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Where did the hunting department go?

Discussion in 'Hunting' started by sm, Sep 10, 2008.

  1. sm

    sm member

    I am not getting old; instead the world has gone nuts. *smile*

    Preface: I personally do not own a TV, and when I did, it was used for old movies, educational tapes and the like.
    When I was coming up, we learned woodscraft skills, how to shoot, and wore natural , neutral colors to hunt in.

    Sporting Goods Store:
    Now when I was coming up, these stores had fishing, hunting, and archery sections.
    Life was simple, even a kid knew Ben Pearson was the archery stuff, Abu-Garcia was fishing, and Winchester was hunting.

    Okay, the sign says "Sporting Goods Store".

    How come we got folks wearing elastic "clothes" that is so tight it looks like it hurts in the parking lot?
    Especially on one, it looks like two pigs are trying to fight under that tight material...
    with a machine that looks like a engine puller, except chrome with black padding?

    I check the sign, it says "Sporting Goods Store", still...oh well...I head on in.
    First thing I see is furniture.
    Second thing I see on the table is a flyer on how I can get my breasts enlarged.

    I just know Rod Serling is going to appear at any moment.

    "Welcome to Sporting Goods Store sir, how may I assist?" - nice young lady asks.

    "Ma'am, where are your 28 ga shotgun shells?"


    Yes, that was me sharing with two gals, sitting on the table with a breast enlargement brochure in hand , there is such a thing as 28 gauge shotguns, they make 28 gauge shells, and not only is this gauge used for skeet, it is used for doves, quail, ...

    "Shotgun shells are back there sir" they inform me.
    Nice ladies, and appreciated the shotgun talk from me.

    I just figured out why the 4 wheelers are next to this furniture.
    It is so far back "there" , it might be faster to buy this 4 wheeler to ride all the way back there to where shotgun shells are.

    <checks price tag on 4 wheeler>

    I did not pay that much for my first car!

    So as I trek back, I turn around every so often to see where I have been.
    I would have snagged a compass off a rack to get my bearings, but I was afraid of getting lost, looking for a compass.

    I do have a pen, and now I wonder whether I should make notes on how many steps I take in directions , on the brochure for breast enlargement, or the one I snagged off the Energy drink display for some pills that would allow me to drive like Jackie Stewart, shoot like John Wayne and throw a football like Johnnie Unitas.

    Heck, in the old days, we would stop at a filling station, and could run inside, get a box of 28 ga shells, some Cokes, Peanuts, Candy Bars and be back out before the gas jockey got the vehicle gassed up, checked air in tires , cleaned the windshield, and checked under the hood - and he/she was fast!

    I also don't think we walked as far to where we were going to hunt once we parked the truck, as I was having to walk to get "way back there" to get the darn 28 ga shells.

    I see all sorts of stuff in the hunting department, once I arrived, that ...well...*snort*...you have to be kidding me!

    Phyllis Diller would not be caught dead wearing some of this stuff.
    You can forget Uncle Miltie wearing any of it for his old routines too.

    Either someone in Marketing County has never been hunting , or they have some purple and pink vegetation and this camo is suggested to be worn out hunting in Marketing County *snort-snicker*

    In the old days one could smoke in a store.
    Boy how I miss them days!
    By the time I trekked back there, I needed a smoke to get my wind back...

    "Pops, how can we help you today?"

    "Pops?" I am 53 years old, have all my hair, in need of a haircut, and the only gray I have is in my mustache.
    Now if I can only find the voice...<looks around>

    When did they come up with Military Britches that blends in with red and blue ice chests?
    That shirt...I ain't ...words don't describe. No wonder employees wear them vests, it is to hid awful tastes in T shirts.

    "Yes , I am looking for 28 ga shotgun shells".


    "Hunting need these shells" he sez.

    When did they come out with shells longer than the Roman Candles I had as a kid?
    Well I am not going to get to smoke, and I for sure am not going to hike back out to do so, and hike back in...
    I follow ice chest camo britches to see what gun shoots these shells.

    You have to be kidding me!

    That thing is bigger and weighs more than many grandmas I know, or have known.

    Lady Luck showed...
    "That is nice, still I am just needing some 28 ga shells, target loads, #8 shot like used for skeet" - I said.

    "Skeet? What is that?" - he asked.

    Like I said, Lady Luck showed. If she is going to give me a set up line, then by golly I am going to run with it.

    "Critter, about so tall <hands up from floor to my waist>, that can fly 115.7 mph, and do ninja back flips and change directions ". - I said with a dead pan face.

    LawDog would have been sooo proud of me! *grin*

    I was sorta "pointed" to where the shells were , snagged what I came in for, and hiked on back up front.

