Getting the wife shooting; our story

When I first met her about 3.5 years ago, she was pretty anti-gun. I explored that delicately when we were dating, and decided it is more of a lack of gun education than anything rational.

Over the years, she has asked questions that I've answered, and she slowly built up a low level interest. One time, I mentioned I'll take her shooting with me, and she was really happy and excited. She was happy that I didn't just consider it a "Guy Thing" that I would rather leave her out of.

A few weeks ago, I took her to the range, where I had her try my Ruger Mk. II Target model. She liked it, but thought it was too heavy. She could cock it; only flinched a bit, which we worked out pretty quickly.

Next, I let her shoot my Hi-Power. She REALLY likes that one, but hasn't got the hand, arm or chest strength to use it independently. She COULD do it, but had to struggle and messed it up about half the time.

Then, she said she wanted to try my new carry gun, the Sig P365. She was refreshed, saying "Oh, this is nice and light!" I said: "Yes, but it also kicks harder because of that. It won't hurt you, but it'll jump quite a bit more in your hand than the Hi-Power." I don't think she really believed me until she shot it. That one, there was NO WAY she could rack the slide; just couldn't grab on.

When the day was done, she said she had fun and was happy I was so patient with her.

I mentioned maybe she's a revolver gal, and told her there's no need to rack the slide or keep one's elbow and wrist locked for it to work right.

I mentioned it here in a thread somewhere, and some helpful member recommended a S&W Shield EZ. The local shop has one in 380; that slide is REALLY easy to rack, and has the protruding ears on the back to make it easier to grab ahold of. I showed her a pic of it, and she was: "Meh." I brought her in to look at it in person, and she liked it a little better. I wish they had one in 9 mm. The shop owner said the slide is only a smidge harder to rack on it, compared to the 380.

Fast forward a few weeks and I brought her shooting with me again yesterday, when we shot only revolvers. When I was packing up the guns to take, I showed her all my revolvers:

• 5" S&W 625 in 45 ACP (too big, she doesn't like it)
• 4" S&W 19 in 357 Mag. Gunsmithed. (ugly; too big)
• 3" Ruger SP-101 in 357 Mag. (she likes the look of it, and it's our home defense gun, so I packed it)
• 7.5" Ruger Redhawk in 44 Mag. (she dislikes it; way too big and heavy. I packed it anyway, to help illustrate that big/heavy can be a benefit and doesn't always mean hard to shoot)
• 1.75" Ruger LCR in 38 Spl. (I packed it because she likes how light and small it is)

We shot the three we brought, and here's how it went:

1. LCR, as predicted: She likes the gun, but not actually SHOOTING it.
2. SP-101 with 38 +P level reloads. "This is OK, but not easy to hit with."
3. Redhawk with 44 Spl "-P" level reloads. She thought I was trying to prank her to see her react to heavy recoil. I assured her it wasn't the case. She shot it and really struggled to hold it up, but she did GREAT with it. Complained that her arms are sore from holding it up.

Now, she has mixed feelings but is trusting my next step. I want to buy her a gun and I read the sticky thread on the subject. I'll let her make the final decision, but this is what I'm thinking comes next:

• Rent the Shield EZ in 380 that one local shop/range has and a box of ammo and let her shoot it. See how she likes it.
• See if they have a small or medium framed S&W or Colt revolver for rent, but not as small & light as the LCR. Maybe like my SP-101, but with a better trigger?
• Bring the S&W 19 next time we shoot. I think maybe it's on the big side for her hands and it's the square butt version, so there's not much more I can do, grip-wise.

Anyone local with something that might be suitable that we could maybe meet at a range and try?

Other thoughts?

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In other news, I took the class and applied for my CC license. It should come in a week. I tried to get her to take the class with me, with the understanding that I would not necessarily expect her to carry; I just wanted her along for the education part. She didn't want to.

