[Joe Demko]

Gunboards are a hotbed of material for those who are amused by ????waving. I have several particular favorites:

1. The fellow over at AR15.com who tbraggingly told the story, a couple years ago, about being muzzle swept by a newbie at a commercial range. He "instinctively" threw himself to the floor, drew his 1911 and put the front sight COM on her. What made the story even better is that she was a young mother there with her husband and a couple toddlers. Hubby was trying to teach her to shoot. The best part is that the guy who posted the story couldn't understand why he was being widely hailed as the world's biggest jackass.

2. Another fellow, I forget the board, who claimed to have been jumped by two muggers in the proverbial dark alley. His response was to kick both of them in the nuts, draw his Steyr GB from its shoulder holster, and hold them at gunpoint while he spat in both their faces and called them ???????. A classic.

3. All the gun guys everywhere who blather at great length that they'll die fighting to preserve the 2A (this almost always involves a .308 rifle) , but who can't be bothered to write their legislators or join the NRA. As they used to say back in old country "An empty can rattles the loudest."

Egad, I love the internet. It has given countless people the opportunity to make fools of themselves publicly who might otherwise have been denied the chance.

[ysr_racer]

Any legal, medical or dating advice I read on the Internet makes me laugh. I often respond with:

Legal advice you get from the internet is worth exactly what you paid for it, NOTHING.

But I'd have to say some of the funniest I've read is about arming pilots.

[Chipperman]

The Mall Ninja Files
Classic stuff. :p

[MikeB]

....is when they "Rack their Slide".

[Nightcrawler]

Machismo? (http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?s=&threadid=55861) What ever do you mean? :D

[BenW]

That was dang funny Nightcrawler! :) Don't know how I missed that thread when you first posted it.

For "real" macho stories, I have to vote for Mall Ninja <TM>. I never drive directly anywhere.....

[Ky Larry]

Mall Ninja, without a doubt. Especially the part about lying on top of his partner and taking hits from the BG's.:D

[Edward429451]

I know this is supposed to be a light hearted thread but realistically...

It's rather amazing to see people whop claim to believe in principle sacrifice every last vestige of it on an alter of obedience to the state.

I'll fight for my gun rights but I cooperate with the law they say...

A machismo of obedience and cooperation.:rolleyes: Cooperation is what got this country into the mess it's in right now.

[TheeBadOne]

I just love the skills posessed by everyone on the Internet.

There's no shortage of people who:

can hit a flea in the left eye at 600 yards...

have never, ever, under any circumstance, made an error...

can do your job better than you (even though they have no formal training/education/experiance)...

know more about the Glock pistol than Gaston Glock (who invented the Glock, even though some of the self-professed experts don't know that)

know more about the 1911 than JMB...

own nothing but "jewels" for firearms and everyone else has "junk"...

[Wildalaska]

I personally love how every time some miscreant gets arrested with a gun, the cries go up to arm ourselves and fight the imminent attacks of the jackbooted hordes (who are generally home eating dinner and watching football at the time)

WildlaughinAlaska

[Boats]

By far my favorites are the ones who go on about the "combat reliability" of their chosen pieces. This form of pissing match usually involves AK/AR fans or cruchentickers versus old slabsiders. The amusing part to me is that most of the "debaters" don't shoot near enough rounds to get a true MRBF count. Even among those who do, what is the difference in odds between a 1 in 6000 failure ratio and a 1 in 20,000 when the average gunfight lasts about three to six rounds?

A pistol or a rifle known to you to be well functioning, clean and of quality manufacture will, in all likelihood, burn through all of the ammo you happening to be carrying at any one time if the balloon goes up.

[El Tejon]

How can you leave out:

1. 9mm v. .45;

2. Iwannacoolgunvirus posts;

3. "I don't need to train, I'm plenty good enough" posts;

4. Gun Shoppe Commando posts;

5. And, of course, the Bears, more b.s. is written about bears and other imaginary creatures every month than could be contained in a dozen gun rags.

[BlkHawk73]

I missed a few of these in thier original form but just the brief descriptions gave me a good chuckle.

[mtnbkr]

My favorites are the "it's time to feed the hogs!!:fire: " or "it's time to dig up your guns, not bury them :cuss: " posts. As if the people making those statements are going to put their money where their mouth is.

Yeah yeah, I know the posts are probably made in the heat of the moment or as a figure of speech, but if I know the origins of those statements, don't you think others might as well?

Chris

[Sean Smith]

The "Mall Ninja" and ".454 Casull Glock" threads on GlockTalk.com should be in some kind of virtual shrine. :D

In general, I like how so many people can shoot smaller groups at 100 yards than my buddy who shot (and won) untold bullseye pistol matches ever did at 50. Wow, my friend must have really screwed up practicing for years on end and then buying that custom Bullseye Longslide gun made by Jim Clark Sr., when he could have grouped better at double the distance with a Ruger P90 and a year of goofing around shooting tin cans out behind the trailer park... :rolleyes:

[MountainPeak]

The most macho posturing I see, seems to come from the NRA haters. Many don't do a damn thing themselves, but seem compelled to attack the NRA everytime it's mentioned.

[JohnBT]

I can't decide. I mean there've been 695,765 posts on this board alone. ;)

John

[SnWnMe]

I find it amusing that folks who never shot anybody can recommend their pet JHP loads to noobs.

Like "I get good results with XXXXX"

[P95Carry]

To those with internet longevity and endurance ... I'll just say .....

''GunKid'' ..... and CAR 15, .22 conversion unit ..... and a can!! Include too maybe, stealth by night and ''foraging'' :D


I think several will be with me here!:p

[BenW]

This thread got me nostalgic and I had to search out the old Mall Ninja GlockTalk thread to read again. I forgot all about the special martial arts training where they throw in the free Ninja boots that let you walk up walls. That really is a classic :D

[mtnbkr]

Gunkid.

Good grief, I had forgotten about him. I have vague recollections of him talking about using a wheelbarrow as a bug out vehicle, a thread about living in his RV parked on your suburban street, and so on.

What a tool.

Chris

[Pappy John]

Shoot!!! I've never been over to Glocktalk. I thought the Mall Ninja was our own. Now I'm intrigued.....I probably won't be back for a week till I track this down.:D

[berto]

Gunkid/hardin.....I'll never forget the "assault wheelbarrow":rolleyes:

Lasty I saw him at FNhighpower proclaiming the superiority of the Star BM with 65gr bullets casted from melt down matchbox cars doing 1800fps with no recoil and fast follow ups.
I'm sold.:scrutiny:

[longtom4570]

I like the guys that are security guards and how many BG that they arrest, and how many that they chase away when they pull their gun:what:

[Abominable No-Man]

Yook, I remember him, too. From TFL days, there was a good one about how shot placement doesn't matter, or something like that. Don't know the assault wheelbarrow one.

Anyone know how many sites he's been kicked off of? Also, what's he calling himself now?

ANM

[George Hill]

Taking multiple .308 hits to the back while assembling your take down badguy-killer rifle.

[TheeBadOne]

That was the one. Anyone still have a link? :confused:

[P95Carry]

Also, what's he calling himself now? No-man .. take it from me .... they are too numerous to mention!

Think up a wierd nic .. and he's probably used it .... been banned so many times! He's probably had more email addresses than the entire membership of THR! :D :D

[Mike Irwin]

Any of the many, many claims that if you carry a revolver for defensive purposes, the only thing you'll be able to do is die in a pool of your own blood and urine because revolvers are so horribly obsolete...

[Mike Irwin]

ysr_racer

"Legal advice you get from the internet is worth exactly what you paid for it, NOTHING."


You're right, advising someone to consult an attorney who specializes in a particular field of the law pertaining to their particular problem is worthless advice... :D

[Cortland]

If these Mall Ninja references leave anyone as confused as I am, I've managed to track down the original posting:

http://www.geocities.com/suketh.geo/gun/mall_ninja.html

[TheeBadOne]

Cortland thanks! That was the one!!! :D

hello friends,
Last year I made the decision to trust
my life on the street to Second Chance body
armor. I got the level IIa because it stops
the most rounds. plus I got the Trauma Plate
for the front.

What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in back. As of late I have taken to duct-taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.

Here is the questions. The ducttape "solution, although tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go
to the single-plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .308 ammunition. I have a high-risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long-distance shots to my back.

Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?

BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18" bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and "catch the rounds" while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up.

[FireInTheHole]

Yeah, the mall ninja threads are pretty good.
Check out mallninja.com sometime.

Anyhow, I think for fictional macho stories Nightcrawlers is one of the best I've read... it ranks up there with Mack Bolan and The Deathlands(post-nuke america etc) series that I read years ago in highschool. Yes I freely admit it! Infact I still recall that my favorite character in Deathlands was "The Armorer" a TRUE gun nut.:D:D

I wouldnt touch the books now, but they really served to spark my interest in firearms...

