NM: Burrito causes gun scare in school

Status
Not open for further replies.
Mods, I'll understand perfectly well if this crosses the line, but...
I believe a more appropriate term would be "Weapon of Ass Destruction." C'mon, someone had to say it...
 
What! :what: They didn't immediately call the BATF (Burritos, Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms) and have a Reaction Farce (complete with gas masks, of course :p ) attempt to storm the school, be beaten back by the aroma, then just set fire to and raze the building? ;)

After all, it would be 'for the children'. :uhoh:
 
No one needs a 2 1/2 foot burrito. Ban them all! Seriously, how can you eat a burrito that long? A chipotle burrito on steroids for sure. *insert drool icon here*
 
You may laugh, but I've experienced some Burritos that should have been regulated as Class II destructive devices.
Click to expand...
LOL

I was just thinking of some of the other things our kids could bring to school that could scare the whackos (and I mean only the nambly pambly whackos because anyone else would have asked, "hey kid what you got there") into believing it is a long arm. Here is my list so far:

Large Rolled Up Map (for Geography class)

Rolled Up Painting (for Art class)

Baseball bat (or after school sports)

Telescope (for science class)

Fishing pole (for after school activity)

Super long hero sandwhich (for class party or maybe for lunch if he is a really big kid)

Shower towel rolled up long/funny (for gym).

I wonder how many of the youngsters will be bringing in items like this for the next few days/weeks/months just to stir the pot?

All the best,
Glenn b
 
Seriously, I'm surprised that when the kid whipped out his burrito he didn't get tasered OC sprayed and cavity searched.
 
With apologies to Monty Python:


Sgt.:
All right, burritos.

(All sigh.)

Sgt.:
We haven't done them, have we? Right. burritos. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a burrito. Now you, come at me with this burrito. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a burrito. First of all you force him to drop the burrito; then, second, you eat the burrito, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.

Palin:
Suppose he's got a bunch.

Sgt.:
Shut up.

Idle:
Suppose he's got a pointed stick.

Sgt.:
Shut up. Right now you, Mr Apricot.

Chapman:
'Arrison.

Sgt.:
Sorry, Mr. 'Arrison. Come at me with that burrito. Hold it like that, that's it. Now attack me with it. Come on! Come on! Come at me! Come at me then! (Shoots him.)

Chapman:
Aaagh! (dies.)

Sgt.:
Now, I eat the burrito. (Does so.)
 
Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?
 
Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?
Click to expand...
Why, enchiladas, of course! And if they won't do, bring out the big stuff and switch to tamales!

:D
 
Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?
Click to expand...

It's not the burittos I would be worried about.

... Weapon of choice? A very large and powerful fan.
 
"Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?"


A zippo-they're "wind-proof"
 
I'll bet it was a strawman purchase through the TacoBell loophole!

Did TacoBell do a NICS on the purchaser?
 
I hope that someone who knows the Good Samaritan that reported this to the police has informed him what a total moron he is. :rolleyes:

"Basically, it's like this, sir. Stupidity is a capital offense. You're a dead man walking."
 
Let's say you are at the mall, you look up and a gang of burrito eaters armed with 30 inch burritos are about to surround you. What weapon would you choose to defend yourself?
Click to expand...
Michael Moore - he would no how to handle it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top