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Rules to help your marriage

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by bronco61, Jan 10, 2003.

  1. bronco61

    bronco61 New Member

    Dec 27, 2002
    I know this has been around for a long time but it's almost spot on and hilarious.

    MEN'S Rules
    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are
    our rules ! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE !

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us griping about you leaving it down
    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
    best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
    1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
    1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons
    guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair.
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently
    1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which
    pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your
    girlfriends are for.
    1. Check your oil! Please.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and
    void after 7 days.
    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us- We refuse to answer.
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we -
    meant The other one.
    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
    colour. We have no idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little
    we care about you.
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
    but it is just not worth the hassle.
    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the
    shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
    1. You have enough clothes.
    1. You have too many shoes.
    1. No, NO you really do have too many shoes.
    1. But I don't have enough guns.
    1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
    1. Guns and Tools are as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
    1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
    Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really
    don't mind that, it's like camping.
  2. Joe Demko

    Joe Demko Mentor

    Dec 30, 2002
    Just two minutes from sanity.
    Only one rule to remember: "She is your wife, not your mommy."
  3. PATH

    PATH Senior Member

    Dec 25, 2002
    Rockland, New York

    I am printing this out and putting it on the fridge.

    Man is it spot on!
  4. Carlos Cabeza

    Carlos Cabeza Participating Member

    Jan 2, 2003
    Okie City, OK.
    I see storm clouds on the horizon...........

    "Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really
    don't mind that, it's like camping." HAHA !!!!!!!!!!!!
  5. Pendragon

    Pendragon Participating Member

    Dec 25, 2002
    Austin, Texas

    I think love is all about supporting and showing interest in your partners interests - even if you have to fake it and even if you are bad at faking - the effort is what its all about.

    Yesterday, my wife got home from visiting her mom and what do I do?

    I tell her to "find the gun I am wearing" - haha - she can't. So I pull out my new (to me) an unloaded S&W 638 from my pants pocket. She actually asked me about it, took it, asked me how to check that it was unloaded and hefted it, aimed it, dry fired it, etc. Note that my wife is NOT A SHOOTER. She did it because she loved me.

    Heck, the day before, I looked all over her new iron candlesticks that she got.

    Give and give, not give and take.
  6. Strings

    Strings Senior Member

    Dec 25, 2002
    30 miles from Everywhere, right in the middle of N
    Well, it's spot on for some...

    Personally, neither my wife or I have any interest in spectator sports...

    My wife doesn't really like "mall shopping" that much (but DOES enjoy wandering a gunshow)...

    The rest, however...

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