I was threatened yesterday afternoon...


Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 09:37 AM
My ex came over yesterday afternoon to see the dogs and discovered that I had changed the locks. (It was my attorney's advice.) After all, she had stolen my gun collection. She said some really filthy things, and then threatened me.
She carries a .38 special snub and I expeced it to come out any second. In that split second, I decided that I would just take the bullet if she pulled out the snub. I would never point a gun at her.

I've had my war.
Kentucky Rifle

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May 9, 2004, 09:44 AM
I don't know if I'd just "take a bullet." She might be accurate...

Have you considered installing a video camera for those moments when she comes over? I'd run the show by a judge and request a a restraining order. I certainly wouldn't want someone packing a gun coming to visit that has a habit of getting nasty. What's to stop her from behaving like this with the rest of the family?

May 9, 2004, 09:57 AM
If I was you I would look into getting a restraining order against her. If you don't sooner or later she will cause you more trouble, either legally or physically.

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 09:58 AM
My ex is a very accuate shot with a pistol or rifle. She's a "natural shot".
I watched her put all five shots into an area the size of a man's fist at 75 feet. Yes--seventy five feet. And that was on her first trip to the range. No practice, no nothing.
I've been shot before and it was..ah, unplesant. However, this woman lived happily with me for 26 years. It was a few months ago when she had "female" surgery that she turned into...this. My doctor said it was a "hormonal thing".
No matter what, I could't shoot her.

Pop- Yeah, you're right. I'm calling my attorney first thing tomorrow morning and asking him about an EOP. Doesn't help me today though.


buy guns
May 9, 2004, 10:12 AM
i dont blame you, i wouldnt want to shoot her either but if she pulled a gun on me a pistol whipping wouldnt be out of the question.

May 9, 2004, 10:17 AM
Wow, sounds like you're in a pickle! Those "female surgeries" can change a woman. Has she tried medication to counter the imbalance? It's sad to see a marrage fall apart because of an operation.

I hate restraining orders, but it sounds like you need one. Changing the lock was a good idea. If everything is secure, make yourself scarce to avoid confrontations until this blows over. Be careful mentioning guns around the police and lawyers, that always takes the conflict up a level or two. Remember, restraining orders and guns don't mix, you or your wife will lose them. Make sure she knows if she pulls one out it's jail time, even if it's just for show to gain leverage.

May 9, 2004, 10:18 AM
Sounds to me like you might consider playing the woman's card and express your concern about her means and ability to use her (your) guns against you. At the very least they may be removed from her until the difficulty is over with.

On another note, I feel your pain bud. I too have been on the short end of the "hormonal problem" stick. It's not pretty and it's not easy. It may even get worse, but there's light at the end of the tunnel for ya. Hang in there!

May 9, 2004, 10:21 AM
Woman or not...ex wife or not...friend after all this time or not.....if my ex pulled a gun on me she'd be in for a long sore recovery.:D

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 10:29 AM
Del4: Her doctor gave her some hormone replacement patches. She'd put one on and be a different person two hours later. Far worse behavior than without a patch.

K8ysv: Thanks for the support.

Navajo: Well, you may be right but the thought of shooting her makes my stomach roll.

Again, I've had my war. Three tours worth.


May 9, 2004, 10:36 AM
Perhaps some hollow points filled with estrogen?

You could consider it a "booster shot". :what:

Seriously, kudo's to you sir for not stooping to her level and for maintaining a cool head.

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 10:40 AM
I laid in bed last and listened to the phone ring. My "call waiting" said it was her. I didn't answer. Finally, I got up and turned off the ringers. I could STILL hear the upatairs phone. I put in an earplug. (I only need one because I'm completely deaf on the right side.) It takes a very crazy person to forgo sleep just to ring your phone all night long.

Blues: Thank you for the joke. You could be right. However, I have a very difficult time laughing when my life is in danger.


May 9, 2004, 10:45 AM
sounds like time to get out of town....

maybe a week, maybe forever....

it's your call...

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 10:52 AM
Yesterdaysyouth: You could be right too.
A friend told me yesterday that he wants to divorce his wife (She's "running around" on him) and move to Florida and open a new gunshop. He asked me if I would be interested in being his partner. Naturally, I said "YES".

Chance favors the prepared mind.

May 9, 2004, 10:55 AM
If she's mentally unstable, her CCW needs to be yanked before she loses it completely and shoots either you or some guy in a parking lot that pissed her off.

I'd get the restraining order and if she violates it, have her arrested.

May 9, 2004, 11:23 AM
Plenty of women in my family had operations but as my mother was an RN for many years -- I know of none that change a person this drastically, except that she must have been unbalanced for many years. If you don't mind taking a bullet -- just consider, would you mind if you took a bullet in front of your children or grand kids? What a memory they'll have....:eek:

It's admirable that you wouldn't want to hurt her but if she's willing to hurt you, you have a responsibity to yourself and your loved ones to protect yourself. If she's sick, she's all the more dangerous. Some of the worst domestic crimes by women have occured because people noticed they weren't quite right and did nothing. Bad move. I'd take your friend up on his offer to open up shop in Flordia -- say nothing except to those that won't blab to her and get a restraining order in the meantime to keep her at bay. God help you if she moves to Florida to be near you. Someone acts like this...stalking isn't out of the question.


May 9, 2004, 11:24 AM
Won't a restraining order void her CCW to begin with?

