If Guns Were People... (Fun Thread)


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CmdrSlander
February 3, 2013, 02:50 AM
Guns have their own unique feels or "personalities" - let's link those to the personalities of people...

The Winchester Model 70 is your grandfather, you know the one with the trophy deer over the fireplace.

The M1911 is your very helpful and knowledgeable friend that asks a lot in return for their aid.

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Zardaia
February 3, 2013, 02:53 AM
The AR-15 is your kid. Spoil em and they get expensive fast.

-v-
February 3, 2013, 02:55 AM
The AKM is your dependable friend. You can always count on him to help you move your couch, fix your car, or bury a body! He always wears the same get-up, but it works for him, so he sees no reason to every change.

xxjumbojimboxx
February 3, 2013, 02:57 AM
+1

The Browning Hi Power is like a secret agent. Eloquent, smooth, and attractive, and never gets stuck in a jam!

CmdrSlander
February 3, 2013, 03:07 AM
+1

The Browning Hi Power is like a secret agent. Eloquent, smooth, and attractive, and never gets stuck in a jam!
I don't like the looks of the Hi Power, it seems like a bastardized M1911, though I do appreciate the design and would carry/shoot one.

Zardaia
February 3, 2013, 03:14 AM
I don't like the looks of the Hi Power, it seems like a bastardized M1911, though I do appreciate the design and would carry/shoot one.
Funny just looked at browning high power on wikki...seems like it pretty much IS. Designed after selling the 1911 rights so he had to work around it's patents

CmdrSlander
February 3, 2013, 03:16 AM
Funny just looked at browning high power on wikki...seems like it pretty much IS. Designed after selling the 1911 rights so he had to work around it's patents
Did you know it was originally going to be striker fired but Browning died before he could make sure it was implemented properly so FN switched back to the M1911 style single action exposed hammer design. If you look at the original Hi Power patents, with the striker, you'll see the interplay it has with the pivoting trigger and begin to realized Browning beat Glock to the idea of a "safe action" trigger design.

wankerjake
February 3, 2013, 03:19 AM
Grampa could easily be the Winchester '94. It ain't the next best thing anymore, but is used to be and by God it's classy;)

Killed my first deer with a '94 30-30, and my favorite rifle is a Model 70 that Grampa gifted me. I miss him dearly.

tyeo098
February 3, 2013, 03:42 AM
I guess my CZ75 would be that hot blonde from Czech Republic who speaks in a different language but you aren't really listening to what shes saying, just kind of eying her up.

Mosin Nagants all inherit their spirit from this guy: Viktor Reznov

http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/042/6/e/viktor_reznov_id_2_by_captainreznov-d4pdi7e.jpg

BLB68
February 3, 2013, 04:06 AM
If guns were people, they'd always be shooting off their mouths...


:evil:

Southside830
February 3, 2013, 05:45 AM
A Glock is like a good wife. There might be prettier, newer, better dressed pistols out there but when it really counts you know what your going to grab for. A Glock like a good wife may not be as exciting as other offerings but you take comfort and have confidence in something your so familiar with, and has been dependable and by your side from day 1. :neener:

herkyguy
February 3, 2013, 10:11 AM
Hi Point pistol is a fat chick at the end of a long night of drinking way too much.....

TurtlePhish
February 3, 2013, 10:51 AM
I suppose Mosins are a bit Reznov-y. :D

I see them a bit more like this, sometimes:

I AM GOOD MOSIN RIFLE OF PROUD SOVIET UNION. I AM USE BY SMALL WEAK CONSCRIPT TO MAKE HIM MORE STRONG FOR FIGHT ENEMIES OF REPUBLIC. I HAVE 2000M SIGHT FOR KILL FASCIST PIG FROM FAR AWAY LIKE GLORIOUS SNIPER VASILY ZAITSEV. I NOW AM SOLD TO CAPITALIST TO MAKE GOOD MONEY FOR RUSSIAN FEDERATION THAT IS LESS GLORIOUS THAN SOVIET UNION AND HAVE CHEAP AMMO SO CAPITALIST CAN SHOOT LOT FOR NOT LOT OF RUBLE. I AM CARRY PROUD SOVIET UNION STAR TO REMIND CAPITALIST OF PROUD SOVIET UNION THAT ONCE WAS IN CHILLY WAR WITH CAPITALIST SO CAPITALIST NOT FORGET PROUD SOVIET UNION.

