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World's Funniest Fake Soldiers...

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by effengee, Nov 2, 2008.

  1. effengee

    effengee Member

    Apr 22, 2004
    In a house near Bennington, Vermont, USA, North Am
    I've read several posts here and on other forums about those scum of humanity, those useless grubs that claim to be ex-military spec-ops...
    I was wondering how many here have outed one of these idiots due to their total lack of firearms knowledge. Please share...

    My personal favorite was when a guy tried to convince me and some friends he was a Marine sniper in Iraq and how he had killed two Iraqi's with one shot.
    Get this: He said they were leaning in close to light cigarettes off the same lighter, so he put a round from his specially-made .50 BMG sniper rifle right "between" these two guy's faces and how the bullet actually ripped their faces off as it whizzed by them... He actually aimed to miss.
    When I laughed and said: "Yeah, pull my other leg and it plays jingle bells"
    he actually launched into an incoherent dissertation on how it was ballistically possible to near miss a target and yet still cause damage from the "Sonic concussion". When I finished telling him about the guy who had a 105mm howitzer shell pass between his legs with no "sonic concussion" damage that was worse than bruising, he stated that that was different, I sighed and then a man with a WW2 veteran hat on stepped up behind the guy and said to me and my friends:
    "Boys, you better save yer watches 'cause the poop done already filled yer boots."
    We laughed and the "sniper" escaped and evaded...
  2. Rustynuts

    Rustynuts Active Member

    Mar 29, 2007
    They actually are developing weapons based on that, but they tend to be BOMBS not bullets. Saw a show on Future Weapons I think where they had a bomb/mortar that would explode near an armored tank and if the hatch was up the concussion would kill the crew without having to defeat the actual armor.
  3. JoseM

    JoseM Member

    Mar 13, 2006
    Fuquay Varina, NC
    Not really the same, but close....back in college (at NCSU in Raleigh), there were two kids saying that they just got weekend leave from Basic Training and were hitting on my girlfriend. Well, I was in the Army National Guard at the time and actually was an officer (OCS - which means you can get your commission before you graduate).

    I watched from a "safe" distance because my girlfriend was asking what their "MOS" was and was asking other pertinent questions. Like, why was your hair so long, where you were stationed, how you got leave DURING basic training. Oh, the army doesn't have a basic training location in North Carolina...so that was another "one".

    I just sat back and laughed and wondered why anyone would lie about being away from BT?! That's not impressive, at least say they just got back from some secret deployment overseas!!!
  4. BHP FAN

    BHP FAN Mentor

    Sep 23, 2008
    Northern California
    I did my four years as a Squid many years ago,my kid brother is a combat medic in Iraq.My uncle was a col in the Cav in 'Nam,my grandfather was a WWII navy capt,my great-grandfather served in the Confederate army. Fake soldiers are sick,sad little men.
  5. JT in VA

    JT in VA New Member

    Sep 28, 2008
    I always have more respect for the vets who say I loaded trucks or stood a post but I did it well than for the fake GI Joes who claim to be super commandos but never served. I suspect the guys who have seen a bunch of killing and dieing don't speak of it much. Thank God for them though.
  6. longdayjake

    longdayjake Senior Member

    Apr 10, 2008
    Genesee, ID
    I bet that half of the special ops peoples that get outed are some form of ex military type. I have personally had to argue velocities, caliber, and even the differences of .223 and 5.56 to an army Lt. I think that sometimes the military tells the guys that they are the best in the world so much that eventually they start to believe it. Though our army is great, not all of them are professional gun experts. Whether it relates to guns or whatever you can usually find an ex military guy that knows everything because he was once in the military.

    about whether or not the bullets of a .50 bmg could kill you just by being close, I would ask someone how they just make 1/2" holes in thin little pieces of paper instead of tearing it to pieces.
  7. DeathByCactus

    DeathByCactus Member

    Sep 9, 2008
    We used to sit out at the smoke pit at my old community college before I transferred to a University. There was a kid, rich kid (real rich), who had some serious family issues. Anyway, he was out there telling everyone how he was in Iraq and got shot in the back a few times and the bullets had passed through him and he had gotten skin grafts to fix it so there were no marks.

    Well, I argued every point of logic to prove he was an idiot. However, I lacked the finishing blow, the hilarity shot. I was friends with the local recruiter, Sgt. Kelly, and I told him about the BS that this dude came up with. So, he was like let me talk to him.

    This is during the more crowded time when people are rotating out of class. Sgt. Kelly comes over, "Hey soldier, I hear you served in Iraq,' Sgt. Kelly says, 'what unit were you in? what was your MOS? Who was your CO? Where were you stationed? What were you equipped with? How long were you in for? Where did they send you before you deployed to Iraq?'" These were among the many questions that nailed his tomb of failure shut.