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 11:25 AM
Glocksman: I hate to do it, but I think I've got to.
I have a Bonanza on stand-by. If worse comes to worse, I can fly from Louisville to Nashville in 43 minutes or get to Florida in 5 hours. I have friends who'll hide and protect me in both places. I really wanted my collection back before "The Great Escape".
Sheesh, I just had to take a pain pill. When I'm worried, my back and hip just KILL me. I have canes stashed around EVERYWHERE. It formally was pistols, before she stole them all. The only guns I have left are the Kahr PM9 on my hip, a Colt .22 that my father gave me about a hundred years ago when I was 17, and a Marlin Papoose that was in my flight bag. See, if I'm forced down again, I want a rifle. (Even if it's just a .22) I'm not spending another long cold night with nothing but a Swiss Army Knife!


May 9, 2004, 11:26 AM
Like that would really stop her from carrying? No permit? Doubt it...

May 9, 2004, 11:30 AM
You know Kentucky, what worries me is that I don't think your law officers are taking this seriously just because of your gender. It's times like these, I'd advise a person to move to Quincy, Massachusetts -- they're dead serious about restraining orders and protecting those at risk -- men and women. It's too bad more cities and states aren't as strict. Obviously, Massachusetts isn't an option I'm sure you'd want to take so I'd advise you to move to Florida as soon as possible. It sounds like you're in a lot of danger where you're not even being protected by police.


May 9, 2004, 11:31 AM

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 11:48 AM
Laura: We don't have children and the only people that love me are friends. Mostly people on this very board. And I understand what you mean regarding my "gender". I'm 6'3" and weigh in at 220 pounds. To look at me, you wouldn't think I'd be afraid of anything. (Except, ticks. ~shudder~ The last time I got a tick on me, I ran about a mile attempting to flick him off. Finally, the guy who caught & tackled me yanked the nasty thing off. Shudder again.) Took me a half hour to find my rifle.

Armoredman: Yeah. I've thought about that too. I'll never forget how I felt when I heard the news over my car radio that my best friend had been murdered on the way to Florida. Happened in front of his wife, too. They had been married for less than a year.


May 9, 2004, 11:51 AM
Like that would really stop her from carrying? No permit? Doubt it...

Well, I wasn't trying to imply that it would stop her, I was really just asking about the technicalities of it.

Kendra Pacelli
May 9, 2004, 12:10 PM
KR, get that restraining order. Though, they don't do much, at least you are letting the law know that you are in fear of your life. If someone, ex, current, loved one or none of above pointed a loaded weapon at me, I wouldn't think twice about pulling the trigger.

This needs to be nipped in the bud and quick. There is no reason for you to fear for you life. Surgery or not, this chick needs some serious help.

Come to TN, pleanty of THR's would love to put you up.

Keep us all up to date, and good luck man.

May 9, 2004, 12:10 PM
I'm sure if they're was a restraining order put out on her it would prohibit her from carrying. I recall some cops had a similar problem when the wife had a restraining order on them and they had surrender their home guns and couldn't take their police issue gun with them. For civilians, not sure how this would be enforced and I wouldn't put much faith in it.

Kentucky, if you have no immediate family there to worry about, move -- and say nothing. Once you get to Florida, I'd visit your local police with a photo of her and fill them in. Mention what a wonderful shot she was to get their attention. God willing, they'll take the threat more seriously than your police do. By means, get a video camera and keep it on. If the locals don't care about her behavior captured on video, the Florida PD will be very interested in it.

May 9, 2004, 12:30 PM
Not meaning to make this sound Hopeless KR, but this may be useful,
A guy my dad knew had a similar problem to yours.

from what my dad once told me, the guy's ex behaved similar to yours, and when he changed the locks after neighbors saw her repeatedly entering his home while he was at work, she went ballistic like your ex on discovery that he changed the locks, however didn't stop there, she put a price on his speedy departure from this world, on obtaining proof of this he took it to several law enforcement groups, all of whom didn't want to know, in the end the guy ended up having to move states & completely change his identity.

If she's that nuts, Personaly I think you should do a Hudini KR.

May 9, 2004, 12:44 PM
get the restraining order ASAP. the next time she comes over and she will because they always DO, call 911 and if you can keep her stalled till the cops get there. they'll arrest her take her ccw and confiscate her weapons. she'll be taken for a pych eval at which time you can bet she'll be baker acted. end of story.

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 12:59 PM
My gunshop owner told me to call the Police and report that my gun collection
was stolen by my ex. And when they say it's a "domestic" and can't really do anything, to just say "Yeah, I realize that. I just wanted to report them stolen in case a crime is commited with a firearm that I own".


May 9, 2004, 01:05 PM
Kentucky Rifle

I am really sorry to hear this. I'm glad your are okay.
I can empathize.

Not what you want to hear, but you have a responsiblity to yourself. You have the right to be safe. You have a right to be happy.

PM sent

May 9, 2004, 01:50 PM
Her "mood swings" can be controlled by hormone replacement therapy IF she wants to control it. She has probably been brainwashed by all the stupid, "Don't get replacement therapy you'll get cancer and die," crap that is out there. My wife had that surgery done 20 years ago and has been taking her little pills ever since. As she puts, never let her run out of pills or cigarettes. And I believe her...

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 02:12 PM
She puts on a hormone replacement patch every week. If she shoots me with her .38, it will be with one I gave her. In happier times, I gave her three.:rolleyes:


May 9, 2004, 02:40 PM
MAN ! I just caught this ! Let me give you my 2 cents sir ! When me and the little lady wasn't getting along she threaten to take out a false EPO on me ! Well needless to say the sheriffs will take all your weapons & your permit ! And there is no telling when you will get them back !

She was goin' to go downtown saying I hit her etc. REMEMBER all they have to do is scratch themself ! Arm etc. & when a police officer sees this guess who is going to JAIL ! YOU my friend !!!!

Anyway what you need to do is :

Go to Wal Mart, K- Mart or borrow one of those Mini Micro Cassette Recorders & when EVER she gets around you turn that baby ON !! These are small enough to fit in a shirt pocket.

