So France Isn't Backing Us


Still Learning
February 13, 2003, 11:47 PM
This was on a local newscast tonight:

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordian.

Well said, sir.

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February 13, 2003, 11:50 PM
The only good thing to come out of France is the French Foreign Legion..

That's it..:banghead:

February 14, 2003, 12:07 AM
Some have accused Bush of using Iraq for political gain. Well, there is no doubt that what is happening in France is all about politics.

Right or wrong the U.S. doesn't need the approval of a country that owes us their very existence. They like to demonize the U.S. forgetting that before they could fly their flag again over France the U.S. had to remove the nazi one that was flying in it's place.

Many U.S. soldiers that fought to liberate France are still with us today. France should hang its head in shame.

Just my opinion.


February 14, 2003, 12:23 AM
french bashing is almost as fun for me as Canada bashing!! is some good french stuff to enjoy before this thread gets closed:


The Complete Military History of France

- Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

- Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War - Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?" but rather "How long until they collapse?"


Going to war without France is like going Deer hunting without your accordion.

In today's "The Federalist" they published some readers' completions of the thought,

"Going to war without the French is like..."

Here are some excerpts:
Going to war without the French is like...

...going to war WITH the French.
...boarding a submarine without a parachute.
...taking a shower without the blow dryer.
...planning the Normandy Invasino without Yves San Laurent.
...going on your honeymoon without your mother-in-law.
...a beauty contest without Ivan Rasputin.
...a Rolling Stones concert without Bill Clinton's remarks.
...a 9-11 benefit concert without Hillary Clinton.
...going into the ninth inning without your place-kicker.
...government schools without the NEA.
...negotiating without Jimmy Carter.
...not having to worry about the enemy doing an end-run around your eastern flank.
...a picnic without ants and flies.
...starting a ballgame without Roseanne Barr.
...Texas barbeque without a croissant.
...going to the Moilin Rouge without Rosie O'Donnell.
...flying without an anchor.
...I'm sorry... war without whom?
...going to Marine boot camp without a "Best of Liza Minelli" album.
...going to a MENSA convention without James Carville.
...going to war without Fonda, Streisand, Sarandon, et al.
...going to France without a war. What's the point?
...a Super Bowl party without pate fois-gras.
...a starting lineup without PeeWee Herman.
...eating Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, snails, and Spam, but without the snails.
...going to Tahiti without your snowshoes.
...well, VICTORY!


the best for last

French Disneyworld ordered to stop using fireworks due to it causing the French military to repeatedly attempt unconditional surrrender and complete confusion over which flag to run up the pole.

February 14, 2003, 12:44 AM
Stop dissing the French!

How do you spot a French tank?

It has backing lights on it.

February 14, 2003, 12:52 AM
Great compilation, dude! :neener:

February 14, 2003, 03:31 AM
I heard the newest French tanks have 5 reverse gears and 1 forward gear. Just in case they get attacked from behind.

February 14, 2003, 05:26 AM
very good list of Frog excuses for warfare but he forgot the war we fought with France for 3 years when England and France went back at it about 1800. The Frogs gave up on that one right after Trafalger. If command and contol was what it is now there would have been a few US navy battle ships of the line at Traflager too. Ahh the first "cold war" the US was ever involved in too. Full scale navy war but no marines on a beach.

February 14, 2003, 07:24 AM
France isn`t going to back us? Damn! I guess we`ll have to find someone else to do the cooking.

February 14, 2003, 07:39 AM
I think they're also forgetting about the time we bailed them out on their failing economy. it's funny how the US goes around sending financial aid and food to all these less fortunate (or in frances case, stupid) countries and it's an expected thing, but if the US is in trouble nobody seems to remember the help we've given them.

deputy tom
February 14, 2003, 09:30 AM
"The only good thing to come out of France is the French Foreign Legion.."end quote

As I understand it the Legion is made up of Non- French personell.tom.

February 14, 2003, 09:51 AM
The only good thing to come out of France is the French Foreign Legion..

And my wife.


Bottom Gun
February 14, 2003, 10:07 AM
The latest issue of the French Military magazine:

February 14, 2003, 10:43 AM
I don't see the justification for all of this France bashing. Remember, "France has always been there for us, when they needed us".;)

February 14, 2003, 01:27 PM
Can't you understand? They cannot support us, they are busy to make custard!

February 14, 2003, 05:51 PM
Why should we expect the French to help us fight Iraq? The French didn't fight the Germans when they were invading France.

February 14, 2003, 07:09 PM
You people are mean. ;)

Since all the other French bashing threads are locked, I'm doing the same to this for consistency......

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