What car gun would deal with this problem?


April 22, 2004, 01:15 PM
From CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/europe/04/22/amorous.rhino.reut/index.html):

Rhino gets amorous with car

Thursday, April 22, 2004 Posted: 9:16 AM EDT (1316 GMT)


LONDON, England (Reuters) -- A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car.

Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park.

The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit.

"He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Alsop told the Sun newspaper on Thursday.

"He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he's banging away at the car and it's rocking like hell."

A spokeswoman for the park, which says "rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals" on its Web site, said Sharka was a hit with the female rhinos and had fathered two calves in the last five years.

"He's got a bit of a reputation this lad and he was obviously at it again," she added.

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Whole Hog
April 22, 2004, 01:34 PM
A Super Soaker filled with cold water?

April 22, 2004, 01:37 PM
Obviously he is just misunderstood,,,, put on your raincoat and open the window, and let him continue. He does not mean to hurt you :eek: :eek: :eek:

Bart Noir
April 22, 2004, 02:42 PM
Worst faked picture I've seen in a long time.

Bart Noir

AJ Dual
April 22, 2004, 02:48 PM
The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side

A Renault? Ewww.......

.458 Lott maybe? For the Renault I mean.

April 22, 2004, 03:04 PM
Yeah, those floating hearts are a dead giveaway.


I don't think the supersoaker would work very well. I think you'd need something more like:


Whole Hog
April 22, 2004, 03:10 PM
Yeah, but better the Super Soaker in your hand than the fire hose at home.

April 23, 2004, 03:50 AM
Well, driving away certainly seems to be more effective than a .375 H&H. (http://www.thefiringline.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1229187&postcount=29)

Night Guy
April 23, 2004, 04:13 AM
I think I've been through that park. I didn't get to see that attraction. Or should I say, "ride?"

April 23, 2004, 08:13 AM
At the moment I live about two miles away from there. Didn't hear the screaming. Haven't been there for ages but might go soon, they have just bought in four white lions.


rhino horn = aphrodisiac qualities - apparently not for those visitors.

April 23, 2004, 11:24 AM
I think maybe a sling shot would do the trick. You just have to hit him in the vitals if you know what I mean. I am sure that would convince him to find someone else.

What had to have been really funny was the reactoin when he turned in the quote for the body damage to his insurance company. I bet they didn't know how to figure that one out. :what:

April 23, 2004, 11:34 AM
Triad, I'm gonna get you for that... :D

As for the insurance claim:

CLAIMS ADJUSTER: "So, tell me, how did that hole get in the rear door?"

DRIVER: "Well, there was this amorous rhinoceros..."

CLAIMS ADJUSTER: "Oh, come on - tell me the truth, or I'll void the claim!"

DRIVER: "But there are witnesses!"

CLAIMS ADJUSTER: <Sighs> "My mother told me there'd be days like this..."


April 23, 2004, 11:42 AM
St Johns...

Is that the park that's north of London?

April 23, 2004, 11:47 AM
No, it's in Bewdley in the Midlands, about 20 miles south-west of Birmingham.

I tried to include a picture of the white lions earlier, pretty stunning things. Anyway, here is the link (http://www.wmsp.co.uk/cgi-bin/WebObjects/WMSP.woa/wo/

April 23, 2004, 04:11 PM
Rhino. Renault. Could be. Rhinos ain't too bright. And, since female rhinos look like...er...rhinos, maybe a Renault looked darn fine.

If we could only get them to go after RINOs. except most of them are in BMWs...WAIT!

Rhino=poorly designed Elephant.

RINO=faint resemblance to Republican.

:evil: :D

I love stream of consciousness...

(They've never ACTUALLY booted someone for bad puns, have they?)


April 23, 2004, 05:10 PM
Not yet.

But yer pushin' it, buddy! :fire:



Shanghai McCoy
April 23, 2004, 05:24 PM
Is there such a thing as GOOD puns?

April 23, 2004, 10:36 PM
Well, that all depuns... :neener:

Shanghai McCoy
April 23, 2004, 11:08 PM
OY! And from a moderator we get this....:uhoh:

April 24, 2004, 06:04 AM
Preacherman, one of the perils of telling good stories is that people remember them.:p

April 24, 2004, 10:26 AM
That's a rhino after my own heart. I don't like the French, either.

April 24, 2004, 06:47 PM
Now Sturmruger I don't mean to insult your intelligence but... If you were in a renault & a rhino was banging away"lets remeber he weighs more than the car" & your gonna hit him in the nads:what: ! Thats a good way to be turned into a piece of crushed tinfoil with blood oozing out:D

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