Conceal from... your kids?

[buck460XVR]

Kids are smarter and more observant than most of us give them credit for. If you are as open about guns with your family as you say and carry daily, I have my doubts that you oldest does not know already. Intentionally hiding it from him and lying about it when he asks is teaching him it is okay to lie and will make him wonder if you are hiding things from him cause they are wrong. If they know you are carrying and that there's a good reason not to "out" you, that possibility, even as slight as it is, is gone. Even a subtle "mommy, why does daddy have his gun with him?" in a crowded store is not a good thing.

 

[Magic_Man]

Not the same, but after 2 of my friends decided to talk about me carrying concealed, WHILE WE'RE OUT IN PUBLIC, I am not going to tell anyone that doesn't already know I carry. Too risky.

 

[brassdog]

If you treat it as a normal, everyday thing you won't have problems with the kids. What causes problems is when guns, knives, the bench grinder, etc. has been mystified beyond the status of any other every-day item. Kids don't get excited about the lawnmower, but they also know it's dangerous and shouldn't be played with or used for chopping lettuce.

My wife had a co-worker who was a single mom raising a 10 year son. They were invited over to our girls' birthday party and that boy was absolutely fascinated with my lawnmower. I was afraid he was going to try and start the thing in the middle of the party. Turns out he never had any exposure to the typical things we take for granted.

Same goes for taking the mystery out of things. Whether its firearms or lawnmowers. My children know I have them and that they can see them if they ask. They also know not to talk about them outside of the house since the schools are zero tolerance and everybody else is an unknown.

 

[smince]

The only person I even know that has a carry permit is a federal judge,

A lot can be read into this statement...perhaps things that shouldn't be read into it...

 

[FranklyTodd]

A lot can be read into this statement...perhaps things that shouldn't be read into it...

Really? I can't think of a thing that could be read into it, but if your imagination is running with it, go for it!

Seriously though, I didn't mean anything interesting, probably no reason for me to have called him out by profession. Just a guy I know, happens to be a judge, took the CCW class and has his permit, elects not to carry. He's one of the three people that knows I carry. We swapped CCW class stories.

If you are as open about guns with your family as you say and carry daily, I have my doubts that you oldest does not know already. Intentionally hiding it from him and lying about it when he asks is teaching him it is okay to lie and will make him wonder if you are hiding things from him cause they are wrong.

buck, I think you might be getting carried away. The kids don't know I carry an amex, either, or what color socks I put on. The kids don't watch me get dressed in the morning (when I strap on) and they don't watch me change out of my clothes when I get home (when I put it away). I carry concealed, so by your logic I'm "intentionally lying" to everyone that sees me? If he asked I would not lie about it - no way! The time he hit it and said "what the heck!?" it was not a serious question to which he expected an answer, he just hurt his hand a little.

If any of the kids had a clue about it they would ask me about it in a second. We have very open communications about everything. This topic just hasn't ever come up because it's concealed carry. My wife rarely sees me arm either, it's just part of my morning routine - she doesn't watch me floss my teeth either... The fact that it hasn't come up is why I started this thread, now that we are this far along and they are getting older I am debating how/when/if to bring it up.

My children know I have [guns] and that they can see them if they ask.

Me too.

 

[RETG]

My kids basically grew up knowing dad carried a gun. I never concealed it in the house. When I returned from work, the coat came off, and the gun was there. To them, it was part of my life, and part of their life.

Heck, my gun was with me in the delivery room when my last child was born. Don't believe he noticed it that day. (Rushed from work to home, from there to the hospital, no time to stop, and no place to safely lock up a gun. So, it went into the delivery room with me.)

They were taught gun safety as early as possible. Shooting a .22 at around five years old, and progressed to larger calibers.

Like someone said, kids are more observant then we give them credit for.

 

[9mmepiphany]

Someone else said deceit is all bad - come on, as adults I think we all keep some aspects of our adult lives from our children, yes?

i'm really making an effort to live honestly since having kids and find that it is returned with honesty...there is very little that we can't talk about...it's just a matter of trust. i've always answered any question they've asked as honestly as they can understand...i just ask for some discretion about "where" they ask their questions. but that's just a personal choice, i don't ask others to live their life that way.