Many SHTF posts bring out good material. Gotta love SHTF threads. :)

[Balog]

I couldn't find any posts by "GunKid" on TFL or THR. But I found this by "Hardin"
Unless the guy is more than 10 ft away, and has no gun, you are going to be LUCKY, to get more than 50% hits on his chest,, and many of those chest hits may well be without immediate effect, if shock doesnt become an issue, because he can continue to operate just FINE for over 5 secs with his heart blown apart. Enough have done so after 12 ga hits for us to know this. One lung being hit means nothing, until he drowns in his own blood, which could take MINUTES. liver or spleen hit, or blood vessel hit can take MANY seconds to bleed him out, while he is shooting or stabbing you at the rate of 4x per sec. So GOOD hits mostlycome from LOTS of shots being fired, by skilled shottists, using low recoil loads, easily controled guns. Trouble, is, sometimes even good hits dont stop the guy. If you can hit the 4" heart, you can also hit the 4" brain, so why not go with what is a LOT more likely to have the instant result needed (if you TRULY think that you can hit the heart, that is.)

[P95Carry]

Balog .... hehe! yep - you got it buddy .. no mistake. :rolleyes: :D Oh and sometimes not just arrogant and egotistic but, if wound up a bit by someone ... downright abusive! Wonder why people wind him up?? Could be just thru his repetition. :p

The ''classic'' single long paragraph ....... abreviations and caps. I have challenged him many a time as to how all his experience of ''bleeding out'' and apparent general appraisal knowledge of bullet impact sequele .... but never to this day have been told it was from experience .. guess he just reads a lot!:p

Or is it ... ''Walter Mitty'' fertile imagination ..... :)

Tell ya what .. if I had a Dollar for every word he's spewed on forums thoughout cyberspace . I would be a Multi BILLIONAIRE ... I kid you not (no pun intended):)

[Balog]

It seems he gained most of his "experience" by shooting small animals. If you believe him that is.

[geekWithA.45]

The immortal riposte to the original mall ninja post:



If plan A is for you to take multiple rounds of .308 in your back, I would come up with a plan B.

Good luck.

[Bruce H]

Mack Bolan was all fake?
Can't take multiple .308 hits and still function?

Thanks loads everybody for ruining this year so early in it's infancy.
BTW cobwebs make excellent body armor. Stop .50 BMG with just a little tingle.

[Sarge]

and a host of other general cyber-dumbness...

http://www.winternet.com/~mikelr/flame1.html

[Joe Demko]

Re: GunKid

I knew John (his real name) at several boards and used to correspond with him by email from time to time. I consider him one of the most entertaining people on the web. To "get" his posts, which are almost all tongue-in-cheek, you have to understand that he finds nothing as entertaining as infuriating the subset of the gunboard population that is obsessed with M-14's and 1911's to the point where they think anybody who owns anything else has junk. To a microscopically smaller extent, he enjoys infuriating bolt-action afficianados who picture themselves as post-SHTF snipers.
Because he is such an effective gadfly, much of what he has simply said it might be possible for someone to do has been attributed as somethig he said he would do.
The famous "assault wheelbarrow" thread, unfortunately lost in one of Hard Core Talk's many crashes also falls into that category. What GunKid actually said at the time IIRC was something along the lines of, in a SHTF situation, he could mount a piece of thick sheet steel on a wheelbarrow and use it as mobile cover to approach someone in a pillbox type of fortification. It was, as much of his posts were, just something tossed off as an idle speculation. It sounds silly, but so does the idea of moving military materiel on old bicycles, until you remember that a certain group of Southeast Asians did just that. The usual crowd at HCT, many of were little more than blowhards, took it and ran with it far past more than GunKid ever said he would do.

[Highland Ranger]

And I'm laughing so hard I'm crying . . . . . great material!

[Justin]

My favorite bit of gunboard macho posturing?

The guys who blather on at length about their plans for after all of Western Society bans guns, and how they plan to be all Mr. Snipermilitiaguy, but won't ever open up a copy of Microsoft Word and write a letter or three to a congressthing. And forget about actually picking up the phone!

[Skunkabilly]

I like all the 'buy-American' patriotic chest thumping when it comes to Eagle vs Blackhawk, esp when you come across it on an HK or Beretta forum :D

[Nightcrawler]

I think people are especially sore about Blackhawk since their factory is in Vietnam.

My biggest beef with Blackhawk (http://www.blackhawkindustries.com) is that their ad department is sesemingly run by a 13 year old Counter-Strike (http://www.counter-strike.net/) players that seem to also be fans of John Woo Movies (http://www.hardboiled.de/).

Don't know what I mean?

Observe (http://www.blackhawkindustries.com/product_catalog.asp?cat_id=45&d=). They're not just gloves. Oh no, they're HELLSTORM TACTICAL GLOVES! Everything in the Blackhawk catalog has names like HELL-this or STRIKE that, or something-STORM.

I think this sums it up nicely.
http://www.blackhawkindustries.com/images/team.jpg

PLOOIE! BOOM! WHOOSH! Who'd have thought that there'd be so many plumes of flame in the typical day of your average Elite Most Tactical Operator? (This pic is especially funny since it looks like the guy ate too much chili...)

Anyway, I like the guys on these boards that get all huffy if you don't like exactly what they like. If Glocks or 1911s aren't best, then you're just WRONG, 'cause ELITE SHOOTERS choose Glocks and 1911s.

Or if you don't like the AR-15 for whatever, you're a bigot of some sort who's living off of internet rumor based on stories from Vietnam. (I think it's a pain in the rear to clean and I don't really dig .223 rifles.)

Or sometimes legal and political type threads turn into a big match, with each poster trying to be MORE libertarian than the previous; by the end you have the diciples of Ayn Rand getting all indignant at those that disagree ('cause then you're a statist/facist/communist/UN-lover, you see).

I also like how sometimes people think their gun of choice is double-plus-good-better because it looks similar to something our military or SOCOM types use.

I find it amusing when someone said "If Glocks are good enough for the majority of police, aren't they good enough for us?"

I chuckle when someone calls someone else a fool for not carrying a tactical-enough gun (usually your die-hard-tactical-auto-guy blasting a guy that packs a sixgun).

I especially have to laugh whenever that guy Nightcrawler starts typing. I think he's a full-of-himself jerk! :uhoh: LOL :D

[tatters]

That Nightcrawler thing was a hoot!!! I missed it on the first post.

[Mike Irwin]

"you have to understand that he finds nothing as entertaining as infuriating the subset of the gunboard population that is obsessed with M-14's and 1911's..."

Ah. He's a TROLL with a capital T.

Somehow we knew that.

He pissed me off and I don't even have an M-14, nor am I obsessed with my 1911...

[tailgunner]

There I was, 40 thousand feet, no parachute, a naked blonde under each arm and no rounds left for my trusty combat masterpiece. I whipped out my mc-1a issue switchblade and managed to stab myself to death before I hit the ground and was killed.

[wardog]

Just read the "Mall Ninja" posts. Classic. ROTFLMAO. I came onto the gun boards a little late, and thought that it was just a generic term that was made up. Never realized there was such a great story behind it.

Thank you!

[444]

To me, the mall ninja thread wasn't funny because of the guy that posted it, it was the responses.
The thing about the choo choo train had me laughing out loud the next day at work when I thought about it. Luckily my partner is as big a simpleton as I am; I told him as much of the story as I could remember and he died laughing and even brings it up now and then; having never been on an internet gun forum in his life.

I can't classify that as macho however because I am sure that he, along with most of these other people are just pulling people's chains. And, it usually works. They get a laugh in writing it, and get a laugh when people tip over about it.

[Joe Demko]

He pissed me off and I don't even have an M-14, nor am I obsessed with my 1911...

And?

[thefitzvh]

HA! You people are so busy talking about the mall ninja, that you DON"T REALIZE that the S did HTF.

SO! WHAT DID I DO!

I TOOK OVER. HA! You all didn't know.

I assaulted the whitehouse with some mac n' cheez and mikes hard lemonade bottles, and I took office. Socks swore me in. (Clinton left office, and socks was kept around as guard cat, didn't you hear?)


Meet your new president. AKs for all.


"Hail to the chief, cuz the chief, he needs some hailin."

James (I need to sleep.)

[Smoke]

I always enjoy the "boycott folks"

ie: I never buy Levis because they are anti gun, or I won't buy anything made in Chinese sweatshops, etc.

If I were to boycott everything anti-gun, anti-american, anti-whatever, I would have no guns or ammo, be homeless, naked, and hungry, and have no car or fuel.

I beleive in buying american and supporting gun friendly companys where possible. But I am a Capitalist first.

Smoke - the sellout.

[Mike Irwin]

"And?"

I'm not missing him one bit...

[Mike Irwin]

"There I was, 40 thousand feet, no parachute, a naked blonde under each arm and no rounds left for my trusty combat masterpiece. I whipped out my mc-1a issue switchblade and managed to stab myself to death before I hit the ground and was killed."

Geez, talk about poor situational awareness!

2 blonds equals 4 silicon shock absorbers that you can use to break your fall!

[Bruce H]

Why am I not surprised that Golgo-13 knows Gunkid personally.

[Moparmike]

I told him as much of the story as I could remember and he died laughing and even brings it up now and then; having never been on an internet gun forum in his life.Were you charged with anything? How did he miraculously come back to life?:confused: :D :D



Most of mine is the "If 'X' is banned, I will bury or dig up my rifle and start shooting..." or something like that. If one guy does it, he is a psycho. If 10,000 do it, it starts to become a revolution. Or a cause for martial law. Either way, the S will or has HTF, and will roll down hill.

[Raistlin]

2 blonds equals 4 silicon shock absorbers that you can use to break your fall!