    He tried, he really did try to look truthful... It finally came down to, "I don't know what to tell you man, I was there..." I was laughing so hard I had to walk away. He never made up army BS again... other BS, just not army BS. Which I still called him out on all the time :evil:

    DAVIDSDIVAD member

    Nov 18, 2007
    Coast of Texas
    one of the security guards at Del Mar College in Corpus Christi was always telling my friends about how he was a "special forces" guy the year before, and his rent a cop job was just temporary.
  9. jerkface11

    jerkface11 Mentor

    Oct 27, 2005
    I used to work with a guy who was an Army Ranger sniper when we invaded Panama. His rifle was a semi automatic Browning A-bolt in .50bmg that the army let him take with him when he retired.
  10. pappy

    pappy New Member

    Mar 15, 2006
    Mentone, AL
    Very true, my Dad was such a person. I knew he had been in the army and had served in WWII, but he absolutley refused to discuss it. When he passed away, I was extremley surprised when the Army did a full deal funeral for him. As the oldest son, I recieved his service records, more medals than you could imagine, my Dad was a real bad a$$, and I never knew it.
  11. gripper

    gripper Active Member

    Jan 7, 2004
    Nashua NH
    This brings back memories of the guy I met on a bus trip after (11B10)AIT at Benning...I was 18,he was about 25...and he regaled me with his "Viet Nam experiences"...I think he must hav eserved in an operation so secret that he was deployed byears before his mother conceived him:neener:
  12. Treo

    Treo member

    Nov 30, 2007
    Co. Springs
    There was a guy(who shall remain nameless however if I said the initials Texas Skyhawk you'd know who I meant) that used to post here that told every body what a hardcore Seal he was and about all his medals and just what a general bad *** he was. He mentioned his stellar service career in every single post. One day one of the Mods asked him very politely to put up or shut up and he disappeared. He's not posted (under that name) since.
  13. ruger_dude

    ruger_dude New Member

    Feb 19, 2008
    I suspect the guys who have seen a bunch of killing and dieing don't speak of it much.
    My Dads the same way, the only reason I really know about his service record in 'Nam was from his brother who also served and my father confided in him about what he had seen.
  14. Birddog1911

    Birddog1911 Active Member

    Oct 30, 2008
    Peyton, CO
    In my time, I have had the pleasure to work with true "operators" from all branches, and a couple of different countries. I have counted a couple more as friends than aquantances(sp). None of them ever bragged themselves up; always silent professionals. When someone brags about being a Seal or Green Beret, I pretty much know it's BS.

    Oh, and I am NOT an operator. I just got to haul them from point A to crap spot point B, or vice versa.
  15. RippinSVT

    RippinSVT Member

    Nov 2, 2008
    I have never served my country, as I was medically-DQ'd on some bull**** a few years back while applying to the AF pilot program in AFROTC. That being said, I can't STAND people who disgrace our nation's REAL heros. My father was a 30-year AF colonel, one grandfather was in espionage against the Nazis in the Army Air Corps, the other watched his ship sink and his buddies burn in the water after his ship was hit by a German U-boat torpedo when he was 16 years old (faked his aged). My great-grandfather fought in the forests and trenches of Alsace-Lorain in WWI, and distant grandfathers fought in the Civil War.

    The military and respect for our nation's men is in my blood, and I feel violated when somebody fakes their service to look good. It makes a mockery of the guys who really did go through some stuff. My father-in-law was in heavy combat in Vietnam, and never speaks of it to anyone but me it seems,and only when he's had a few beers. He talks about how the guys who went through it never bring it up, and the guys on the sidelines are all of a sudden bragging MOH winners.
  16. Eightball

    Eightball Senior Member

    May 31, 2005
    Louisville, KY
    Had a guy come into work once, claimed he was some kinda mix between specops, a medic, and mechanic, that would fly with the chopper in case there were problems in-flight (if there's problems, why is it in the air?), and lob 40mm rounds from his M203 to cover the paratrooping medics he watched over. Claimed he had been in afghanistan for a while. The opener for his conversation was that he was curious what an M16/M203, M60, and various other goodies would go for, as "they let [him] keep them when he finished his tour of duty." While stifling a laugh, I politely informed him of his massive, you're-spending-the-rest-of-your-life-in-federal-prison type "error," he realized that I was not one to be so easily fooled by his wannabe stories.

    Eventually, after defending himself for a while, he let slip that he was only in ROTC at the local college, whereupon I couldn't help but audibly snicker a bit.
  17. John Wayne

    John Wayne Participating Member

    Dec 11, 2007
    My experience has been that those who have done something which most idiots brag about and claim to have done (being in SF, taking a life) don't talk about it.

    My neighbor of 15 years took part in the invasion of Normandy. To this day, I have heard him speak of it once, and that was only after someone else asked. It was not a long conversation.
  18. Golden Hound

    Golden Hound Active Member

    Apr 26, 2008
    I will NEVER for the life of me understand why people lie about things like that. How can they possibly feel good about it? There's no pride to be had in bragging about something fake. You'd have to be a real snake to do it.
  19. mike724

    mike724 New Member

    Dec 25, 2007
    Boca Raton, Florida
    zone of my best friends says he was a SAEL, but when I showed him my AR-15, he asked me to show him how to operate it!!!!
    Sould I loan him money?
  20. Gord

    Gord Senior Member

    Jul 19, 2006
    Behind enemy lines
    I guess the entire thread would be OT without that line, but dude, a lot of military personnel have no real firearms knowledge outside of what they're taught in Basic. Shooting guns for a living does not always translate into shooting guns as a hobby, and .mil guys are just as prone as anyone else to believe the wild tales about .45 blowing your arm or leg clean off on a toe shot, or whatever.

    It's a much more reliable indicator when they have no knowledge of military practices and procedures.

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