    No wonder they sell running shoes on end aisles , folks wear out shoes just hiking all over the darn place.

    I see all sorts of stuff in the hunting department, and the only thing this stuff is good for, is hunting a wallet of a shopper and making it thin.

    It sure ain't for getting game, nope, nada, no way.

  2. oronocova

    oronocova Active Member

    Great story! Really well told... Kinda makes you sick doesn't it?

    I think I know the ones you are talking about and I have been in two of these "sporting goods stores" one down where I live now, one back home. At the one back home me and my dad were told the fishing pole we were looking at was a "throw away rig" and at the one down here I was told my henry rifle was "OK, but not very accurrate."
    I don't go in there anymore if I can help it. Yeah, we have only caught --thousands-- of atlantic croaker on these "throw away rigs"... think of what we could have done if we had spent 200 dollars on each pole/reel; MAN! And I haven't heard any complaints from the squirrels on the accuracy of the rifle...
    You're right... if you spend a lot of time in one of these stores you better wear your camo and better have a matching camo wallet so you can't find it.
  3. qajaq59

    qajaq59 Well-Known Member

    SM..... That was marvelous. And unfortunately soooooo true.
  4. Bearhands

    Bearhands Well-Known Member

    "Great story! Really well told... Kinda makes you sick doesn't it?"


    "Sporting" goods now seem to include Adidas water bottles and pink beach umbrellas. Heaven forbid you can acually find an ADULT working in a store that sells ADULT things. (Guns, ammo, etc). Each time I have visited a "Dick's Sporting Goods", I have to search for someone who might actually have a working knowledge about ANYTHING.
  5. Skoghund

    Skoghund Well-Known Member

    Great story. Tis a funny old world. I remember shooting wood pigeons with 1ounce loads of #6s. stalked deer wearing nearly white mole skins. The pigeons must have got tougher and the deer better eye site over the last 40years. Or is it that global warming thing? Now the stores are full of crap to make you a better hunter. When all you need is a bit of field craft that costs nothing but a bit of time
    As for the people who work in these shops you pay peanuts and you get monkeys.
    Its a great thing here in the frozen north of Scandinavia we still have proper gunshops.
  6. JohnBT

    JohnBT Well-Known Member

    Sporting goods stores, etc.

    There are sporting goods stores and then there are sporting goods stores. Green Top Sporting Goods has hunting/fishing/clothes/etc., but the sign on the front says it all. www.greentophuntfish.com The site isn't much, but check out the aisle of long guns at the top of the page. That's just one aisle and then there's the good stuff racked behind the counters.


    Around the corner we do have Gander Mountain <snort> and a Bass Pro is opening 10/1 and they're gonna have a restaurant and everything <snort, snort>

    I keep hearing Green Top is going to build a new store, but they've been on their lot for 60 years, so who knows.
  7. sm

    sm member

    Thanks folks.

    I am just a dumb old publik skooled suthern boy.
    Still even I know the difference in Deer and Dear.

    Deer are 4 legged critters.
    Dear are two legged critters.

    Being a guy, I like the female species of Dear.

    Southern Belle's are attracted to country boys, pick up trucks, lever action rifles, dawgs, horses, ...
    They ain't attracted to smell good juice.
    In fact a tanned , sweaty suthern boy , dusty and stinkin' pulling down a cold beer, or Dr. Pepper, just gets them Southern Belle's all-a-flutter.

    Deer , heck-fire and gee-willkers!
    They gots more Smell Good Juice in "Sporting Goods Store" , than Rexall Drug!

    Are folks going to Sporting Goods Stores and buying this stuff to get a date, or fell game for the table?

    *shakes head*
  8. Art Eatman

    Art Eatman Administrator Staff Member

    There ain't no doubt about what a Bass Pro Shop or a Cabela's is all about, but I really think they oughta offer roller skates to get around in those one-store shopping malls.

    Okay, I ain't gonna gripe because of all the fishing tackle between the door and the gun racks and the reloading supplies. But if I want huntin' clothes, I'll go to Goodwill. A helluva lot cheaper and it doesn't matter if they get bloody and muddy.

    Which really sorta leads into the question about why is all this high-dollar stuff is now required, when all us Olde Pharts who've been hunting for fifty or sixty years never needed it? Didn't know about all that stuff, 'cause it hadn't been dreamed up, yet? But somehow we just kept on eatin' deer meat. How'd we do dat?

    :D, Art
  9. Welcome to Oz - things are a bit different now that you've gone through the time machine.

    Which store was this? I'm guessing Academy.

