Remington catalog funnies


March 9, 2011, 10:04 PM
I've always liked Remington catalogs. They have a consistent flavor all their own, certainly over the 40+ years I've thumbed through them. This despite multiple ownership changes. Big Green still puts a nice one together.

But the best has got to be the over-the-top multi-hyphenated writing style.
Remington has been talking up its product lines in the same hyphenated style for as long as I can remember.

Examples from Remington's 2010 catalog:

"the bone-busting 450 Bushmaster"
"tough-as-nails bad boy"
"close-quarters powerhouse"
"Nitro-Mag is an armor-clad warrior"
"lethal blend of speed, reliability and smooth operation"
"Its speed, versatility, bone-crushing power and swift pointing characteristics couldn't be topped, so we added a host of improve...and more."
"the ultimate in lethality"
"Ducks and geese beware"
"dual-purpose bird slayer...the freezer-filling Express"
"perfecting the art of flattening bigger game at longer ranges"
"put together with devastating implications for birds at longer ranges"
"deer-levelling technology"
"rock-steady aim and awesome control"
"prepare to see record scores crushed at a rapid rate by our latest upgrade"
"The model 700 emerged in 1962.....the exceptionally crisp Model 700 trigger assembly gets better every year."
"a standout since its introduction...but its guts are what makes it the legendary fixture it is today."
"feature-laden olive drab green synthetic stock is a technological marvel that looks and feels the part..."
"revolutionary enhancements"
"chambered for the biggest, baddest, hardest-hitting 30 caliber in the woods"
"the only thing you'll notice is the near invincibility"
"a no-frills, tack-driving game-dropping machine"
"ultra-rugged synthetic stock"
"A barrel with three sides. An action of singular dominance."
"the Xtreme Hunting Rifle, firmly seated atop the food chain..."
"With....our patent-pending triangular formation, the rifle seems to point itself"
"a confluence of family traits....that come together like five shots in one hole."
"Stunning from the bench. Lethal in the field."
"our revolutionary patent-pending triangular barrel design and one of the most advanced camo patterns ever devised converge to make a massive impact on varmint populations and shatters the previous standards..."

imo, Rem's prose is not only enough to make any man drool with want, it's entertaining.

Have you guys got any favorite firearms catalogs, and why?

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March 10, 2011, 01:34 PM
If not the hyphens, the overload of superlatives and exaggerations are reminiscent of the quirky, Barnum Bailyesque word/phrase caricatures used to hype products in Herters catalogs of old. I kind of like the hyperbolic advertising language: if you're proud of your product, say so like you mean it! :)

March 10, 2011, 01:57 PM
Blue Press....guess why ;)

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