[MitchSchaft]

Me and the wife were watchin one of those COPs shows and she said she would call the cops on our kid to give her a scare. I was wondering what you guys would do. :uhoh:

[SodaPop]

Talk about how violent the drug trade is and how many criminals with illegal guns screw we law abiding gun owners.

I had a roommate that lived here that was afraid of being in my basement when I was reloading. He is afraid of guns and thinks they should be banned. He also smokes pot and does Cocaine on a regular bases.:cuss:

The commercials they are showing on TV nowadays about the white kid buying drugs and being responsible for the inner city kids getting killed are good.

[Malone LaVeigh]

I'd have a long talk with them. The first thing I'd say is that the worst danger of pot is the stupid laws against it. That getting caught can really screw up your life. I'd do everything I can to find out how much they use and if it's interfering with their learning and development. In other words, I'd try to acertain whether there is a problem, rather than assuming that the use of the stuff is a problem to begin with. I would let it be known in no uncertain terms that I do not condone or in any way wish to support their use. If I thought they were in a place that it would make a difference, I would appeal to them to stop.

And that's about all you can do. When they're old enough to be messing with that stuff, they have free will and will make their own decisions regardless of what you want. Oh, yeah, you can completely ruin their lives by turning them into the police. Just what any loving parent would do.

[Combat-wombat]

You know what twist i'd like to put on those "Drug money supports terror" ads? Here goes:
Here's Jane. Jane is filling up her Ford Excursion with gasoline. This is Jane's gas dealer. He buys his gasoline from Texaco. This is Texaco's CEO, who bribes the president to make relations with the middle east and bomb the countries who don't cooperate.
OIL MONEY SUPPORTS WAR.

[Mark Benningfield]

Hello All.

Well, maybe I'm not enlightened enough, but I would beat their butts off. And they know it. Having the cops come down on the kids scares the parents more than the kids, and the kids are smart enough to know that, too. The kids just don't have a long enough view to understand the kind of grief they're in for when they get crossways of the law, but the parents do. However, the kids don't need the long view to understand a belt across their backside -- it's right there where they can get a good look at it (so to speak).

[Ron L]

I'd have "the talk" with them. Then, I'd call one of a couple of friends who are LEO's to have another "talk", unofficially, of course. There are many factors involved in exactly what my response would be. First time? Long-time user? One joint? Large bag? There are a lot of questions to be answered.

I believe that, as a parent, it's my responsibility to do my best to help my kids grow into the best possible adults they can be. After that, they're on their own. They're legally able to make their own decisions that decide their futures.

"If you train up a child in the way they should go, when they get old, they will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

[Wildalaska]

If its any good, ask him/her to share:D :neener:

Just joking, but pot smoking in Alaska is omipresent and pretty much ignored. Used to be legal too, and probably will be again.

I dont smoke pot or drink, but look at pot a lot more favourably then booze.

I would tell the kid...when you are 18 you can do what you want. Its your life. Until then your *** is mine.

WildnowcocaineisanotherstoryAlaska

[Beren]

I would have to have a long talk with the kid. Try to impress upon him/her that while drug laws are stupid and only serve as a massive job welfare program for criminals and law enforcement, the penalties are severe and could brand him/her for the rest of her life.

I'd remind her that having pot in the house could put her in a foster home and cause our house to be confiscated.

Then, someone gets a spanking, and I don't care if they're 12 or 17. Though if it's a daughter, mom would do the spanking.

[Sean Smith]

Put a padlock on the fridge.

[Bob Locke]

Count me in the less-enlightened crowd, too: the butt-whipping would commence post-haste. Talking would follow, of course, but only after he/she could sit down for it. Then there'd be a pow-wow involving the parents and kids that my kids run with.

And yes, I'd do the same if it were alcohol instead of drugs. Until they're paying their own bills and living on their own, the rule-making is up to me.