Jeez, Mike - I almost spewed vegetable soup onto my laptop with that one!
:D :D :D

[TonyB]

Please tell me the Mall Ninja is satire.......otherwise I'm afraid...very afraid.....(putting on my tin foil hat now):uhoh:

[Atticus]

I'm not sure who impresses me more....the ninja/spec-operators.. or the everything experts who spend hours on-line each day seeking intellectual validation from anonymous 16 year olds (who are spending their valuable youth surfing the web, while dressed in tactical jammies and stressing about freedom...or playing kill-em video games). As much as I enjoy being on-line, there comes a time when the ridiculous content reminds me turn off the puter and enjoy real life. Maybe that's why Bill Gates makes us click on "Start" and not "Esc" to shut er down.


BTW - Great piece Nightcrawler - I am glad I saw that one.:D

[bill2]

PLOOIE! BOOM! WHOOSH! Who'd have thought that there'd be so many plumes of flame in the typical day of your average Elite Most Tactical Operator? (This pic is especially funny since it looks like the guy ate too much chili...)
_____________________________________

Good thing I had already finished lunch by the time I read your remark on the chili thing. I about died laughing!

[Ryder]

I stumbled across a message board once where Gunkid had been given a whole forum all his own. Seems they couldn't keep him banned and caved in to keep him from ruining the rest of the forums. Don't have a link but it's probably still out there somewhere.

Stupid people don't make me mad but I can see the logic in banning him since some of what he advocates is dangerous to other idiots.

[P95Carry]

I have for years been intrigued as to what makes GK ''tick''. He is obviously an accomplished typist judging by the volumes of spam he churns out - mostly very repetitive over time, and yeah - sometimes ''advice'' is hardly safe and even borderline legal!

''u should use the assault wheelbarrow stup. just carry CAR and can and .22 conversion kit. bolt guns are just - clunkers''.!

Oh near forgot - don't forget the Jerry Mikulic split times or faster!! :D

[DRZinn]

There I was, 40 thousand feet, no parachute, a naked blonde under each arm and no rounds left for my trusty combat masterpiece.
I would just try my hardest to die of a HEART ATTACK before hitting the ground. :D

[bogie]

I personally love reading about folks who've got rifles that'll shoot a quarter MOA All Day Long. If they're that good, why ain't they at the supershoot?

[13A]

He posts on this site:

http://www.armslocker.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=650

He used to post as "andy" and ".223 fan" until people shamed him by pointing out he was talking to himself for the most part. He posts as "andy" now.

Enjoy the hilarity.

[P95Carry]

13A ... sorry, had to grab a quote from the ''maestro'' over there ... seems like the style hasn't changed too much - and he is not making his audience too happy - so what's new! LOL.
.45-70, 400 gr pos is a pathetic .230 BC

STARTED at an even MORE pathetic 1500 fps, it's got less of a chance of hitting anything at 600 yds than does the 10" 223. At least, the 10" 223 can start a .300 BC bullet at 2450 fps. the .45-70 drifts in the wind like a balloon. :-) Anyhitting it does on a man torso beyond 300m requires IDEAL conditions, and LUCK.
Does word ''dogmatic'' come to mind!? :D Or is it ''opinionated'' ... both I guess.

[RevDisk]

I really love the posts where people advocate killing all liberals / Democrats / drug dealers / whatever religious group of the week then whine when some liberal says some equally stupid, while failing to see the irony.

People that have never been to Europe going on and on about how horrible Europe is.

The people that think the blue helmets will be kicking in their door any day now. Ditto the people that describe in great detail what they will do if the US tries to confiscate their guns.

[Lonestar.45]

I'm personally amused at the SHTF or TEOTWAWKI posts, and the guys that are planning to carry 4 long guns, 3 handguns, a shotgun, and a "bug out" bag that, judging from the description, has to weigh in close to 500 lbs.

Funny thing is, I used to know a couple of guys like that in real life, and God knows how many weapons and caches they have buried.

[DigMe]

Your favorite bits of gunboard macho posturing?

Look no further:

http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=114977

brad cook

[fistful]

Tailgunner,

Brevity is the soul of wit. Every bit as funny as Nightcrawler's post in two sentences. Bravo, sir!

[Tom Servo]

There's no shortage of people who:

can hit a flea in the left eye at 600 yards...
What? You're just jealous of those of us who can! With pepper-spray in one eye, and an angry pitbull chewing at my ankle! Yep! And that was just my first day of training for Tactical Urban Response Deployment (T.U.R.D.)

I'll tell ya, working as a Mall Santa can be hell. Of course, the whole time, I was just a lookout for Gecko_45, who as we all know, is the REAL DEAL. You may not take him seriously, but I've worked with him. The man is Da Bomb (is that right?)! He showed me the inner secrets of Shopping-Quadrant Ninjitsu, and I even got some of those neat spikes for my Santa boots. Of course, since I'm only 160 lbs, I was able to conceal a Mosin, a 10-gauge, several flash-grenades and quite a few spare mags under those red duds. You never know, one of those little tykes could be carrying a bomb. Good thing I had Gecko's body-armor, even if that duct-tape hurt coming off...

One time, there were some kids hanging out in front of the L.L. Bean. They were obviously plotting something, and Gecko sprang into "pre-emptive action," killing four of them with his bare hands before moving up to the REAL ordinance. I laid down covering-fire with my "crappy German" MP5, taking out some Chechen rebels disguised as elderly mall-walkers in the process.

Stupid jury says I'm not competent to stand trial. Still, it's nice to know that our suburban shopping-centers are protected by folks who live this creed:

"If you want to laugh at somebody, try laughing at the sheep out there who go to the mall unarmed trusting in me to stand guiard over their lives like a God."

Just kidding, by the way. Thing is, I'm Very Not Bad on the food-chain of shooters. I'm proud of what I can do, but there's usually somebody around who's better. I'm certainly not competition material at this point, and I'm lucky if I can see a TRUCK at 100 yards, much less bullseye something with a HANDGUN at that range :uhoh:

[rock jock]

Most folks who are in Condition Orange only got that way because they didn't wipe their face after eating Cheetos.

[XavierBreath]

Gunkid Classics from the last forum he was banned from that I know of:

there are plenty of us out there that can pull the trigger faster than the gun can cycle. it's not that hard to do really. just enter an IPSC competition and get stressed out and pull the trigger too fast and then get all mentally jammed up.

I once put 24,000 rds of .45 thru a MkIV, Series 70, in 6 weeks. Same 3000 rds of brass (already 3x fired) Never cleaned the brass. Used a Star progressive, cast swc's (Tamarack 50-50 Alox and beeswax lube) and Bullseye powder. Used nothing but WD40 as a lube. Cleaned the gun 8x, and 2 of those times, would not have done so, but students wanted to be shown how to do same. Zero malfunctions blamable on the gun.

ANYONE can shoot some housecats, and see that I am correct about the 9mm. It's a joke, just like the .45 is, on animals no bigger or tougher than a housecat is. Bill Jordan, Skeeter Skelton, Charles Askins, and Elmer Keith are all on record as saying .45 ball ammo sucks as a manstoper.

I've had many a housecat, coon, chuck and jackrabbit run off with .45 ball thru their chests, much less coyote-sized feral dogs. THEY mostly run off with factory jhp .45 loads thru their chests. That's why I began my search for far more effective ammo, and why I had to fabricate my own bullets,work up my own MachII plus loads, etc. The factories just dont CARE if you get killed, because their offerings are not-effective. You can't sue them over such lack of effectiveness.

I'm a mortician that shoots dead HUMAN bodies before I embalm them. I KNOW what a said bullet can do. I've shot them all and the .22 is the most lethal round out there. ALL the people I shot were DEAD DEAD DEAD.

Very early on, I noted how inefficient the shotgun is, and I haven't OWNED one for 25years now. Ditto the revolvers, or any non auto, really. The BAR, in alloy frame and 308 (cheap practice ammo) is my idea of a big game rifle. Small stuff is for the pistol (unless survival-shooting. ) Then it's for the .22 unit in a 223 AR 15. The latter is by far the most versatile longarm that you can own. It will group 1 MOA,even in the lw versions, and that's plenty of accuracy for varmint hunting.


nothing about what I said is anything but PROVABLE fact. let's SEE you post some FACTS contradicting a THING that I've said. You can't, no one ever has, and I 've been at this religiously, for many years now, thousands of hours per year, on the gun-forums.

[JPM70535]

Thanks for posting the "Mall Ninja" I too thought it was just a generic description of folks we all know and love

My only question is, Was he telling the stories tongue in cheek, or just a fugitive from the rubber room at the local funny farm. I had to clean tbe Coke spray off my screen more than once and I fear the keyboard is toast.

Just great, atrue classic.

JPM

[c_yeager]

Since AR15.com was mentioned I have to say that it really bugs me when the "seasoned" members tell someone that their rifle will get them killed or won't be any good in a fight because you don't have the RIGHT (at that exact moment) BUIS, Optic, forearm etc. it seems that actually putting bullets in the place where you want them is WAY down the list after equipment to a lot of these guys.

Its amusing to sit there and watch as the newest fads emerge over one piece of high-speed gear after another. Invariably the catalyst for this change is a dubious picture of some miscelanious had looking "operator" appearing in a desert environment (or maybe Arizona) with the piece of equipment mounted to their rifle. Personally I have the utmost respect for soldiers but, I have known enough of them personally to know that wearing the uniform DOES NOT necessarily make that person an authority on weapons. (too many "tumbling .223" and "knocked off their feet .45ACP" stories).

