A criminal with the keys to my home, and I remain unarmed...


May 14, 2004, 03:46 PM
I just have to keep telling myself it's not much longer till I'm moving out...

Around 10:30 this morning, we got a call from my mother's job. She works at a church, and they occasionally get the types looking for hand-outs, in the form of food/money/etc. Needless to say, some of these folks are... unsavory. Well, this particular fellow had been there the day before. He came back today, and my mother went to get the pastor like usual. When she came back he was gone, along with her purse, which contained her check books, driver license, keys, etc. After a call from the police and a visit from some detectives, I along with several other people checked the area alleys, dumpsters, and so on to see if he had dumped it. Turns out that a surveillance tape from the 7 Eleven across the street showed this guy asking the clerk for a white plastic bag, and leaving with it. Shortly after, apparently he came back to her office, and stole her purse after she left to bring the church pastor for him. With a 7 Eleven bag to conceal it in, he had little reason to quickly get rid of it.

Here comes the fun part. :banghead: Live ammunition is forbidden in this house. Though I disagree, it's their home, so I abide by it (not much longer till I move out... not much longer till I move out...). But now there is a criminal in the area with keys to every lock in our home, and our address. We are about 20 minutes from the nearest police. I just found out they have decided NOT to change the locks. I have a shotgun that would be adequate for personal defense at home... but despite a criminal with the keys to this house, our address, and the fact that we live a good distance from police assistance... they still refuse to have any ammunition in their home. Their mind blowing logic for this stance is that he probably won't come here. :rolleyes: And my suggestion of my mother having a CCW since she had to deal with this on a regular basis was met with the usual roll of the eyes.

One more time, repeat it with me folks... "not much longer until I move out"

:banghead: :cuss:

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May 14, 2004, 03:51 PM
You may not be able to change their minds about guns in the home but please talk them into changing the locks!

May 14, 2004, 04:01 PM
May I suggest a trip to the local sporting goods store for an aluminum softaball bat?

Try this...find a ssmall tree...kneel down on a line with it far enough away from it so that the sweet spot of the bad will strike the tree...take a deep breath and swing as hard as you can..

Then imagine kneeling at the side of a doorway swinging for the shins as an intruder enters....

Some times a gun is just too...well....final :)


May 14, 2004, 04:09 PM
I agree completely with Wildalaska. My Louisville Slugger never let me down. Aluminum is easier to control than wood and lighter(faster) than wood. A good 4-6 D maglight would work great too.


May 14, 2004, 04:11 PM
Couldn't you change the locks?

May 14, 2004, 04:13 PM
As a "moving away" present, you should call a locksmith and change the settings in the locks. A little less hassle for your mom, compared to a complete handle/lock switch. Also, the odds are that thief will not visit the home. Crap like that want a quick fix, cash, credits, etc. I assume the cards have been cancelled. When a new drivers license is obtained, DO NOT let your mom put her social security number on it. That's allowed in my state, hopefully yours as well.

May 14, 2004, 04:15 PM
Screw the bat. Go to the local sporting goods store and get a box of 00 buckshot and keep it hidden away. Your safety is at stake, parents or not.


May 14, 2004, 04:25 PM
I agree completely with tarp. They have no hold over your safety. A box of 00 is small and easily hidden.

If they find it, I would give them a choice of me or the 00. No way am I going to stay in a place where they're idocy has made me defenseless AND in direct danger.

lee n. field
May 14, 2004, 04:31 PM
I agree completely with Wildalaska. My Louisville Slugger never let me down. Aluminum is easier to control than wood and lighter(faster) than wood.

Ah, but wood makes a much nicer sound when it hits. None of this hollow "tunk!" noise. :D

(I think either will do the job.)

