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Dating, Marriage, and Guns

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Winchester94, Apr 29, 2006.

  1. Winchester94

    Winchester94 Member

    Thought a couple questions up for your minds to ponder:

    Is gun-owning or at least gun-tolerant a requirement for when you're dating someone or having at least a serious relationship (that may lead to marriage) with them?

    If they are not too happy with guns, is that an excuse to dump them?

    This applies to both males and females, and answers from both sides are welcome. I am just curious about it is all.
  2. WeedWhacker

    WeedWhacker Well-Known Member

    I'll assume you're referencing those who live in the USA. Any American that cares about his/her country and understands how our system of government works should be a supporter of those who wish to keep and bear their own arms. (Heck, it could even be construed from the Declaration of Independence that it is the *duty* of every American to own a firearm.)

    I can't see how it would matter if one of the individual's didn't care for firearms unless they said something along the lines of "either me or the guns go"; then that individual should get the ol' heave-ho.

    Re-education is always an option, too.
  3. LeonCarr

    LeonCarr Well-Known Member

    Yes and Yes

    Maybe that is why I am still single, but why settle?

    Just my .02,
  4. NukemJim

    NukemJim Well-Known Member

    YES & YES

  5. Baba Louie

    Baba Louie Well-Known Member

    Yes. Open mind necessary, as is knowledge of 2nd Amendment (and other BOR's) justification from a historical POV.
    Maybe. IF, if, they have justifiable reasons, it might be worthy of consideration in light of their many other positive attributes. There are way too many other potential partners out there who actually enjoy this one aspect of my life who can and will share in this hobby, this study of arms, the responsibility and freedom that the knowledge & ownership thereof brings. At the very least, wry, amused tolerance is required to get along with moi anyway. I personally would not use the words "dump them"... I'd set her free to find a compatible mate of her own ilk... and hope and pray they don't reproduce like minded little Americans. ;)
  6. Barbara

    Barbara Well-Known Member

    I spend 10-20 hours a week doing gun-related stuff and occasionally get to shoot. Anyone I'd be involved in would have to be at least unopposed, and given my involvement, would probably have to be a real supporter or it would cause problems.
  7. Phantom Warrior

    Phantom Warrior Well-Known Member

    I think those should be basic requirements. My best friend married a wonderful woman who, while she isn't really a shooter, is very tolerant of his hobby and has no problem with him carrying a gun. If you look hard enough, you can find what you are looking for.
  8. redneck2

    redneck2 Well-Known Member

    To those that haven't been the marriage, or multiple marriage route....

    Conflict in this area is just a preview of other conflicts to come. Nearly all women "get" a guy with the idea that "I'll change him". If any women reading this think this is a sexist, harsh, or incorrect statement I'll be happy to point out tons of proof in virtually every relationship I know. It's just so common that women regard it as natural.

    When I point this out to women I know who are PO'd because of the actions of their spouse, the answer is always, and I mean always "well, yeah, but he SHOULD change (or quit doing that, or start doing that) because...

    Men are simpleton creatures of habit that think about food, sex, and sleep in no particular order depending on the time of day and what's going on. Women feel that the guy in their life should think about them 24/7. Guys really think about themselves and what they want to do.

    Throw in a passion for another outside activity that doesn't mesh with what the little woman wants and you've got one more thing she has to change.

    Most women are also emotional nutbags that spend most every minute of every waking day worrying about how they look, what another woman said behind their back, why their husband won't go to the opera (of course he always hated opera, but she's gonna get him to like it). Over 50% of the women in the US are on some type of anti-depressant. I know, my wife works in a medical office.

    Point is, the cards are stacked against you from the start. If you think this is wrong, take a cruise thru the courthouse while divorce proceedings are going on. If there are things you know cause conflict from the start, better have a pre-nuptual. Ain't gonna work. Trust me. Been there, done that, seen it hundreds of times.
  9. Clipper

    Clipper Well-Known Member

    She's out there...

    ...My wife, up until a couple weeks ago, owned more guns than I did. Now we're even...We once went on a handgun hunting date for snowshoe hare!

    ...Barbara, what part of Michigan are you from?
  10. rudolf

    rudolf Well-Known Member

    If you need deny or dump your guns to get her affection you'll be dumping other parts of your life until you don't know who you are anymore. Women who want to change you will make you very unhappy on the log run. Look for one who respects you as you are.
  11. redneck2

    redneck2 Well-Known Member

    As an added note, my newest wife worked overtime and sold part of her vacation back to buy me a Colt SAA and a Browning BPCR. They're out there, just don't go into a relationship thinking "we'll work this out". Actually, the two lawyers will work it out along with the judge

    If you're thinking about getting deeply involved with someone who's values don't mesh with yours from the start, slam your hand in a car door instead. It's less painful.