[Chuck Jennings]

One of the best bits of posturing is the old "If you think xx caliber is so wimpy I challenge you to a duel. I get to shoot first!" :rolleyes:

[dustind]

People who have nothing better to do than make fun of other people's life stories because they are not A rate action movie material.

Chuck Jennings: If the first shot is good enough to win then it must not be too wimpy.

[GreenFurniture]

Mall Ninja! HA! It's satire. And, if you want to meet him, he works for me at CCA.

[Tamara]

Heh.

Now that you've leaked that tidbit to the world, you might want to duct-tape on a trauma plate or two before going in today. :D

I know I will... :uhoh:

[GreenFurniture]

No need for a trauma plate. I'm going to fast rope in today.

[Browns Fan]

Quote:
"Jeez, Mike - I almost spewed vegetable soup onto my laptop with that one!"

Laptop? Raistlin, dont you know? Use enough computer!! :p

[Wedge]

Anytime anyone says "All day long."

[DigMe]

I'm a mortician that shoots dead HUMAN bodies before I embalm them. I KNOW what a said bullet can do. I've shot them all and the .22 is the most lethal round out there. ALL the people I shot were DEAD DEAD DEAD.

Hahaha!!

brad cook

[why_me]

Mega funny
i found thered web site
http://www.mallninja.com/

[Darkmind]

http://www.mallninja.com/images/mallnin28.gif



http://www.mallninja.com/images/johnathanfanart_small.jpg








I needed a good laugh!

[Logan5]

My favorites seem to go along the lines of "Because I once killed fourteen rabid grizzly bears inside an Iraqi T-72 with nothing but a grapefruit spoon and a rubber hammock at midnight on the devil's birthday in Cambodia, while high on mushrooms, I think I'm really the only one we need to listen to here. In my humble opinion, the best gear setup for {NRA smallbore/sporting clays/needlepoint/diaper changing} is a bucket with eyeholes, a whiffle bat, and some embroidery floss for garroting, with the Czech Skorpion machine pistol coming in a close second. If you really want to talk about it, come back when you've killed an eaten a mime, because until then, you just don't know!"

[Devonai]

People who quote themselves in their sigs, people who list their firearms in their sigs, or people who try and sell books in their sigs.

[Tom Servo]

(...)people who list their firearms in their sigs
Uh-oh! Guess that makes me one of the "l33t" types! :)

GreenFurniture, you actually KNOW Gecko_45?!? Tell him to post here, it'd be a blast! I'd love to hear some recent anecdotes and nuggets of wisdom from one of America's TRUE heroes :p

[Azrael256]

come back when you've killed an eaten a mime Whew, that line got me in trouble. The bossman finally figured out that I'm surfing this board when I burst into laughter.

[ralphie98]

I always get a kick out of the "Caliber wars". Nobody wins, nobody loses and the threads and flames never die.

I also cannot get enough of the SHTF guys who have 15 guns loaded and stashed throughout their homes, sleep with a 12 ga in bed with them and a glock under the pillow. It's one thing to be prepared and another to be maniacally paranoid.

[ALS]

Wasn't there some rich guy from Mass. that was bragging about hunting Bambi by crawling on his belly with a Double Barrel Shotgun. :eek:

[DRZinn]

And he hunted ducks, too, in a brand-new spankin' clean Gore-tex ultra-tactical coat!

[DigMe]

Just thought of one that I had totally forgotten about. I don't hang out much at packing.org anymore but the forums there are often good for a laugh. I posted a thread about one (http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=70586) earlier this year.

Here's what one guy had to say in response to a fellow asking what ammo he should carry as an armored truck guard. The best part is when he recommends a Thompson .410 as a sidearm :D :

About the most frequently-used 9mm round in the LEO community is the Federal 124 gr. HydroShock +P+. This round will get through a barrier (unlike pre-fragmented and frangible slugs)but won't "over-penetrate" and do a through-and-through very often. It produces a very serviceable combination of penetration and wound cavity. As far as putting a BG on the ground, one 9mm round isn't likely to do it unless you either get a kill or break a leg with that first shot. The max kinetic energy a 9mm round is going to be carrying at impact is about 500 foot-pounds. It takes close to 1000 to put a man on the ground from sheer blunt-force. If you have to have a first-shot knock-down, go with a Thompson Center Contender with a .410 shotgun barrel. It only shoots once before reloading, but a hit is going to get you a knock-down. With the 9mm (in the words of my CCW trainer), "If it's worth shooting once it's worth shooting twice and you keep shooting until the threat stops." Regarding practice ammo, the previous posts are right - Winchester White-box 100 round value pack's are the way to go. I've put 900 rounds of it through my CZ 75 PCR without a single FTF, FTE, or "squib" round. This stuff also seems to burn cleaner than a lot of other "cheap" ammo.

[444]

Most of the posts on any one of the thousand threads on here about shooting dogs.

[Ironbarr]

tailgunner - You are lucky, son. You got out just before the automatic pilot jumped out with the last parachute in the plane.

BTW - how was your landing? Soft? :)


Ryder - I did a Google on Gunkid - there are over five pages of hits... you might want to check that out - he might be one (or more) of them. Across time I've seen a lot of TFL/THR thread posts indexed in Google.

-Andy

[fistful]

Logan5,

That was marvelous. A bucket with eye-holes? Were you high on mushrooms when you wrote that? In any case - just beautiful.

[olyAR73]

"....looters be warned"
If your gonna shoot em, why warn em on the net?

[fistful]

If your gonna shoot em, why warn em on the net? uh...maybe to avoid the situation altogether? But are we expecting High Roaders to loot our homes anyway? What are the chances?

Anyway, I'm tougher than all of you guys and I shoot bigger guns with perfect accuracy. Usually, in a fight, though, I just disassemble the enemy with my bare hands. 'Cause I'm so bad I scare myself!

[absolute0]

I've heard references to the mall ninja thread many times...never actually bothered to track it down and read the original thread from glock talk until today.

Dang near peed my pants laughing.....OH LORDY!!!

[Mike Hull]

why_me Mega funnyhttp://www.mallninja.com


LOL!
Here's another one. I assume, or anyway, hope it's a spoof, but the tune is catchy. ;)
http://www.realultimatepower.net/index3.htm

[Master Blaster]

My favorite is the discussion of what gun to wear in the shower.

Next would be the one where folks lament the fact that Nixon took us off the gold standard, and the US Economy has been going down hill ever since.
Folks who start that discussion always claim to expert economists, and further claim that if we went back on the gold standard it would fix all our woes and return us to the position of world leadership we once enjoyed.

But one of the best was that thread 12 pages long on Glock Talk, where some Lawyer from Texas and his friend brag about how he choked the crap out of a vendor at a gunshow. Then every one chimes in and congradulates him for how smart and macho he was to do it. :eek:

[Old Dog]

But one of the best was that thread 12 pages long on Glock Talk, where some Lawyer from Texas and his friend brag about how he choked the crap out of a vendor at a gunshow. Then every one chimes in and congradulates him for how smart and macho he was to do it

I saw that thread on AR-15.com (I'm NOT a member there) ... and that is part of the mentality there, along with the huge doses of gutter language, which is just another reason why THR is such a nice, civil forum and so much more interesting ...

[olyAR73]

But are we expecting High Roaders to loot our homes anyway? What are the chances?

My point, exactly.

[Doc]

OK, my side hurts and i think i am going to throw up all
those cookies i was eating while reading!

i was at gun school a couple years ago trying to learn to shoot pistols better.
during one of the breaks two fellow students asked the instructors about
a technique they learned at another school, seemingly to engage them in a discussion
about tactics. it seems these two students (an accountant
and computer programer if memory serves) had done well in the dot.com
boom; after quitting their jobs they went about the country taking classes
at gun schools --enviable no doubt.
well, they had just completed a "EP" class elsewhere and during this state-of-the-art "EP" course
they had been taught to 'push the principle toward cover'
and then engage the BGs bent fully over at the waist
(imagine trying to touch your toes with your feet more than shoulder width apart)
shooting at the BG's with head and pistol inverted, between their legs.
the instructors could barely contain themselves.
after the ensuing moment of enlightment i couldn't help but ask what "EP" meant.
i was told disdainfully, "Executive Protection"
i couldn't keep my mouth shut, i tried, REALLY, i tried!
i said, 'oh, well if your are the protective detail, you are expendable.
shoot any way you want.'

[UnintendedConsequences]

I think there are plenty of the mouthy ones with little real experience in all walks of life. However, the ones that really upset me are those who insult what I use just because it isn't like theirs.

If it does the job, why argue about it?

[PATH]

I'd have to say that The Mall Ninja along with the Gunkid Armored Wheelbarrow assault vehicle were amongst the most humorous stories I have read on the net.

I had forgotten about Gunkid after all this time. He was over on HCT at the time.
It really is too bad the thread with Gunkid was lost. It was funny as all get out! :D

I believe he may be one of the "Jesters" that used to frequent many gunsites! :what: :D

[HEiST]

But one of the best was that thread 12 pages long on Glock Talk, where some Lawyer from Texas and his friend brag about how he choked the crap out of a vendor at a gunshow. Then every one chimes in and congradulates him for how smart and macho he was to do it

I saw that thread on AR-15.com (I'm NOT a member there) ... and that is part of the mentality there, along with the huge doses of gutter language, which is just another reason why THR is such a nice, civil forum and so much more interesting ...