Or you can tape your incoming phone calls they have the adapter @ Radio Shack I think they run about $ 23 best $ you will spend ! You may want a " shoe box type " cassette recorder & the best place to get that would be K-Mart.

Sorry to be so long winded !
But I'm just trying to cover a fellow KY. brothers back !!

If you have any questions about the above e-mail me I live in Lou. !!

May 9, 2004, 02:59 PM
Anyone live near our Friend Kentucky?

Maybe go visit and keep him company,watch his six, be a witness, bring in some eats.

I'd also get something documented. Call the po-po, a friend in LEO, catch the attorney at home ,somebody, all of these.

Get KR's version on record FIRST!

May 9, 2004, 03:18 PM
get an attorney, get a restraining order on her, and do it fast. Before she does the same to you and you lose your guns and permit. It is a shame that a woman can get a RO easier than a man, but i would not put it past her to do, seeing that she knows you are a passionate gun owner.

May 9, 2004, 03:32 PM
Come over to the right side of the River (Indiana) :D We always welcome more people like you. She can stay over there in Louisville with the other crazies. :P

May 9, 2004, 04:45 PM
Holy crap, Will. :eek:

I'm so sorry to hear about all of the difficult things you're having to face. I wish I were closer to you. It's absolutely deplorable to steal your guns, especially.

I'll be sending you an email. Please know that if you have to bug out, you've got friends to the West. It doesn't matter where you go in that Bonanza (V-tail?) -- it's probably a really good idea to get out of there.

God be with you, Will.


May 9, 2004, 04:51 PM

I've got tears in my eyes reading about this situation. I've followed your posts from time to time on here, and you strike me as a good an intelligent man - but I'm not sure you're thinking this through.

This is a deadly serious situation, and from what you've said you're the only one in a fit state to be even remotely rational about it. Even then, you'd rather be shot down like a dog than draw iron on a loved one, and I understand that.

You need to move, chap. Now. Abscond yourself from this situation before anything exothermic happens, if you take my meaning. You can do this rationally - your ex can't. It's not her fault, it's not your fault - It Just Is. Laws and restraining orders and the like - they don't mean a thing to a person who's out of control, as this poor lady seems to be.

In your situation, I'd alert the authorities, mention the instability, make sure they take it seriously - then find a good friend a long, long way away. Because if she's chasing you - as ringing all night, and turning up when you're there to wave steel in your face would imply - you have to become unfindable to her.

It's terrible, it's horrible and I hate to see a man in this state - gh0d knows we're the weaker sex when it comes to this. I hope you see the sense in what I'm saying, because this is a double-flameout on the deck, mate. The only thing you can do is punch out.

Best wishes, man.

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 05:56 PM
I just got off the phone. I called the Police and got the information regarding an "EPO". I'm going downtown in the morning to get the paperwork started.
Everyone seemed to take this very seriously. "Man to woman, woman to man", I was told that my gender made no difference at all. They even told me that they had seen this very circumstance before. In addition, the EPO will be effective as of tomorrow. I'll get a court date and my ex will not be allowed on my property. It looks as if she'll be served at her place of employment. I have no desire to see her embarrassed. However, I also have no desire to dodge bullets. Oh, the sergeant told me that they'll probably confiscate her guns and CCW. Now she'll know how it feels to be "gunless".
I'm not happy that she'll lose her guns or that she'll be embarrassed, unhappy, or even angry. I'm just trying to escape her.
I'd like to say thank you to all the people who have posted, called, and sent e-mails of support. Oleg told me that I had a plethora of comrades here on THR, but I've truly been overwhelmed.

KR (Will)

May 9, 2004, 06:32 PM
I am very sorry that you are going thru this, but perhaps you can look at this bad situation as a proverbial "kick in the pants" to completely change your life for the better. If you think the offer of partnership in the new gunshop is viable, jump on it and head for sunnier climes as soon as possible. This female stalker of yours sounds seriously unstable and whatever legal protection you seek might incite her to a higher, more dangerous level manic behavior. A protection order will not stop a bullet. Time to get outta Dodge and leave this chick with a gun behind. I hope it works out for you and I thank the gods that my beautiful woman aint crazy(yet) and aint into guns! Keep us informed friend...

May 9, 2004, 07:01 PM
If the only thing holding you there is your firearms collection, its not worth hanging around for! Just like money and beer-they'll make more. I'm more concerned about your attitude than your weapons collection by far.

Being a 4 tour vet, you KNOW whats important, so don't think you're not. If you can't function correctly for yourself right now, do it for those who think kindly of you.

Get yourself outta that situation just as fast as your feet can carry you, and you really need to get with someone you trust a lot and talk this out. You have bigger issues running around in your head than maybe you realize. You owe it to yourself.

May 9, 2004, 07:19 PM
As good a thread as this is I smell a troll. Ticks, yuk. You're killing me.

May 9, 2004, 07:27 PM
As much as I like the song "Funeral for a Friend" KR, I don't want to be seeing or hearing about another one here for a loooooooog time.

PM sent.

May 9, 2004, 07:27 PM
Don't even start that here. Will is NOT a troll -- never has been and never will be. I see that you're new here. I don't want to come across as rude, but can you try to be a little more considerate of the situation?

I'm sure that I, and all of the other friends of Kentucky Rifle, would appreciate it if you followed the age-old adage: If you don't have something productive to say, don't say anything at all.


