Divorce and guns
- Thread starter Tony50ae
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witchhunter
Member
Been there, had to buy all of my guns back! Several years later you will be glad to have it! You will survive, I know, it doesn't feel like it right now, but it will get better. Good luck.
788Ham
Member
NavyLCDR, I know that feeling very well ! My ex sold 5 of my firearms after I was thrown out, one of them was a NIB Ruger .357, bought on payments, wasn't paid for yet.
I lost a lot in the marriage, beside monetary goods, I am the better for it now, not a drink in 29 years, have a few more firearms than I had then, better too, PLUS, the wife I have now made me forget her in 2 minutes ! Things do get better, keep the mini 14 and shoot the danged thing!
I lost a lot in the marriage, beside monetary goods, I am the better for it now, not a drink in 29 years, have a few more firearms than I had then, better too, PLUS, the wife I have now made me forget her in 2 minutes ! Things do get better, keep the mini 14 and shoot the danged thing!
bobinoregon
Member
One of my ex's got a couple of my guns, miss the guns way more than her.
General Geoff
Member
Painful memories are just as important as happy ones. Without the bad, there is less appreciation for the good.
U.S.SFC_RET
Member
When the writing was on the wall (marriage) I moved every last gun I had out of the house. She didn't get them.
Redlg155
Member
Look at the bright side. It could have been a full portrait tattoo of her...
Just watch a couple episodes of "Tattoo Nightmares" and you will see what I mean.
Just watch a couple episodes of "Tattoo Nightmares" and you will see what I mean.
737Driver
Member
I went through the exact same, I kept all my guns and she kept her two pistols that I had given her as presents.
If the mini brings you happiness then keep it, if it makes you sad get rid of it, but shooting anything brings me happiness no mater where it came from.
I kept a lot of things that will remind me of the good times when I am ready to dig them out of boxes, and I also got rid of a lot of reminders. Box up every picture, and reminder from your daily life for now and add them back later if you want. If in five years you don't want them, then get rid of them. But for now don't make any rash decisions, the stuff doesn't have to go anywhere immediately.
If the mini brings you happiness then keep it, if it makes you sad get rid of it, but shooting anything brings me happiness no mater where it came from.
I kept a lot of things that will remind me of the good times when I am ready to dig them out of boxes, and I also got rid of a lot of reminders. Box up every picture, and reminder from your daily life for now and add them back later if you want. If in five years you don't want them, then get rid of them. But for now don't make any rash decisions, the stuff doesn't have to go anywhere immediately.
Still happily married but I did get my buddy's Maverick 88 12ga after he passed at a young age. I helped his wife sell the others but wanted to keep one around to remember him by. It's hardly a classic gun but it's fun to shoot and it does invoke memories of him.
MachIVshooter
Member
I have never understood this. The only emotion I assign to guns is sentimental value of gifts or heirlooms, and this applies to all such items, not just firearms.
In Sept, I put down my GSD with my Glock 20. I have never hurt like that over an animal before, I literally fell to my knees and cried after I broke the shot. Nonetheless, I do not associate the firearm with the loss. I pulled the trigger, and even though it hurt like hell, still better that he got to go quickly at his home by the hand of his friend and without seeing it coming.
It's not that firearms don't conjure memories for me; Quite the contrary. I have a strange ability to remember with incredible detail the events surrounding the purchase of each and every firearm I own, and also of notable uses of them. But it is a conscious decision to not associate bad memories with an object to the extent that I dislike them. I won't sell the gun I used to put a loved pet down, nor will I throw away the shovel I used to dig the hole or burn the boots and clothes I wore that day, etc.
My first wife once gave me a snubby .38 for Valentine's Day. Hid it in a box of chocolates. I sold it years later, but not because of any memories (it was over 30 years ago and any memories of her are still bad); I just didn't want it any more and wanted to buy something else.
Newcatwalt
Member
Keep the gun and the good memory. As you get older you'll probably have a shortage of both.
You will get over it when you get over her. My ex ran off with her boss and after a short time (very short) I realized she did me a huge favor. Good riddance. Of course I still got screwed on the divorce settlement, but since the sight of her made me ill, it was a bargain. The good news; here I am 23+ years later with a delightful wife and 16 guns at last count. Just ordered a Browning 1911 .22 A1 for said delightful woman. She wants to learn to shoot too. Now if I can just find ammo...........
chez323
Member
Been there and done that, now working on a second divorce. In my first I lost just about everything I owned........ second one is a little more amicable but still costly. She's keeping her guitars and I'm keeping my guns. None of mine have anything to do with the soon to be ex so no issues there. If you like the gun, keep it. If it brings back to many memories than sell it off. The only thing I have that reminds me of my ex to be is that she's now living right next door to me with the guy she left me for. He's an unemployed, ex-con, recovering addict, father of 4 (kids in foster care/my ex hates kids)...... I on the other hand have met a nice women with 2 kids I adore and adore me, I couldn't be happier! Goodluck with the divorce and moving on, don't let it get you down.......
230RN
2A was "political" when it was first adopted.
larryh1108
Non-gun-related:
Ditto here. Divorced in late 80s. Moped around for about two weeks. Finally decided I'd get over it sooner or later, so I might as well make it sooner.
Started dating right away, got over it sooner.
Rather than later.
Gun-related:
It's been a while, but I recall that in some pre-divorce orders, there are built-in "boiler plate" restraining orders. Watch out for them. Don't want to go looking it up, but I believe there was a brouhaha in Texas regarding a guy named Emerson who got nailed on those WRT firearms.