May 14, 2004, 04:32 PM
EMERGENCY! Get their heads out of the sand. A scumbag has their lives in the palm of his hands. Call the bank and cancel all credit and debitcheck cards issued by them, close ALL accounts and change direct deposits. Change all automatic withdrawals too. Contact social security immediately and stop/notify of new bank account numbers and get new social security card. Notify DMV and get new driving license WITHOUT SS #. Call all credit card issuers and notify of the theft. Your parents are liable for charges incurred by the thief otherwise. Notify any investments, retirements and others that your mother had her IDENTITY stolen. Contact a locksmith to rework the locks and make new keys on an emergency basis. Get a baseball bat. Your parents should contact an electrician about installing perimeter motion sensing security lighting. Your mother needs a smaller purse with a lanyard to carry with her. You should also cancel and replace telephone, cell phones and long distance phone cards. Do your parents drive a nice car? I have known snatchers to sell popular car keys with address to car thieves. The thieves like the deals, they have the remote entry, the keys and the address.

May 14, 2004, 05:02 PM
i've said it before.....

hope is NOT a strategy for self defense.

"i HOPE i wont get carjacked."
"i HOPE i wont get raped."
"i HOPE i wont get killed."
"i HOPE that guy who mugged me wont come to my home and do me harm."

May 14, 2004, 05:08 PM
Makes no sense that you say the locks won't be changed. Change your locks now and post some watch. He might not strike now while he knows its hot, but he will explore. He is probably is or has been "casing" the spot to see the behaivior of the location. Be random, use situational awareness and change your locks. If something else happens because you didn't change your locks, everyone will be like - "Why didn't you change your locks?" since you know he has the keys. Do everything in your power to not use the last resort as you seem to be eluding too here. By the sounds of it all of you are ill prepared and not of the mindset to properly handle this situation.

Stop thinking like a victim and take control of the situation! Lighting, locks, clear brush and limbs from areas of hiding. Promote growth and obstacles under windows and other areas. Have mace, baseball bats, knives, etc. if you cannot use firearms. Don't use firearms if you and those around you living there are not a team and fully understand this. Saying this though, a firearm without ammunition is a stick and a liability.

May 14, 2004, 05:17 PM
No offense but your parents aren't thinking like rational folk.

Do all that was mentioned above and CHANGE THE LOCKS!

They are probably right, that person won't be the one that shows up at the house. They will sell the keys and the address.

Someone home all day long?

If not, say goodbye to all the goods in the home (unless your neighbors keep a lookout and are home all day).

It's beyond stupid not to change the locks IMNSHO. Oh, your shotgun is now in danger of being taken and used against someone in an act of crime, which means that that puppy is GONE if they get ahold of it, even if the cops recover it.


May 14, 2004, 05:34 PM
Absolute MINIMUM -

credit cards - You DO have a list of all of them, right ??
drivers license
SS #

CHANGE THE BLOODY LOCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW

House/car/shed EVERYTHING !!

This 'person' will SELL what he has, - INFORMATION
and ACCESS - to someone else who WILL use it (why else
would they buy it from him - sentimental value ??!!!)

Get a credit report from all 3 agencies and have your
'account' with them 'flagged' so that
NEW credit cards/accounts CANNOT be opened without
you being notified.

The 'identity thieft' may not occur for a while but my money
would be on - it WILL occur - and when it does, you need to
be ready.

Sounds like you are living with people who still believe
that everyone is really a 'good person' just misunderstood
and really harbor no ill will toward their fellow man.
A lot of this belief comes from religions - well intended
but horribly misguided and dangerous.

There are people in this world who will kill you just for
the 'fun' of it.

Good Luck

May 14, 2004, 06:13 PM
Go buy or borrow some shotgun shells and don't tell them. It only take's one slug to the head.

May 14, 2004, 06:13 PM
Everything has been canceled, and I drove her to the DMV (across from the local general store where I was gonna get some buckshot :() where she got a new license (WITHOUT her SSN). She will contact SS. All these type of things have been taken care of. I'm not sure if they think our house is safe because we live a few miles out of town, but to me it just screams ISOLATED TARGET, NO NEIGHBORS WATCHING, POLICE 20 MINUTES AWAY. I cannot fathom why they say they aren't going to change the locks. I don't care how much you don't want a loaded firearm in your home, not changing the locks when a criminal has the keys and your address is just plain STUPID. I'm at a loss. I've been talking to them about it, and brought up some of the points made here. Of course, I'm going to keep pressing the issue. Hell, I'll pay for it if I have to. Another point is that this criminal knows where she parks her car (a Nissan Altima) every day, and has the keys.

