The new Assault Motor-Vehicle Ban


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sevenpoint62mm
July 30, 2004, 09:41 PM
Bill 1d10T: Assault Motor-Vehicle Ban

Due to the staggering number of deaths each year attributed to motor vehicles the following bill has been passed into law. Based on the ideal that citizens no longer can control their primal urges and conform to social conscience. As such this bill will help reduce yearly deaths by making vehicles safer both for those inside and outside of the vehicle. In addition measures in this bill have been taken to reduce chances of distractions for drivers and that a vehicle will be used in a gang-related crime.
Starting August 30th 2004 the following bill shall be enforced. Below are the definitions, as written, in the United States Code:
Title 23, Chapter 76, Section 1021 of the United States Code states::
1. All motor vehicles are prohibited from import into US.
2. All motor vehicles made within the US will be restricted to those with a maximum speed of 30 miles per hour, a maximum horse power rating of 80, and a maximum number of transmission gears not exceeding two.
3. Any of the following new models, or copies or duplicates of vehicles have been banned:
· Ford Mustangs, Thunderbirds, and those with designated “GT’s”
· Chevy Corvettes, Camaros, and those with designated “GT’s”
· Pontiac GTO, Sunfire, and those with designated “GT’s”
4. All motor vehicles with a high capacity fuel tank (greater then 10 gallons) are prohibited.
5. All motor vehicles with a fuel efficiency less then 35 miles per gallon are prohibited.
6. All motor vehicles with a manufactured weight of 700 lbs or more when the vehicle is loaded and occupied by no less then one person are prohibited.
7. All motor vehicles with fully automatic transmissions are prohibited.
8. All motor vehicles with a shift grip that protrudes conspicuously above or beside the action of the transmission.
9. All motor vehicles purchases require a background check from the FBI. Felons and those with prior history of domestic abuse and/or speeding shall be denied.
10. All motor vehicles without each of the following are prohibited:
· Side impact beams
· Frontal air bags (both sides)
· Rear air bags (both sides)
· Side headrest air bags (both sides, front and back)
· Frontal crunch zones
· Child door locks
· Seat belts that allow child seats
· Nerf-style soft rubber frontal and rear bumpers
11. All motor vehicles with two or more of the following are prohibited:
· Lap-only seat belts
· Hoods designed to accommodate a bug suppressor
· Exhaust systems designed to accommodate a sound suppressor (ie a muffler)
· A shroud that is attached to, or partially or completely encircles a hood (aka a car bra)
· Metallic front grills
· Roll cage (internal or external)
· Tow winches
· Tires greater then 15 inch diameter
· Wheels painted, colored, or chromed
· Radio, tape decks (cassette or 8 track), mini disc players, Cd and/or Dvd players
· Tint (internal or external)
· Bucket seats
· Racing or pin strips
· Engines greater then 4 cylinders and/or 2 carburetor barrels
· Fuel injection
· Brake systems other then ABS antilock

10. In addition to the above a civilian without a prior felony conviction using a motor vehicle to commit a felony speeding offense will receive another Class C felony. This is based on the ideal that a law abiding citizen should know better then to use a vehicle recklessly. This statue however does not apply to prior felons.

11. Operation of above motor vehicles while exceeding the set national speed limit of 30 miles per hour with a class C felony punishable by fines and confinement not exceeding 10 years and/or 10,000 dollars.

12. The above statues do not apply to law enforcement, military or members of the senate. Theft of an above party’s vehicle is a class C felony in addition to any charges of grand theft.



For all those liberal Democrats that compare gun laws to blanket traffic laws that punish all. :D

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Standing Wolf
July 30, 2004, 10:11 PM
Well done!

TallPine
July 30, 2004, 10:28 PM
:D

Kharn
July 30, 2004, 10:57 PM
They can have my SUV when they pry the keys from my cold, dead hands. :rolleyes:

Or when I cant find a parking spot big enough for a 4x4 Blazer. :uhoh:

Kharn

ny32182
July 30, 2004, 11:32 PM
The only part I don't like is the part about the automatic transmission... it could lead some to believe that the AWB concerns full auto weapons.

joe sixpack
July 31, 2004, 12:51 AM
Good job!

cheers, ab

sevenpoint62mm
July 31, 2004, 01:39 AM
The only part I don't like is the part about the automatic transmission... it could lead some to believe that the AWB concerns full auto weapons.