I didn't see huge doses of gutter talk- I don't mind an fword here and an sword there and a mofo here and a bastich there. Then again, some people are just wimps. :p

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=remedial+reading+comprehension+classes

Maybe you didn't really get a good look at that thread.:

After the Glock guy with the cigar handed the M&A goatee guy his credit card, the M&A guy screwed around for awhile and told the Glock guy that it wouldn't read his card. Why he didn't just punch the numbers in manually, I'll never know. That's not hard to do. The Glock guy had this annoyed look on his face and the M&A guy with the goatee told him "ITS NOT MY FAULT IT WON'T READ YOUR CARD!"

The Glock guy took his card back and asked the M&A Goatee guy if they took checks. The M&A guy responded in that same condescending tone of voice that they didn't. The Glock guy told him fine, he could keep his merchandise then and started to walk away. At no time did the glock guy get rude or say anything that was out of line to the M&A parts guy.

This is where it started to go bad. The M&A guy made a comment to the Glock guy about his attitude (which I had not seen a bad attitude from the Glock guy yet).

The glock guy stopped walking away and told the M&A goatee guy that he was the one with the crappy attitude and proceeded to detail each instance of his bad attitude and poor customer service from start to finish.

The M&A Goatee guy told the glock guy with the cigar that he could take his bad attitude somewhere else (which I thought the glock guy was trying to do) and then the Glock guy told him "**** You" and turned and walked down the aisle toward Lone Star Gun safe's booth.

The M&A goatee guy started yelling "SIR" SIR" "SIR" "SIR" "SIR" after the Glock guy like a little girl whose feelings were hurt and then ran out into the aisle after his former customer.

This is where I decided that the M&A guy with the goatee was proving that not only was he stupid, but that he was trying to become a candidate for the Darwinism award.

The M&A Goatee guy grabbed the glock guy's shoulder (1st mistake), spun him around, put his face into the Glock guys face & yelled "???? YOU" in his face. there faces where inches apart. I think the M&A guy actually stuck his eye onto the end of the Glock guy's cigar. Luckily for the M&A Goatee guy the Glock guy was only chewing the cigar and it wasn't lit.

The M&A Goatee guy then proceeded to try to swat the Glock guy’s cigar out of his mouth. He hit the cigar.

The Glock guy grabbed the M&AQ guy's collar and pushed him back. The M&A Goatee guy made a grab for the Glock guy's collar at which time the Glock guy finished the fight:

The Glock guy grabbed the M&A guy by the THROAT & squeezed. It looked like he squeezed it real hard. The M&A guy suddenly stopped running his mouth and talking smack tothe Glock guy with the cigar!

I thought to myself, the Glock guy with the cigar just went Darth Vader on M&A guy: fingers around the adams apple, squeezed hard enough for the M&A Goatee boy's eyes to pop out (looked like one of those dolls that have the pop out eyes that pop out when you squeeze them. Looked him in the eyes and told him in a very loud voice that he was going to kill him right there and squeezed his throat even harder.

It was amazing. It looked like Darth Vader had come to Houston. The M&A Guy's face was turning red, eyes popping out and the Glock guy was just standing there, fingers inserted into the guy's adams apple and wind pipe, chewing on his cigar, holding his bag of stuff with the most chilling look I have ever seen on a guys face. I thought the Glock guy wasn't going to let go of the M&A Guy's throat until he was dead.

Some other people intervened and the Glock guy let the M&A goatee guy go and started to walk off. The M&A guy apparently wanted to be embarrassed some more and decided that having his throat almost ripped out once that day wasn't enough and followed after the Glock guy a second time. I thought the glock guy was going to test out his new night sights on this moron, but he didn't. Four or five really big guys came out of nowhere and stopped the M&A guy from getting embarrassed a second time.

I was shocked that my two boys had to witness any of this. The way the M&A Parts guy with the goatee talked to the guy with the Glock and then the attack. At least my boys saw one way to stop a stupid bully. Grab his throat and choke the life out of him. BUT, they should not have to see this stuff at a gun show


And if you read the thread, you will see that the guy who got choked was even more out of line than that description said. I've seen people come on THR and brag about doing something with less justification than Darth Vader over there did and get praised up one side and down the other, BTW, and I think he did EXACTLY what I would have done.

[Old Dog]

I didn't see huge doses of gutter talk- I don't mind an fword here and an sword there and a mofo here and a bastich there. Then again, some people are just wimps

If the fact that I don't like reading posts that include the F-word in almost every sentence makes me a wimp, I guess I am one.

I read that entire thread about the lawyer "going all Darth Vader" on the gunshow vendor ... and still don't see how that event, even if accurately described for posterity, merited a few hundred congratulatory posts in response.

[Gordon Fink]

This one always amuses me:

“I know how to deploy a folding knife in half a nanosecond/smuggle weapons through airport security/defeat the mind-control rays, but I won’t tell you because I don’t want the criminals/terrorists/MIBs to find out.”

~G. Fink

[Boats]

One of the best features of the original Mall Ninja thread was seeing the incontrovertible evidence that both Tamara and Sean Smith, a.k.a CastleBravo, were/are? regulars there and that the former was actually a moderator.

I somehow can't imagine that was true of them, but there it is in print. :p

[Moparmike]

People who post only to brag about their product, and are too stupid to realize that their product is the dumbest thing to happen to guns since HCI.


I give you:

http://www.thehighroad.org/search.php?searchid=90643

http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=61219&highlight=safety+bullet
Note he pushes his product, but never responds in 3 pages. :scrutiny:

http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=82822&highlight=safety+bullet
Read the blog entries. Shows the man for what he is.

[Tamara]

One of the best features of the original Mall Ninja thread was seeing the incontrovertible evidence that both Tamara and Sean Smith, a.k.a CastleBravo, were/are? regulars there and that the former was actually a moderator.

The Original Mall Ninja Thread has become a sort of "Hell, I Was There" of the internet gun board world. ;)

[tex_n_cal]

Not long after I first discovered gun boards, I recall a cat at 1911forum.com who went by the tag of "Wild Romanian" who was good for a few laughs. He still owes me the phone numbers of some wild Romanian girls :evil:

[Kenneth Lew]

I'm impressed at how much gear people seem to carry in their everyday lives.

ie:
1. Main carry gun
2. 2 spare magazines for their carry gun
3. Backup gun w/ maybe spare reloads
4. Some sort of surefire (whatever tactical flashlight if the flavor of the month.
5. Some type of combat folder.
6. Spare gun/rifle in their vehicle.

People carrying a 9mm pistol with 46 rds. plus backup in a civilian role? Come on, how many shootouts have they been to? I've known people in shootouts and they do not brag about it since someone got killed, but it usually ended with less then 5 shots fired and parties disengaging.

Kenneth Lew

PS, what is the deal with listing people's firearm collections in their signature lines?

[Mannlicher]

What I love, is all those C&R mil surp rifles, that shoot sub MOA with 50 year old ammo, function flawlessly, and out preform any thing fielded by any army today. Makes you wonder why the Commies ever dumped the Mosin-Nagant.

[fistful]

You want macho posturing? This thread oughtta be a gold mine. http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=116645

[nonsense]

Im new to the internet gun board world, but after becomming interested in CZ-52's recently i began to look around the net for information on them. I quickly discovered "Clark" and his uber-proofing. I became interested enough that i tried to track down as many of his posts as possible. At first i was somewhat taken a-back (sp?) and decidedly skeptical. However after reading this im 99% for him having a bad sense of humor, or some axe to grind and 1% for him being stupid and insane, and definately on a steroid PCP cocktail. He also made a post on one forum or another about having his kids help him load a trailer (i think) up with guns he was going to blow up after a gun show, although ill admit that im not 100% on the content of the latter posting. Anyway heres what im talking about...

"Shooting 460 Rowland loads in a Patriot gave me a flinch in April 2000.
I would punch my right shoulder forward every time I pulled the trigger, of any pistolSad

I built up a 42 pound triple spring recoil spring assembly. That stopped the firing pin retainer from shaking off the slide and it stopped my flinch.

But the chamber would come up empty.
The light slide was accelerated by the three springs so fast it passed up the magazine before the next round could be pushed up.
So I put two magazine springs in the magazine. I interleaved them. The extra spring takes up the room of one 45acp round, so the mag holds one less.

An interesting asside, is that I may be able to push up 585 pounds with the shoulder lift in the gym, but I can barely pull back a 42 pound slide. The grip on the slide must be very tight or it will slip. Most men cannot do it, and I am sure few teen agers or women could.
Also, putting ammo in the magazine requires strong fingers and determination.

So now I have this little pistol that belches out 44 mag power, the recoil is ok now, but loading the mag and chambering a round takes some effort.