IIRC, it all got straightened out, but it was a real struggle for him in the meantime.
Like including jail time.
Terry
Non-gun-related:
Ditto here. Divorced in late 80s. Moped around for about two weeks. Finally decided I'd get over it sooner or later, so I might as well make it sooner.
Started dating right away, got over it sooner.
Rather than later.
Gun-related:
It's been a while, but I recall that in some pre-divorce orders, there are built-in "boiler plate" restraining orders. Watch out for them. Don't want to go looking it up, but I believe there was a brouhaha in Texas regarding a guy named Emerson who got nailed on those WRT firearms.
IIRC, it all got straightened out, but it was a real struggle for him in the meantime.
Like including jail time.
Terry
wojownik
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Keep the Mini-14 for what it is ... a good tool. Yes, it's got an emotional meaning to you, so maybe someday make that rifle part your the process of moving on ... maybe do something like making it "new to you" by putting a new stock on the rifle or something.
Time heals wounds, yes, but sometimes there are little things you can do to help the process of moving forward.
Time heals wounds, yes, but sometimes there are little things you can do to help the process of moving forward.
WinThePennant
Member
Can someone please tell me how the heck you lose your guns to your wife in a divorce? I can see how it can happen if she steals them, but I don't see how it can happen otherwise.
coloradokevin
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Divorce is a tough thing, period. I've been there and done that.
A few tips:
1) Find a way to divide your assets without lawyers. If you can be amicable, and both get *some* of what you want without screwing the other, you'll come out of the whole process a lot better (and more financially sound). I did my divorce without lawyers about 4 years ago, and I'm still on speaking terms with my ex. I did have to give up a few things I wanted, and she had to give up a few things she wanted. But, we didn't really get hosed on either side.
2) Let the sentimental items remind you of the good times that those items are associated with, but don't let them drive you crazy in thinking about the past. I've certainly got a few nice things that were given to me by my ex, and the same is true for her. I appreciate those things, and they remind me of those particular good moments in my life... but, I don't obsess over them, and act like my life is over because of it. IT TAKES TIME.
3) GOOD LUCK! It sucks for a while, but it gets better. I assure you of that.
A few tips:
1) Find a way to divide your assets without lawyers. If you can be amicable, and both get *some* of what you want without screwing the other, you'll come out of the whole process a lot better (and more financially sound). I did my divorce without lawyers about 4 years ago, and I'm still on speaking terms with my ex. I did have to give up a few things I wanted, and she had to give up a few things she wanted. But, we didn't really get hosed on either side.
2) Let the sentimental items remind you of the good times that those items are associated with, but don't let them drive you crazy in thinking about the past. I've certainly got a few nice things that were given to me by my ex, and the same is true for her. I appreciate those things, and they remind me of those particular good moments in my life... but, I don't obsess over them, and act like my life is over because of it. IT TAKES TIME.
3) GOOD LUCK! It sucks for a while, but it gets better. I assure you of that.
WinThePennant said:
I would imagine in a bitter divorce, a spouse may go after your guns just to spite you. IANAL but if they were purchased while you were together (depending on the state), then half of them could be hers. I'm sure a good divorce lawyer could easily seperate you from a portion of your collection.
Onward Allusion
Member
Assets are assets. Guns are assets and in most States it is equally divided or agreed upon. One party can force the other to sell 'em or give up the cash for 'em. You can imagine that some collections are worth tens of thousands and coughing up that kind of change quickly is tough. That's one way.
Another way is the spouse sell 'em from under you w/o your knowledge. Of course a good lawyer will get the dollars back in the form of a settlement, but hey your guns are gone.
A third way is that one is so distraught that they want to move on and forget about anything to do with the marriage. The object brings a person pain and they need to get rid of it.
I'm sure there are many other ways though.
WinThePennant
Member
If she wants the guns, then why not place a value on them and substitute another asset?
Of course, if she's a total B then all bets are off.
Of course, if she's a total B then all bets are off.
Ehtereon11B
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bobinoregon said:
Ain't that the truth. I bought a Walther P22 for my ex girlfriend for Christmas. She kept it because it was the only one she could load. All 1300 rounds too. Which at today's prices would be great to flip.
Man, I don't see how you guys can put down your own dog with a firearm. I couldn't do that to one of my girls no matter what. I could hold one in my arms while a vet gives "the shot", but not with a gun myself. No way. I'd lose it.
But the divorce thing....that's another reason why I won't get one, I don't want to sacrifice my collection just to get free. I've suffered all these years, what's a few more. This is Colorado, and the man always loses in a divorce.
But the divorce thing....that's another reason why I won't get one, I don't want to sacrifice my collection just to get free. I've suffered all these years, what's a few more. This is Colorado, and the man always loses in a divorce.
coloradokevin
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rondog said:
Yeah, while I suppose people have put down their own dogs for centuries, I had a vet do it when my last dog's day came. I've killed plenty of things over the years, but killing my own dog isn't something I think I could stomach.
As for your marital situation, it sounds like the way one of my coworkers described his: "I'm twenty years into a life sentence, and there's no parole board".
I only lost one gun in my divorce, but I don't really call it a loss. It was a gun I had purchased for my ex (it was hers), but I used it from time-to-time myself as a CCW gun. Just had to go get myself another one after I recovered financially.
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