May 9, 2004, 07:37 PM
There are two spare bedrooms in this GI's beachside house near Cocoa Beach. Seriously. The fridge is always full, folks are friendly, and the VA hospital isn't far away. We just lost Labgrade, that's more than enough for 2004. :(

Baba Louie
May 9, 2004, 08:08 PM
My ex had periods just like that after her "H" surgery. Talk about hysterical. I feel yer pain in a way. I also made the decision to teach her to shoot early on when things were rosy. She's a dang good shot too. She decided one day my guns were hers too and decided to come get 'em. I had a friend take them for awhile. She finally got her patch thing down to the point where she no longer goes berserker (she is norwegian). She also got a boyfriend to take care of certain needs which really helped out everyone, him, her AND me... the old saying was true in my case as to what she really needed, and it wasn't anymore of me.
Do the RO/EPO thing, see about getting yer things back via the Law, head to Florida and jump into that new shop with both feet. Change yer name to Florida Firestix, (the artiste formerly known as Kentucky Rifle) and enjoy them golden years listening to young whippersnappers ask stupid questions about gunz and things. Shucks, that almost sounds like too much fun.
Check yer six. Often. Hang tough.

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 08:23 PM
Look at my post count. Do you actually think I could have stayed around for so long if I was a troll? The mods are all very smart people. Do you think that they would have let me stay for SO long if I was a troll?
I'd better stop here before I say something that shouldn't be said on THR.


May 9, 2004, 08:37 PM
Will is NOT a troll -- never has been and never will be. I see that you're new here Well said Wes .... I am appalled that a new poster should make such an accusation.

KR is a long established and respected member here ..... I am saddened Gotbass by reading your insensitive and extremely discourteous remark.

KR ... I feel for you - not thru personal experience directly but pure empathy, amplified by age!. You have had much good advise ... but I can see within what you have said that 26 years and even an apparent personality change .. has not stopped you loving the woman of your life ... as was anyways.

I can tell you .. you would potentially have a 101 ''bolt holes'' available thru your friends here on THR - should you so need them .... watch your six very closely ... and maybe try and get away. For a break at least.

Good luck to you .... and keep us in the frame eh. :)

Kentucky Rifle
May 9, 2004, 08:56 PM
Thanks Wes, Chris, and Gewehr.

And gotbass-- de toro.


May 9, 2004, 10:00 PM

I'm fairly new here, and in LE (I've noticed you don't hold us in high regard), so take this for what you will:

The EPO can be done at anytime, 24/7, at 6th & Jefferson (Hall of Justice). Yes, they get taken out on women all the time. If you feel that strongly that she's gonna do something, please file a criminal complaint. After you do that, it's in the hands of the judge/attorneys.

If an EPO is granted by a judge, you'll have a hearing within 2 weeks to discuss the complaint. In the mean time, the judge may grant several things to you, including a "no-contact" order on her part. This means that she will not be able to contact you in ANY way, including via phone/email/etc. If she violates this order, then it will be considered "contempt of court", and she will be arrested. An EPO may also relieve her of any firearms that she may have, if so ordered by the judge. She would then be instructed to turn them over to the sheriff's office, or face contempt charges.

Now, that being said, an EPO is merely a piece of paper. I've seen way too many people in here for violation of an EPO. But, it may help you down the road. Also, keep in mind that the EPO is NOT in effect until she is served. When she is served will depend on when the deputies from JCSO can find her. I know that protective orders are to be served immediately, so there's that...I see them served all the time where I work, so I know they get there fairly quick.

Again, I'm pretty new here, mainly a lurker, but I hope the info helps....especially since I'm in LE, and don't know anything about the law.

May 9, 2004, 10:03 PM
Maybe Gotbass was talking about him/herself. He/She didn't specify that KR was the troll...

Hey It's the best reason I can think of for a new poster to make a comment like that.

May 9, 2004, 10:30 PM
gotbass quipped:
As good a thread as this is I smell a troll. Ticks, yuk. You're killing me. gotbass, welcome to THR. You just made a ton of new friends. :scrutiny:

This is the nicest forum you will ever encounter. The mere fact that you're still around after insulting a very respected long time member should be proof of that. But please don't mistake kindness for stupidity. Thefumegator gave you some very wise advice.

May 9, 2004, 11:08 PM
KR, brother,

If you need to get away from what is obviously a volitile situation, you are more than welcome to crash on my couch for awhile. Like you said, it's only 43 minutes from there to here. After the spectacular arguement I had with my fiance this evening, I'll probably need a new friend to talk to for a few days anyhow.

The invitation is open. Also, Oleg lives less than 10 minutes away from me, there are plenty of guns for us to shoot, and I'm a pretty decent cook. Oh yeah, the VA hospital isn't far either. The only downside, I'm in the midst of packing up to move soon, so you'd have to endure some boxes stacked up all over the place.


May 9, 2004, 11:25 PM
Hmmm, I have a vision of how to get your guns back by this. :D

Kendra Pacelli
May 9, 2004, 11:39 PM

What gets me is that when its domestic violence against a man (and unfortunately this is domestic violence) it is not taken seriously. It sucks. I have been on your end and I know what it feels like and I know what you are going through. You are stepping up to the plate, and trying to do something about it. It's not as if she hauled off and slapped you, she pointed a loaded weapon at you and threatend your life. All she had to do was pull the trigger, and it would be over for you.

Continue to be adament on this situation, and let them know that you are in fear of your life. If you weren't you would not have posted this thread. Again, take this to an attorney and get that restraining order. Feel free to PM me if you would like additional advice.

And again, good luck and stay safe.

May 10, 2004, 12:17 AM
KR, REALLY sorry to hear about this. I have seen similar problems personally, although not on THIS scale. In fact, I am battling (and have battled) the threats too. In my case I called her bluff - and it SEEMED to have worked. BUT I wouldn't recommend it. I took a BIG chance - not likely worth it considering the potential outcome! :what:

Be sure you think about everything with a clear head and don't do anything impulsive (like I did). You might not end up as lucky.

