Old Sayings

Olon said:

Brother, if I stepped on a worn out dime I bet a nickel I could tell ya if it was heads or tails!

Hank

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Only a nickel?

My wife's version: "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and get rid of him for the whole weekend."

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

Use it up, wear it out.
Make it do or do without

To sin by silence makes cowards of men

“If wishes were horses, beggars would ride”
“There is no fool like an old fool”
“Spare the rod, spoil the child”
“Waste not, want not”
“You can lead a whore to culture but, you can’t make her think”

“Here.....hold my beer and watch how it’s done .....”

An old cop friend of mine always says...
"5% of the population causes 95% of the problems."

There is no food...that adding butter to...won't make better.

It’s not paranoia if they really are out to get ya.

The harder I work the luckier I get.

Wish in one hand and chit in the other; let me know which one fills up first.

Even if you’re on the right track, you get run over if you just sit there.

And my all time favorite, from my Pop, after a long day bustin’ a$$ side by side with him...” We didn’t get chit done today, boy, but we’re gonna give ‘er he’ll come tomorrow...”

Apropos, for today—-
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

Shucks , the train has already left the station.

Twiki357 writes:

If God didn’t want us to have guns, he wouldn’t have given us trigger fingers.

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Reminds me of another, that goes "If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat."

dh1633pm said:

Grandpa's best saying was "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free".

And guess who said this: "I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it."

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That's Krint Eeshwuud !

My grandmother and mother were in The Great Depression. Both used to say" There was nothing great about the depression, it was terrible". Well mom and gram I may get a taste of one myself.

If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?

Sometimes the bear eats you, sometimes he poops you out on the forest floor. The best you can hope for is to be left in a shady spot with a good view

Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans

It's not how hard you hit them. It's where you hit them hard

Attributed to Benjamin Franklin: "beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy." But what he really said was about rain descending down on the vineyards changing the grapes to wine which is " constant proof God loves us and loves to see us happy. ".
W C Fields "Beer. Helping ugly people to have sex since 3000 BC."
" you can fool half of the people half of the time. ..that's enough to make a decent living. "
" never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump"
"Reality is an illusion that occurred from the lack of alcohol"
"Start every day with a smile and get it over with"

Sometimes when it feels like your life is falling apart, be patient, it might be falling into place!

This is "Outwitted" by Edward Markham and my personal favorite:

He drew a circle that shut me out, heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But love and I had the wit to win: we drew a circle and took him in.

JTHunter said:

"Murphy's Laws"
1 - If anything can go wrong, it will.
2 - Left to themselves, things will go from bad to worse.
3 - Murphy was an optimist.

"Age and Experience can often overcome Youth and Skill."
"Don't mess with Seniors. They know multiple ways to take you out."

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"Nothing is as easy as it looks. Everything takes longer than you think it will.
If anything can go wrong, it will, and at the worst possible moment"

Walter J. Murphy, Heuristician Emeritus

(...at least, that's how I heard it)

Keep your powder dry .
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush .