You Know You're A Gun Nut If...


February 3, 2003, 08:28 PM
Got this in the mail in an American Handgunner subscription advertisement (I already subscribe, thank you)...

You Know You're A Gun Nut If...

-You see footage of the war in Afghanistan and wish you were there to pick up brass.

-You understand S&W model numbers.

-You can't recall how many firearms you own.

-You and your new father-in-law go to a gun show on your wedding day.

-You have guns in your safe that you can't, for the life of you, remember how you came by them.

-You identify the gun on the cover of the new Dillon catalog before you notice the girl.

-You put a Hogue grip on your car's parking brake handle.

-You have to run to the range this weekend to shoot because you need some brass to reload.

-You buy a gun at a local gunshop and discover you used to own it.

-You're still reading this list!

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February 3, 2003, 08:37 PM
Guilty as charged.:neener: :neener:

Gary H
February 3, 2003, 08:44 PM
"Not now honey.. I'm reloading"

Bob Locke
February 3, 2003, 08:52 PM
-You identify the gun on the cover of the new Dillon catalog before you notice the girl.
Not a chance.

I don't know who that raven-haired beauty is on the most recent cover, but she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

I can buy the rest of the list, though!

February 3, 2003, 08:54 PM
...this is your third (or more) visit to THR today, and it's only 6PM....

February 3, 2003, 09:07 PM
You've been on THR so long that you think it's only 6:00pm, but your post clearly says 7:54pm. :neener:

February 3, 2003, 09:21 PM
-Your friends stop asking you to goto any movie involving any trace of gun ("Oh- that looks like a Colt M1991A1 .45! Ooh ooh! there's a Garand!")
-You get stressed out everytime you goto Wal Mart because of their small firearm selection

Mike Irwin
February 3, 2003, 09:26 PM
Oh crap...

I'm a gun nut...

February 3, 2003, 09:31 PM
Where I get that Hogue grip for my parking brake handle?

February 3, 2003, 09:51 PM
You know you're a gun nut when:

Your friend the Hog-Rider stops by on his way to the rally, and offers you some chain grease to keep your hair down, and you say, "No thanks, some Cosmoline!"

zzzzzzzzz--*Snrk!!* "Huh?!? Mah hair!!"



Standing Wolf
February 3, 2003, 09:54 PM
You've got dies for cartridges you don't have guns for.

February 3, 2003, 09:57 PM
You know your a gun nut when,

Your friends and family call you by your internet user name instead of your real one.

Right, Skunk! :neener: :what: :neener:

February 3, 2003, 10:38 PM
OK, I'll play:

You're a gun nut if:

Both you and your best man were packin' a concealed weapon at your last wedding. (Add extra points to the score if the minister was packin'. Add even more points if the bride was packin'.)

February 3, 2003, 10:52 PM
I freely admit I am a Gun-nut. As proof I offer this web site so you all can see my latest accessory from Hogue.

:D :neener:

February 3, 2003, 11:34 PM know the blue book price on every S&W Wesson revolver ever made

February 3, 2003, 11:38 PM know the blue book price on every S&W Wesson revolver ever made
Sounds like that Mike Irwin fella'.:D :neener: :D

February 3, 2003, 11:43 PM
To a google search for "You might be a gun nut if" and you get some longer versions.

Looks like some were contributed to this particular list by some TFL/THRers ...

February 3, 2003, 11:43 PM
You call in sick from work to clean brass and reload.

February 3, 2003, 11:44 PM
You pay six dollars to go to the gun show so you can save a buck and a half on ammo.;)

Kenneth Lew
February 3, 2003, 11:54 PM
You drive 200 miles to pickup a gun you purchased from someone on the internet sight unseen.

Kenneth Lew

Mike Irwin
February 4, 2003, 12:01 AM
How about there are handguns in your kitchen "tools" drawer?

You pull change out of your pocket and brass and/or loaded rounds come with the coins?

You refuse an invitation to dinner because you have to clean your guns?

All you want for Christmas goes BANG!