Classic. You're training him well

i'm a product of my childhood. they also have an automatic response should i say "Cover", know the difference between cover and concealment, know which parts of cars will stop bullets and know that the first priority if something "happens" at school is to "get out"

 

[smallbore]

My wife, children, their spouses and my oldest grandchild all know that I carry.

 

[twofifty]

Kids vary in their personalities and maturity.

Good parenting is knowing when a child is ready to take on or accept the next level of responsibility, for example, that daddy CCs and don't go blabbing this all over town. Each family moves along this continuum at its own rate. Some do this well, others not.

It's kind of like in the Army: your briefing will only contain exactly what you or your unit needs to carry out your part of the mission. What concerns the brass is seldom shared with the ranks (even though the latter live or die by it). Family life is kind of like that.

 

[TexasBill]

My kids are all older (youngest is 12) and they all know I carry because I open carry at home. The 12-year-old shares my interest in guns and enjoys shooting and also knows we don't discuss what's under Dad's jacket or shirt when we're out. He also knows that all the guns, except for the one I am carrying, are locked up or secured and that all the ammunition is also locked up.

I count myself as lucky as most of my son's friends come from homes with guns so it's no big deal.

My younger daughter, who is 20, is a bit more liberal than I am (don't read anything into that: she is a good shot and enjoys shooting) and she prefers that her friends not know that I carry, so I just cover up when her friends come over.

 

[smince]

Really? I can't think of a thing that could be read into it, but if your imagination is running with it, go for it!

Well it could have been phrased:

The only person I even know that has a carry permit (besides myself) is a federal judge,

The way you put it sounded to me like you might be having to do what you have to do.

 

[FranklyTodd]

Smince: I see how you could read it that way, but I carry legally.

 

[rhartwell]

Your kids are smarter than you give them credit for. I introduced my kids to my guns at a very early age. My daughter was 3 when she shot her first gun. they learned early that guns were not toys. before 10 they knew how to check rifles and handguns for being loaded or not. They knew how to clean them. I never had a problem because I started them out early. I could have left my gun on the counter and the kids would not touch them. But they knew what to do with them if someone broke in. Give them credit.

 

[Guillermo]

She's very tolerant of my carrying, but far from a fan.

One would think that she would support you being prepared to protect the family.

Thomas Jefferson said something to the effect of "it is not only every man's right but responsibility to go about armed"

 

[rha600]

I have no kids and actuall I don't carr either but I can tell you my experience as a child.

i've been hunting since before I was old enough to have a license to do so. I'd sit in the tree stand with my dad or along the hedge row helping him to look for deer so I've been around guns (and bows) all my life. The guns (shotguns and rifles) were kept in a gun cabinet with sliding glass doors (this was the 1970s, no gun safe) in my parents bedroom. I never felt the need to play with the guns and I knew where they were and how to use them since I was 6. I think the reason I didn't have the curiousity was because I was regularly taken out to shoot them as opposed to being hidden from them.

If you think about it, kids are cursious. If you hid the stove from them and then one day showed it to them they'd probably be just as curious. I'm not saying you should expose them to the guns but I know if I had kids I would expose them to the guns regularly and as much as they wanted to be so as to cure that curiousity.

 

[harmon rabb]

I think I'm going to let my wife read this whole thread and we'll have a discussion about it. She's very tolerant of my carrying, but far from a fan.

that's unfortunate. my wife to be appreciates the fact I'm carrying and always have a weapon ready to protect us.

why is your wife against carrying?

 

[FranklyTodd]

OP here again. Here are some of my thoughts on some previous posts...

why is your wife against carrying?

You'd have to ask her, but she's not on these boards much... She has accepted my decision to carry, but it's not for her. We don't sit around and discuss guns and gun-related topics.

