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I'm a Retro-Guy

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Scanr, May 4, 2007.

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  1. Scanr

    Scanr Well-Known Member

    I could not find this on a search, so here it is:

    I'm a Retro-Guy

    American Handgunner, Sept-Oct, 2005 by Roy Huntington

    In light of all the "retro-this" and "retro-that" it suddenly dawned on me I was a "retro" myself. And, as a matter of fact, so are most of the people I know.

    With today's on-going diatribe about "feelings," and "feng-shui" (whatever that is) and all the other bewildering definitions of people's, shall we say, "leanings," I figured it was time to clear the air a bit. As a general rule, gun-people are usually fairly easy to define as reliable, law-abiding, family folks with fairly clear definitions regarding their roles in life. Moms are, well moms and dads are, well, dads. Kids are kids and moms and dads take care of the kids. At least that's how it was in my house.

    Now not to disparage those of you who have elected to take another track in life. I would like to nonetheless point out some obvious facts regarding most of us who enjoy shooting. I'm not saying if you don't do these sorts of things, you're not a good American; just that you don't fit the basic mold. And that's not a bad thing--usually. Frankly, I'm happy to see anyone out enjoying shooting, hunting, collecting and otherwise messing about with guns and stuff.

    I felt it might be nice to sorta' define what a "Retro-Guy" might be. It would make it easier to simply point at this and say something like: "Ah, here, this is the kinda' stuff I do." Feel free to keep a copy in your wallet to help you over those sometimes awkward moments trying to answer the question: "Why do you do that?"

    The Retro-Guy Code:

    * A Retro-Guy, no matter what the women insists, pays for the date.

    * A Retro-Guy DEALS with IT--be it a flat tire, a burglar, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

    * A Retro-Guy not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

    * A Retro-Guy should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "DEALING WITH IT" portion of The Code.

    * A Retro-Guy is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak tree chipper accident, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay enough attention to you. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT.

    * A Retro-Guy should have at least one good wound he can brag about.

    * A Retro-Guy knows that owning a gun is NOT a sign you're riddled with fear. Guns are TOOLS: See "DEALING WITH IT."

    * When a Retro-Guy is on a crowded bus and ANY woman gets on, that Retro-Guy stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted look on his face.

    * A Retro-Guy will also give up his seat to any elderly person or person in military dress, except officers I above second lieutenant. (NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retro-Guy will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.)

    * A Retro-Guy knows how to say the Pledge properly, and the words to the Star Spangled Banner.

    * A Retro-Guy sharpens his own knives and knows how to use tools.

    * A Retro-Guy owns tools, usually lots of 'em.

    * A Retro-Guy doesn't need a contract--a handshake is good enough.

    * A Retro-Guy will take care of his neighbor's yard when said neighbor is deployed overseas on military duty.

    * A Retro-Guy doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand sometimes--in the process of doing things--we get hurt and just DEAL WITH IT.
  2. Mannix

    Mannix Well-Known Member


    Though I think this is just "guy" code, or at least it was before the pussification of America.
  3. pcosmar

    pcosmar member

    I like it, may I have your permission to pass it along.
    I know others that would like this also.

    Oops you passed it to us. Allrighty then.
    Last edited: May 4, 2007
  4. Gustav

    Gustav Well-Known Member

    I prefer to be called old school or old fashioned but the profile you created fits so I guess retro works.
  5. Scanr

    Scanr Well-Known Member

    Be my guest, I just heard it on the radio and did a quick web search to find it.
  6. BayouTeche77

    BayouTeche77 Well-Known Member

    I thank God that all those things apply to me. At least I know that I am doing things right and can't wait to teach any sons I may be blessed with the same.
  7. Crunker1337

    Crunker1337 Well-Known Member

    I am proud to say that I am NOT a retro guy. I fit some of those conditions, but I do not fit into all of them.
  8. Just don't start referring to yourself as a retro-sexual.
  9. never_retreat

    never_retreat Well-Known Member

    Is guess I can tell all my friends to call me retro insted of a red neck.

    Remember your born a hillbilly, but you can turn into a redneck.
  10. Plink

    Plink Well-Known Member

    It's a shame that such qualities are considered retro. A sign of the times, I guess. Oh well, I've been labelled a lot of things. I guess being called retro isn't so bad.
  11. Gifted

    Gifted Well-Known Member

    I've seen similar things. Always fun to read.

    Why commissioned officers? Only time I could see this is if you can tell he's one of those prick Lts, which I have the pleasure to have never met.
  12. NeoSpud

    NeoSpud Well-Known Member

    Those are my two favorite, by far. :D

    I own enough tools to open my own machine shop, and I have a great deal of personal honor when it comes to fulfilling agreements, regardless of whether they're signed in triplicate or sealed with a handshake.

    ADKWOODSMAN Well-Known Member

    When I read it in AM Handgunner I thought, sounds like all of us who compete with firearms.
  14. Lupinus

    Lupinus Well-Known Member

    my gf is still trying to convince me I dont always have to pay and she can sometimes. Erm, yeah its still not working.
  15. ravnew

    ravnew Well-Known Member

    Retro, now that's the nices thing I've ever been called. :)
  16. dadman

    dadman Well-Known Member

    Retr-Guy and Retro-Sexual, yes.
    Metro-Sexual, negative and no way!
  17. obxned

    obxned Well-Known Member

    Shame there are so few who think this way. Whining and blaming seems to be the fashion these days.
  18. lee n. field

    lee n. field Well-Known Member

    I 'spect I'm "retro". I've got more tools "in transit" on top of my fridge than a lot of people have in their whole houses.

    Uhh. Ummm. Let me think that one through, before I say yea or nay.:scrutiny:
  19. The Unknown User

    The Unknown User Well-Known Member

    I think this is called being a "gentleman."
  20. Heavy Metal Hero

    Heavy Metal Hero Well-Known Member

    And a badass. See "DEALING WITH IT."
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