[..]

My current load is the new Speer Gold Dot 130gr+P and I know it's gonna be too stiff for the Wife. What's good in standard pressure?

[bpisler]

The 3 that come to mind right off is the hornaday 125,140 or 158gr XTP jhp
federal 110gr personal defense HS or the federal 125gr nyclad's if you can find them.

[Paul "Fitz" Jones]

By taking your spouse to the range often and having her practice with standard factory loads she can develop her competency with loads the weapon was designed for like a Smith J frame.

Accurately placed shots with standard loads will not intimidate most ladies and I would recommend their carrying the loads they practice with so they can be comfortable in firing subsequent shots as needed.

Fitz retired
Police Weapons Instructor

[wally]

Let her learn to shoot the wimpiest loads she finds most comfortable and develop confidence to make that first shot count. Then load for carry the most potent ammo the gun can handle.

If more than one shot is needed, the adreniline rush will make the extra recoil, blast and flash moot.

No need to worry about feeding or limp wristing on a revolver. You should make sure the bullets don't pull out under recoil (when she's not there) if using +P in a Titanium or Scandium gun.

--wally.

[tbeb]

My wife is not into guns. However, she does not object to having a loaded one in the house. She shot a .38 special+P Safestop 148 gr. LWC that did 900-950 fps from a 4" barrel. She shot a .38 special+P Federal Classic
Hi-Shok 125 gr. JHP that did about 950 from a 4" barrel. I asked her what load she wanted to use. She chose the Federal. She handles it easily, but her gun has an empty weight of 32 ounces.

I feel the best standard pressure load for self defense is the discontinued Federal Nyclad 125 gr. lead hollowpoint. This load was developed for 2" barrels. Velocity from a 2" is about 750 fps (and about 850 from a 4"). 250 rounds from ammoman.com costs $125.00, shipping included.