Sol
February 3, 2013, 11:22 AM
Our politicians are like water guns in the hands of kids in summer; annoyingly shooting everyone and pestering them and when they are out of water they are just full of hot air.

2ifbyC
February 3, 2013, 11:43 AM
My Remington .25-06 is on the wild side; it shoots to a different drummer. Oh Deer!:eek:

soonerfan85
February 3, 2013, 11:51 AM
Century old sxs shotguns with Damascus barrels are like us old guys. As The Toby Keith song says "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once, as I ever was".

OptimusPrime
February 3, 2013, 11:59 AM
My Glock 21 is that smart-aleck teenage punk down the street who's always wearing slick goofy trendy clothes and hanging around my daughter. I hate his look, I hate his attitude, I hate that he thinks he's cooler than me.
But dang it, that kid can play a guitar better than Hendrix and as much as I hate him, he plays the sweetest music I've ever heard. I hate him. But I can't find anything better.
P.S. it also stinks that my daughter prefers him too!:cuss:
That's right, my teenage daughter prefers the .45. I guess I'll accept that. :)

bigfatdave
February 3, 2013, 12:03 PM
My M1 carbines are the old guy at work - When you figure out a way to get something done, he calmly tells you he did that ## years ago and has been doing it ever since

My Kel-Tecs are little sneaky circus midgets

Liberty1776
February 3, 2013, 12:06 PM
My family would be Mossberg 500s - Not very fancy but we just keep on working...

meanmrmustard
February 3, 2013, 12:12 PM
The CZ75 is that stylish, classic, elegant woman sipping Mojitos across the bar.

The girl of your dreams. All you have to do is handle her!:cool:

Akita1
February 3, 2013, 12:18 PM
Since you guys have already hit my other stuff:

- My Ruger speed six is like that first girlfriend; never felt anything that smooth before and damn she can sing too!

- My HK USC is that old neighbor who sits on his front porch all day and watches the 'hood; nothing has or will get past him.

berettaprofessor
February 3, 2013, 12:32 PM
The Beretta 92 is that sexy middle-aged MILF; independent, confident, and sleek.:D

And, need I say it, the Beretta 84 is her pouty little 20-year-old college-enrolled daughter. :neener:

And the Beretta PX4 is the ugly half-sister.:what:

2ifbyC
February 3, 2013, 12:49 PM
My Colt Python is like my lawyer; a smooth talker, carries a big price tag, and a is real snake in the grass.

climbnjump
February 3, 2013, 12:53 PM
The Winchester Model 70 is your grandfather, you know the one with the trophy deer over the fireplace.

Same for a Marlin 336. My Grandfather had one and I can't think of one without also thinking of the other.

-v-
February 3, 2013, 01:54 PM
The AR10, LR308, and all the other .308 AR-10 style rifles: They are the smart ripped aisians at school. They all play football, and somehow are also finishing summa cum laude with STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math, for you old folks!) degrees. Even though they all look pretty much the same ethnicity to you, never make the mistake of calling one the other.

bergmen
February 3, 2013, 01:58 PM
The Winchester 1892 is John Wayne.

http://i1322.photobucket.com/albums/u580/Bergmen/Firearms%20and%20Shooting/Misc/JohnWaynewith1892_zps5be170b6.jpg

Dan

MadMonkey
February 3, 2013, 02:48 PM
A .22 - any .22 - is that trusty sidekick who always seems to be there when you need them. Maybe not the slickest, or the strongest, but always eager to help.


