[Moparmike]

http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl/05_av/bush_generator/index.php

My favorite:
George W. Bush rigged the 2000 election so that big corporations, Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, white men, SUV owners, the Christian Coalition, and gun owners could invade The United Nations.Well, if it takes a rigged election to get the UN out of the US, I suppose that I can overlook it just this once. As long as I get to participate as a gun owner.:D

[MeekandMild]

George W. Bush caused the Cubs to lose to the Marlins in Game 7 of the National League Championship Series so that the Jews, SUV owners, and oil companies could steal from The French. Makes sense to me. :D

But what about the NRA? You know they are behind most of the conspiracies.

[fjolnirsson]

George W. Bush allowed 9/11 to happen so that The Jews, big corporations, oil companies, Republicans, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, white men, SUV owners, the Christian Coalition, and gun owners could invade The French.


LOL!
:D

[TheBluesMan]

George W. Bush had Michael Jackson arrested so white men and the Jews could steal from welfare recipients.

George W. Bush invaded Iraq so that gun owners could invade The United Nations. (If only it were true...)

[Elmer Snerd]

I like the footnote: This tool may not be used to create Democratic presidential candidate speeches or generate content for MoveOn.org without the express permission of Buttafly.com. :D :D

[tyme]

GWB can't run the country very well, and someone expects me to believe he's involved in these diabolical conspiracies?

[Indepbias]

You guys can't be serious ... lol lol ...


Bush is not my favorite by a stretch .. I think he is a arrogant guy, that does things his way and his way only ...

[RED-DOG 40]

....."George W. Bush had Michael Jackson arrested so that white men, SUV owners, and gun owners could kill liberals."


........:D .......:uhoh: .......:D

[Skunkabilly]

George W. Bush allowed 9/11 to happen so that oil companies, white men, and SUV owners could oppress minorities.

:evil:

[dustind]

George W. Bush lowered taxes so that white men, SUV owners, and gun owners could upset Michael Moore.

That is too cool.

[mrapathy2000]

Arrogant? what you mean like an American? or something else?

[7.62FullMetalJacket]

I always think of him as humble. Arrogant? Nah.

[c_yeager]

GWB can't run the country very well, and someone expects me to believe he's involved in these diabolical conspiracies?

You do point out kind of a funny thing though. So many people i have talked to charge that the president is BOTH incompetant AND some kind of criminal mastermind. Without even examining the facts it's plain bad logic.

[wingedmonkey]

You do point out kind of a funny thing though. So many people i have talked to charge that the president is BOTH incompetant AND some kind of criminal mastermind. Without even examining the facts it's plain bad logic.
Or just typical liberal stupidity.

[Sean Smith]

George W. Bush rigged the 2000 election so that Ann Coulter and SUV owners could steal from The French.

[c_yeager]

I'm still trying to figure out when SUV owners got to be the "bad guys". That one kinda snuck up on a lot of people i think. It's a good thing though, the more enemies the liberals can make the better for us.

[dustind]

I am sort of disappointed that I am the only one that posted an anti Michael Moore conspiracy theory.

[WingZero]

I wish my conspiracy was real....

George W. Bush invaded Iraq so that oil companies, white men, and gun owners could conquer liberals.

:D

[RealGun]

I'm still trying to figure out when SUV owners got to be the "bad guys". That one kinda snuck up on a lot of people i think. It's a good thing though, the more enemies the liberals can make the better for us.

SUV ownership, since it is quite popular, is the poster boy for wasting gasoline, gluttony in general, which works against Fed initiatives to reduce dependence on foreign oil, which necessitates an aggressive foreign policy to protect oil supplies. In effect, one could argue that the war in Iraq is about the right to drive an SUV.

Note that if one drives a diesel, it could be considered politically correct, and there is a tax incentive by way of a fuel deduction. At least there was when I owned a diesel in the 1980s. I haven't purchased a new vehicle since 1986, but if I did, it would be a turbo-diesel. Ford has a new V6 that deserves attention.

Setting aside freedom of choice, there are lots of reasons not to drive an SUV, especially a big one when it isn't really needed. The big joke is why people think they need these things (or extensive gun collections). National gluttony and unholy efforts to maintain our standard of living via foreign policy and military action is a good argument from other countries.

I know this belongs in a different thread, but I decided to respond where the question was posed.