I've got a nice Ka-Bar knife around, I guess that's about the best I can do for defense for now. *sigh*

May 14, 2004, 06:21 PM
<P>go to the range :D , plug 1 target really good. Bring it home and put it outside near an area visable to people near the front door. Cough up the 50 or so bucks to change the locks for them. Is your parents bieng ignorant(not trying to belittle parents) gonna make you look the other way? Obviously they trust that GOD will protect them, well we highroaders know that while GOD is great, 230 grain cruse missles also do the good lords work.<P>

Stay safe, Santos

Gordon Fink
May 14, 2004, 07:06 PM
Changing the locks was standard procedure after keys were merely lost, in my family. Often, the lost keys would be found years later. It’s a common-sense precaution.

~G. Fink

May 14, 2004, 07:08 PM
Figure out where they put their keys when they come home. Late at night, when all are asleep (except for you), go around to every lock on the house and change it yourself. Then get their keys, remove the old one, and slip on the replacement. You'll be tired the next day, and safe(r).

Either that, or keep a box of 00 on your windowsill outside. :p

May 14, 2004, 07:44 PM
I don't even know how to respond to that.....................

May 14, 2004, 07:51 PM
I've got to know their reasoning for not changing the locks. I've tried and tried and tried to think of anything approaching valid, but I've failed. And I used to hide all sorts of crap from my folks when I lived with them. It can't be hard to hide 5 rounds of 00. Hide it well enough, and the only time they find out about is when they'll be thanking you for having it.

May 14, 2004, 08:05 PM
If I had a nickle for every item I brought into the house that was expressly forbidden when living with my parents, I'd have been able to buy my own home by the time I was 16.

Get some 00 buck for the scattergun and keep your mouth shut about it (if it makes you feel better, unload the gun when you're not home).

May 14, 2004, 08:19 PM
MJRW is right. Get some 00 buck and put it somewhere out of sight but retrievable. IF nothing happens, then take it when you move (no harm done). IF something happens then there will not be much of an argument, will there?

And if they do find it, what are they going to do? Kick you out? You might be better off if they do.

I certainly understand the need to respect the rules of the home. However, I think the safety of everyone in the home under these circumstances justifies breaking that rule.

If my wife's purse was stolen and she lost everything that you mentioned. There would be many sleepless nights waiting up with a loaded firearm in hand.

I can only give you an opinion based on what I would do in that type of situation. Actually, it is hard for me to imaging being in that type of dilemma. If this had happened back when I lived at home, there would have been 3 people waiting up at night. My Step dad with his 30/30, My Mom with her .357, and me with my 20 gauge (I miss that shotgun) all with live ammo.

Watch your back and good luck.


May 14, 2004, 08:43 PM
OK, your parents don't want to change the locks...
Get a friend over when your parents are out.
Hide TV, VCR, CD, cameras etc in a closet or basement.
Pull all drawers out, and put them on the floor. (Don't dump them, as it will be waay to much work to pick up).
Move furinture around, tip chairs over and fold carpets up.
Make sure you are home when your parents return, and leave the door wide open.
Just sit on the floor when they walk in, and say nothing but: "I think you should have changed the locks!"
Give them a few minutes to start panic, and stop them from calling the cops.
Now you can say that it was you, and tell them to get the locks changed, because next time it will be for real.
Now you clean up, and hopefully your parents will have been taught a valuable lesson.

Oh, and get some shells and hide them.

May 14, 2004, 09:18 PM
Sometimes you gotta break the rules.

Reality is for real. Dead is forever.

I keep a set of spare dead bolt locks handy - one of my life experience dealies.