February 4, 2003, 12:01 AM go to the gun show and everybody knows your name.
...your kids KNOW they'll get ammo for Christmas.
...your wife doesn't even ask where you were on "range night" know all the ranges for 50 miles and their operation schedule. have ten friends who know they can call on short notice and get a shooting partner tonight.
You didn't even know all this stuff about yourself...but its true.

February 4, 2003, 02:19 AM
if you and your future wife (now Ex fiance ) spend quality time with her and her son at the gun show on saturday .. your unemployed and sell your brass for a gun that you don't own to help pay the bills ( I knew they would come in handy !!:) ) the knob on your tumbler is a old 8 mm lebel case :rolleyes:

February 4, 2003, 02:49 AM
...if you calculate how much you saved by its worth in ammunition.

Ralph's guy. "You saved 4.15"
Me: "Sweet, that's like...40 rounds of 9mm!!!"

Jim March
February 4, 2003, 03:01 AM

I win.

When your local newspaper publishes an item titled "Sheriff says 'gun nut' concealing the truth - Being in the Posse doesn't guarantee weapons permit" and it's ABOUT YOU, you're officially a gun nut.


Yes, this really happened. To me.


February 4, 2003, 06:36 AM keep your Breakfree in the same cabinet with the Malt-O-Meal and baked beans.....:D

Kahr carrier
February 4, 2003, 07:41 AM

February 4, 2003, 08:28 AM
You tell Elmer Keith your latest idea for a wildcat and he says, "You're crazy!"

You think a revolver in .460 Weatherby Magnum, "Sounds like fun."

You make $30 an hour at your job and you spend 30 minutes at the range making sure you got all the 9MM brass you shot.

You pick up empty Wolf cases because, "Hey, it's Boxer primed."

You think a .585 Nyati is, "adequate.":what:

And the beat goes on ...:D

February 4, 2003, 09:51 AM
Your idea of a Christmas movie is "Die Hard".

You notice an officer at the next table in the cafeteria is carrying a SIG and you compliment his choice of weapon.

During the July 4th parade, as the Marine Color Guard passes by, you wonder how they chromed the bolts on their '03 Springfields and whether you can get that done at your local custom car shop.

February 4, 2003, 10:29 AM
You are at a Pro Sporting Event, the Color Guard is from several branches of Armed Service, and you look to see what rifles they are carrying....

[But I still can't top Mr. March' entry in this contest..............

Heavy *sigh*]

February 4, 2003, 11:26 AM
You are happy just doing presentations with your handgun without firing it, just because.......:neener:

February 4, 2003, 11:36 AM
From what I have seen on this board from other members, the only reason Jim is topping the rest of us is only because he was caught!

February 4, 2003, 12:10 PM
You know you are a gun nut when everybody who knows you knows the only place I go on my day off is the range, gunshops or gunshows. I knew I was getting bad when I only buy ammo by the case. Last show I went to I walked out with 2 cases of Portugese 308 and 2 cases of 9MM.

I really knew I was an "official" gun nut when my dealer called me that one day by accident.

PS all my family and friends call me Bert after the character in Tremors.

February 4, 2003, 02:14 PM
Here's a list of gun nut jokes I've been assembling over the years.

If your gun collection is valued at more than your 401K retirement plan, you just might be a gun nut.

If you know that the "unique" custom-type bedding block system on the new SIG-Sauer SHR 970 synthetic sport rifle was used by R. Reger of Konigsberg Germany in 1937, and by A. Francotte of Liege Belgium in the early 1930's, you just might be a gun nut. {Named Fredd!}

If you cancel travel plans to go and visit your oldest and closest friends because you just found out there is a gun show that weekend, you just might be a gun nut.

If you ever went grocery shopping with your last 20 dollars till payday and bought 3 gun magazines and some coffee, forgoing the bread, milk and eggs your wife told you to get, you just might be a gun nut.

If the people on SIG-L know more about you than all 9 of your sisters, you just might be a gun nut.