Posted from Thehighroad.org App for Android

ThatGuyHank
February 3, 2013, 02:56 PM
The SKS is that foreign lady at the bar you see every now and again, she may be older but clean her up and she's still got thousands of rounds to go.

herkyguy
February 3, 2013, 02:56 PM
My Sig P238 is the perfect girl....compact, perfect lines, great features, and feels good in my hands.

Sam Cade
February 3, 2013, 03:00 PM
And, need I say it, the Beretta 84 is her pouty little 20-year-old college-enrolled daughter. :neener:

berettaprofessor :D

I feel your pain.:D

230RN
February 3, 2013, 03:07 PM
The Springfield 03 is like that old coot veteran down the street who, despite his age, is in better trim than you were at the age of 22.

And looks like he could probably lift 2,820 lbs a foot off the ground.

Terry, 230RN

Turn Key
February 3, 2013, 03:08 PM
My AK is the trusted ole' gal that I can cuss around, get dirty with and at the end of the night she can just be put in the corner and forgotten.

TK

ZeSpectre
February 3, 2013, 03:15 PM
SIG 229 is like an accountant or a bank examiner. Not the most attractive, dressed kinda plain, but very methodical and consistent and you really can't throw them off stride.

Glock is that crazy buddy of yours, you know the one with all the rough edges and scars, the guy who does the "tough mudder" run, headbutts someone in a bar fight, crashes his mountain-bike and still just won't quit.

Marlin leverguns are that old, cranky, farmer at the end of the road. The guy who seems older than dirt but tougher than barbed wire and in spite of being a fussy old cuss he always seems to be able to get the job done.

rugerman
February 3, 2013, 03:17 PM
Your 870 is a true and constant friend, he'll do what is needed and is smooth as hell doing it.

Impureclient
February 3, 2013, 03:32 PM
A Glock is Michael Keaton playing Beetlejuice. Except instead of somebody saying his name 3 times, it only takes 1 time. Then he appears in the autoloader forum.
Then he won't go away and he fills all the threads up with his name until it's a page full of Beetlejuice.

dagger dog
February 3, 2013, 03:38 PM
Why can't it be a canine?

The Ruger 10-22 as your "best friend"

What do you wanna do taday huh huh huh,can we go chasing rabbits huh huh huh?!!!!
C'mon let'sgo huntin' let'sgo huntin' please please please !!!!

Buck Kramer
February 3, 2013, 03:40 PM
My K31 is an old timey boxer, with a handlebar mustache, and a corncob pipe, quick and strong.

SharpsDressedMan
February 3, 2013, 03:43 PM
Sylvester Stallone would be a prop gun.

loose noose
February 3, 2013, 03:56 PM
My auto-5 is the grumpy old Grandpa, that would just as well stay home, but a simple stroll in the woods would be acceptable, providing it don't have too far to go and there are some partridge to shoot.:scrutiny:

cyclopsshooter
February 3, 2013, 03:57 PM
AK is that hot leathery biker chick that you'd never take home to Mom-

PPK is a vindictive ex-wife that bites.

AR is an African American Barbie doll.

Bulgarian Makarov is the fat, hairy, gypsy girl with a cute face that you'd still fancy a roll with. (Goes for Bersas too)

Sylvester Stallone would be a prop gun.

HA!

beatledog7
February 3, 2013, 05:18 PM
If firearms actually had personalities, the more interesting ones would be the pistols, and most of them would prove to be female.

Browning/FN/Beretta BDA 380 is my college semi-girlfriend of "versatile" heritage, gorgeous to look at, easy to talk to, but never completely honest about her history or our relationship. Fun on a date, but not one to whom I'd commit.

Baby Eagle .45 is my buddy's mysterious girlfriend who flirts with me when he's not looking.

Matte stainless CZ-75 is my daughter's mother on a normal day, cool and calculating, capable and reliable when fed properly, and dangerously good looking.

