bought for myself (previous to my marriage.) Maybe I will like the .380 enough to carry as a BUG in a gun purse. Or maybe I'll trade it in on something else I like better when I see it. All that being said, I really appreciate all you men who have had the good sense to let your lady pick out her own gun; she'll LOVE you for it! :)

3KillerBs
October 16, 2011, 09:33 AM
... So I will go and give it a chance, but I don't think I'm going to like it; I don't feel confident racking the slide. I have had two semi-autos jam on me, one of them being the Glock I qualified with and yes, you really can jam a Glock. I think I have a talent for jamming semi-autos. I don't like "plastic" guns (I'm not saying they are bad; they just aren't right for me.) I think they recommended the .380 for me because I'm small, (5' 2" and 115 lbs.), female and have delicate looking hands and wrists. ...

Are you familiar with www.corneredcat.com? She has some very helpful information about racking slides.

My hands are small, but not delicate -- more like a man's hand in miniature than a normal, woman's hand. I can rack the slide on anything I've ever picked up (BTW, little pocket semi-autos are notorious for having VERY stiff springs and being hard to rack). My problem is being unable to reach the assorted controls -- especially the slide lock. I once shot an entire target match with a borrowed Colt 1911 that had to be cleared safe by the range officer (it was his gun), every time the range went cold. :what:

If your jamming issue is limp-wristing you might be able to improve it by doing wrist exercises. Get some object of weight, I use a 4lb iron mallet, but a small dumbell would be even better. Here's a picture:

http://www.armexercisesthatwork.com/images/wrist-exercises.jpg

I do them in 3 positions, palm up, palm down, and palm to the inside. Do them with your forearm supported on the arm of a chair to make sure that its your wrist rather than your biceps doing the work.

All that said, if you don't like shooting semi-autos you have that right. I don't like shooting revolvers myself. They feel different and different people will prefer one or the other. :)

Germster
October 16, 2011, 06:31 PM
Soon after I met the women who became my wife (now hitched for 32 years) I took her camping. She likes to camp and sing songs around the campfire. Fun.

I brought along my Marlin 39A, that in those days sported a scope. She said that she had never fired a gun and had never been around any and didn't want to start now. No amount of cajoling could convince her to take a shot.

So I tossed out a coke can and commensed to bouce it along. She just watched. Finally I turned the Marlin over to her, gave her some ear muffs and told her that she HAD to take a shot. She did.

After a box or two of shells she returned the rifle. She held the gun perfectly and was a fantastic shot right out of the box. She still is, and we love walking along a country trail shooting our .22 rifles at pine cones, bits of wood, pebbles, etc... She was also an excellent shotgun shot the first time she tried it. A natural shooter. Also a wonderful cook! And she makes a mean martini!

ballistol
October 16, 2011, 10:27 PM
Thanks for the info. My long time girlfriend enjoys going to the range with me, but she doesn't like shotguns. She says she wants a gun, but I don't think she has the heart to shoot anyone. Do you have a suggestion for this?

Shadow 7D
October 16, 2011, 10:36 PM
have her volunteer at a rape crisis center

Alicia
October 17, 2011, 11:22 AM
You don't think she has the heart to shoot someone or she doesn't think she could do it? To me, those are 2 different things.

I was against having a gun in my home for many many years. I've even been through a few experiences that you'd think would have made me change my mind sooner - raped as a teenager, beat up by a customer. I was still against it. All for other's rights to bear arms, but not my choice and not in my house. A few years ago someone came on my property that creeped me out and the police even suggested I get a gun. I still said no - scared of it with kids in the house especially being someone never around the things. A few months ago someone tried to break in while I was home with one of the kids. I didn't even know it until I found the broken door, I still don't know what scared him off but that was finally the event that changed my mind. I got a camera that shows the side door and the driveway but I also got a gun, took a class and started going to the range every week. The whole momma bear thing kicked in and there is no doubt in my mind - I don't want to shoot anyone but I will if I have to.

First i bought a used .22 Taurus with a pop up barrel so i didnt even had a slide to deal with and practiced with that to get comfortable with a gun. In short time I upgraded to a slim .9mm. Cornered cat really helped me with the slide. When I first bought my 9mm I was distressed I bought something I found hard to shoot. The info on that site really helped and I'm completely comfortable with it now.

Germster
October 17, 2011, 01:18 PM
Thanks for the info. My long time girlfriend enjoys going to the range with me, but she doesn't like shotguns. She says she wants a gun, but I don't think she has the heart to shoot anyone. Do you have a suggestion for this?
If I met a women who wanted to kill someone I'd seek another. Women nurture, men fight. It is how we are wired.

Really, one has to be trained to kill a person, which is what we do in the infantry. We train people to kill other people with gusto. If a soldier kills a bunch of people we give him an medal. Today we are putting women in combat units. A big mistake IMO, and for lots of reasons.

We hope that your GF will never be in a situation were she has to consider killing someone. It's rare today. A good thing.

Shadow 7D
October 17, 2011, 04:34 PM
Put a woman between a danger and her children or loved ones and you find out just how dangerous that nurturer is.