I won't identify the young lady, but a certain anti -gun momma sure got over the fact a) her key no longer fit daughters rental ,and b) though she didn't have to use the single bbl shotgun " that appeared" *ahem* because LEO responed quickly when the ex husband showed up drunk and high and was trying to get in. Daughter hid out, sought cover after the ex-husband fired the first round into the abode. Then decided to shoot up the girls car.

Mom and daughter still disagree,on some things. Some they NOW- agree on . Momma did not get upset when daughter bought a handgun and took CCW class...she was right beside her doing the same thing.

Concealed means concealed. Applies to other things than a particular weapon.

May 14, 2004, 09:53 PM

You're adopted, right? ;)

May 14, 2004, 10:02 PM
If they're halfway decent locks a locksmith can just change out the cylinders - the part the key goes in. It's not as expensive as replacing everything.

If they're not halfway decent locks, then get some. :)


May 14, 2004, 10:19 PM
I do believe in following the rules in someone else's house, but this is too much when you're trying to protect yourself and them. At the very least I'd get some shells for that SG and at night it would be loaded.

May 14, 2004, 10:19 PM


Just having spares in the event an "immediate action" is warranted is nice.

Like a long holiday weekend,not wanting to pay overtime fees.
Young, broke abused female scared out of her wits.

Ironically , I was about to leave my apt recently, and I heard a "snick" as I opened my door from inside. My lock broke, lucky for me I had a spare, installed and headed to class.

Apt mgr was out of pocket...so at least I could lock up and head out. I would not have felt comfortable leaving my apt unlocked.

Apt mgr gave me a new lock, keyed as needed...still got a backup.

May 15, 2004, 01:05 AM
I'm lucky about where i live. I will be 20 on may 21, and I have some bad crud going through me, Lyme Disease, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, arthtic bone spur in each knee and some other things. My parents are great people, my dad's a retired sheriff's officer and my mom's a preschool teacher. I don't have my driver's liscence yet so they drive me around, I had a hearing for disability and they toke me there about 5-6 hours total. I would not change a thing at all, except for not being sick that is. My parents seem to understand that it makes me feel better to shoot firearms, refinish them tinker with them etc.. so they let it be. If something like that happened all the locks would be changed, possibly some other things installed, and the dog would have company in the living room. Would a dog be something your parents would let you get? And I agree with what everyone else said, get some buckshot. There is nothing more worthless then a gun without ammo. However it goes good luck.

May 15, 2004, 02:34 AM
Locks are cheap. As others have said I keep spare locks on hand. sister/her Ex broke up he moved out I changed locks. Locks break/replace. Locks are easy to rekey. Take this chance to key all exterior locks to one key.
Talk to cops and have them tell your parents to rekey doors/car/etc. Mention the Insurance company will likely NOT pay in this case. Most times you are required to take normal procautions. They are not.

May 15, 2004, 02:56 AM
I'm surprised your mom actually cancelled her credit cards. I would have expected her to say, "well, he PROBABLY won't go around charging things..." :D

Seriously. I totally agree on every aspect of this. If your parents want to be blind to real life risks, maybe there is nothing you can do to sway them. But, you have every right to at least protect your own life. Go buy some shells, and at the very least, do something about the locks. It's completely INSANE not to.

Seriously, if that happened to me, the locks would be changed, and I would still be paranoid. I would probably tie cans or something noisy to every door, and by every window, and sleep with a loaded gun right next to me for at least a couple weeks.

Good luck.

May 15, 2004, 04:55 AM
Change the locks!

Buy some buckshot!

Not necessarily in that order.

Splat Shot
May 15, 2004, 03:10 PM
Allow me to tell you a brief true story:

15 years ago I was at a party with some of my buddies. A week earlier the girl who lived next door had her purse stolen at the college where she was attending. The college was about 120 miles away so she was home visiting her parents. Her ID and keys to her parents house were taken.