I think I'm going to buy her a gun training package from the local place that's geared toward women. (she's a girly girl, before you start telling me how your wife doesn't need girly stuff to succeed at shooting, hehehe) It's 4 or 8 hours worth of class, followed by a trip to the range supervised by the co-owner of the shop, who is a woman. She speaks Womaneze, so that my wife just follows immediately and doesn't feel intimidated.

Maybe I'll confirm if it's refundable in case she decides she doesn't want to go...

What do you think of that plan?

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I'll update this thread as things progress. Maybe it'll help someone else, too...

Buzznrose said:

Arm strength seems to be an ongoing issue. I don’t know if there are limitations that cannot be overcome or not but some type of conditioning/exercise with light weights or resistance bands would certainly help.

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I'm not sure she'd be willing to work out "just to shoot a gun", but I'll mention it when a good time comes up. ;-)

Buzznrose said:

I will bet she’d like a Glock 44 in .22LR. Very easy to rack, very light, easy to shoot, boring reliability for me, negligible recoil. With proper ammo, it’s better than a sharp stick and it looks identical to a G19.

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Good suggestion! I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with her having a 22LR that she may want to use for defense, though. Does Glock make one in 22 WMR?

I'm thinking now about 22 Mag pistols, maybe something with a 3" barrel? (not including chambers) Seems like it's just snubbies and full size pistols.

Oooh, maybe an 22 WMR LCRx, since she liked my 38 LCR except for the recoil? They make one with a 3" barrel. It's a few ounces heavier, with a bit more barrel to get a bit more velocity out of the WMR than it would see with snubbies. Adjustable sights and a SA option. It doesn't appear to have a full-length ejector rod, though. That seems like a missed opportunity.
https://ruger.com/products/lcrx/specSheets/5437.html

I just read the Chuck Hawks team review of the 3" LCRx in 22 WMR. Take-aways:

- Really heavy DA trigger at > 12 lbs.
- Heavy SA trigger at 5 lbs.
(Chuck believes it doesn't need to be that heavy for reliable ignition, but I bet Ruger tested some shady ammo and was going for zero failures to fire)
- Front sight is too short or rear sight is too tall; except at point-blank.
+ Substantially improved ballistics due to having a 3" barrel instead of 1-7/8", though they wished for a 4" option.
+ Accurate
+/- Much reduced recoil, compared to centerfire LCRs, but equivalent muzzle blast. (can't have everything)
+ 22 WMR is more effective than 25 ACP or 32 ACP, just a bit less effective than 327 Fed Mag and less effective than 38 Spl., 9 mm Luger and 357 Magnum.

This might be a great gun for Cari. (her colleagues have heard of her recent gun adventures and now refer to her as "Concealed Cari" :-D )

Frulk said:

I always liked the Ladysmith 3913. Safety is easy and intuitive. Don’t know what the Slide is like to rack but would think it’s tailored towards the female ability.

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That looks great. Seems like they're getting collectible now, and are worth as much or more than an equivalent new model. ($600 w/one mag on gunbroker) That's more than I'd like to spend on a used gun from the 90s, but if I come across one and it's a good fit for her, I'll get it.

James Fonteneaux said:

Good on you for being patient. Over the years, we have tried the EZ in 9mm and the LCR. Both were solid meh guns. They were traded for a Springfield Ronin EMP that my wife loves.

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That will be too big & heavy for her, I think.

She took her LTC class with a Glock 19 that she recently repo'd from me when we took a defensive carbine class earlier this year. That gun is well broken in, comfortable for her to shoot, and she feels confident with it.

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A good recommendation. Easy to find for rental, too. I'll rent one and have her shoot it.

Tallball said:

My wifey has damaged wrists. She can shoot a 32 H&R magnum revolver. She doesn't love to, but she has no problem with the recoil or trigger. She is okay with me leaving it loaded in her room when I'm out of town. She has two enormous dogs anyway.

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32 H&R Magnum ammo is getting hard to find. I guess the more modern equivalent is 327 Fed Mag, which would also shoot 32 Long. (is 32 S&W Long still available, or would I be looking at handloading?)