Black CZ-75SA is my daughter's mother on a bad-girl day, ruthless and a little wild, quick to bite and easily provoked, but still dangerously good looking.

A Glock, any Glock, is any of a dozen less-attractive girls I'd have been better off marrying.

Revolvers? I gotta work on them.

SharpsDressedMan
February 3, 2013, 06:20 PM
Sig P210: A swiss beauty, a little older and more mature, slender, well proportioned, and when she moves, everyone notices. When you touch her, you know that you want to be with her, forever. Like a soul mate. Intimate relations are highly sensual, an almost religeous experience. Stroking her at that most tender moment is climactic, and then she bucks and roars, and you know you want more, but alas, you have to pull out, as she is spent, and you must find a way to fill her again. And it begins again. You think that the two of you will be as one, but you got careless, and you looked one way, and she went off in another direction. Hit or miss, you know it was YOUR fault, because she is perfect, and would never let you down. And you know that other men want her, but she is yours.....forever.

Impureclient
February 3, 2013, 07:11 PM
Soooooooo, do they make firearm romantic novels? That Sig210 excerpt has got me wondering. I thought it was going to get X-rated for a second there. :D

sidheshooter
February 3, 2013, 08:20 PM
A Glock is like a good wife. There might be prettier, newer, better dressed pistols out there but when it really counts you know what your going to grab for. A Glock like a good wife may not be as exciting as other offerings but you take comfort and have confidence in something your so familiar with, and has been dependable and by your side from day 1. :neener:


I was going to say almost the exact same thing about the K-Frame S&W! (minus the word "prettier", of course). ;)

MrTwigg
February 3, 2013, 08:31 PM
Saiga 12 gauge;
Russian mail order bride, a cheap date when you first meet her, very expensive once she's gussied up.

OptimusPrime
February 3, 2013, 10:18 PM
I neglected to mention my Taurus 617.
He's my wife's jobless cousin, I didn't invite him in, but there he is. Sitting there taking up space, doesn't do anything and I wouldn't trust him to help anyway. I'd rather he just took it upon himself to take a trip for a gallon of milk and never came back.

230RN
February 21, 2013, 05:28 PM
Remington 512 Sportmaster. A fine old country gal of good breeding, born in upstate New York, yet capable of dealing with woodsy matters all over the country. That long 25" barrel speaks quietly but with authority when she needs to. And she's easy to talk to while reclining on your lap as you sit leaning against a tree waiting for the next bushytail to appear.

Inexpensive to feed and keep, her one piece of jewelry being a gold bead. Good for a day's play in the woods, being capable of holding up to 22 short snacks or 15 goodly repasts without getting hungry again.

And nobody can "own" her; she was born without a serial number.

A good gal to know, smooth of touch and beautifully elegant, yet with a robust country air about her. And with her long, long sight radius, no need for modern beauty enhancements like scopes.

Terry, 230RN

REF:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remington_Model_512_Sportsmaster

Creature
February 21, 2013, 05:37 PM
My pre-64 Winchester '94 in 32WS....is an old uncle who wears tweed, smells of cigar smoke, likes three fingers of good bourbon and drives a sleeper big block-powered 1962 Chevelle sedan rolling on steelies and poverty caps.

FREERANGETIME!
February 21, 2013, 06:07 PM
The Diamondback .380, just like my sisters first husband, not to be relied upon and very rarely works.

Dmath
February 21, 2013, 06:26 PM
The Luger is the sinister, handsome foreign agent in a 1960s spy movie. Smooth devil. In the final scene, just when it looks like he's going to kill our hero, he turns and shoots the real bad guy. Turns out he was on our side all along!

blarby
February 21, 2013, 06:28 PM
Any rifle that shoots .308 Winchester is sister mary rap-your-knuckles.

Some of you may remember her- other may only rue the thought- and so are legends born.

She can hear you thinking of sin at 1000 yards, and she only misses with that 2x4 of a straightedge when the man upstairs judges you worthy- which ain't often.