So while we are having a good time at the party, the phone rings at my friends house and its the girl next door who is absolutely screaming into the phone that someone is coming into her house using the keys that were stolen. She was on one side of the door and the robber/rapist was on the other trying to get in. She was holding the lock closed while he was forcing the key. She stopped him at the front door, then he ran around to the back door and tried again. Why she did not call 911 I do not know, but its a good thing she didn't because me and about 3 other guys ran next door immediately. Once he saw us coming he took off down the street, climbed into his car and floored it. We chased him but it was too late, he had too much of a lead.

THIS GUY DROVE 120 MILES TO KIDNAP, RAPE OR ROB THIS GIRL. Get the locks changed and get some ammo NOW.

May 16, 2004, 12:04 AM
Ask yourself this,what would upset your parents more finding out that you bought some ammo to protect the home,or having some low life break into your home and possibly kill one of you. get some ammo,and if there is a homeles shelter in your city,you might want to scout it out because you may just find the creep. Good luck

May 16, 2004, 12:06 AM
You posted here in hope of getting some advice. You've gotten it... over and over and over again. If for some reason you still haven't followed it then may I offer this little tidbit: GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!!! Do not finish reading this. Go directly to the store and get 1) ammo, and 2) new locks. If you feel bad about mommy and daddy being offended by your actions, consider how you'll feel when you have to ID their bodies. Do it NOW!!

May 16, 2004, 12:55 AM
I gotta agree with OldFart. Sometimes the old farts know better...:p

May 16, 2004, 01:18 AM
When someone tells me to do something silly, no matter who they are, I simply ignore them.

May 16, 2004, 10:40 AM
Nightfall, thank you for loging onto THR.
You will be missed when your computer gets stolen and you can't join us.

Why have you been so quiet lately? Has your house already been burglarized?

May 16, 2004, 11:16 AM
You must stop supressing your emotions oldfart.
Tell us how you really feel. ;)

May 16, 2004, 09:48 PM
Problem most likely won't be the jerk who stole them, he can be identified. It will be the crystal meth freaks who he sold them to with the address who will drive by a few times to check out what cars are/are not there and when, what you and parents look like, maybe follow you/parents to work, school, church, then clean you out when they know no one is there. But then they might not wait until they know.


May 17, 2004, 07:58 PM
Just wanted to give this thread a good final note (somewhat). It took 4 days, but they finally changed the locks. Maybe my repeated comments over the weekend helped. ;)

May 17, 2004, 08:18 PM
Congrats. Now how bout that buckshot? :D

May 17, 2004, 08:30 PM
No offense, but where'd you get your intelligence from? Obviously not your mother.

Unsavory characters, looking for hand outs, so she leaves her purse alone with one of them? Not real bright.

Unsavory characters, stole her purse which gives him an address AND keys to the address, but she doesn't want anything done to protect herself? Even less bright, if that's possible.

May 17, 2004, 08:55 PM
Unsavory characters, looking for hand outs, so she leaves her purse alone with one of them? Not real bright.
She did leave it inside her desk, but unlocked. Personally, I would have locked it. I'm sure she won't make the same mistake twice.

Unsavory characters, stole her purse which gives him an address AND keys to the address, but she doesn't want anything done to protect herself?
The chances of her voluntarily keeping defensive measures of any type are only slightly higher than me convincing her of the validity of being prepared for violent criminals. To her it's all crazy paranoia propagated by the evil NRA. :rolleyes: She's very book smart, but her common sense on this issue leaves a bit to be desired. I've regularly posted work by Oleg on the bulletin board for her to see on her way to work, and recently posted a multi-page argument on the original intent of the Second Amendment. It all goes in one ear, and out the other as they say. She'll nod and listen, but not really hear me. Her mind has been made up for decades, and she really, really doesn't like guns. She doesn't even keep pepper spray. All the logic in the world won't reach her on this subject, as her mind is already made up.

To those dimmer than a 5 watt bulb, she's pretty dang liberal. :p

May 17, 2004, 11:13 PM
I know how that is, with my parents.

Mom still doesn't quite get it, but is improving.

Dad was happy there was a shotgun in his hands when we almost needed it, especially since it took one hour for the police to arrive.

So, how about that buckshot?

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