[cratz2]

Well, our oldest is 6 so I'd like to think we're 8 or 10 years away from that possibility but I doubt of I would call the police to scare her. Maybe, possibly have a police officer friend come over, but I would actually 'call the police'.

The problem is pot use is so wide spread that, and I don't mean this as a sign of corruption or 'bad cop doings', but I don't think I know any police officers who don't smoke pot. Teachers do it, cops do it, politicians do it, lawyers do it, doctors do it. I don't and my wife doesn't but I believe we are in the minority among our diverse friends. Are we supposed to tell our kids not to do the things that their teachers, police officers, doctors etc do? The ex president did it, our current president probably has.

It's complicated. And I fear it's an uphill battle. It's not just the stoner kids that smoke anymore like it was when I was in school. But the valedictorians and the jocks and the band geeks and the... the... everyone. Or at least a segment of every clique.

Personally, even though I don't smoke, I don't see why pot is any different than cigarettes or alcohol. And we know that for people that live in cities of any size, it's pretty much impossible to keep cigarettes and alcohol away from kids. I hate to sound like Tom Arnold in True Lies, but the few hours a day parents spend with their kids can't compete with the constant barrage of music, TV, movies and their friends all telling them pot is OK. If I were any more of a conspiracy theorist, I'd think pot was distributed and allowed to be distributed either by poloticians bent on keeping America from thinking or by leaders of some foreign government or governments to lower our resistance for a couple generations... for whatever purpose.

Oh well... going back to my non-pot-induced realilty now. :uhoh:

[MitchSchaft]

I like Malone LaVeigh's and Baren's reply. I had that in mind.

[PJR]

Beat your own child for smoking pot?

If your best solution is to beat a teenager senseless then the kid has a much bigger problem than toking -- an ignorant parent.

Paul

[doseyclwn]

As a recovered alcoholic/addict (7.5 years sober), I have struggled with this question. My son, who is 2, is hopefully a few years away from that, but I have a few preliminary thoughts.

I do a lot of "meetings" and do plenty of work with recovering alcoholics, so my kids will be exposed to it on that side of things. If I ever catch them drinking/smoking, they get 1 "get out of jail free" card as long as they haven't been busted. The next time they get in trouble, big time. I don't believe in "beating" the kids, but some form of harsh discipline is in order. Time 3 and they go to treatment. And they don't get trusted for a LONG time.

I have this crazy idea I want to share with them, that I believe that though noone is perfect (as I was not), but that one of the most important aspects of family is trust. My children will have my trust until they prove otherwise. One infraction is not enough to lose that trust, but two or three are. After that, they will have to earn that.

For one thing, if my kids are doing drugs, they are NOT going to go shooting with me.

[biere]

Part of it might be pulling some articles about stuff. On ar15.com there was an article about someone who got in trouble for a small amount of pot and had their guns confiscated.

Playing on the net you can find house and land and car seizures real easy.

Heck, most of the complaints about some of the gun articles posted is how the war on drugs has taken away rights.

I don't have kids, if I do have kids they will understand that getting caught with anything of this sort is not to be considered minor the way the law treats it.

[TexasVet]

Back in the 80's when I caught my then high school aged daughter with a baggie full, I called a friend on the force. He told me to meet him at the Houston morgue with her. He took us in and showed her the bodies of two kids her age who had died that day in a pot related accident.
Then a couple of days later, after talking to her a lot about the ordinary and the legal dangers of smoking pot, I found out who she got it from. I stuck a .38 Super Colt in the nostril of the punk who sold it to her and told him he did NOT want to ever do that again. I'm pretty sure he didn't. Not to her, anyway.
I guess he was more scared of me than mad, because I expected to hear from the cops about it, but never did. He was still a little smart, I guess, because he understood that I would have killed him if I ever found out he sold to her again.

I expect some of you will think what I did to her was harsh and some will think what I did to him was harsher, but they both worked. And my daughter is still alive, with degrees in accounting, finance and teaching, with four great kids of her own.

