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Old January 13, 2011, 12:05 PM   #26
goon
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Well... I'd respectfully suggest that your problem isn't the advice you're getting. The problem is that your wife doesn't really want to carry.
If she did, she'd be at the gun store with you right now looking over all her options. She'd be bugging you to go gun shopping this weekend.
When my ex-girlfriend wanted to buy her first gun she drove over three hours to meet me so I could go with her to help her choose one. As it turned out, she only really needed me to help her learn how to use it. She bought what she wanted after asking and largely ignoring my suggestions in favor of what she figured would work well for her.
If your wife isn't at least at that point, there's not any point in buying her a gun. About the only thing you could try is buy a gun you like that you think she might also like, then see if she appropriates it for herself.
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Old January 13, 2011, 02:16 PM   #27
skiwi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CoRoMo View Post
That's my point.

My wife wants to carry, but not bad enough to do any real searching or evaluating. I want her to carry, but I'm not going to shove an XD in her purse and tell her that she's good to go. She's just not motivated enough to move forward at a consistent pace. She's also too indecisive to come to a conclusion. So back to the title of the thread...

Yep, sure do. Unfortunately, none of the advice that I've received is getting us anywhere.
CoRoMo, it sounds like you wife needs to shoot a lot more to become less sensitive to recoil. Once she is comfortable handling different calibers and gun types -polymer, steel and alloy framed guns, she may become a little more specific. If she is serious about concealed carry, she should commit to shooting regularly, which only reinforces her comfort with guns and recoil.
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Old January 13, 2011, 05:44 PM   #28
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Both goon and skiwi are correct.

She says she wants to move forward, but she's not doing that. Every time a violent news story catches her ear, she kicks herself and says that she needs to stop piddling around and get a handgun to carry. She's had close friends that have become victims of violent crime, and it cause her to take one more step toward carrying, but just the one step.

She's not really that motivated at all. That's the problem.

Maybe I'll start a thread about helping usher things along, but this thread is about me wanting to buy her a gun. If she was fully committed to this, she'd have burned up a case of ammo through her daily carry gun years ago. Like goon posted, what I plan to do is just buy guns that I'm interested in and let her shoot all of them. If she likes one, she can have it. That's really the only advice that could possibly work.

I didn't mean to hijack the thread, I just wanted to add an additional view that I never see posted in these types of threads. I'll call it the 'spirit is willing but the flesh is weak' syndrome.
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Old January 13, 2011, 07:00 PM   #29
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I bought my wife of 26 years a .38 K frame snub 20 years ago, which was a mistake because she carried it for a few years (because I bought it for "her") but she didn't really like to practice with it, though she did enjoy shooting shotguns. Shooting my BHP changed her mind about handguns being "fun". She loved it. That quickly progressed to her "liking" to shoot my S&W 5904, and soon after she declared that the 5904 was "her's". Now she carries and really likes a S&W 3913. It's a process that I prolonged unnecessarily by thinking that "I" knew what would be best for "her".

Les
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Old January 13, 2011, 07:58 PM   #30
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Les, it sound like a rather cunning way to buy more guns! The more she claims, the more you need to "replace"
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Old January 13, 2011, 08:06 PM   #31
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^^^^^
Good point. She never complains about my acquisitions, which is the makings of a fine woman.

Les
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Old January 14, 2011, 02:37 PM   #32
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CoRoMo, do you reload? If so, perhaps try loading up some rounds with minimum powder charges to reduce felt recoil, thus making it more fun for her to shoot more often, then start increasing the loads over time until they are similar to the SD ammo she would carry.

In a similar way, after shooting a 44 magnum then shooting 9mm, it feels like a 22 etc.
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Old January 14, 2011, 02:58 PM   #33
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Yes I do.

My father tried what you are describing, to help my mom like her 642. It didn't work. She should have just done some work and found a proper handgun that she liked, rather than buying the smallest and lightest one without shooting it. My mom loves the way the 642 looks, how little it is, and how light weight it is. But she hates shooting it, so she never shoots it. Over Christmas, she asked me to find a .22lr pistol for her instead. So I showed her a Beretta M21. Sometimes, people just aren't willing to go about things the best way.

I don't want to go that same route with the wife. My wife just needs to decide what she really wants/needs and to go shooting with me more.

I'll take her shooting any time she wants. I've paid for the carry permit and I'll pay for any additional pistol classes she is willing to take. I'll pay for the gun, no matter what it might end up costing. I'll pay for any subsequent guns that she might decide to have instead. I'll pay for all the ammo she could possibly need for practice and some quality ammo to carry. I'll pay for rentals, range sessions, and all accessories she could wish for; Crimson Trace grips, holsters, extra magazines, speed loaders, carry purse, steel targets, you name it. I'll take her out to eat at the place of her choice, to celebrate her decision on a handgun, and I'll take her out every year for the rest of her life, on that anniversary date.