I understand about taking that bullet. If my situation HAD escalated and I had been staring down the barrel of her gun, I HONESTLY do not think I could have defended myself - at least not with deadly force. I'd keep telling myself "it wasn't really her" or "she doesn't understand what she is doing".

That's why I think she might be more dangerous to you than the typical BG that you (likely) COULD defend yourself against.

I don't know your exact situation so please forgive me if I made any bad assumptions here. The main thing is to take care of yourself the best you can. As always, try to avoid any dangerous situations if possible. I won't repeat what others' have said but there is a lot of good advice here.

Take care of yourself!


May 10, 2004, 12:43 AM
Run, don't walk.

:( Bad situation indeed. Wish you the best.

May 10, 2004, 02:22 AM
KR, I am very sorry to hear about this. As I recall she used to post either here or TFL (do I remember that right?). If I'm remembering right it seemed that she was an intelligent person, it is too bad it has come to this.

I'm assuming from your post (and unwillingness to draw on her if she draws on you- a willingness to take a bullet FROM someone is a pretty strong statement) that you still love her. If so, this must be especially hard, I can't even imagine. If I could take some of the pain from you upon myself I would, but I can't.

My thoughts and hopes are with both you and her that you both get through this difficult period unscathed physically, and as unharmed emotionally as possible.

Of course, try to get that restraining order (as you say you are), try to see when the sheriffs office confiscates the guns if you can get them back (those that are in your name and not hers on that yellow form anyway), and talk to mutual friends, her family, and anyone who she trusts who will talk to you about getting her the medical and possibly psychiatric/psychological help she probably needs right now.

May 10, 2004, 06:29 AM
Get outta Dodge,,,now.

My ex is in prison right now for attempted murder for shooting husband #5. I went into a few details of it elsewhere.

Right now, distance is your best friend.

May 10, 2004, 06:34 AM
KR- if you're really tired of living, I can't help you.

But I for one do NOT want to read about you in the papers! And I can't belive that as someone who's still walking around after having been through so very much, that you could just lie down and give up now. Not for this.

If you do not want to stand and fight (a respectable decision) then you MUST GET THE HELL OUT, NOW!

Do it immediately, put the house on the market and take everything you need with you, and fire up that damn Bonanza. The plane will do you no good while you bleed to death on the floor with 5 JPHs in your chest.

You need to dissappear

May 10, 2004, 07:03 AM
Something else to consider in the immediate future is a light kevlar vest, something that will stop a .38... you could get one for under $500.

Kentucky Rifle
May 10, 2004, 09:16 AM
HOW can you say I don't hold LEO's in high regard? You have got to be thinking about someone else. I have very high regards for anyone who stands between me and the bad guy. You should check and be sure you've got the right guy before you leave a reply like that.


May 10, 2004, 09:26 AM
I would second the vest idea. Big time. Get it before she gets served. One of those ones that wears like a t-shirt and is almost invisible. If she went off the deep end when you changed the locks, she's going to freak for real when she gets served. Be ready for it. Best thing is to be gone. If you can't be gone, be ready.

Given your apprehension about defending yourself in this situation and the impossibility of reconciliation...that leaves one option: be gone. In the short term, be gone from the house, at the very least. In the long term: be gone from your life.

Sorry to hear about these troubles, buddy. But you know full well that now it's time to sigh, tuck in your shirt and do what has to be done. None of us want to read about you in the paper. There's been enough tradgedy around here of late.

Good luck to you.

- Gabe

Miss Demeanors
May 10, 2004, 11:58 AM
{{{{Will}}}} I am so sorry to hear you have to go through this. :( The judge is going to ask you if she has any weapons in her house (there should also be something on the actual papers). You need to clearly state that she DOES have (your) firearms & a CCW. It would also be wise to list what guns she has, so when they go to confiscate them, they get ALL of them and not leave her with anything she might have hidden. Be sure to tell the Judge she stole those firearms from you, hopefully you will get them back. If you don't get them back, as horrible as that is, you can always get new ones later. Your main concern right now is getting the guns away from her. Trust me, as soon as she is served, that is the most dangerous time with protection orders, she's going to flip. It all depends on how much she loves her freedom, if she is scared of going to jail, she probably will stay away but if she's too wacked out to care about freedom, watch your six. I would highly advise getting yourself a lawyer that specifically deals with Domestic Violence cases only. They deal with this stuff day in and day out, and can do a lot more for you than a 'regular' lawyer. If you can't afford one, there are many places that offer free legal help, and trust me, those lawyers are just as good as any high priced ones.

Also, start a journal! Each time she calls the house and/or comes over LOG IT! Make a full report of the incident in that log, dates, times, exact places. When you go to court, it's going to be much easier on you if you can show some kind of proof. Judges love well detailed logs and it will help your case tremendously! If she left any messages for you the other night, record them or save it. Nothing better than threats coming right out of their mouths for all to hear. Keep in mind that she's probably going to try spinning this on you trying to make it your fault, so you really want to back your statements up as much as possible.

Lastly, if you can get away from there, definitely go! When you move, get an unpublished number, and limit the amount of people that know your whereabouts. Distance is your best bet.

Good luck Will, I'll send some prayers that way.

May 10, 2004, 11:59 AM
Kentucky Rifle,
I want to second Gewehr98's invitation to come down to the Brevard County area. You have a ready support group down here of at least 2 THR members and we have an awesome NRA range in Palm Bay that has facilities for Skeet, Trap, Action, Long Range Rifle, and various Pistol disciplines. I don't have a room to put you up in like Gewehr98 unfortunately, (spare room got taken by the new baby) but I can offer moral support. I don't think I could defend myself against my wife if I was ever put in that situation either...the suggestion of the bullet proof vest sounds like a good idea to me, if the locks made her angry the restraining order will probably enrage her. Don't give up hope.

May 10, 2004, 12:03 PM
What was the original gun theft situation?