0) 45 acp................. 185 gr 7.6 gr AA#5 jams w/stock Patriot spring
1) 45 acp..................185 gr 10.2 gr AA#5 1100 fps 18,000psi
2) 45 acp +P...............185 gr 10.8 gr AA#5 1200 fps 21,700 psi
3) 45 Super................185 gr 12.4 gr AA#5 1312 fps 28,000 cup
4) 460 Rowland............ 185 gr 14.5 gr AA#5 1500 fps 38,800 cup
5) Hottest load I shot in Patriot..185 gr 14.8 gr AA#5
6) Hottest load I shot in a rifle ..185 gr 16.5 gr AA#5 pirmer falls out

Also Patriot triggers are from Hell.
My guess is 12 or 15 pounds.
It would make good carry gun for bear country."

@http://www.ktog.org/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=101;action=display;num=1097855562;start=9#9

[P95Carry]

Nonsense - welcome ... but, IIRC Clark is a member here!! 99% for him having a bad sense of humor, or some axe to grind and 1% for him being stupid and insane, and definately on a steroid PCP cocktail. I am not sure how much of that is said tongue in cheek or with seriousness but it is a tad strong for a first post IMO.

Clark is - hmmm ... ''extreme'' but explores the outer envelopes ... and AFAIK is putting only himself at risk. It would be useful as well as interesting if he could respond to your ''appraisal''.

[nonsense]

:scrutiny: Just so you know i wasnt questioning his overloading the gun/cartridge; i just dont think you understand how much 585lbs is. I can barely squat that much (and ive never had the nuts to try more than a 45lb bar and 6 45lb weights on both sides, and the one time i did try it i had TWO spotters in case i destroyed one or both of my knees), although im no body builder.

Im sure everyone knows what clean and jerk is. Any guesses as to the world record?

Since im not one for suspense ill tell you, its 579.7lbs or 263.5kg. :what:

sorry if i offended anyone (except clark), but after that doozie i dont believe anything the guy says. And my PCP comment was a joke, although there might be a small chance its true. (btw i am aware he is a member here, but thank you for trying to keep me from what i assume you percieved as me looking like a fool again.)

[sm]

nonsense,

Welcome to THR.

I would remind you again of the Rules of Conduct , we strongly suggest NOT attacking folks.

There is a wealth of knowledge here, over a wide spectrum of subjects. These folks will share and educate ... if you allow them to.

[nonsense]

sorry if you guys feel i personally attacked clark, or violated the forum rules.

All i really wanted to point out was that the guy has a 4 year long, and running, streak of posts listing various creative loadings and all sorts of things he's blown up. This in and of itself does not seem to lend itself to being posted on this thread, unless the guy claims to still have all his fingers and no shrapnel wounds. However his claiming to be able to shoulder press 585lbs, even once, seems above, even the aforementioned condition, on the scale of irrationality. Now i wont discard the possibility of me being wrong, its there. However on the same note i wont discard the possibility of some reclusive survivalist with an wireless internet connection that can consistantly shot .1 MOA with his garand and make head shots on moving deer at 300m more than 50% of the time.

Maybe one day ill win the lottery and set up a way to safely test the pressure limits of the CZ-52 in various conditions and configurations in order to see if it will handle anything more than a 17% overload.

But as the title of my post says, im willing to admit im wrong and eat crow if im proven as such. Hopefully this post wont sour me to the membership overly much.

[P95Carry]

Nonsense ........ I think the deal here is - tact, subtlety, courtesy etc. No real problem with a slight insinuation that something might be seeming exaggerated, hard to believe etc ..... many folks post things that can be hard to take on board and I daresay could be labelled exaggeration!

Beyond this tho - the board is very sensitive to what can be construed as a personal attack (or seeming defamation) - either direct or oblique. That may seem excessive to some but for the most part folks like it here simply because it is a very civil place but at the same time too - very public.

I don't think there will have been too much ''souring'' ... just a case of slightly ''off on the wrong foot''. Chew that crow carefully .. it's very indigestible!
:)

[nonsense]

i just hope gunkid is not driven to attempt suicide by his unfavorable mention on this thread :D

subtle enough? :cool:

but now its bedtime

[Joe Demko]

i just hope gunkid is not driven to attempt suicide by his unfavorable mention on this thread

Whatever your opinion of GK may be, one thing I absolutely guarantee you about him is that no matter how many people may have an unfavorable opinion of him, it won't bother him.
Hate him? He won't care.
Call him names? ("Felon' is one that gets used a lot) He still won't care.
Criticize his ideas? You won't ever change his mind by yelling "you're a convict and you're wrong!" over and over.

Lots of folks on the errornet have wasted truly appalling amounts of time and energy trying to shout GK down.

If you are one of the many gunboard readers out there who dislikes GK, my advice to you is just skip over his threads at other boards. You'll be happier in the long run.

[GEM]

I'm impressed at how much gear people seem to carry in their everyday lives.
1. Main carry gun
2. 2 spare magazines for their carry gun
3. Backup gun w/ maybe spare reloads
4. Some sort of surefire (whatever tactical flashlight if the flavor of the month.
5. Some type of combat folder.
6. Spare gun/rifle in their vehicle.

Kenneth Lew

Ken: This is getting serious here.

Except for the rifle in the truck, some of us do carry that stuff and have you seen a successful Red Chinese invasion from Mexico or gay marriage sweeping the country? That's because we are ready.

Now, let's be real:

1. Carrying the gun and extra ammo is common sense. One cannot assume that you will always face the one mugger attack that the J frame is good for.

2. Backup gun is fine for cops and might be for us but carrying two full guns is extreme. My carrying a small backup is NOT!

3. The flashlight is useful when:

a. the lights go out in the can at work when some eco freak turns them off when you are in the stall.
b. Checking what the heck is going on with the car - many times.
c. Walking on a hike in TX where we meet very weird stuff. Last night, we came home and there was a serious critter parked on the front porch. It is nice to take a look at it. We meet critters on the trail too.

4. The knife - a reasonable tool for opening things. Yesterday it opened a pack of flourescent lights. Today, it opened up a CD package that was shrink wrapped. It also opened up a piece of Swiss Tilster cheese that I bought at the gourmet cheese section. As my old Polish mother in law said - A man should carry a knife. So that's crazy. I also have a leatherman wave in the truck in case, I am attacked by Red Chinese gay robots and need to take them apart.

5. Rifle in the truck - a little extreme unless you live in the LA riots. However, my wife won't let me and I don't trust to leave it the trunk in a parking lot. So if the Red Chinese get through TX to you, it's your fault for mocking me.

------

Ok - I think the most ridiculous posts are the:

1. Red Chinese invasion (got me to quit TFL as I was rude to the loon who posted it, chastized and had a hissy fit).

2. Shall we fight? (The nut in his house surrounding by Hillary and ATF)

3. My choice of caliber (for a handgun) is a one shot guaranteed stopper.

Gunkid is back on GT as Iffy. He is adding to the V Creed threads which is a combo you can't believe.

[Tom Servo]

I'd just like to quote this, from the hk91 (http://www.hk91.com/boards/Forum2/HTML/001283-4.html) forum:

Unfortunately I can not take credit for your courageous story. There are many stories like yours, I have personally saved the a%$-virginity of several young boys in my days. But there are many brave men like myself out there who risk their lives daily, so that boys like yourself can live a normal heterosexual life.

God bless the brave men and women of Mall Security everywhere :)

[Joe Demko]

I am attacked by Red Chinese gay robots and need to take them apart.

Red Chinese robots are gay? Are you sure? I think you may be misinterpreting their lubrication requirements.

[Tamara]

Well, uh, okay... I carry two folders every day. Not because I'm macho, but because I have two trouser pockets and I'm not sure which hand will be occupied when I need to open a box or "slit film over entree and beans, remove film over rice." :o

[BluesBear]

Dang you, Logan 5. Give a fella some warning next time. You purt near sent me back to "the home" with that one.

But the straw that broke the Camel's back was...
In my humble opinion, the best gear setup for {NRA smallbore/sporting clays/needlepoint/diaper changing} is a bucket with eyeholes, a whiffle bat, and some embroidery floss for garroting, with the Czech Skorpion machine pistol coming in a close second.

Laughing that hard is still extemely painfull. I haven't laughed that hard in in six months.


Hmmm I wonder what a TSRO for a Camel would look like?


Joe Demko,
Red Chinese robots are gay?
Only the green ones with the pattern 9 rivet pattern.
The remaining models are merely cheerful.

[Gunnutz13]

...heck is this "Molon Labe" thing anyway ? If I knew what language it was, I would look it up myself. Latin ? :scrutiny:

[BluesBear]

Gunnutz13 check here >>> http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=75364

[Gunnutz13]

Thanks BluesBear...very interesting reading. And this story was just on the History Channel the other day. Always liked them Spartans... :evil:

[sm]

Tamara wrote: Well, uh, okay... I carry two folders every day. Not because I'm macho, but because I have two trouser pockets and I'm not sure which hand will be occupied when I need to open a box or "slit film over entree and beans, remove film over rice."

Ya know - that makes sense. :D

As I notice I have two pockets in my jeans too. I have one knife clipped to strong side pocket - INSIDE the other pocket is a small SAK. ( real pain to try to open that one with teeth and one-handed I might add).

OKay - I was NOT "posturing" when reached with weak hand and using crossdraw retrieved my clipped knife from strong side. I'm just not as smart as Tarmara...umm my strong hand was holding the Apple Pie that needed "slit".

Never said I was smart now did I ? :p

[NMshooter]

Wow, I am impressed. Almost as bad as what I had to listen to while working the counter at a gun shop. :) :p

...duct taped ceramic plates... :D Too bad there is no laughing smiley.