    I can't fault them for having teams sports gear (such as under armour clothes) in a SPORTING GOODS store. After all, team sports are a type of sports and the goods you use to participate are thus sporting goods. But the furniture and breast enlargement pamphlets are kinda ridiculous, as is the colored camo..

    Funny story, though - thanks.

    You sure about that? I have no doubt that that's how it ONCE WAS, but dem type gurls is few and far between now, even out in the rural areas....quite unfortunately, because I find myself often quite sweaty and dusty.

    This is "No Country for Old Men", as they said in the movie of the same name.

    I like Sportsman's Warehouse, because they stock pretty much only hunting, shooting, reloading, fishing, and camping gear. That's what a grande-sized "sporting goods" store ought to look like. Though you gotta call the team sports stores *something*.
  10. Art Eatman

    Art Eatman Administrator Staff Member

    P.S., the problem for us Olde Pharts is that we have this apparently-mistaken notion that "change" implies betterment. Oops, big mistake.

    Like the time I walked into a sporting goods store--well, that's what the sign out front said--and asked where wuz the guns'n'ammo. As sm said, "Crickets."

    Torque & recoil are sports. The rest of it's just games. :D:D:D

    FLORIDA KEVIN Well-Known Member

    You must have grown up dating the girls who lived on their Daddy's hog farm ! Most of the country girls i know like their men smelling clean ! As for throw away fishing reels !! If you buy a 80 dollar reel and keep it for 2 years and then have to have it overhauled it will cost you 30 dollars labor plus parts with most of the 6 or 7 ball bearings costing 10-15 dollars each ! So when is it a throwaway ? Good story though ! and I hate all this politically correct BS too ! Kevin
  12. sm

    sm member


    Somebody please tell me Hemingway's Restaurant is still in Bass Pro in Missouri.

    There we wuz... me and this brunette with brown eyes Southern Belle on the road in a Ford.

    I am known to be spontaneous and just up and get a gall all-a-flutter.
    One morning got up, and sez to her, "we are going out for trout for lunch".

    Fifteen minutes later, we were on the road.
    Southern Belle, she knows who she is, and it only takes her 5 min to shower, get dressed, she don't need makeup, and she is ready.

    We run what we brung...and if we need something, we can get it.
    Basically we just left out with our coffee.

    Hit a mom-n-pop filling station and the gas jockey filled up the gas tank, checked the air in tires, cleaned the windshield.
    We used the restroom, got a small ice chest, some sodas, and they had a meat counter.
    So a loaf of bread, some chips and some meat was bought.
    Picked up a comedy tape and off we went.

    So we do the goopy, mushy gal/guy stuff like hold hands while we take in the scenery and laugh at this comedy tape.
    Arrive and find this mom-n-pop bait shop/filling station and we need fixed up.

    Nice couple.
    They informed us of the fishing conditions, and we got licenses, some simple spinning rod-n-reels, corn, marshmellows, tin foil, a lemon, one stick of butter....

    We each caught our limit of 5 trout in about 30 min time.
    Cleaned the fish, and went on up to the park to cook them in the park fire dealies.
    Just wrap in foil with butter and lemon and it does not take long.

    Met a nice older couple, and we shared trout, and they shared tea and fixin's.
    Nice couple out wandering around from Michigan.

    "Babe" she sez, "I don't want to head back, I have never seen the Arches in St. Louis".
    So , we head to see the Arches.

    Find a simple hotel room for the night after hitting the road and picked up toothbrushes, toothpaste and a few items at some local small town drug store.

    I got this terrible craving for steak, lobster bisque, and what not.
    "Babe, I got lunch planned for today" I said as she showered.
    "Works for me, I'll find out when we get there". - she replied

    She had never been to Hemingway's either.
    "Babe, did you know this eating joint is surrounded by Sporting Goods?" - she quipped.
    "Nah, really? I wondered what all this stuff was one has to wade past to get to the eating joint".

    Don't tell me I don't know how to hunt for steak, lobster bisque, shrimp bisque and what all else we got into.
    Got an order to go, as we wuz on the road.
    I mean cold steak eaten with the fingers , while driving is some mighty fine eating.

    Headed back home and stopped to take in a view at this park where again folks could fish for trout.

    Met another nice couple and they had the cutest twin granddaughters!
    So we were headed back, and, well, we popped the trunk and gave them two gals the Micro-Light spinning rod and reels we had used.
    You have never seen two young ladies as excited in all your born days!

    Funny thing was, they had been looking for something "just my size, but not dumb kids stuff".
    Sporting Goods Store, did not have anything like this.