    One of three things will happen...

    she'll change (chances are slim and none and Slim left town)

    you'll change (which means you give up what you want, but she's got you changed to suit her needs)

    You end up changing spouses
  12. Nortonics

    Nortonics Well-Known Member

    If you get into your hobbies like I do, and guns being a big hobby for me, yet your partner has issues with guns and/or the cost of the hobby, you will be bumming from now to eternity, or at least until the divorce - it's a gimme'.
  13. Ohen Cepel

    Ohen Cepel Well-Known Member

    I always made it clear while I was dating that I was very into firearms and that I was not going to change that portion of my life.

    I just saw it as a matter of honesty. No reason to hide things that later may be an issue. If the lady had an issue with it best for us both that the relationship not go far.

    I wouldn't have gotten rid of my firearms for any of them. Also, I wouldn't have wanted any of them to have given up a major issue for them just to pacify me. That only leads to resentment.
  14. MrTwigg

    MrTwigg Well-Known Member

    You have to pick through the weeds to find a flower.

    Gun-owning requires and open mind at least. It's better if there at least some tolerance, but acceptance is better. As a sole excuse to "Dump Them.", No. You would have to define the "Not too happy" part more.

    My wife knew of my interest in hunting before we became engaged and she was tolerant. By this I mean she understood hunting and owning guns was important to me she was willing to move into my house and not attempt to try to change my views.

    Over time (Now ten years.) she became accepting and while she never once told me "You can't buy another gun!", but she did want to discuss why I felt I needed to buy another one. Not objecting, just attempting to understand why.

    After experiencing a couple of attempted break-in's in our former neighborhood she became more interested in learning to use firearms for self defense, especially so after the birth of our only child.

    As my own interests in firearms expand ( I recently applied for a C&R and have a growing Milsurp collection. ) so has her own interests. My wife now goes plinking with my son and I, she has become competent in using the HD shotgun I keep ready and has expressed interest in obtaining a licence to carry for the first time.

    Some things take time but she’s coming around ! :D
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2006
  15. Hemicuda

    Hemicuda member

    My Girlfriend (of 15 years now) was made aware of my collection and hobby right from day 2 (our second date)...

    at that time, she was basically an anti, but she ubderstood and was tolerant...

    NOW, she owns a couple, outshoots me with a shotgun, and considers my collection her "personal firearms stash"...

    maybe teaching her about guns wasn't the best thing for keeping my collection to myself... but DAMN has it been fun these last few years!

    Yep, i tell them right away, and they had BETTER be tolerant of the guns, at the very least!
  16. Sewerman

    Sewerman Well-Known Member

    When my wife and i were dating she saw my closet full of guns one night and the first thing out of her mouth was "Sam Colt did more for womens rights in this country than NOW ever thought about." I knew right then she was the one for me.
  17. dracphelan

    dracphelan Well-Known Member

    This is one of many things you should discuss before getting serious with anyone. Some of the others are:

    1. Do you want children?
    2. If so, how do you expect them to be raised?
    3. What, if any, changes are expected after marriage?

    I fully believe that the divorce rate would be lower if people would discuss all aspects and expectations of married life before getting engaged.
  18. Pilot

    Pilot Well-Known Member

    Redneck2 nailed it. He is exactly right. Do not compromise away the things you value for any woman.
  19. stevelyn

    stevelyn Well-Known Member

    At least tolerant. I'm not changing for anyone. If a woman thinks I need to change or improve, she needs to shop elsewhere for a different model.

    For a relationship to work, a couple has to have similar core values. Absent those values, you're just wasting your time.
  20. DunedinDragon

    DunedinDragon Well-Known Member

    The way I look at it is this,

    I'm pretty happy with myself. That includes the way I run my life, my hobbies, my interests, etc. I call my own shots in my life and I don't need anyone to tell me how to do things. I've done them just fine for over a half century.

    If a woman thinks she has something to offer and can fit in without being more of a burden than a benefit, she's welcome. But otherwise I know that men will definately have an easier way through life alone than will a woman. I'm perfectly fine going to a bar or a movie by myself. I can take care of myself and not have to worry about some perv trying to rape me. Maybe some women should think about that before they start deciding to make demands on their men.

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