[Felonious Monk]

Texasvet-- Outstanding example for the rest of us!

Beren, Malone-- Agreed. The War on (some) Drugs is a farce. But the jail time for it is REAL, and the risk/reward is not a good enough ratio to risk it.

SodaPop-- Oh, so you BELIEVE those distortions and lies that the ONDCP perpetuate.
My favorite is the one with the EPT and the teenage girl.
"Be careful! Pot smoking leads to pregnancy!" :confused: :fire:

PJR-- Get off your politically correct high horse. Corporal punishment is not the first "go to", but it is a deterrent just for a kid to know it's in play as an option.

RonL-- your last line says it all. :)

[Waitone]

I didn't drink or do drugs. Same story with my wife.

Our youngest daughter begins taking up with some really slimy characters, male and female. Its not long before we see evidence of both substances. We did the parental talks. We did the family counselor. We did everything posssible to head off the problem except for one little detail:

We forgot one very simple premise. Education will not alleviate what is in essence a moral problem. My daughter was the one who ruptured the the child parent bond. She was the one who adopted a totally alien lifestyle. All her actions were her responsibility and directed at my wife and I.

I look back and now see nothing I or my wife could have done to head off the crash.

If I could go back in time and do it all over again my approach would be completely different. My approach would be to link consequences with actions. Make the link hard, fast, and painful to the extent my child would suffer immediate consequences when an infraction of my moral code occured. I have no problem now with using my moral code as the standard since I was ethically, morally, and legally responsible for her conduct. My wife and I did not play hardball and we should have from my daughter's first pitch.

[MitchSchaft]

I stuck a .38 Super Colt in the nostril of the punk

I wish that were legal :D.

[bad_dad_brad]

Whatever you do, do not call the police. That is the dumbest thing I ever heard. Your kid will go to juvy jail, and you are likely to be prosecuted yourself. Your house searched, your lives disrupted, your child with a record.

Read my lips: the police are not your friends! Todays cop is trained not to judge, just to arrest, if he thinks a law has been broken.

No, talk to your child, and if he needs help, get it outside of the legal system.

[Felonious Monk]

Amen, bad dad brad!

The days of Andy Griffith coming over to teach your kid an object lesson are over. They'll just haul 'em in and screw up ALL your lives.

[MitchSchaft]

My kid is only 2.5 months, so we got some time :D. This is purely hypothetical.

[doseyclwn]

I expect some of you will think what I did to her was harsh and some will think what I did to him was harsher, but they both worked. And my daughter is still alive, with degrees in accounting, finance and teaching, with four great kids of her own.

Wow, Tex. Yeah, it's pretty harsh but it's not like I don't understand.

[Standing Wolf]

Never having had children, I can't say for sure, but I believe I'd have the talk about the war on drugs and the unhappy results of being caught in the cross-fire. I'd talk about my own pot smoking, which waned away to naught in the summer of 1972 for lack of interest. I'd talk about my old pal John, who got busted at 19, sent to jail for a month, raped, and so forth. I'd talk about a woman I knew who managed to get addicted to prescription drugs, lost her child to the state authorities, went to prison, and committed suicide there.

[DeltaElite]

I would ask the little twerps how they got into my stash. :D :neener:

I would do the same for pot as I would if I found them drunk, I would have them charged for it.
I am not going to risk my career in Le for my kids stupid actions, which they have been advised against.
If I wasn't in Le, I would discuss the issue while kicking some booty.
First offense is drug counseling anyway, so it would be good for them to have to try to stay awake through some drug counselors lectures. :D

[chaim]

I'm with Standing Wolf with pinches of some of the others thrown in.

I'd be honest about my past- a very short and stupid experimental time where I thought trying pot was a good idea. What that time did do was let me meet some people who had real problems. Some cleaned up and had good lives (so far), some never cleaned up and ended up in jail, homeless and for some dead.