May 10, 2004, 12:12 PM
First, OT a bit:
KR, it looks like I'm mistaken as to my earlier comments about you not caring for LE. I had thought that you posted a comment that stated something like "most LEO's don't even know the law", but after performing a search, didn't see it. So, in the fashion of idiots everywhere, I will now eat crow and hope that you accept my most humble apologies.

2nd, and back ON topic:
My offer to you for any assistance you may need, and that I'm able to help with (in the PM I sent to you), still stands. Again, as I mentioned in the PM, both my wife and I are in local LE here in Louisville, and if there's anything I can do to help out a fellow gun "nut", let me know. Good luck with things, and can someone give me a good recipe for both crow, and humble pie?:)

Sylvilagus Aquaticus
May 10, 2004, 12:19 PM
Hi KR...

I'm glad to see you posting, but I feel for you, brother. I was in a similar situation with my ex and I have to reiterate- MAKE YOURSELF SAFE FIRST.

If you can swing the cost without undue distress to yourself, get the recorder on the phone, record her voicemails to your phone, tape any interactions. The vest may be excessive, but sometimes extreme circumstances make for extreme measures.

My divorce took almost 4 years to complete. I still have repercussions from it, as she has obtained (several) credit cards in my name with my ID info and let them go into chargeoff (since the divorce was final 9 years ago). I'm in the process of getting this taken care of now, only after discovering my credit has been blown to hell. Hopefully this will not occur to your soon-to-be-ex.

Sounds like it's time to take the dogs and consider a move to Florida.

Holler if I can be of any assistance...an ear, a shoulder, a hand up, ok?


May 10, 2004, 03:58 PM

It sounds like it may be a good time to relocate. Once gone, make sure she can't easily find you. May I suggest How to be Invisible (http://www.howtobeinvisible.com) as a good reference for staying hidden.


May 10, 2004, 06:20 PM
Sorry to hear about that Will, Hope everything works out for you. :(

May 10, 2004, 07:06 PM
I had an ex live in gf that was a drunk.she hounded me after I kicked her out .phone calls all nite long,blocking me in wherever I went,stuff mysteriously getting broken in the yard...she even called me at work and made death threats. tell her(or if you want family involved..tell her family also) next time if she continues to harass you,you will get a restraining order against her.call the phone company and get the ball rolling on harassment by telephone.it wont stop until you do something about it-then-itll get worse but eventually..it will get better.if she calls on the phone tell her youre calling the phone company and the police then say nothing more and hang up.

Kentucky Rifle
May 10, 2004, 08:39 PM
I have no words to express my gratitude for all the support I've received. Phone calls, PM's, posts, and e-mails. Even though she told my attorney today that she's not going to give my gun collection back, I'm quite content. He will have to fight her tooth & nail, although he still says he'll get my stuff back. Incredibly, I've caught myself going around my house--singing. I'm myself again. Maybe I'm better than I've been in a long time.;) My friends said my ex was "toxic". I guess I really am better off without her.


May 10, 2004, 08:45 PM
Glad to hear you're feeling better KR. Keep your chin up and everything will work out. Just don't drop your guard.

May 10, 2004, 09:08 PM
As KMKeller said... don't drop your guard.

You're still better off out of there. The financial hit is better than a perforated thorax.

My initial advice stands. Execute Manouvre GTFO. Worry about pennies when you're still tight-fitting all over, skinwise.

KentuckyRifle... my gut is screaming at me that you're in the worst possible place Right Now! The Legally Defended Victim Space!

You can still run the numbers from elsewhere. Be elsewhere, I beseech you.

Dex Sinister
May 10, 2004, 09:15 PM
Stay safe and persevere - it does get better eventually. Awful sorry to hear of your situation.

Kendra said: It's not as if she hauled off and slapped you, she pointed a loaded weapon at you and threatend your life. All she had to do was pull the trigger, and it would be over for you.

Just to be clear, KR didn't say that. He said: "She said some really filthy things, and then threatened me.
She carries a .38 special snub and I expected it to come out any second.


May 10, 2004, 10:24 PM
As others have said, GTFO. My Best friend went through this, spent a lot of time at my house, I spent more time at his house, his Dad was there as well. I kept a gun close by, If she had to be shot (shudder) I felt it was better for me to do it. If you have friends close by, become there back pocket when possible.
Keep your head up, chin over your shoulder. It will get better, I became lots closer to my friend. There is lots to live for, if nothing else your guns WILL come home soon.
Best of luck, stay out of the newspaper.

Iron Mike
May 10, 2004, 10:41 PM
Please do not become over confident regarding your safety ,gas up that plane and go away for a couple of weeks.Tell your lawyer where you're going and a trusted friend or two, but no one else. I do belive its time to get out of Dodge NOW! Good luck buddy, watch your six

Kentucky Rifle
May 10, 2004, 10:50 PM
It's difficult to type with tears of joy in my eyes. Oleg told me that I have friends on the board. (Out the wazoo it turns out!)
Throat tight...tears in my good eye.

Thank you,

May 10, 2004, 10:56 PM
Be careful man... :(

4v50 Gary
May 10, 2004, 10:57 PM
I'd be happy to haul you to the Frazier Arms Museum as my guest. Haven't seen it myself and I'm looking forward to it.

May 10, 2004, 11:18 PM
In Minnesota you only need one parties (your own) permission to record conversations. If you are not already taping, I would suggest asking your lawyer if it is legal to tape record things in your state.

Be careful not to do what many people do. That is thinking you are safer and safer as time goes by because nothing bad has happened yet.

Good luck Kentucky Rifle.