Tallball said:

My daughter always enjoyed shooting 22's and 32's. Now that she has her full growth, she enjoys 38 special and 9mm, if the handgun is steel and fits her hand pretty well. She is comfortable and accurate with her skinny-barreled 4" Model 10 (especially after I got grips that fit her better).

Would a 3" 38 special K frame work for the OP's spouse? It might need aftermarket grips.

Would a steel 3" 38 special J frame be heavy enough for recoil mitigation? Again, aftermarket grips might help a lot.

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We will see how she likes my S&W 19, which is a 4" K frame. It has a bit heavier barrel than a 10 and a bit heavier cylinder, but a fantastic trigger and will probably kick less than the SP-101 with given ammo. She has small hands and is weak of upper body, so maybe a J frame with regular 38 Spl ammo?

Tallball said:

No offense, but the SP101 is awkward revolver for some of us. A different steel 38 with mild practice ammo might be more suitable.

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No offense taken. I home-tuned the trigger mechanism with polishing and a spring set, but it's still not awesome. I think maybe you're on the right track.

Tallball said:

A 32 revolver is a far, far better choice than a 22 revolver, IMHO. The Ruger LCRx is available in 327 magnum. It will shoot 32 S&W long just fine. 32 S&W long has barely more recoil than a 22, but it shoots a significantly fatter and heavier bullet. My daughter would cheerfully shoot 32 S&W long when she was eight. A 32 revolver will usually have a better trigger than a 22 revolver of the same model, too.

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Good points. I just have to decide if I want to get into handloading another caliber. If I'm going to do that, I guess I may as well look for an old S&W in 32 S&W Long, get some brass, etc. I bet it's easy to reload for. An old S&W will be lighter than an SP-101 and have a better trigger, too. I guess it'll come down to supply and price, if I go that route.

I have a feeling she's going to say my 19 is too big & heavy, but not by a lot. The SP-101 is just about the right size & weight; it could just use a BIT less recoil and a better DA trigger. Seems to point to mild 38 handloads or a 32 S&W Long. Do you really think the longer cylinder of a 327 Fed Mag would not adversely affect accuracy with 32 S&W Long loads?

Tallball said:

My wife and daughter understand the manual of arms of a revolver just fine. Neither one of them would be able to handle any sort of problem with a semiauto under any kind of pressure, nor are they interested in practicing enough to improve to that point.

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Yeah, it would take me a lot of training to get her to clear a jam in an automatic. She would be overwhelmed and lose the fight if it came down to that.

Seeing your guns, I've had a S&W 64. It had mechanical issues. Maybe shot too much magnum in its previous police life.

The Charter 32 Magnum is not a bad idea. Did they make it in a 3"?

The Taurus 82... I remember when those came out. Are they OK if they're gunsmithed? How's the trigger compared to an SP-101? I seem to remember they were just like a S&W, but less refined and with the occasional quality issues.

Here's some footage of Cari shooting the SP-101 with 38 +P loaded on the mild side: (105 gr. bullet, 5.3 gr. of Win 231) I could load this quite a bit lighter for her; down to 3.4 gr. or so of Win 231. You can see some flinch, but I've seen worse.



...and here she is shooting the LCR. She's clearly shaken by this; doesn't like it at all. Look at the big flinch before the second shot. This is with factory 38 Spl and 158 LRN. Maybe we will try this again with lighter reloads. 105-125 gr. bullets and a lighter powder load. Lots of that powder (even in 38 Spl) is burning outside the barrel, so it isn't helping velocity anyway.

Corpral_Agarn said:

I do instruction part time and I hear stories similar to the ski story a lot. There's a relationship there that doesn't always work for learning new skills

Good on you.

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That tears it: I'm buying her admission to our local class for ladies soon.

Sometimes, when showing my wife something, I'll explain how to do something, demonstrate it, then ask her to do it and she doesn't get it. I can even move her fingers around, but she's stiff as a board; won't move. Then, one of her girlfriends will explain it in some dramatic and emotional way and she laughs and gets it immediately.