I'd explain the legal trouble of being caught. You want to go to college and need student loans to do so- too bad. You want a federal job- too bad. You do it while in college or graduate school and you're caught- you are expelled. You do it while at home- you (or your parents) lose the home. You can lose your car, job, friends, freedom, etc. You have more than enough for one high and you can be prosecuted for dealing and then you've just upped the ante ten fold.

There would be counseling. The visit to the morgue sounds like a pretty good idea. They'd get a talk from our rabbi. They'd lose all kinds of privileges for quite some time (esp. shooting) and they'd have to earn back the lost trust.

Of course I won't wait until they get caught to try to keep them from doing drugs. I'd be sure they were well aware of the dangers (physical and legal) long before they were old enough to even think about it.

Of course I'm not married or a dad yet so it is all conjecture at this point. In reality, who knows- maybe I'd find myself in the "beat them silly" crowd (though I doubt it).

[Justin]

Believe it or not, the show South Park had a really excellent episode that dealt with this issue.
The parents in the show decided that the best way to keep their kids from doing drugs was to 'scare them straight' using a ridiculous ploy. (If you've seen the episode, you know what I mean.) The ploys more or less echoed what you see in the television ads- that pot makes you psycho, or easily raped, or means your a terrorist, or any of the other one-dimensional bs that anyone with half a brain can see through.

At the end of the episode, the kids force a confrontation, and the parents come out with the truth:

Smoking pot makes you apathetic. It makes you happy to sit on your butt watching daytime TV and eating Cheetos. It makes you complacent about things that you shouldn't be complacent about instead of wanting to better yourself.

I would also think that an explanation of the legal ramifications of getting caught with pot would be in order.

[KRAUTGUNNER]

"......lives disrupted, screwed up and ruined........."

JUST BECAUSE A KID IS CAUGHT SMOKING POT???

How severe are the penalties in the USA for using cannabis products?

In Germany, a kid who was caught smoking grass, can expect a not too harsh reprimand by a judge and at the most (only in cases of a repeat offense) a few hours of service of the public interest (like sweeping leaves in the park or trash disposal at the roadsides).

I don't see the point in ruining the life of kids by throwing them in the slammer only for smoking a few joints.

If those kids are deprived of their opportunities in the future and especially of getting jobs with good prospects, just because they have a criminal record for cannabis abuse, they are likely to become the criminals of tomorrow. GREAT!!! :( :( :(

[Ryder]

The great "war on drugs" was accompanied by a lot of new laws. One in particular is called forfieture. If anyone is on your property with drugs (knowingly or otherwise) everything of yours is forfiet. The cops take your home and possesions away from you and auction it off. They supposedly use the money to further fund the war.

This may have changed? I don't keep up on it, but I've not seen any news stories lately of ocean liners being being confiscated due to passenger possesion of a single joint (like I did when this insanity started). Things change a lot. I hear for example that in this state they are going to do away with the mandatory sentencing requirements, parole some of the life sentences, and even limit the term of probation to something less than the rest of a person's life. Apparently the paperwork gets to be a real bummer after 20 or 30 years for the state.

No death sentences are being performed in this state for drugs, we don't allow it. I think they ship them another state where it is legal though. Some have died during arrest, but I don't suppose that can be called an execution for drugs? Can it?

Illegal drugs is illegal drugs. There is very little distinguishing going on whether one drug is worse for your health than another. If there was many presciption and over the counter drugs would be illegal. Quanity is the factor which causes the most differentiating in sentencing.

[doseyclwn]

How severe are the penalties in the USA for using cannabis products?

Depends upon where you live. The problem is not so much that many of us really care about POT that much (though many of us are viciously anti-drug), what we care about is that unfortunately, in this country, the authorities will take whatever excuse they can to deprive you of your property, freedom, etc... Like someone else has said, you can get your whole life pretty much confiscated because of the involvement of drugs.