[M1911Owner]

Then again, there are some positive reasons to own an SUV:

1. All the kids fit inside.

2. You don't have to put on chains going over the Donner Pass when it's snowing.

3. A friend's wife, while driving their Suburban, was rear-ended by a Toyota Corolla. The Toyota was totalled. There was no damage to the Suburban. And, most importantly, the only damage to her was that she spilled her soda.

[7.62FullMetalJacket]

The SUV/Truck argument is just another class warfare gig. They are safer, period. Freedom of choice while we still have it.

[Third_Rail]

Safer only if you're hitting a smaller car.

Two SUVs of the same model and make will do horrible against eachother, while two small cars of the same model and make will both have the occupants coming out alive (most of the time)

[Smoke]

The Toyota was totalled. There was no damage to the Suburban.

This logic is being used by the Anti-SUV crowd into saying SUV's are unsafe. They may be safer for the driver of the SUV but not for the other guy. (Too bad)

Safer only if you're hitting a smaller car...Two SUVs of the same model and make will do horrible against eachother,

I'll play the odds.

Thanks,

Smoke

[Third_Rail]

That's pretty harsh to say.

I simply can't afford an SUV in terms of gasoline, I can't even own a new rifle.

I have a tiny little Toyota, but I'd like a big truck.

I guess by your logic it's my fault if I get smashed up by an SUV, since I could've bought one. :scrutiny:

[7.62FullMetalJacket]

Sometimes life just ain't fair ;)

I have a lifetime of knowledge in my head. I use this knowledge to earn a living. I have dependents that rely on me to earn a living. I make a good living. I drive a big evil diesel truck so that I keep on living.

It is all a matter of insurance and odds.

[Third_Rail]

Haha, I'm only 17, though, so how can I do anything better, you know?

We'll see what happens in the future, but for now, my opinion stands.

[7.62FullMetalJacket]

You are young and immortal. Drive defensively and maintain your car. Someday I bet you, too, can own the proper protection. :p

[Third_Rail]

Haha!

I swear, I'm going to one-up SUV and truck owners and buy a corolla and get it armored.

[M1911Owner]

That could work.

[7.62FullMetalJacket]

I am not so sure about that. The underlying structure will fail if you have a 6,800 lb truck slicing through. The diesel engine itself probably weighs more the the car :D

A better idea would be to make it swoopy so that it is shaped like a ramp.

[dustind]

In effect, one could argue that the war in Iraq is about the right to drive an SUV. Now that is an absurd stretch. By your logic you must support terrorism twice as much as me because I ride a motorcycle.


Small economy cars hitting luxury cars will not fair very well. I suggest at least a midsized if you worry about saftey.

If anyone did care about saftey, and not whining about what others are doing. They would get five point harnesses and a roll cage. They fit inside cars just fine, are comfortable, and can really save your butt in a nasty accident, but the anti SUV croud does not actually care about saftey.

[Iain]

Do you guys have MPV's or 'People Carriers'? Kinda like SUV's in that they are big and eat fuel.

Watched a crash test between a new Renault MPV (gets Euro NCAP 5* rating for safety - highest) and a ten year old Renault MPV (pre NCAP)

Head on collision, drivers side to drivers side each car doing 35mph. Results were stunning. The new MPV did not even fire its air bags and damage was confined to engine space. They used electronic crash test dummies and no major injuries would have occurred. The old MPV was a complete mess and the driver would have been killed as the footwell in front of his seat no longer existed, it was now full of engine.

So if you are interested in safety buy a new car :scrutiny: or don't get in a crash with a new one if you insist on driving an old one :scrutiny:

[RealGun]

Big SUVs when used as cars are conceptually illegal and get by on the technicality that they are classified as trucks with different standards. All the other new models have to meet higher gas mileage standards.

If safety were really an issue (yeah, it's for the children), then a lower center of gravity than an SUV or van would be in order. The need for four wheel drive in an urban vehicle is in question, because it typically raises the center of gravity of the vehicle.

I think the SUVs are just a reaction to seriously big cars being phased out because of government gas mileage restrictions on car manufacturers. Looked at a Cadillac or Lincoln lately? The point is so well made that Lincolns are being discontinued. What happens when the loophole closes (it will)?

The most controversial one that I know of is the Chrysler PT Cruiser, classified as a truck, failing to meet mileage standards for a car that general size.