But I'm not going to manufacture the motivation she needs to take the next step.
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Last edited by CoRoMo; January 14, 2011 at 03:24 PM.
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Old January 16, 2011, 05:06 PM   #34
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Quote:
Small guns can be uncomfortable to shoot.
My wifes favorite piece to shoot is my steel framed Colt Commander in .45 acp. The piece isn't too heavy or long (like my full size revolvers), yet it has enough heft to tame normal pressure .45 acp loads.

She especially doesn't like poly framed carry pieces in 9mm, as they tend to have a snappier recoil with more muzzle flip.

Then again, it could be that she has exceptional taste.
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Old January 16, 2011, 11:54 PM   #35
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Whatever you can do to get women (half the population) interested in firearms is a good thing. Do what suites your relationship or woman best and it'll work out.
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Old January 21, 2011, 10:38 AM   #36
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Handgun for the wife

Gave my new bride a 4" blued colt python for a wedding present. After 30 years, she still has the revolver & me !!!! She even loads all her .357 ammo. About a year later, gave her my 1974 rem model 700 in .243 winchester. Holy smokes she shoots them both very well.

Moral of the story: Cajun women from lafayette, louisiana, like diamonds & colt pythons. Ah-eeeee !
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Old January 21, 2011, 10:55 AM   #37
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I guess I am lucky. My wife has a Kimber ultra and a Glock 27 that she shoot better than my 6'5" 250lb brother. I bought her a LCP and she hates it saying it does not feel substantial enough in her hand. She is not a big girl, just a country girl from Arkansas.
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Old January 21, 2011, 11:41 AM   #38
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It's good to remember that SHE will be shooting it and she should

pick what feels best to her hand.

My wife LOVES her old 4" S&W Combat Masterpiece...but only after she actually shot it at the range. She thought is would be too big, but has had it for years and really enjoys shooting it.

Guys, you would not like it if someone bouight a gun for you without your input...give the ladies that consideration and respect, and I guarantee you they will really take to shooting enthusiastically...and if that gun is ever needed, she will know how it works and how to use it.

mark
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Old January 23, 2011, 11:37 AM   #39
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"I am sure you will look great in those diamond ear rings, and the Prada Bag that she buys you."

Step 1: Go to the gun store and give her the credit card
Step 2: Back away from the counter
Step 3: Shut up



yep
yep

listen up fellas, there are only two things you can buy for your lady all by yourself that will make her smile every time -
"sparklies" (diamonds, the real kind)
long stemmed roses (the real kind, any color will do)
parfum - risky business, best know her one special favorite, or just forget it
Victoria's Secret - let her buy her own, unless you plan on wearin' it yourself
(count yourself lucky if she wears it at all, see again "sparklies and roses")
call that 37 years worth of opinion, learned the hard way, guys

don't wait for a special reason, "just do it", and spend as much as you can stretch your budget for, and no matter the price, large or small, Walmart or Cartier, you cannot go real wrong
(not even if she has a few problems with being around "plant" stuff too much for too long... something or other to do with the thought that counts thing)

guns, let her shop, any "bad" choice is still a good choice, get over it

PS
what goon said, yes
you can help her pull the wagon, but don't ever push her into one
being kicked in the head by a mule is less hazardous, and more fun
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Last edited by oldfool; January 23, 2011 at 11:53 AM.
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Old January 24, 2011, 10:06 PM   #40
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Are there ANY woman on her (besides me, a NEWBIE) to help you guys out?

I have an OLD browning 22 that was my dad's. LOVE THE OLD MAN, the gun, not my dad. Would never carry it as it's over 10 inches long and the front site sticks up over half an inch. I also have a GORGEOUS little sleek browning 380 from around 1968. "she' is only 5 inches long and sweet and smooth as can be to carry. BUT it HURTS to shoot and tends to jam and have eject issues... not fun or reliable...nice to look at.
Bought a walther pk380, ok Hubs paid for it, and I am in LOVE with him and it.

He followed the three rules. :-)
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Old January 25, 2011, 09:43 AM   #41
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Harleybabe:

Thanks for posting. Your post points out that gun preference, and experience are personal, and time experienced.

What works for a woman's hands doesn't for my rather large, XL sized hands. Same problem with the new cell phones. Tiny buttons work great for the 5' woman working on one in Tmobiles display, but don't work at all for me.

Walther PPK/S was the first gun I bought, and, the first one I sold. Grips too small, terrible trigger for me. No accuracy. For you, it's PERFECT. Each to their own.