Personally, being on the Libertarian side of things, I think it's sad that we spend soooooooooooo much money on a drug policy that does not work. Why not spend the money instead on treatment? Why not legalize all the stuff and at least be able to control it? Personally, I'm not gonna go out and get high because it's legal. But I don't like the govt. spending my tax dollars on a failed policy.

[BogBabe]

"Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself."
-- President Jimmy Carter, Message to Congress, August 2, 1977

[Khornet]

I understand. I have one daughter and four boys. My oldest son at 16 drinks, smokes dope, and I shudder to think what else. He has been defiant since he was a toddler. We have tried reason, persuasion, strict and immediate punishment, and physical force. And I don't mean spanking; a strapping kid as tall as you are you don't spank. I mean knocking down. Gradual progression from the first level to the last as the defiance continued. Nothing has worked.

Psychiatric intervention, private school, Christian school, military school, psychiatric/therapeutic school. Last spring he lay in a bed in my ICU with a drug OD. I explained to him how many men I had seen die in that very bed from substance abuse, and graphically how they died. He brushed it off. For him, there is only the crash, the hitting rock bottom, and survivng it or not.

For the other four, it's different. If they were caught, the lecture they got would be enough to make them wiser if not totally clean. But with Brad,I have no hope, and my only consolation is how much we have tried. We have no savings now because of what we've spent on him...but no more. Prayer is all we have. Good luck.

[DeltaElite]

In regards to forfeiture.
Most of what people here is urban legend.
There are instances when overzealous cops sieze items for very small amounts of dope, but where I am that doesn't happen.
As was explained to me by a Sgt that did forfeiture, the cost of the process has to exceed the price of what they are seizing. Which is why they don't do it very often here.
YMMV

The first offense for an adult in my area is diversion, where they sleep through some counseling and promise not to do it again.
Second offense is about a $100 fine.
Third offense, a larger dollar fine.

[Monkeyleg]

If none of the above suggestions work, introduce the kids to former friends of mine who are still tokin' away. All are my age (early fifties). Some had promising careers (sales, and advertising). All are either unemployed or under-employed by choice. A couple of them still live with Mom.

I don't think grass is addictive or particularly dangerous. I do think that, at least in many cases, it makes the user less aggressive. That's fine from a social perspective, but not from an employment/career standpoint. I noticed that effect in myself back in the mid 1970's, and that's why I gave it up.

[doseyclwn]

I don't think grass is addictive or particularly dangerous. I do think that, at least in many cases, it makes the user less aggressive. That's fine from a social perspective, but not from an employment/career standpoint. I noticed that effect in myself back in the mid 1970's, and that's why I gave it up

The idea that grass is not addictive is a lie. I know this from personal experience. It's not addictive for everyone, but then again neither is alcohol.

[Pilgrim]

I once had an opportunity to explain tough love to a immigrant family whose oldest son chose to ignore their values and run on the wild side.

I asked them who cooked the delinquent lad's food, washed his clothes, etc. Their answer was, "His mother."

I suggested that since the lad refused to live by their rules he could cook his own food, wash his own clothes, etc.

It worked for awhile, but the parents' hearts just weren't in it.

[Monkeyleg]

doseyclown, your response may illustrate why my former friends are where they are.

Don't know. I'm not a doctor. What I know about drugs I learned firsthand. :(

[Skunkabilly]

Now I was born late enough to escape the Carter presidency, but I do like that quote.

Me...I dunno. Sit 'em down in front of some Mr. T educational video? "Don't do drugs, suckah!!" :confused: :(

[Baba Louie]

I'm living that pain right now. Girlfriend's 14 year old son has decided to begin a career as an "enlightened" individual. I have been forced to remove ALL of my toys from the house as he now has a habit of breaking into his mother's (and my) bedroom to "take" things to supplement his new-found desires (read stealing from Mom).

Yeah, we lock the door, he does a B&E into bedroom and forces it or pops the window and enters from the outside when he comes home from school and we're at work.