This is far from new and all based upon incentives to conserve resources, not to mention improve air quality.

When I say "one could argue", I don't necessarily mean I am proposing such an argument. I'm just saying in all seriousness where some might go with these issues. Thus one could argue that driving a big SUV is in some way unpatriotic or un-American, certainly uncooperative with or disrespectful of initiatives intended for the benefit of our nation's society.

All I can say is that higher fuel prices or rationing are not inconceivable in the near future. I wouldn't want to be stuck with something that uses more gas than really needed for basic transportation. If I had a big SUV or an unnecessary truck, I would sell it.

Some of this is why Kerry tried to duck the issue of his family owning an SUV.

[iapetus]

Back on topic:

George W. Bush had Michael Jackson arrested so that the Christian Coalition and big corporations could conquer transgendered people.


And, using the custom (rather than random) generator, here's one I'm sure you'd wish was true:

George W. Bush lowered taxes so that gun owners could conquer Michael Moore.

[BHPshooter]

George W. Bush gave Iraq reconstruction contracts to his friends so that big corporations could offend The French.

:D That's great.

Wes

[DMK]

George Bush, SUV owners and French cars invade Gun owner's forum and cause oppressive thread veer

OK, I made that one up. :D

[ReadyontheRight]

"Fuel Economy Standards Kill, Not Sports Vehicles

The federal Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) standards -- mandated to reduce gasoline usage -- have resulted in lighter cars. They have also resulted in less safe cars and between 2,000 and 4,000 additional traffic fatalities a year, experts report.

But the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration continues to defend the CAFE standards, repeatedly claiming they have no safety effect. Several years ago, a panel of federal appeals judges blasted NHTSA's position as "fudged analysis," "statistical legerdemain," and "bureaucratic mumbo- jumbo."

Since CAFE standards for light trucks are considerably more lenient than those for ordinary passenger cars, consumers have flocked to sports utility vehicles (SUVs) -- which are considered light trucks and are heavier and safer. But critics are out to get SUVs, according to auto industry observers.

The current CAFE standard for passenger cars is 27.5 miles per gallon -- while the standard for light trucks is 20.7 mpg.

CAFE-induced downsizing -- which has reduced the weight of the average car by about 500 pounds -- has increased car occupant fatalities by between 14 percent and 27 percent, according to a 1989 study from Harvard University and the Brookings Institution.

Although SUV critics contend those heavier vehicles pose a threat to the lives of motorists in typical passenger cars, a study issued last month by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety reported that collisions between cars and SUVs account for only 4 percent of car occupant fatalities.

Paradoxically, a NHTSA report last year found that a 100 pound increase in passenger car weight would save 500 lives a year -- while a 100 pound decrease in SUV weight might prevent 40 fatalities a year, which the report called not statistically significant.

Environmentalists and the Clinton administration are adamantly opposed to lowering CAFE standards. So the fatalities continue.

Source: Sam Kazman (Competitive Enterprise Institute), "Large Vehicles are the Solution, Not the Problem," Wall Street Journal, March 12, 1998."

Also -- If you're worried about large vehicles smashing up your little two-door fuel-efficient Speck, or if you're worried that we are "fighting a war for oil", what's your plan to eliminate the semi truck trailers that are the lifeblood of our economy?

How about you drive what you like and I'll drive what I like...

[ReadyontheRight]

Sorry to go off-topic and post a quote, but I'm very tired of this anti-SUV class envy. If you don't want to drive an SUV, don't drive one. Don't try to tell me that saving a few miles per gallon driving a car that be found crumpled up under the fender of a box truck is going to save the world and eliminate the U.S. need for foreign oil.

I personally love a vehicle that's so top-heavy that I'm often late for work because I never know when it will just flip over while parked in my garage. :rolleyes:

[Feanaro]

George W. Bush rigged the 2000 election so that oil companies, Rush Limbaugh, big corporations, Republicans, and SUV owners could conquer The United Nations.

If only... if only. :D

[Drjones]

This tool may not be used to create Democratic presidential candidate speeches or generate content for MoveOn.org without the express permission of Buttafly.com.

That is PRICELESS!!! (And so true...)

:D :D :D


Here's my little creation:


George W. Bush allowed 9/11 to happen so that The Jews, big corporations, oil companies, Republicans, white men, SUV owners, and gun owners could oppress minorities.