1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

McDonnell Douglas (Er, gun) Warrenty information

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by BlackArrow, Feb 26, 2003.

  1. BlackArrow

    BlackArrow New Member

    Dec 31, 2002
    Planet Earth
    I'll probably get a locked thread for this but what the heck we all need a laugh!

    McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Information

    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
    protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
    warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not
    required, but the information will help us to develop new products that
    best meet your needs and desires.

    1. Title
    [_] Mr.
    [_] Mrs.
    [_] Ms.
    [_] Miss
    [_] Lt.
    [_] Gen.
    [_] Comrade
    [_] Classified
    [_] Other

    First Name: ............................................

    Initial: ........

    Last Name:..............................................

    Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)

    Code Name:..............................................

    Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................

    2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
    [_] F-14 Tomcat
    [_] F-15 Eagle
    [_] F-16 Falcon
    [_] F-117A Stealth
    [_] Classified

    3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):

    4. Serial Number: ........................................

    5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
    [_] Received as gift / aid package
    [_] Catalogue / showroom
    [_] Independent arms broker
    [_] Mail order
    [_] Discount store
    [_] Government surplus
    [_] Classified

    6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
    Douglas product

    you have just purchased:
    [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
    [_] Store display
    [_] Espionage
    [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
    [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
    [_] Was attacked by one

    7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
    influenced your
    decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    [_] Style / appearance
    [_] Speed / maneuverability
    [_] Price / value
    [_] Comfort / convenience
    [_] Kickback / bribe
    [_] Recommended by salesperson
    [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
    [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
    [_] Backroom politics
    [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

    8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will
    be used:
    [_] North America
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Aircraft carrier
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Africa
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Asia / Far East
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Misc. Third World countries
    [_] Iraq
    [_] Classified
    [_] Iraq

    9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
    intend to
    purchase in the near future:

    [_] Color TV
    [_] VCR
    [_] ICBM
    [_] Killer Satellite
    [_] CD Player
    [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
    [_] Space Shuttle
    [_] Home Computer
    [_] Nuclear Weapon

    10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
    (Indicate all
    that apply:)
    [_] Communist / Socialist
    [_] Terrorist
    [_] Crazed
    [_] Neutral
    [_] Democratic
    [_] Dictatorship
    [_] Corrupt
    [_] Primitive / Tribal

    11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
    [_] Deficit spending
    [_] Cash
    [_] Suitcases of cocaine
    [_] Oil revenues
    [_] Personal check
    [_] Credit card
    [_] Ransom money
    [_] Traveler's check

    12. Your occupation:

    [_] Homemaker
    [_] Sales / marketing
    [_] Revolutionary
    [_] Clerical
    [_] Mercenary
    [_] Tyrant
    [_] Middle management
    [_] Eccentric billionaire
    [_] Defense Minister / General
    [_] Retired
    [_] Student

    13. To help us better understand our customers, please
    indicate the
    interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
    on a regular basis:
    [_] Golf
    [_] Boating / sailing
    [_] Sabotage
    [_] Running / jogging
    [_] Propaganda / misinformation
    [_] Destabilization / overthrow
    [_] Default on loans
    [_] Gardening
    [_] Crafts
    [_] Black market / smuggling
    [_] Collectibles / collections
    [_] Watching sports on TV
    [_] Wines
    [_] Interrogation / torture
    [_] Household pets
    [_] Crushing rebellions
    [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
    [_] Fashion clothing
    [_] Border disputes
    [_] Mutually Assured Destruction

    Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
    questionnaire. Your
    will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
    Douglas serve
    better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive
    mailings and
    special offers from other companies, governments, extremist
    groups, and
    mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this
    survey, you will
    registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder

    Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please
    write to:
    McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department,
    Military Aerospace

    This email is intended for the use of the individual
    addressee(s) named
    above and may contain information that is confidential
    privileged or
    unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
    self-esteem, no sense
    humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the
    recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of
    this email is
    authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes
    social faux pas.

    Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct
    somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any
    legal or
    grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed
    in the
    transmission of this email, although the pit bull next door
    is living on

    borrowed time, let me tell you.

    Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will
    be gratified
    learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading
    this warning
    backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
    However, by
    pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your
    computer you
    ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.

    If you have received this email in error, please add some
    nutmeg and egg

    whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.

    Sure, you can TRUST the Gov't. Ask any Indian.
    :D :D
  2. Erik Jensen

    Erik Jensen Active Member

    Dec 24, 2002
    Detroit. um... Dogg.
    um... not to be nit-picky, but the f14 is made by Grumman, the F16 is made by General Dynamics, and the F117 is made by Lockheed.... not really much McDonnell Douglas aircraft in the list there...

    Aviation Geek signing out... :neener:
  3. Triad

    Triad Active Member

    Dec 25, 2002
    It's on topic

    So what's the warrranty for that 20mm gun?
  4. Kevlarman

    Kevlarman Participating Member

    Dec 26, 2002
    Los Angeles / Kern County Border
    Isn't it Lockheed Martin now?
  5. CatsDieNow

    CatsDieNow Member

    Dec 26, 2002
    Fort Worth, TX
    After the big rash of mergers, it is:

    F-16, F-117 - Lockheed Martin (FKA Lockheed, Martin Marrietta, General Dynamics)

    F-14 - Northrup Grumman (Possibly acquiring TRW soon)

    F-15 - Boeing Company (FKA Boeing and McDonnell Douglas)

    Buy enough companies and you have a rich aviation history ;)
  6. UnknownSailor

    UnknownSailor Active Member

    Dec 25, 2002
    Bremerton, WA
    That brings up an interesting question:

    Who bought Rockwell again? (B-1B)

    Oh, and don't forget the F/A-18 and the AV-8B, both McDonnell Douglas products. Also, the KC-10 and C-17, both from Douglas aircraft. (Part of McDonnell Douglas)
  7. rick458

    rick458 Member

    Dec 28, 2002
    La Porte, Texas
    I can't get the RADIO buttons to work on the survey:mad:
  8. CatsDieNow

    CatsDieNow Member

    Dec 26, 2002
    Fort Worth, TX
    Boeing bought Rockwell International, North American Aircraft and McDonnell Douglas. The B1-B Lancer is not currently in production.

    The fighter planes they currently make are: F/A-18, F-15, and 1/3 of the F-22 (other 2/3 by LM Aero). They also still produce the B-2 Spirit Bomber, the C-17 and C-40A cargo planes. I believe they also make a T-45 trainer and various refueling planes.

    I am just happy they didn't get the F-35 (JSF) contract. That thing they designed was an abomination that no self-respecting fighter pilot would fly. Job security for me too. ;)
  9. TallPine

    TallPine Mentor

    Dec 26, 2002
    somewhere in the middle of Montana
    I assume this falls under the "if the second amendment was actually enforced" category ... ?
  10. M1911

    M1911 Participating Member

    Dec 24, 2002
    Grumman USED to make the F14 -- the production line has been closed for quite a while.

    Are B2s still in production? I thought we'd received all those that had been purchased? I know there has recently been talk about buying some more...

Share This Page