The most dangerous situation you can get into (well one of them) is to be between a momma griz and her cubs.
The stupid macho 'I'm gonna blow you away' is stupid
PERIOD, doesn't matter what gender. Being able and willing to defend yourself is just that. That isn't violence it's a willingness to do what needs to be done, including violence if required. MUCH different mindset, either you can get it or you can't. No matter of talking can really change someones minds, I've seen the rambo freeze when SHTF and the quite church mouse just took over and did what was needed to be done. Who'd of thunk that?

3KillerBs
October 17, 2011, 09:17 PM
Thanks for the info. My long time girlfriend enjoys going to the range with me, but she doesn't like shotguns. She says she wants a gun, but I don't think she has the heart to shoot anyone. Do you have a suggestion for this?
www.corneredcat.com has a series of in-depth articles on mindset. I can't recommend it highly enough.

3KillerBs
October 17, 2011, 09:21 PM
Put a woman between a danger and her children or loved ones and you find out just how dangerous that nurturer is.
...

Kipling, I think, put it best.

...
Man, a bear in most relations — worm and savage otherwise, —
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger — Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue — to the scandal of The Sex!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same;
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
May not deal in doubt or pity — must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions — not in these her honour dwells—
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.
...


For the whole poem, in all its politically incorrect glory, http://www.corneredcat.com/The_Female_of_the_Species/

Rusty Luck
November 6, 2011, 11:05 PM
Very good advice.

Serenity
December 18, 2011, 07:58 PM
I have a Sig 226 and the Boy (16) has a S&W 67. Husband likes to come to the range every now and then and prefers the 67 (how can he not love my Sig???) but I want to get him one of his own. He shot a lot when he was a kid; his best friend's dad was a gun dealer of questionable repute. But it has been (eek) 25 years since then. I ask him, and he just wants parts for his '70 Mustang. :rolleyes:

On a more serious note:

First of all, there is nothing more nurturing than being protective.

Anyway, when I was looking for an auto (so I could pass the 38 special on to the kid) I was intimidated by all the levers and buttons on the pistols. I sucked it up and got ignored by many rude gun counter clerks and asked embarrassingly ignorant questions and held every 9 mm gun in three towns for months before I picked up my 226. It felt like coming home.

That's how a gun should feel to your wife/girlfriend, if you want her to go out to the range and shoot and improve and enjoy it. I don't carry but even if I did I would haul the sucker around in a tote bag. I can reach all of the controls with one hand, and the slide isn't too hard for me. I'm still struggling a little with where exactly to put one thumb, but that's a good excuse to get out to the range until I figure it out :)

I'm medium sized, medium aged, law abiding, moderately intelligent and a registered voter. I didn't hold a gun until I was 35. If I can pick out a gun, your wife or girlfriend can. She has probably absorbed WAY more information than she realizes from your babbling on the subject.

Nushif
December 18, 2011, 09:56 PM
I'm medium sized, medium aged, law abiding, moderately intelligent and a registered voter. I didn't hold a gun until I was 35. If I can pick out a gun, your wife or girlfriend can.

I'm afraid this notion is lost on a lot of people, tbh.

Blacklabel82
December 19, 2011, 11:17 AM
I see more and more women carrying. I think its great! My wife had a scare in a parking lot one night, shortly after she asked me to take her gun shopping. She got her carry permit and we picked her up a Keltec P32, a little Jimenez 22 (has been 100% reliable - otherwise I wouldn't let her carry it) and a Mossberg 500C for the bedside....she shoots regularly and bought what she felt comfortable and confident with. She is rather small and has smaller hands...so recoil wasn't as much of an issue and "fit". She couldn't keep ahold of some of the subcompact / pocket pistol 380's and 9's..but the 32 loaded with hydrashock is her perfect fit. Shes accdurate with it and has practiced alot.

I would never have attempted to buy her a gun...I felt that guns are the most effective for protection when the person carrying feels confident with their ability to accurately handle the "said" weapon...

Ghost Tracker
December 19, 2011, 12:10 PM
I WANTED to buy my wife a gun. I still DO! Because she decided she "really liked" my VERY OWN, PERSONAL G19 while she trained prior to getting her carry permit. I haven't carried that gun since. I'm not sure if I've even SEEN it!

Remember gents, that woman is likely your potential BACK-UP. Get her good training (that means from someone who isn't YOU). See that ALL her gear (gun, ammo, holster, etc., etc.) is AT LEAST as good as yours. Good enough & hand-me-downs will NOT DO!

If you've got hard-line, serious, no-flex opinions about the process of her being armed. You secretly tell those opinions to a gun-savvy 3rd party who is trusted by BOTH of you. Then let that 3rd party "filter" those opinions to your wife. Trust me ;)

Anyone who thinks the female human is less capable of taking a defensive stand has never seen a women who believes/recognizes their children are endangered. They make a Momma Grizzly seem kind & soft-hearted.

jdmudcat
December 19, 2011, 08:52 PM
For several years I tried to teach my wife how to use a 9mm. She just couldn't (or wouldn't) get comfortable using it.
About a year ago a friend loaned me an old Charter Arms Undercover 38. He just wanted me to clean it up and shoot a few through it. My wife picked it up and liked it. Well, we went behind the house and she began to shoot up all my 38 ammo. A few days later she was the proud owner of a Chick Lady ultra lite. (Pink Charter Arms .38)

She now shoots once or twice a week and is completely comfortable with her own little 5 shot revolver. I don't even go out to coach her any more. She has even picked her favorite load that groups the best. And by the way, at 15 to 20 yards she can shoot a pretty darn good group.