AWB forbids semi-auto versions of full auto weapons. Not a direct compare but some points of likeness.

DrPsycho
July 31, 2004, 06:30 AM
You forgot the bit about the ban on hood scoops, third party fibreglass bodykits and wings.

Kharn
July 31, 2004, 08:09 AM
DrPsycho:
That is all covered under the previously-passed Import Ban. :neener:

Kharn

TechBrute
July 31, 2004, 10:17 AM
Sweet!!!

Now my pickup is as evil as my AR!!!

Incidentally, what existing car is drivable under this new legislation?

jpIII
July 31, 2004, 12:46 PM
One of the evil features needs to be a folding back seat!:neener: :neener:

ietrash
July 31, 2004, 07:51 PM
Provisions for mounting an EVIL receiver hitch
:what: :neener:

Zach S
July 31, 2004, 09:44 PM
Incidentally, what existing car is drivable under this new legislation? theres not one, thats the point. Dont worry though, sooner or later carmakers will circumvent the law and have the antis foaming at the mouth again.

TechBrute
July 31, 2004, 10:44 PM
theres not one, thats the point. No worries, my truck is pre-ban. Good maintenance and some TLC will keep it running for years. :D

Zach S
August 1, 2004, 08:52 AM
My Fairmont is pre-ban as well. But maintenance and TLC? Nope. Its a hot rod, it gets rode hard and put away wet.

7. All motor vehicles with fully automatic transmissions are prohibited. Just what I need, a reason to buy a reverse pattern manual valvebody for my C4. Hmmm, I dont see transbrakes mentioned...

benEzra
August 1, 2004, 08:30 PM
You forgot the bit about the ban on hood scoops, third party fibreglass bodykits and wings.
...wings, which are designed to allow a car to slide sideways around corners [insert photo of drifting hachiroku here], enabling them to out-run police and run down children.

(By comparison to the prohibitionist drivel about pistol-grip stocks being designed for "spray firing from the hip.")

Azrael256
August 1, 2004, 09:19 PM
Right, so, I guess my car is totally kosher, then.

mrapathy2000
August 2, 2004, 11:31 AM
think that Assault Motor Vehicle ban needs ammendment requiring all vehicles need to locked into garage or safe. all vehicles not locked into garage or safe much have the boot put on a tire and a club to prevent steering.

oh the horror of Assault motor vehicles. the availibility the lack of background checks could be sold to drunks and mentally ill. they liter are streets. we need bulldozers and tow trucks to clear them.

sevenpoint62mm
August 2, 2004, 09:34 PM
Amendment to Bill 1d10T, statue 455H4T, passed 08/02/2004

Due to continued misuse of motor vehicles under Bill 1d10T all petro-liquid based vehicles made after 08/02/2004 are prohibited. All vehicles made before this time are legal for private use however doing so requires obtaining a CHL (careless hog license). CHL licenses are offered by the state at a cost of $300 after a 15 hour course on the environmental impact of fossil fuels.
Note: A petro-liquid based motor vehicle is a dangerous weapon! Exposure of a petro-liquid based motor vehicle to a minor is a felony offense. All petro-liquid based motor vehicle should be locked up and unloaded of its fuel when not in use. All petro-liquid based motor vehicles should be considered “loaded” with fuel when handled. Leaving a vehicle loaded with fuel when unattended is consider irresponsible and may result in revoking of your CHL license and/or imprisonment.
Vehicles made after this date must uses natural gas, fuel cell, or electrical batteries.

In addition to the above statues under article 11. All motor vehicles with two or more of the following are prohibited:
· Vehicles of the colors pink, orange, purple, or lime.
· Vehicles a peace officer deems “gangsta” style.
· Vehicles a peace officer deems “big pimpin’” style.
· Vehicles a peace officer deems “weak” or “ghey” style.
· Any vehicle equipped with “fuzzy” dice and/or dashes with fringe trim.
· Any vehicle with hydraulics unless used in the brake system or on a vechile used by a professional licensed towing service.
· Vehicles with lettering, decals, or bumper stickers unless said is supporting a political party.

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