[P95Carry]

NMshooter ... Too bad there is no laughing smiley.try this one http://www.acbsystems.com/images/smilies/lol.gif

;)

[Gary in Pennsylvania]

Thanks to this thread ( and all the hyperlinks laced through it! ) the last hour-and-half of work ( between X-mas and New Years is dead ) went by with much laughter and enjoyment!

:p :rolleyes:

[dasmi]

Just thought I'd bring back this fun thread.

[Skywarp]

Still hilarious.


Soo many idiots in this world it's hard not to laugh

[Deanimator]

I'm always taken by the juvenile posturing of ANTI-gunners.

They never need guns, will "break people's knees" with ballbats, are "masters of (insert martial art here)", have taken guns weapons away from muggers, etc.

The funniest example was an Australian guy way back in the early FidoNet days of the mid '80s. I had typically run rhetorical rings around him, humiliating him in the process. Losing control, as they frequently do, he told me, "Were you in the same room with me, I would break your nose!"

My reply: "Ah, behold the gentle pacifist..."

He was SO embarassed, he actually appologized to me.

Of course I'm also always tickled by neo-Nazis who ANONYMOUSLY post death threats, people's addresses and phone numbers and even maps to people's houses. Whenever one of these simpletons tries that stuff with me, I ALWAYS reply, "You know where I live. How come you're not here yet? Are you too dumb to follow your own directions, or just too scared?"

[Mannlicher]

I suppose my favorite bit of posturing, is from those self appointed guardians of whats right and politically correct. Those that seem to have a difficult time differentiating between riding upon the High Road, and their High Horse.
You know the ones............. the pontificators, the "holier than thou" prim and propers.

[Pork Fat]

Running across one of these older threads and seeing a post by the pithy, peppery,and provocative WildwilltheexileeverendAlaska makes me smile.

[DRZinn]

"Were you in the same room with me, I would break your nose!"Reply: "And that is why I need a gun.

[bill2]

I wonder if any of these idiots change over time, when they see in plain print what they're writing. Some of them have to be embarrassed.

[HCfan]

I wonder if any of these idiots change over time

Some do, some don't, and others go back to jail (without their assault wheelbarrows though).

Since that post was started I personally have seen change in some of the ones that used to posture, good change, and the ones who didn't are forever barred from most of the boards anyway.

Now it seems we are more in the doom and gloom era where the macho has left and the whining has begun.

But, on some of the lesser boards (newer), the armchair commandos have moved in until that faithful day when they too will over extend their welcome and have to move on.

[Monkeybear]

I enjoy AR-15.com and I acknowledge that many members there are LEO or Military. I understand the need for a good solid dependable weapon.

That said I sometimes chuckle when someone whose only ever fired their weapon at the range wants to know if a certain accessory will "hold up in battle" or is "battle worthy" or some such nonsense. I guess its the assumption that they would hold up "in battle" long enough for their rifle to break that amuses me.

Suggesting expensive taticool gear to people asking for honest recommendations in hopes that the readers here will associate said gear with them and thus be impressed. For example I asked for peoples opinions on a good inexpensive revolver for my mom, just looking for a place to start in the revolver half of the gun store, and a guy starts recommending a FN 5.7 while another recommends the Mateba. I've seen a guy ask for an inexpensive truck gun and then told to get a SA Socom II in .308.

[Don't Tread On Me]

Nightcrawler's post is one of the greatest in THR history.

[Steam dragon]

Bears

Zombies

Okay, two more...

Zombie Bears

[dfaugh]

Most of the posts on any one of the thousand threads on here about shooting dogs.

Or using pepper spray... or going hand-to-hand (mouth?) with a dog. Or just 95% of the "dangerous dog" or "I was attacked by a dog." threads.

Almost entirely from people who have NO idea what they're talking about, don't know dog behavior, and appear to be scared spitless by anything bigger than a chihuahua (which, statistically, is more likely to bite you than a Rotteweiler).

[brerrabbit]

The people that anthramorphize their pets so much that they are willing to kill you for shooting them, yet do not care enough about their little pets to ensure that they do not become problems.

[Monkeybear]

Anyone who purchases a firearm such as an AR or an AK has the right to be concerned about its quality and possible time between deployment and failure.


I understand this although the same could be said about any firearm, not just ARs and AKs.

I think I was at fault though for using the word "always".

Sometimes its perfectly understandable for someone want something like say a good flashlight at the end of their rifle. Especially if they plan to use it for home defence. Other times, in the right context, someone wanting to scrap their $100 mil spec buttstock for a $300 one that wont break if they ever have to use it to break down doors can be a bit much.

I was wrong to say always, I only laugh sometimes.

[Joe Demko]

It's funny, but I think some of my favorite gunboard posturing is when Joe chastises someone else.

I love you too, furious styles.

Go back and check through my posting history here, at TFL, and at the PA board. You will find a copious lack of "there I was..." posts with my name attached. The two "Action Joe" stories you'll find that I've related are about the time I was burglarized and the time I stabbed the guy with a florist's vial. I'm just not a chest-thumping, d*ck-waving kind of guy.
I freely admit that I gaily heap derision and liberally pour sarcasm all over posts by chest-thumpers, Randroids, GOPbots, and_in general_anybody whose posts can be summarized as "I'm right, you're evil."
You might therefore, legitimately accuse me of being snarky. You might accuse me of being an elitist. You might accuse me of being a sarcastic prick. But see, fs me ol' china, this here thread is about "macho posturing" on gunboards, so you are_at best_ off topic. Maybe you should start a thread of your own about me (APS?) instead of threadcrapping in this zombie.

[profshadow]

There I was, 40 thousand feet, no parachute, a naked blonde under each arm and no rounds left for my trusty combat masterpiece.


by my figuring, you'd be able to get to the mile-high club about 5 times....or would that be the 5 mile high club twice?


If the blondes had enough hair, why not weave a parachute to slow you down, allow you to aim for a haystack????

[rangerruck]

most anything over at glock talk

[Stiletto Null]

Hey, I list my guns in my sig...but I'm a milsurp collector. :confused:

HOLY THREAD REVIVAL BATMAN

[rangerruck]

Jimmy Carter.... Your best U.N. advertisement for the deep cover sleeper and 'YURI' implant, since ww2. So keep hope alive all you wanna be, gonna be dictators, it can be done, if Russia's KGB did it!

[nyresq]

I must say thank you to whom ever revived this thread. I missed it last time it was up on the boards and never read the mall ninja chronicals.
Holy crap did I laugh...

thanks for an evening of laughs with the mall ninja links.

I love this place.

NY Res Q

[Working Man]

Some do, some don't, and others go back to jail (without their assault wheelbarrows though).

LOL. Forgot about him. Anyone have the link to when he got arrested?
There was some pretty funny stuff on that one.

[zinj]

Man, anytime anyone brings up knife fighting.

[Cousin Mike]

At present, it would have to be this new thing I keep seeing.

"I'm beginning to feel disillusioned with THR.. I mean, this IS THE HIGH ROAD, isnt it? You extremists are advocating illegal activities!"

:D

Well I guess that's not really macho posturing - but wimpy posturing is even worse if you ask me.

[GEM]

My favorite closed thread with posturing was from someone who claimed they would use deadly force to prevent the police from performing a cavity search on their person.

Being an older person now, I just got a letter from my doctor suggesting :eek: that wonderful cavity search at my next check up. What gun should I use to prevent this? Or should I bring a bottle of CLP to the exam? :what:

[Malone LaVeigh]

My personal favorite from this (http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=12633&highlight=answer+war+protest%2A) thread about the time we were getting ready to get ourselves into that hornet's nest in the ME.

But hey, I've prepared for this day all of my life. Anytime you folks want to throw down, just let me know.

That particular character was later banned...

[evan price]

1. The types that say, never draw your CCW unless you are going to shoot. Like the gun can't leave the holster without drawing blood. Sure hope that works out for ya!

2. The people who think a CCW means they are Batman. They fantasize about walking in on a violent crime in progress and shooting the bad guy 4 times in the back of the head, and being hailed a hero by one and all. Let me know when that happens. And the address of the refrigerator box you'll be living in after the wrongful death suit strips you of all your assets.

3. The ones that have a tactical minimum daily loadout that envies a uniformed LEO. You know, full size 1911 with three mags, BUG is a commander-size 1911 with two mags, carry OC spray, Taser, a big folder knife, a smaller BUK (Back Up Knife), a Sure-Fire flashlight, spare batteries for the flashlight, ASP baton, cell phone, pager, wallet, keys, etc. and all this stylishly concealed beneath a tastefully cut suit coat. Not to forget the trunk gun, the Bug-Out bags filling the trunk, 30 gallons of drinking water, two spare tires, etc.

[DRZinn]

The types that say, never draw your CCW unless you are going to shoot. Like the gun can't leave the holster without drawing blood. Sure hope that works out for ya!While I disagree with that too, it's not posturing. It's just a different philosophy that takes "Don't draw your gun unless you're willing to use it," a perfectly valid rule, so far as to become "Don't draw your gun unless you have to use it," which I think is pretty silly.

But it ain't macho posturing.