    "We have .22 rifles we shoot too, do you have any .22 shells in your car?"
    Grandparents did that "shush don't be rude bit", laughing and shaking their heads while doing so.
    So yeah, we had a couple of boxes of .22 shells and gave them to the gals.
    "You have anymore good stuff you want to give us?" *lol*

    We sipped coffee, and watched them grand kids and grandparents fish.
    I think everyone in the county knew them kids caught their first rainbow trout.

    We shared the mom-n-pop places we had stopped in, with the grandparents as they were headed that way.
    We headed back on toward TN.

    I just know, them folks stopped at the places and had a good time.
    I bet them kids at Hemingway's, had the bestest time looking down at folks shopping while they ate.

    If you want the correct gear for fish or game, stop into the small mom-n-pop places where you will be fishing and hunting.
    Even filling stations, feed and seed, and tractor supply places.
    They got what you need, for what you are going after, and none of the stuff you don't.

    Oh you might pay a bit more for it, still, you will get back tips, advice, hints and all sorts of things, money cannot buy.

    Use Enough Mom-n-Pop
  13. Hee hee - a quote for the ages....
  14. ArmedBear

    ArmedBear Well-Known Member


    I think it was replaced by the Megastore.:D

  15. wleggart

    wleggart Well-Known Member

    I will be 60 this September, and the above was refreshing. I have discovered something: grandchildren! The two oldest are 5 and it doesnot matter what we are doing they are "all in"! I regret that the local hardware store does not sell 16 ga. shotgun shells for $.10 cents each to a kid that rode up on his bicycle. I miss skinny dipping with my friends and later my honey, but today ain't so bad: you just need to have a grandchild along.
  16. oronocova

    oronocova Active Member

    johnbt - GreenTop is pretty awesome. We stop there a lot on our way back from Tappahannock.
  17. sm

    sm member

    You can say what you will - still I am right.

    When out and about with kids, grand kids, nieces, nephews...
    Make it a point to stop into small town mom-n-pop stores.

    I have a responsibility to pass forward, as passed to me.
    I do not give one whit what Anti's, or anyone else says, I am right on all this.

    Our best natural resource is our older members of society. Our future is our kids.
    History should be studied, learned, respected, revered , preserved and passed forward.

    Go inside a Fillin' Station, and take it all in. Let the kids see and learn, and slow down, quit being in a hurry going nowhere and take all this in.

    Get a coke, candy bar, and buy some .22 rim-fire, and the dust is free.
    Snag that old box of 16 ga shells, even if you don't have a 16 gauge.
    Make some important memories.

    Check out the bait shop, and get with the mom-n-pop and let the kids dip some minnows, or crickets.
    If they "pick ducks" during waterfowl season, get permission for the kids to see "back there".
    Down pillows, and other items do not come off a "Down Tree" anymore than hamburgers come from a Mickey-D-Tree.

    Who cares if the cane pole, or fishing line, or shells, or hats, or whatever else is less money elsewhere, get the kids something.
    They will never forget that day they messed with a dawg, and the crickets got "aloose" and that is where that cricket tube came from they have.
    They will always remember that box of .22 shells, or gloves, or hat, - anything.

    Seriously, if nothing else, get with Mom-n-Pops you know, and do as we older folks remember-
    Get some kids, folks, and have loose shells and ctgs in a bucket, tin can or box and let them "buy" however many they have money for.

    We did this, pretending these new 20oz soda bottles were coke bottles of yesteryear.
    Math Lesson.
    We said each "bottle was worth 3 cents, and the kids with parents, adults did the math stuff on how many coke bottles meant they could buy however many of what kind of shells.

    Needless to say, .22 rim-fire was real popular.
    Kids are not dumb, funny as all get out sometimes, but they are not dumb.

    "Gee moOm, I get more stuff to shoot with my coke money if I spend it on .22 shells , don't you know!" *lol*

    I like the kid that did some serious "hagglin'".
    "These .410s are not as big as the 20 ga, and yellow colors cost more than these green .410s, and .410s are not very effective, so how about I get these for one coke bottle each?" ( 3 cents)
    [.410s were priced five cents in for this dealie]

    These kids may grow up and there not be any more mom-n-pops.
    So getting a pocket knife from a feed and seed store, is a good idea.

    These kids hear stories and it is just the right thing to do, to take the time, and put in the effort to show them all these things, many of us grew up with, and share.

    There is more to responsible firearm ownership than firearms.
    Applies to hunting, and fishing as well.

    Folks go on about "getting a good deal" at these Sporting Goods Stores.
    I beg to differ.

    Mom-n-pop will have BBQ loaf, bread, chips, and cokes and join you having a picnic, inside, or outside a store.