She makes grown men rouse in the night, screaming of her memory, and even the mention of her memory keeps all the little despots in line.

Teachu2
February 21, 2013, 06:56 PM
My HS .22WMR derringer was like my then GF - short, loud, and uncontrollable...

sleepyone
February 21, 2013, 10:58 PM
A Glock is like a good wife. There might be prettier, newer, better dressed pistols out there but when it really counts you know what your going to grab for. A Glock like a good wife may not be as exciting as other offerings but you take comfort and have confidence in something your so familiar with, and has been dependable and by your side from day 1.

Southside830, I hope your wife does not read this! :what:

sleepyone
February 21, 2013, 11:10 PM
A "Wilma" Combat or "Edna" Brown is like that drop-dead, gorgeous beauty queen you fell head over heels for at first sight and just had to have but upon acquiring her you discovered you severely overspent and could have had your every whim and desire completely satisfied by her younger and hotter sister; "Leslie" Bear.

justice06rr
February 21, 2013, 11:22 PM
The AKM is your dependable friend. You can always count on him to help you move your couch, fix your car, or bury a body! He always wears the same get-up, but it works for him, so he sees no reason to every change.

+100000 on this

The AK is a dependable, low-maintenance, but fun friend to have. Always up for a good time and not picky on what it eats.

May not be the best looking friend (gun), and sometimes looked down upon and misunderstood, but it has withstood the test of time. Does not always need those expensive high-end accesories like your other rich stuck-up friends (AR15's).

justice06rr
February 21, 2013, 11:30 PM
I would say that a M&P pistol is like a pretty young chick thats new on the block. Has not been around too long but has slowly gained popularity. All-American, not like some Eastern European girl from Austria who thinks she's perfect when obviously they're not.

A Mosin Nagant is that old friend you know that has been around for a while, always willing to help, reliable, and is not expensive to hangout with. Even if you don't call or hangout with this person for a while, once you call him he's ready to go and does not whine or complain!

Indifferent
February 22, 2013, 01:40 AM
Smith and Wesson 642, semi clean cut office staff, there to get the job done, doesn't care about office politics.

MachIVshooter
February 22, 2013, 01:48 AM
Remington 700 is the tall, stoic, well-dressed gentleman who doesn't say much, but when he does speak, it's succinct, correct and respected. The Winchester model 70 is the slightly shorter version of him.

BigBore44
February 22, 2013, 02:23 AM
My 1895 45-70 is like my 6'4" 290 lb best friend. And my stainless 7.5 SBH 44 mag is his little brother. Always there. Always reliable. And when we go places, if there's trouble, we don't lose.

HERE COMES THE BOOM!!

sawdeanz
February 22, 2013, 12:18 PM
A revolver is like your childhood bestfriend but nobody understands why you guys are together. You should've have moved on when you went off to college or got a job, but you always manage to catch up every once and a while. He only has like 5 or 6 stories to tell but they make you laugh every time. Though his jokes may be dated, you know that he is of a higher caliber than any other "bud."

thepumpfaction
February 22, 2013, 01:10 PM
Glock-the young attractive guy with a lot of money and 0 personality.
Ak and variants- Old man of from eastern Europe. Smells of hard work, potato, cabbage, and vodka. Very friendly, but will kill a bear with his hands.
AR-15- that guy that thinks he's better than everyone else. Everything he owns is "tactical"
Sawed off sxs- Your old Sicilian neighbor. You know the one. The guy in the wife beater undershirt, black socks, sandals, and suspenders. Probably tending to his tomato garden.
single action revolver-your awesome grandpa
1911- your even more awesome grandpa
Rem 870- The farmer with 3 kids, a wife, a tractor, and a golden retriever.

BigDaddyNEB
February 22, 2013, 01:39 PM
The Marlin 60 is the old dog on the porch that finds everything the young dogs ( 10/22 ) pass by....

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