If seeing Bill Clinton's picture automatically sends you into Condition Red, you just might be a gun nut. (Or possibly just someone who doesn't like lecherous, dirty old men and liars!)

If the last truly sensitive, intimate and emotionally open conversation you had with your wife, was on the merits of the 7mm STW cartridge, you just might be a gun nut.

If you think HCI stands for "Hi Caps Installed" or is a new type of "High Concussion Incendiary" ammo, you just might be a gun nut.

If you go to three different gun shows within a month and your excited every single time, you just might be a gun nut.

If you watch La Femme Nikita just to see the weapons, especially the suppressed H&K MP5s, you just might be a gun nut.

If your wife and you argue over who gets to carry the SIG 225 during the summer months, you just might be a gun nut.

you have Colt tattooed on one hand's fingers and 1911 tattooed on the other hand.

ammo importers call you asking if there is anything you are looking for.

you call tell the caliber of a cartridge case just by its sound hitting the floor.

your kids know all the fast food places with in 5 miles of all the local gun shops and ranges.

you named your twins Win and Chester.

when someone mentions a Remington bronze, you ask when they made cannons and it's bore size.

you know the formula of Ed's Red by heart.

you have a pepper popper at the end of your drive.

your doorbell plays a burst of machinegun fire.

your home owners insurance would be cancelled if the underwriter knew just how much ammo/gun powder/primers you have stored.

your gun safe cost more than your newest car.

if you sold your gun stuff, you could buy the top of the line Rolls Royce for cash and get your change in Land Rovers.

the FBI's crime lab calls you for advise.

when asked, on your wedding day, if it was the happiest day of your life you say, "No, that was when I shot Distinguished."

you go on a month's tour of Europe and American ammo companies have to have lay offs.

your car never gets inside the 2 car garage due to the buckets of wheel weights and lead ingots stored there.

February 4, 2003, 02:23 PM
You're a gun nut, or just plain nuts, if you turn down job offers in states which do not allow your guns in that state.

February 4, 2003, 02:44 PM
if you turn down job offers in states which do not allow your guns in that state.
Hops, in the above case, I'd call you sensible.

February 4, 2003, 02:50 PM
You know you're a gun nut if you number your carry handgun's magazines and rotate them in and out of service based on mags 1, 2, and 3 are your when you buy mag 4, mag 1 gets to "rest" unloaded...when mag 5 comes along, mag 2 gets to take a break out of circulation...a sixth mag means mag 3 goes out of service...then 1 comes back in and 4 takes a break...maybe a month or two "off-duty" for each one...

...not that I have any idea what I'm talking about or have ever done anything like that...ahem...

...and maybe you even make sure every time you load up for carry that a "fresh" round is going in the chamber, being sure to not just re-chamber the same round day after day...

...again, that's just purely hypothetical...:)

February 4, 2003, 02:53 PM
You're a gun nut, or just plain nuts, if you turn down job offers in states which do not allow your guns in that state.

I just call myself a concerned civil libertarian.

To quote another member of our community, name withheld ;) :
"I'd give up the unimaginable to be with her. I wouldn't give up my guns...but I'd give up sex!"

February 4, 2003, 07:03 PM
You know you're a gun nut if you purchase a Fobus paddle holster for a Glock 30 and don't yet have the Glock 30!

Kahr carrier
February 5, 2003, 06:28 AM
If your phone number is all calibers.:D

February 5, 2003, 09:54 AM
.. when you try to collect guns in a state that actively discourages gun ownership (ahem ahem)..


February 5, 2003, 01:05 PM
You Know You're A Gun Nut If...

The letters 'T,' 'F,' and 'L' mean anything to you.

Bonus points if they mean enough to bring a sigh to your lips or a tear to your eye. ;)

Freedom in theSkies
February 5, 2003, 02:54 PM
You open your own gun shop, so you can get deals on everything...:cool:
Your shooting buddies all work there so they can get deals too..:what:

February 6, 2003, 02:41 AM
If you got yelled at by the Bride at the wedding for opening your tux for the photog to white balance the camera and your shoulder holster and PPKS flashed the front row


You can't remember the name of people from the gun match, but you remember the make of pistol and holster they carry at the match!