    They will show a kid, and adults how to put that braided line on a cane pole...
    Snag a cleaning rod and show how to use it on a single shot .410.
    How to trim a wick on a oil lamp, or how to put a mantle on a Coleman Lantern.

    The dawg is in the middle of all this, waiting for a kid to drop a chip, or pinch off a part of that sandwich...

    Like I said, I happen to be right on all this.

    Use Enough Mentoring a Kid.
  18. Okiecruffler

    Okiecruffler Well-Known Member

    Alright, I now have a new favorite SM tale. Many thanks on this rainy day.
  19. I hope a lot of people take your advice to heart - I know I will, with my nephews, be looking for the mom & pops, when I am allowed as uncle to take then huntin & fishin.
  20. sm

    sm member

    We have an aging society.

    Just a fact of life and it will continue to be this way.

    You get a bit older, and all that walking is not what you want to do, especially if you cannot.

    Mom-n-pops allow folks to pull up front, enter, shop, have items taken out to the vehicle for them and they can leave.
    This is a lot safer for our older folks.

    Sporting Goods Stores do not care about your safety, they just want your money.



    First off, most folks never learned fish are "right here" instead of "way the blazes out there".

    Simple has always worked, and jonboats still work.

    I used to have a small 12 foot jonboat . You talk about the most handiest and useful thing!
    I had a Shakespeare trolling motor. Hi tech for the times. I had Reverse and Forward.

    They up and got all fancy and added another forward speed, "just a tad faster than just forward".

    I also had some 3 hp outboard. I was getting outrun by folks with 9.9 Wizard motors , and they wuz in them big 14 foot jonboats! *lol*

    Heck, many times, I and mine just used paddles and "Skulled" in this boat.
    Just toss it in the bed of a truck, even them new fangled Datsuns, would carry it.

    Sloughs for accessing areas for all sorts of hunting from squirrel to deer to waterfowl.

    Fishing...who knows how many fish that old boat was responsible for?
    i.e. Limit on Crappie was 50 a day, and there are who knows how many times me and other, or two folks using that boat, each caught a limit of crappie.

    Plain, simple and easy to tote. I had a metal ice chest I set in the middle.

    I got that old boat, from a old Mentor that got it used.
    Fella got it, and then the peer pressure of it being too small and not "with the program" by his peers, and Mentor got it right.
    Fella that sold it, went to through the progression of "gotta haves" every time something new come out, or one of his peers bought something.

    Mentor, well it was for anyone to use, and we did.
    He was dying, and he knew it, so he said he passing forward that old boat and all to me.

    I kept up the way mentored and our folks used it as need, just like he had done.

    Boat had some character...
    He and we all could look at it, and point out dings, nicks, scratches, and tell stories.

    Yeah, right before he passed we all had a good time, just looking at this 12 foot jonboat.
    Hunting, fishing, used during flooding, and one old boy got his expectant wife, to ride around the farm pond, in hopes of getting that baby to hurry up and show up.

    "Made sense, as the boat is the reason she is expecting in the first place", he shared.

    This of course leads to a kid asking "mOom what does that mean?" *lol*

    The old boat finally gave it up, after some decades.
    It survived a tornado, and did one one good thing with flood waters and then got caught in flood waters and was found wrapped around a tree.

    That old boat is buried, where some quail covey's used to be.

    Just out and about one day in a area off a lake and we saw a For Sale sign on a 13 foot jonboat.
    Old boy and his wife had moved to this lake area, to retire.
    She up and got sick and died on him.
    He was going down and losing her did not help any.

    He could not drive anymore, nor use his boat. His eyes said a lot more than his words, the boy was in pain.

    So we bought that boat, his old truck.
    We made it a priority to keep tabs on him and assist him in being able to fish.

    His last days were good ones, seeing kids from his place fishing off his pier and adults using his boats.
    Just taking turns.
    Fixing him fish and spending time playing checkers with a old man.
    He could flat play checkers, and taught the kids.

    Sporting Good Stores do not have jonboats for sale like these.

    Go find that old couple, and buy their old jonboat from them.
    Take them out if they can still get out.
    Bring them fish and game taken from using that old jonboat.

    Pay attention and listen to the stories about that boat, as you are entrusted in passing this all on.

    Don't paint 'em...except...

    We only paint the bottom, we have a old old old tradition we do.
    Since we flip them over, we have a bit of fun with painting the bottom.

    "I could use a tumping back over".

    "Does this make my butt look big"

    "Old fisherman don't die, they just smell like they did."

    "I survived the flood of '78"

    "Don't forget the beer"

    "Where are the truck keys?"

    Mine sported: "Kilroy was here".

    Sporting Goods Stores just ain't got character and soul.

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