The best suggestion I can make is take the friend to the range. Put a bunch of different guns out, and let them shoot them. Friend did that with me. Turns out for me, 451 Detonics was my pick. His was his beautiful Python, in .357. I didn't like the noise of the .357, and the light bullet weight. Instead, I went for 200 grains, at 1200 fps, out of a Mark VI, and went to it like a duck to water.

Grip choices, and sizes, are also super important. Match the grips to the hands.

I love women, and, wish they ALL loved handguns and shooting.
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Old January 25, 2011, 09:47 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepSouth View Post
I think that about summed it up.

Someone here recently gave three steeps to helping a woman buy a gun, he said.

Step 1: Go to the gun store and give her the credit card
Step 2: Back away from the counter
Step 3: Shut up

I would also add to be ready to buy another gun in a few months, she will most likely either love the gun and want another or she'll hate it and want another.
Not too far from what I did. I bought her a gift certificate at the store so she was under no pressure from me.
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Old January 27, 2011, 12:11 AM   #43
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...

Last edited by s7evnth_WrenkiN; January 27, 2011 at 12:18 AM.
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Old January 28, 2011, 01:02 PM   #44
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I let my wife do the picking.

She picked out a cute little 5-shot .38 spec.

Tiny grip, lightest weight, smallest size.

Even with the lightest .38 spec loads I can buy... "It kicks too much!"
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Old January 29, 2011, 10:03 PM   #45
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The other day I was gone at night and my wife was at home alone. When I got home she stated that she thought she heard someone outside while I was gone, so like a dutiful husband I went outside and check, finding no signs in the snow.

But this got me thinking about a gun for her while I'm gone, so I stated that I was thinking about getting a gun for the house? My wife responded she thought maybe a pistol, but I don't feel conformable with her trying to use a pistol. She doesn't want to go through a safety course and a pistol to my way of thinking is just to easy to accidentally shoot one self without training. As such I opted for a Remington 11-87 Youth in 20ga.

If my wife was willing to go through a firearm training course I would seriously look at a J-frame 38 for her as they are problem the most reliable action and the most forgiving.
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Old January 31, 2011, 06:19 PM   #46
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First, take her to your lawyer and change your will to exclude her if she uses any of these firearms on you!
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Old February 1, 2011, 07:21 PM   #47
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vaherder: Browning Citori Lightnings are excellent first shotguns. My son picked his out at age 10 and still has it...he's 25...and he still shoots it regularly...at game in season and sporting clays in spring/summer.
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Old February 1, 2011, 07:25 PM   #48
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Clance: My advice: If you get her a J-frame .38, try to find an S&W model 60 with the 3-inch barrel...or one with the 5 inch barrel. It takes considerable practice to hit a target with a 2-inch snubbie in the dark when one is scared. And do not load .357s in it for her. Stay with 148 grain wadcutters until she says she wants some loads with more ooompf. (Advice is free, and one often gets what he pays for.)
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Old February 1, 2011, 07:34 PM   #49
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I am truly blessed. My petite wife of 28 years loves to go to the range with me and loves to shoot my Browning BuckMark for grins. She does not like the larger stuff. My equally petite 23 year old daughter also loves going to the range with me, but, on the other hand, prefers the Series 70 .45ACP Colt Combat Commander (go figure). Both my gals are absolutely deadly accurate. If what they are shooting at is out to 25 feet, their bullets are going in a two inch group exactly where they want them....scared or not......(another loooooong story for another time)
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Old February 2, 2011, 09:52 PM   #50
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I have to add my experience. I've been married for 35 years and my wife has shot with me from time to time and has shot most of my pistols. When she decided she wanted to carry, I let her pick out the pistol and she picked a KelTec P32. She liked it because it was small and light. She has a purse with a center gun pouch that she got at the gun show.

She was never able to shoot it very well. That said, I couldn't shoot it very well either. The KelTec P32 is really a belly gun.

The range we shoot at offered a Women's Handgun course (taught by a woman) and she took this class. IMO, it was a great class. It covered theory, handling, legalities, and gave her the opportunity to shoot her KelTec and several other guns. She decided that the KelTec was not for her. She shot well with the instructors Glock 19. She had shot my Glock 23C before. She wanted something a little smaller so we decided on a Glock 26. I put a Pearce extender on the magazines (not extra rounds...just a pinky rest).

I took her to the range and she shot VERY well. She outshot her brother. She now understands that she needed to sacrifice weight for shootability. This is now her bedside gun and carry gun.

BTW, she also started to shoot my Olympic Arms K3B (5.56mm) and LOVES it. She considers it to be her backup home defense gun. She is talking about shooting my defense shotgun now.

So, bottom line: The handgun course she took was a godsend. In case folks are interested, it is offered through Insight. Click here for the course description.
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