February 6, 2003, 03:18 AM
If your bedroom looks like this....:what:

February 6, 2003, 09:56 AM
Actualy, my uncle and I have a .22 pistol that we have traded back and forth so many times, that neither of us can say for sure who owns it!!

February 6, 2003, 10:03 AM
You're a gun nut, or just plain nuts, if you turn down job offers in states which do not allow your guns in that state.

Sounds eminently sensible to me.

Would you move someplace that required you to, say, sell every green article of clothing you owned? You wouldn't move to someplace that had such silly nonsensical laws? Well, I wouldn't move anyplace that told me "You gotta sell your black guns, but your brown ones are okay." Odds are pretty good that if they have a law that dumb on guns, they'll have a few dozen (or few hundred) more dumb ones, and a crazy income tax, too.

Carlos Cabeza
February 6, 2003, 12:49 PM
Yep Shuey, I think you'd qualify...........:what:

If the Shuey fits........ WEAR IT !!!!! Molon Labe !!!!!:D

February 6, 2003, 02:12 PM
Carlos, I hate to let you down but, it's not my bedroom.. :(

I wish.. ;)

February 6, 2003, 02:31 PM
You might be a Beretta nut if you memorize Ernest Langdon's phone number.

You might be an HK nut if you memorize HK's phone number (703) 450-1900, and then the touchtone sequence to get you to customer service so you can ask when the heck they're selling the P2000. "In a few weeks."

February 6, 2003, 02:47 PM
-Withdrawl symptoms from not being able to get online.
-Withdrawl symptoms from not getting to go shoot.
.It snows on your first free day since school starts and you shoot in the snow.
-Your online at school and check email...5 out of 6 messages are gun related.
-Instructor walks into lab and sees you checking email and exclaims " hey email me Brownell's addy...along with your project notes [gonna be a good semester ;) ]
-you have ammo in calibers for which you have no guns for.
-Holsters for guns you don't have.
-A classmate offers to swap a box of 45 ACP for gas money until payday.[I loaned $ instead]
-You borrow brother's laptop and he now has some new site's bookmarked.
-you change brothers "user picture" to a .357 Revolver :D
-change his wifes to a J frame
-change nephews to a 10/22
-neice's to a Red Ryder BB Gun
- You Dry Fire your Gun as you do your homework.
-"Way of the Gun" and" Last Man Standing "are background noise at 3 in the morning while finishing a lab project.

February 6, 2003, 03:37 PM
-The big selling point for your domicile was "You can shoot in the back yard."

-Your biggest criteria in selecting a firearms is "When they finally decide to lock me up and do my 'Junk on the Bunk' display, I want my fellow gun nuts to look at the pictures and cry..."


El Tejon
February 6, 2003, 04:27 PM
Let's see:

--you turn down a gig at a white shoe firm in a city that will not allow the commoners to own or firearms for a public service gig where you can own and carry whatever you what;

--your schoolmates e-mail you photos of their trips to some exotic land, you e-mail them about your last trip to Gunsite in the exotic land of Arizona;

--one of the reasons you open your own shoppe in that you can finally sneak off to the range in the afternoon without explaining yourself.

February 6, 2003, 05:01 PM
you start the clean out phase when you sell the house and have brass for guns you wouldn't want to own ! ... Does anyone here reload ,40Short and wimpy .380's??? all you pay is shipping ! and why do I have 2 boxes of clays ?? I don't even own a shotgun!:uhoh: :scrutiny:

February 6, 2003, 08:52 PM
If you trip over a case of ammo in your rec room

If you lose sleep & in a funk for days because you found a spot
of rust in the slot of a S&W 27 sideplate screw.

If you got a knot on your head from picking up brass & walking
into a column.

If you buy store brand groceries to use the savings for a gun.


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