He's also now (I think) inhaling ?Butane? as I've found several empty refill canisters in his bedroom.

Last week I had enough and entered his room forcefully (Actually, I removed the doorknob/latchset). Room reeked. Pipes, papers, baggies...

Little plants growing everywhere. His mom (and certainly not moi) isn't allowed in his room (his rules, she doesn't have any...La la la, live and let live). He wasn't at home.

Hmmmmmm. What to do?

We've had the mano a mano talk about right and wrong, ridin' with the law, not agin it (everything my dad told me) smart and stupid behavior discussions, etc. and here is the evidence, right in front of me.

So... I removed it all. It all went into the trash.

Later on, I had to go to work... he came home and proceeded to lay waste to the bedroom door (his not ours), trashed it (tore it off the hinges) and his room completely and took off for parts unknown.

I want to involve his father. His mom says NO! Too much violence involved.

He just now walked in the front door as he's told his mom he's sick and can't go to school again tomorrow. He's been staying over at another of his buddies house whose mom allows him to do whatever (I found out he told friend's mom that my GF and I were out of town for two weeks and she bought the lie.)

Sigh.

He's P.O.'d at me and threatened me with bodily violence if I ever do that again. I suggested that he and I go have a talk with his father. He said something rude. I suggested counseling. He told me to stuff it.
I found out that he skipped school last Tuesday and was picked up by Metro who held him and buddy till the CCSD Truant office could come relieve them and is supposed to be on "In-House Detention till the Required Parent Conference occurs (scheduled for tomorrow... how timely to be too ill to go to school)

Sigh

He knows all of the guns are out of the house (moving the safe(s) was a bear), the knives also.

A song comes to mind... Bad boyz, bad boyz,...

Nah.

Sigh

I feel my pain. (deeper sigh with a wry grin) Hope its a phase he'll grow out of. He failed the first semester of the 8th grade and it looks like the second might follow.
His mom and dad want to send him to some boot camp thing (remember that his mom has NOT told his Dad all about the "experimentaion", yet)

Sorry this is so long. I read all of the posts, laughed at some, shook my head at others and thought to myself... "He's running out of time, Baba. Somebody's gonna do something that's gonna cheese off a couple of people here, real soon, if he's worth helping" He is. (worth helping, that is. I met him when he was 10 years old. Bright and cool, funny and good looking. Likes sports.)

Adios for now. I may keep ya posted if things turn out ok. Then again, I may not.

[Russ]

Take the dope away from your kid an give them a lecture. Anyone who deliberately gets the involved in their lives for a non-violent and petty offence such as this is an ignorant fool. You ruin your kid with record. You probably get to spend several thousand on an attorney and then you will have some busy body social worker sticking his of her nose into your life for a long time.

If he is violent and is hurting people, call the cops. For smoking weed, give me a break. This is an overreaction.

[Monte Harrison]

For millions of years, human beings have been trying to figure out all the right moves in the proper raising of offspring. We still don't have it right, and I suspect we never will. And unfortunately, it really appears that there are just Good Kids and Bad Kids, and quite often their appearance has 50% or less to do with the parents. Bad people often produce good kids, and good people often produce bad kids. You do what you can. I look at my two little goddesses and know my wife and I are well and truly BLESSED.
The first thing I'd say is that the worst danger of pot is the stupid laws against it. We have had the drug talk with our kids, and this is one of the first things we pointed out. My wife and I all along have been honing the kids' BS detectors, and showing how most of the anti-drug campaigns are disinformation, and how it is hypocritical for the Powers That Be to harp so much on pot when alcohol has destroyed exponentially more lives.
What we have always told them is that anything can kill you if the thing is in control and not you. Conversely, pot, booze etc. will do very little or no damage to you IF YOU ARE NOT STUPID ABOUT IT.