May 11, 2004, 04:08 AM
Wow KR, I've been gone from the computer for a couple of days and I come back to this:( I feel like eveything has been said that could be said, but still wanted to post and let you know you and this poor lady will be in my prayers. I can't imagine what your going through. Please stay safe!! If life takes you to the heartland ( Kansas City metro) please drop me a pm and I will help out in any way possible.

May 11, 2004, 04:37 AM
I don't know how I missed this thread for so long. Bad situation. I feel bad for you, man.
Remember the part in Amityville Horror when the priest hears a voice? What did that voice tell him?
It said, "GET OUT!!"
That is the best advice I can give you.
Good luck.

May 11, 2004, 07:16 AM
Kentucky Rifle - after I graduated from high school, I was in a simular situation to yours, with the threat coming from a close family member. In my case it was my alcoholic father, and things were starting to become extremely violentwith him stalking family members and leaving threatening messages. This took place in Indiana. I now live in Virginia. Put as much ground as you can between you and her. Particulary since your not able to defend yourself against her. I would definitly invest in some passive protection like a vest, and get out of town for while. Even if you cant move permantly, at least visit someone. Id offer to let you crash at my house, but Im already a guest of my mom's, and there is no extra room :(. Staying in town is just going to make a volitile situation that much worse. So get out while your still alive, pick up a vest if you can, and stay safe. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

May 11, 2004, 07:19 AM
Kr, the gun collection isn't worth your life. You can start a new gun collection. Besides it would probably cost more in the long run paying your lawyer thaen starting a new collection. As always best of luck.

May 11, 2004, 07:34 AM
KyRifle, if Florida ain't far enough away, you can always join an expatriated Kentuckian out here in the Great Pacific NorthWet.
You can fly right into Boeing Field or Everett. I live half way in between.
I have plenty of room and she'll never find you way out here.

May 11, 2004, 09:01 AM
I just caought this thread, and I can't add anything to the advice & opinions here offered, so I'll just wish you peaceful, speedy, and successful resolution to your travails. Take care of yourself and stay safe. Best regards, M2

Kodiak AK
May 11, 2004, 09:03 AM

Been there done that . My Ex Wife is a total Psyc job.Right now she is threatening me to call the cops for harrasment because I had the audacicty to ask for visitation with our daughter when she wanted me to let her new husband adopt her .:banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

These are cold hard brutal facts you need to know .
1.Do not screw around .
2.Chivalry is a nobel thing , but you will end up royally hosed .
3.When there is an altercation(It's is comeing and you will not be in control of the sistuation.) YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL.
The simple fact sad but true . It sounds so misogynst , but it isn't . The courts and the police will always take the word of the woman before the man .

The only hope you have is to file that DVRO now .Get that paper trail started as soon as possable .The only thing that saved me from a world of hurt was when my ex screwed up , and told a lie to the face of the cheif of police here .

I don't want to get into to many details here , but if you want more advise , info , or anything else PM me .

Kentucky Rifle
May 11, 2004, 11:18 AM
My ex just called an told me that I could have my gun collection back. But that she "is not going down to get it and her friends who have it won't give it to me". Is that not a nutty thing to say???


May 11, 2004, 11:52 AM
Easy answer.

Her friends are committing a felony. Report them stolen. The cops will get the guns for you.

May 11, 2004, 11:52 AM
But that she "is not going down to get it and her friends who have it won't give it to me".

Hmmm...hate to say this, KR, but it sounds like she may have doled out your collection to her friends (who were probably delighted to get your fine firearms).


Hang tough!

May 11, 2004, 12:27 PM
Yeah, Will... gotta agree. If someone has your firearms and won't give them to either you or the ex, then it's now a job for the police. They'll get your guns back for you and put the witholding party in a world of hurt.

It's so hard to read about stuff like this. It's hard to leave everything behind, but that's probably the right thing to do. That gunshop deal sounds hard to pass up if your buddy decides to go through with it.

Stay safe, Will. We're all thinking of you.


Mostly Harmless
May 11, 2004, 12:36 PM
You know Kentucky, what worries me is that I don't think your law officers are taking this seriously just because of your gender. It's times like these, I'd advise a person to move to Quincy, Massachusetts -- they're dead serious about restraining orders and protecting those at risk -- men and women.

Yeah, but leave your guns behind in MA. Nasty laws.

My partner's ex pulled a restraining order when they were getting divorced. One of her friends told her "If you're getting divorced you have to get a restraining order."

Went to court (in Brockton -- where the ex was living) we live in Quincy :cool:

The woman judge asked the ex why she wanted the order and all she could do was parrot what her friend had told her to put on the order because there was no reason for it. Judge kinda sorta lifted the order -- took out all the supervised visitation and no-contact stuff but left in a provision that BOTH parties behave themselves nicely.

When Quincy's Finest came and served the order he asked us: "Do you have any firearms in your possession?" The answer was "no" because they were all stashed with a 3rd party that the ex didn't know about. Still haven't mentioned them either.

Still stashed of course. Couldn't possibly have anything illegal in the house now could we? Besides, someone might get hurt. :rolleyes:

May 11, 2004, 12:52 PM
Odd how Quincy, MA came up here. I'm a resident of Quincy.

Never had any experience with the restraining order process here. But, I do know that Quincy does seem to be very friendly when it comes to issuing Class A CCWs.

Last time I had to renew my Class A, I had to go to the PD to be fingerprinted. The detective who did the fingerprinting is leading me to the room where it's done and states, "I don't know why we even bother fingerprinting you guys. You're never the ones who commit crimes anyway."

We're supposed to be getting a new chief this summer. Don't know what his attitude is on firearms yet though.

May 11, 2004, 01:34 PM
KR, with your collection changing so many hands, I am not sure I would want them back. Can you prove the collection is yours?

May 11, 2004, 02:14 PM
I don't post here often, but I do read alot. Just wanted to let you know your in my prayers.