If you think about it, kids are cursious. If you hid the stove from them and then one day showed it to them they'd probably be just as curious. I'm not saying you should expose them to the guns but I know if I had kids I would expose them to the guns regularly and as much as they wanted to be so as to cure that curiousity.

I agree - my kids are regularly exposed to guns; they do not know I CCW.

One would think that she would support you being prepared to protect the family.

Thomas Jefferson said something to the effect of "it is not only every man's right but responsibility to go about armed"

This post is not really on topic and kind of obnoxious. Here's part of Jefferson's wikipedia:

Jefferson was not an advocate of women's suffrage; author Richard Morris wrote, "Abigail Adams excepted, Jefferson detested intellectual women. Annoyed by the political chatter of women in Parisian salons, he wrote home expressing the hope that 'our good ladies ... are contented to soothe and calm the minds of their husbands returning ruffled from political debate.'" While President, Jefferson wrote that "The appointment of a woman to office is an innovation for which the public is not prepared, nor am I."

Might be time to evolve a little there, G.

I introduced my kids to my guns at a very early age.

Me too.

 

[huntme]

i would tell them at about 10 years old that i carry c.w.i would teach them not to touch my carry gun.not to play with my carry gun,not to think about playing with my carry gun.then i would let them shoot my carry gun.then i would show them how good i am with my carry gun.then i would answer any questions they had about my carry gun,then i would tell them that me carring a gun is no ones bussiness but mine.

 

[Guillermo]

This post is not really on topic and kind of obnoxious

Not near as obnoxious as a the one that was obviously posted by one that is arrogant and fatuous as well as displays autocratic tendancies.

Read back, you might be able to figure out which one I reference.

 

[FranklyTodd]

G. - not really interested in your evaluation of what or how my wife should think. Perhaps I attributed a tone to your post that wasn't there, but I read your post as obnoxious and judgmental, stepping over the line for my taste.

Looking at your post count, you post on average roughly twice per day 365 days per year. Maybe you should read more and try to learn from others' experiences and, when relevant, offer your experiences, rather than offer your unconstructive criticism and/or agenda every chance your get, even where it is neither invited nor appreciated.

Let's agree to disagree.

 

[lowracer]

Normal part of everyday life for my boy of 3.5 years. Before we go out he knows to remind Mama to bring: "Keys, Phone, Wallet."

He doesn't need to remind Papa but does: "Keys, Phone, Wallet, Gun."

He hasn't said anything out loud in public. He knows why Papa carries, to protect the family and keep us safe. This is a great comfort to him.

 

[Guillermo]

not really interested in your evaluation of what or how my wife should think. Perhaps I attributed a tone to your post that wasn't there, but I read your post as obnoxious and judgmental, stepping over the line for my taste.

Looking at your post count, you post on average roughly twice per day 365 days per year. Maybe you should read more and try to learn from others' experiences and, when relevant, offer your experiences, rather than offer your unconstructive criticism and/or agenda every chance your get, even where it is neither invited nor appreciated.

one that is arrogant and fatuous as well as displays autocratic tendancies.

Gotta love it when you hit a bullseye

 

[moooose102]

My kids are 8 &6. They both know i carry all of the time. It is just not even an issue. They just know that it is something daddy does to keep them safe. That is how i explained it to them 2 years ago, and after about the first month, they just think it is normal. The problem you have right now is the kids going to school and blabbing it all over. If i were in your position, i would tell them about the thrid day of summer vacation. That way, the amount of other kids they tell will be quite limited, and by the time school comes around, it will not be an issue. I even take it with me when i take them to, or pick them up from school. If i have to go in, i simply lock it in the car. Again, it is just a non issue.

 

[deadeyedog270]

I have a three year old and I carry everyday. I'm a stay at home dad so I play with my son a lot and he knows not to touch my gun. He has never screamed anything in public. I feel safer that it is not a mystery to him that I have a gun and he probably thinks that it is just a normal part of everyday life.

I'm with you I have been a stay at home dad for 7 years now and both my kids know I carry and have never said a thing, guns are a part of there lives and know some basic gun safty

 

[shenandoah]

Let us know how it works out.