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A Bill To Regulate The Hunting And Harvesting Of Attorneys

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Zorro, Jan 9, 2003.

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  1. Zorro

    Zorro Member

    Dec 24, 2002
    A Bill To Regulate The Hunting And Harvesting Of Attorneys

    372.01 -Any person with a valid state rodent or armadillo
    hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for
    recreational and sporting (non-commercial) purposes.

    372.02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is
    permitted. The use of United States currency as bait is,
    however, prohibited.

    372.03 -The willful killing of attorneys with a motor
    vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance
    being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally
    struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be
    removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to
    the nearest car wash.

    372.04 -It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys
    from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.

    372.05 -It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE",
    or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

    372.06 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards
    of BMW, Mercedes, or Porsche dealerships, except on
    Wednesday afternoons.

    372.07 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of
    courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs or

    372.08 -If an attorney gains elective office, it is not
    necessary to have a licence to hunt, trap or possess the

    372.09 -It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a
    reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor, or tax
    accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

    372.10 -Bag Limits Per Day:

    Yellow-bellied Sidewinders: 2
    Two-faced Tort-feasors: 1
    Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators: 3
    Horn-rimmed Cut-throats: 2
    Minutiae-advocating Chickens: 4
    Honest Attorneys: 0 (Protected, Endangered
  2. Gewehr98

    Gewehr98 Mentor

    Dec 24, 2002
    Didn't see a bag limit posted...

    For ambulance chasers or personal injury lawyers, ie. Jacoby & Myers, etc.

    Speaking of which, how does one properly prepare a freshly-taken attorney? Smoked, stewed, BBQ?
  3. Preacherman

    Preacherman Elder

    Dec 20, 2002
    Louisiana, USA
    Gentlemen, whilst this is indeed very funny, it's a bit too much for The High Road. Much as we may dislike certain members of society, we can't advocate or support calls for killing them. Sorry, but I'm going to have to close this. (Still, ROFL!!! :D )
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