So anyway, back to the scenario: I catch my daughter with marijuana. I would want to know where she got it, just for my own information. If the "pusher" (is that still what dope dealers are called?) is someone outside of my daughter's age group, not in her school, and selling stuff more hazardous than pot to kids, then I send an anonymous tip to the authoritays.
Turning my daughter in would not even be a consideration. A huge over-reaction like this would be extremely damaging, and maybe counterproductive. If there is not a real problem, don't create one.
I would discuss with her what effect the pot had on her, how it felt, what thoughts occurred while under the influence. I would try to get from her whether this was a curious exploration, or if she had been doing it a while, and try to get a sense of how likely it is she is going to try other, more harmful substances, and whether it is a social thing for her, meaning she might be heading into the "drug culture," or just a personal, recreational thing. My actions will (at least try to) be according to the risk of harm. The biggest message I would get accross to her is DON'T BE STUPID. Don't automatically accept what information is given her, either pro or con; wash everything through the BS detector. And get the stuff out of the house. It will stay our secret (hers, mine and her mother's) unless someone else catches her with it, then she will have to take the consequences.

[Felonious Monk]

Baba Louie--

Wow! You're going through the fire with this juvie.
You're right, there IS hope, and he IS worth the effort.

While I am disgusted by the deceitful approach the DARE and ONDCP folks take, I think it's a VERY different thing for a kid to be toking it up versus an adult in a free society.

That kid NEEDS the dad involved in the solution, and needs mom to quit being a blissninny if she wants him to be anything OTHER than a underacheiving stoner the rest of his life! Time for tough love.

Now the BAD news: YOU can probably not initiate this yourself without major relationship damage. You've got to convince Mom to lose the spineless, head-in-the-sand approach and DEAL.

What an adult does in the privacy of his/her home is not comparable to a 14yr old messing with mind-altering substances, whether that substance is alcohol, marijuana, huffing butane, or shooting heroin.

IMHO, boot camp sounds like a good idea, but you're gonna have to get the bio parents to initiate it, or you become the Great Satan.

I'll remember your family when I'm taking my concerns to the Higher Authority.

Regards,
FM

[Delmar]

WWDD? (what would Delmar do?) Two boys-entirely opposite personalities. Boy one likes quiet and likes to read. Boy two is all sports.

1. You are so grounded.
2. You are putting the things l like at risk, such as firearms ownership, so what ever YOU like is gone until I say otherwise.
3. I am going to work your assets until it falls off and I am going to be on you 24/7 until your head returns where it is supposed to be.
4. Not so worried about it mainly because the time to teach and talk is well before the temptation even has a remote chance of happening.
5. I realize how lucky I am not to have such a headstrong basket case as some end up with, and glad I never had to make the call for them to leave my house as there is nothing more I can do.
I'm sure there are parents of infamous criminals who did what they could and made all the right moves to no avail.

[doseyclwn]

We have had the drug talk with our kids, and this is one of the first things we pointed out. My wife and I all along have been honing the kids' BS detectors, and showing how most of the anti-drug campaigns are disinformation, and how it is hypocritical for the Powers That Be to harp so much on pot when alcohol has destroyed exponentially more lives.

I will agree with you wholeheartedly, Monte, except that if you are genetically predisposed to be an addict, that it doesn't matter how smart you are with it. You will still be screwed.

Yes, the anti-drug campaigns (all that I have seen) are stupid and full of disinformation. Occasional use of pretty much anything is not going to screw you up too bad as long as you are smart about it. But if you're an addict, any use is bad.

Of course, my entire position on the matter is based on whether or not you accept the disease model of addiction. I do, and that's based on personal experience with it, which is really outside the scope of this forum.

And of course, there's the point Delmar brought up is that my child is endangering what I enjoy, not just the firearms by such behavior.