She now wants to learn how to operate and shoot my little automatic carry gun so she can get a CCL. (In Arkansas to qualify with revolver means you can only carry a revolver but qualify with auto you can carry either) So we have been doing some practice with a little 380 and she likes it. She even likes the 9mm now, go figure.

So I guess she just needed to pick up the right gun to get interested in it. I really haven't figured it out.

JD

Serenity
December 19, 2011, 09:30 PM
I can give you a little insight. A woman knows if she has a hard time picking up a new traditionally male skill it's going to be because she's a woman while if a man has the same problems it isn't blamed on his gender. It takes some guts for us to plunge into something that isn't traditionally our territory; knowing that we represent for all women. I'm glad I decided to follow through after our awesome NRA course but it's taking me a long time work up the courage to show up out at the range during the steel shoots. I'm a rank newbie but I feel like the fact that I'm a woman will be what people notice when suck (which I will, at first).

jdmudcat
December 19, 2011, 10:13 PM
I never really thought of it that way. That explains a lot. A frend of mine gives CCL classes and sometimes has ladies only classes. They are always full. I think its great that more women are learning to defend themselves.
I know that I feel a lot better leaving the house knowing that my wife can defend herself and our children if needed.

JD

hestes
January 17, 2012, 03:04 PM
I'm a woman, and feel like I should add my input here.

If a woman wants to get into shooting, she needs to shoot as many different firearms as possible to decide for herself which one fits her hand size, sight picture preferences, etc. You can't just go buy her one and expect it to work out perfectly. I've seen several men go and buy their girlfriends/wives guns only to end up frustrated because she didn't like it or enjoy shooting it. Let HER decide. She's (hopefully) a grown up and capable of making her own decisions. I hate to say it, but this mentality is one reason that some women are reluctant to get into shooting. So many of the guys "know it all" (seen that myself too) and treat the women as if they are not capable of making their own decisions about it.

If she's interested, encourage her interest in it. Do not, I repeat, do not say "You're doing it wrong"(sure fire way to make her lose interest). Find a better choice of words to correct issues. Then, let her pick the firearm that she wants.

That's my vent. Sorry for the long post. This is kind of a hot button for me...I've seen it happen over and over again. I've actually had women tell me that they enjoy shooting with me more than their Husbands/Boyfriends. I find that sad, but it all comes down to letting her make her own decisions, and not making her feel like you're being overly critical. I think the suggestion to let her take a class from someone else is a great one.

Okay, I'm done. haha

dallanta
February 4, 2012, 11:03 PM
I bought my wife one last weekend. She tried out a lot of them and decided she liked a Walther PK380. She is small and it fit her hand good. She surprised me with how accurate she is.

flatlander937
February 5, 2012, 07:27 PM
When my wife went shooting for the first time, she shot an XDM 9mm and she is really good with it... she just doesn't like the fact that it doesn't have any kind of manual thumb safety on it(like my 1911).

The second time we went together, I insisted she try renting an M&P 9mm or an FNP 9 or something else... something that she could potentially be comfortable with... but she is very headstrong and wanted only to use the XDM 9mm again.:rolleyes:

So we rented the XDM 9mm for her again, and the second time we went together I had my 1911 then, so I let her shoot a magazine through that... she was OK with it, but was just intimidated by the .45 recoil and was flinching badly.

Then she got pregnant, so her shooting will be on hiatus until the baby arrives(and probably a short while after that too)... she doesn't want me buying any guns for her... so I'm not going to.

BUT! I will buy a couple guns, one in .22 and another in 9mm that *I* like... and if she happens to enjoy one or both of them when she's shooting again, then she can have it... if not... gotta buy some more:evil:

kb58
February 5, 2012, 09:41 PM
I had my 1911 then, so I let her shoot a magazine through that... then she got pregnant....
So that's how that happens. Sorry, couldn't resist.

Seriously, my wife's from Vietnam and seen stuff only solders talk about - bad stuff. On the other hand she understands their purpose and I was very surprised when she said that we should "get something." I'm old enough to know not to blow it right from the start, so got her a Ruger Mk III, which she actually enjoyed. Unfortunately someone in the same pistol class had a .45 that she (the other student) was obviously afraid of - her BF/hubby was making his own mistake. She was flinching so badly it was a bit scary where the rounds were going. Anyhow, that sort of freaked out my wife, which is unfortunate because at some point, I'd like to work her up to the point where - if she has to - she can use my .45. It might be doable but it'll be tricky. Yes I know that I could get her something like a .38, but we need to work up to even that point. Have to give it time and to not push.

The point of this blathering is that you have to be very sensitive to your wife's reactions to guns of various calibers - don't just hand her your Desert Eagle... work up to it.

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