[RyanM]

The ones that have a tactical minimum daily loadout that envies a uniformed LEO. You know, full size 1911 with three mags, BUG is a commander-size 1911 with two mags, carry OC spray, Taser, a big folder knife, a smaller BUK (Back Up Knife), a Sure-Fire flashlight, spare batteries for the flashlight, ASP baton, cell phone, pager, wallet, keys, etc. and all this stylishly concealed beneath a tastefully cut suit coat. Not to forget the trunk gun, the Bug-Out bags filling the trunk, 30 gallons of drinking water, two spare tires, etc.

Dunno, most of the "big" loadouts seem reasonable to me. I can manage a midframe Glock and 1-2 spare mags under a loose T-shirt fine. I could get by with no spares probably, but it evens out the weight so my pants don't sag to one side. Wallet in side pocket, keys and cell in the other. Backup piece, if carried, in rear pocket, backup reload in same or other rear pocket.

Glock, holster, 3 mags, 40 rounds, 2 mag carriers, backup, holster, reload, only adds up to 4.5 pounds. That really isn't as much as it sounds like. Just the usual crap I carry in my pockets adds up to a little over 2 pounds, pants and belt included. A cheap little Wal-Mart belt made out of cardboard holds up everything fine, so it can't be too heavy. I don't even carry anything but the backup that often, but it becomes unnoticable after about 5 minutes. There were a couple times at the range today where I went "where'd I leave my stuff???", only to find it was on my hips.

---------------

While I disagree with that too, it's not posturing. It's just a different philosophy that takes "Don't draw your gun unless you're willing to use it," a perfectly valid rule, so far as to become "Don't draw your gun unless you have to use it," which I think is pretty silly.

I think you mean more like "don't draw your gun unless you're going to use it" for that second one? Not drawing unless you have to use the gun sounds perfectly logical to me.

I think that's just a matter of simplicity and mindset. If you tried to be totally realistic about it, you'd end up with something like "If I draw my gun, I will shoot unless the bad guy turns and runs away, or drops his weapon and puts his hands up, or whatever." The "gun must taste blood once drawn" philosophy merely cuts off every word past "shoot."

And that may be important for getting someone into the right mindset. A lot of people do consider a gun more of a threat than an actual weapon, sadly. Endorsing an "if I draw, it is because I will shoot" philosophy may help to drive the point home to those people, that the only time you should clear leather is if you are in fear for your life, and shooting is justified (at the instant where you make the decision to draw).

[Monkeybear]

While I disagree with that too, it's not posturing. It's just a different philosophy that takes "Don't draw your gun unless you're willing to use it," a perfectly valid rule, so far as to become "Don't draw your gun unless you have to use it," which I think is pretty silly.

But it ain't macho posturing.


Evan - I agree with DocZinn. It dosnt mean that everytime you draw your gun you have to shoot somebody but rather that if you take it out youd better not be doing it to "threaten" someone. A gun as a threat is a very stupid and dangerous way to escalate the level of violence in a situation. Im not saying that you are avocating that but Im just pointing out the reasoning is not meant to make you shoot but to keep you from drawing.

Please excuse any bad wording, horrible misspellings or general missing the point that I may have used in my post, its kinda late for me:o

[Otherguy Overby]

evan price:

2. and being hailed a hero by one and all. Let me know when that happens. And the address of the refrigerator box you'll be living in after the wrongful death suit strips you of all your assets.


Uh Evan, I just moved the refrigerator box out behind the backhoe. It's right next to the tactical wheelbarrow.

BTW, do you think a 35 inch tall tire is too much for the wheelbarrow? I think it would look cool along with a couple of Ace buttstocks replacing the handles. A wheelbarrow really isn't tactical if you can't get a good cheek weld...

[Dr. Dickie]

"BTW, do you think a 35 inch tall tire is too much for the wheelbarrow? I think it would look cool along with a couple of Ace buttstocks replacing the handles. A wheelbarrow really isn't tactical if you can't get a good cheek weld..."

The most important feature of the tactical wheelbarrow is solid tires. With the inflatable varity, one shot and you are down:evil:

[evan price]

On most TW's (tactical wheelbarrows) 35's aren't bad as long as you don't expect to encounter any serious obstacles, so they would be OK for the average mall crawl or playground assault... Your best bet is an agressive agricultural-tread tractor tire 48" tall or so... Also it is best to load them with Calcium both for weight (it stabilizes the firing platform and makes it not so top heavy and tippy) but also to provide mass to bash through things like fences, porch railings, and school buses. You also need to ditch those wimpy wood handles and substitute some made from ironwood or old growth oak, at least 4x6 in size, to prevent tactical handle separation (THS). THS is at best an embrassment, or at worst, potentially fatal.
Some European TWU (Tactical Wheelbarrow Users) report good results using a Michelin Run-Flat tire in 20" wheel size combined with a sticky tread compound for Autobahn use. Of course this severely limits off-road and rough country ability but by using a centralized tyre inflation/deflation system like the HUMMVEE you can do better in rough terrain by changing the overall ground clearance. With an on board air system, and using an air-bag suspension instead of the solid axle found on most tactical wheelbarrows, allows more load carrying capability and the ability to lower the overall profile of the TW when cresting hills to stay hull-down.

Your mileage may vary, of course.

And as far as the don't draw unless you shoot thing, I am of course referring to the folks who say they never draw unless the decision has been made that they WILL shoot and that's final. Period. Draw & shoot. "If'n I'd ha drawed it you'd be shot" Well, IMHO, that's silly.

[cracked butt]

My favorite in recent memory was the guy on TFL who claimed to shoot 1/2 minute groups with his dragonov at 600 yards all day long. When people challenged his claims, he claimed that he was some sort of tacticool 1331 5331, that is until Mr Lucibella called him out on it.:evil:

[kungfuhippie]

mall ninja....

Sooooooooo Funny!!!!

Laughing so hard my side hurts!!!!!!!!

The guys who think that carrying where even illegially is ok because it may save you life. How many of them actually carry?

[cracked butt]

http://thefiringline.com/forums/showthread.php?t=165988&highlight=romak

[Monkeybear]

Evan - Basically if you've got reason enough to pull your gun you aint got the time to stop and decide if your gonna use it. More than anything else the "don't pull if you don't shoot" is meant to keep people from pulling their guns without need.

I personally think the worst kind of macho posturing is when a person speaks of having unecessarily pulled a gun.

An older guy that comes by my job sometimes told me of a young kid(14-16) that "maybe" stole something from his flea market stand. He grabbed the kid pulled him into a closed off area and pulled a 1911(he called it a .45 but the way he described it Im sure it was a 1911) on him. He put the gun in the kids face and told him that he would kill him if he ever stole from him again. He seemed very proud of this. That is the worst kind of macho BS.



Edit:cracked butt - Thanks for the link. Thats the funniest bit of reading I've done in a while. Gotta hand it to the mod Rich, admirably handled.

[X-Rap]

A story I can personally relate was a guy that worked for me about 15 yrs ago. We were doing construction work at a copper smelter in the SW and hired one of the engineers sons as a favor. any one who has hired as a favor can guess the results. Anyway this guy had no skill and was only hanging on because of his daddy, I had him and a few others doing some laborer work out on the tailings pile it was summer hot as hell and they were breaking in the shade when the guy tells me something bit him. I look at his hand and see nothing, no squashed bug around only his word. He says scorpion and I know they are around and he starts to act sick so I load him in the truck head to the office on the way to the field office he starts shivering and putting on a bull$h1t act so at the office I have them call ahead to clinic with his sting claim. On the way this guy is going for the academy award and tells me "HE HASN'T FELT THAT MUCH PAIN SINCE BEING WOUNDED SMUGGLING GUNS INTO AFGANISTAN"this from a guy who can't find his a$$ with both hands and a search warrant and now he wants me to believe he was special ops CIA. Anyway I'm shure he had to find a job somewhere and it might have been heading up a tactical mall security detail. My contact ended about a week after when I saw him drinking a premixed Jim Beam and Coke at lunch he seemed surprised to be fired for drinking on the job. His father confided later his shame for sireing such a worthless ba$t@rd.

[SamTuckerMTNMAN]

There are plenty of dorks out there. I have written a few things which looking back upon them are a bit tasteless. But to me, it is just as 'macho' to sit around and punk on the people writing who have a different bent on their passion, who seem ready to be prepared for anything, who are trying to be 'tactical'. I mean, sure its cheesy, but acting all smug and righteous from behind a computer and knocking on everything we 'don't approve' of isn't much better.
Some of us have performed under tense scenarios. Some haven't. It doesn't mean we can't ask and share information. I have known some arrogant jerks who were good at what they did. I have known some shy geeks who were just as awesome at their work too.
Some threads and links did have me laughing outloud...not tactical where I am working :uhoh:
st

[Big Calhoun]

I am so sorry that I wasn't around for the Mall Ninja days. I'll have to research those posts.

My favorite bouts of machismo come from the kids. Like the something-teen over at TFL that caused a firestorm when he asked how to conceal a dessert eagle. Any posts that refers to weapons by their names given in video games or tries to compare characteristics between video-game performance and real life performance is always a hoot.

[skit]

well boys and girls. after reading the posts about mall ninja, i just had to sign up to this forum. this is the most entertaining gun forum yet.

[Don't Tread On Me]

Tactical wheelbarrow anyone?


:p

[kungfuhippie]

welcome Skit. Mall Ninja had me laughing on and off all day.