God Bless.

May 11, 2004, 02:39 PM


May 11, 2004, 02:51 PM
Fairly new member here, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. You hang in there. I had a marraige go bad(although it was nothing compared to yours). You must now look out for number one no matter how hard it is.

You mentioned you could not draw on her and I understand that. I couldn't have done that to my ex when we were splitting up. I don't know your financial situation but have you considered an Air Taser. It will give you a little more protection but is less than lethal. I don't know how good they are but just thought I would suggest it. Any chance is better than none. If you need anything it's yours.


May 11, 2004, 04:06 PM
Stay safe I hope all goes well.

Kurt S.
May 11, 2004, 05:11 PM
My ex just called an told me that I could have my gun collection back. But that she "is not going down to get it and her friends who have it won't give it to me". Is that not a nutty thing to say??? I won't judge what's nutty or what ain't. But it does read to me like she's trying to get your attention. She may be figuring you'd ask her if both of you could go and get the guns together.

I hope you are following through with the restraining order business, and I think you need to involve the police every chance you get. As far as the guns go, I am not an attorney but you ought to ask yours about filing a replevin action to get the guns back. Here's one URL but you might google the term and see what else you can find: http://www.becker-poliakoff.com/publications/article_archive/replevin.htm .

Like everybody else, I feel bad for you and I think I can say I know something of what you are going through. All I can say is that it won't last forever. Just follow through with the legal stuff and keep all your wits about you. Things may get worse before they get better. And don't fear walking away from the whole mess for a while if that's what it takes. But I really think you'll have to face it sooner or later.

2nd Amendment
May 11, 2004, 05:28 PM
I think I have read all this thread but I may have missed this(if already adressed then just ignore): She's on hormone therapy and it is making her wildly different in personality and temperment? I have reason to know just a bit about this and what this means is NOT that there is something wrong with her. There is something wrong with her dosage/therapy and/or her doctor. Proper therapy exists to stabilize someone among similar personality traits to those before the medical procedure or illness that destabilized them. When the therapy itself is worsening the situation then that therapy is being adminstered wrong. If that continues and the physician knows it then the doc is a quack.

If you spent 26 years with this woman then I have to assume you liked her and she liked you. While that may legitimately change as a result of many factors, externally induced hormonal swings aren't among them. Of course, there's the problem. Does she want to fix it? Have you already talked to her about it? Will she talk about it? Does she have certain "low" points where she understands and dislikes the changes in her own psyche, even if she feels powerless to change them? Or is she at her worst and most agressive at these low points?

The simplest, safest thing(and almost certainly the smartest) is to walk away. Just like everyone else here has said. But almost three decades is a lot of time invested to throw away. If you can't reason with her how about family members? Some OTHER family physician? *shrug* I thought about this for quite a while before posting because I do not want to tell you to try and "do" something only to get you hurt. Don't want that on my conscience. OTOH after 12 years with a very wonderful woman she probably would have to shoot me to get rid of me.

May 11, 2004, 06:13 PM
Well meaning and good advice has been given so I am unable to add to it other than say trust your gut instincts in this matter. None of us are experiencing exactly what you are in this situation and can only attempt to offer solutions. Regardless of that, please accept my sincere sympathies for your trouble and dilemna. I am certain that aside from the aggravation, harrassment and threats from your ex you must also be feeling a host of other emotions as well. Take care, be well and stay safe, Mike

May 12, 2004, 08:42 AM

Sounds like your wife has had a mental breakdown of one sort or another...

I'm not a shrink or a lawyer (and proud of the fact) but I do know a bit about the subject and may be able to offer a modest suggestion.

First, talk to your attorney... because you are still legally married you can take action to compel her to get medical (read psyco) help. Clearly she needs intervention.

Ask you lawyer what you have to do to get a court order for involuntary committiment to a mental hospital... she is dangerous to herself and others and her actions are not rational.

Committment will get here medical help and may resolve some of her problems. Worst case, you will find your situation improved by her being in a locked ward and not on the streets.

She may not thank you for your help... but it is the least you can do.



Kentucky Rifle
May 12, 2004, 10:51 AM
I just got home. I was downtown at my attorney's office. I've thought of looking into the "commitment" angle. I believe, at the very least, her guns and CCW should be taken away by SOMEONE.
Of all the crazy people I've encountered, every single one of them is a terrific shot. My ex is downright great. It's spooky! I don't know anybody else who can group all five shots of .38 special in an area less than 3 inches apart at 75 feet. (Two inch barrel!) Can you do that? I can't.


May 12, 2004, 11:02 AM
KR - I just got back from a trip & saw this thread.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through something like this. It sounds like you've been given some pretty good advice & I can't add anything to it.

Just remember that you have some pretty good friends here on THR. If you need ANYTHING, just let us know - if it's something one person is unable to help with, I'll bet there are many others who can. There's a lot of support available from all the great folks who hang out here. We "gun nuts" need to look out for each other.

Take care & keep us posted,


Iron Mike
May 13, 2004, 10:47 PM
This business about her giving your guns to third parties sounds like shes trying to get you alone.I wouldn't meet with her without another person (a good friend or a LEO )close at hand. Just my opinion. Mike

Kentucky Rifle
May 16, 2004, 10:56 AM
Which Mod understands Spanish?:D


May 16, 2004, 11:02 AM
You could always try here: ;)

English To Spanish Translator (http://www.freetranslation.com/)

May 18, 2004, 09:35 AM
Any updates for us Kenn-tuck-ee?

May 21, 2004, 01:01 AM
For those following this thread but who may not have heard the news, Kentucky Rifle has passed away on May 20th, 2004. RIP.


May 21, 2004, 03:06 AM
May his star shine as bright in the Heavens as his spirit did on this Earth.


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