[Azrael256]

I'm going to have to go with the time honored method of a good butt-whoopin'. I personally don't believe that the laws against it are valid, but the fact is that it's breaking the law, and smoking pot (at that age... my age, really) tends to associate you with the kinds of people I don't want my kids to be around. Even if it were perfectly legal, I don't think I would react any differently. I see smoking pot the same way I see drinking simply for the purpose of getting drunk. The intent is to become intoxicated in one way or another, which is far more dangerous than just having a few beers while watching the super bowl. I certainly don't want my kids to fall into that sort of addiction.

[Miss Demeanors]

I think its very important to maintain a close relationship with your child, and start before they are teenagers. I think the 'key' is to make your child feel comfortable enough to talk to you about everything, even the bad stuff. The worst thing to do is NAG or LECTURE , especially in the teen years. At that age, they tend to be very rebellious and your self righteous lecture may just backfire. Obviously it won't work with every parent but I do think it is a main key.

I say this from experience. My Mom and I were never really close and all she did was nag (and she still does till this day) and throw a Bible at me. She had good intentions but as a teenager, you don't see things the way you see them when you become a mature adult. I can recall getting caught with pot the first time and instead of just talking with me, she chose to critisize me and lecture me. When that was over, I went out and 'partied' some more. The only difference was that I got better at covering it up (spraying perfume, using visine, etc) just so I wouldn't have to hear her nag. The notion of 'drugs are dangerous' did not occur to me, I had the notion of 'drugs will make your Mother nag'.

What ended it for me? Near death experience! No, it wasn't from pot either. Pot just lead to heavier drugs, always trying to find a better 'high'. I did a whole bunch of coke and later that day took a hit of acid. Why? Because everyone at the party was doing it (a rather common way to think as a teenager). What I felt that night, I wish upon no one, and I am thankful I am still here today. I believe, God gave me a choice that night to live or to die, and I chose to live. Never touched any of that garbage again and was re-assured I made the right choice as I watched a few friends die throughout the years. I realize now what a stupid teenager I was and I made stupid choices. THAT is what I will TALK to my daughter about , God forbid she decides to try drugs. I will not lecture, I will tell her about my experience, in detail, and I will give her facts. The morgue is also an excellent place to take them because fear is the only way to keep them away from drugs.

It also has alot to do with whom they hang around with, if all their buddies are partying, chances are, your kid will too. That age is seeking acceptance and attention and if they don't get enough of it at home, they will get it from their friends. My daughter is only 8 but we have talked about drugs, we have talked about not following your friends in their choices but being able to make your own and she will always ask me questions no matter what, she knows I won't yell at her or get angry. I'd like to sometimes, but I keep in mind what my Mom did and how that didn't work. All I can do is keep a very open line of communication and do my best to make sure she knows that she can talk to me about anything.

I would not call the police on her if I caught her smoking pot, I would sit down and talk with her. I would encourage her to find new friends (which of course doesn't always work). If she had druggie friends then maybe I would try talking to their parents. If she got hooked and headed off to heavier drugs, then I would start to intervene and if I couldn't do it on my own, maybe try a rehab or boot camp, depending on how bad it was. I would do what it would take to save her life, she would probably be upset at that point, but once she is old enough to realize it, she will know I was only doing it for her.

Easier said than done, I know. I , thankfully, have not been through it with her and hope never to go through it, but I am not naive and it could very well happen. My prayers and thoughts go out to those who have children using and that are of control. It's easy to say this from my position , as I am not in yours, but I look back on how it was for me and what I would change. Drugs are scary because you can get hooked just like that and it only leads to a dead end.

I look at my little girl now, and in doing so, that is the ultimate high, she's all I need no matter how bad it gets. My only hope is that she realizes life is the best high and you never really come down. :)

[waterdog]

If you love your kids, and they know it, they listen.

I have 3 adult children, 1 college grad and an officer in the Army, the other two are on the
way to their degrees.

None use drugs, pot included.

I taught them what I believe. Smoking dope, is for stupid people, and doing drugs is for losers.

By the way, I never did drugs either.

waterdog